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Disclaimer: Purely un-intentional.

So its that time of the month, when we all come out of our cocoons and have to write that one article which keeps us alive on PFC. Of late, I was trying to figure out, what am I going to write about? Maybe I could just get away by writing a review of a film – give my “expert opinion” on how the film was or try and dig my closet and get out an ‘almost forgotten’ classic and talk about how great the film was in its times and how it is so relevant now (whereas in reality you don’t even get a VHS of the film anywhere; forget vcds or dvds). Or maybe, I could vent out my frustration on the current crop of film-makers and just blindly go on talking about what they OUGHT to be doing, without taking a look at myself in the mirror. No, wait, I could maybe cook up a false ‘film script’ that I’ve got finance for, and talk endlessly about how the ‘superstars’ in my film loved the story and decided to work for free. I’ll come up with a working title and put it up on IMDB, so that the readers could go and check it out. This would save me from the clutches of Dr. Evil for a month, but what after that? What should I write about, without feeling any kind of guilt or fakeness?

Off late, my life hasn’t taken a beautiful turn wherein I am flooded with film offers or given a chance to work on a film. So that rules out any remote idea of “how this director is so inspiring to work with” or “how we finally got that ‘shot’ done” or “how shitty this line is!” etc. Right now, I can feel for that ‘etc.’ written in the previous sentence. No, this is not a depressed writer, writing to save his ‘title’ or a film-maker vying for attention, please. That’s not my intention. I am trying to convince my mind to start thinking about that ONE post which is going to divert tides of people from another blog site (Recently in news because a certain ‘superstar’ has started visiting the site) to the one I’m writing for/in. This can be possible, if I reach the dizzy heights of fame and then write an article about “How I made this film/ how this film would have been made otherwise/ How to make a film etc.” or if I simple change my name to that of the ‘superstar’. Take your pick.

“Times have changed”, my mind writes. “You should talk about something that your fellow colleagues shed light on – ‘Frustration’ because you were ignored by Director X or ‘Excitement’ because a certain new film revived your tastes in cinema or ‘Anger’ towards the existing cinema fraternity for not living up to your expectations or …”. Blank. I realized my mind stopped writing. Maybe it got ‘tired’ of coming up with an idea for an article. It happens when you try too hard. “Those are key words that you require when you write a blog”, the voice of my mind echoes in my head.

“So are you alive? I thought you were…”

“Depressed? Is that the only state I love to be in?”

“Well, no I was just…”

“Well, if you think of it that is one keyword that I missed in my speech there. Just edit it in, will you!”

Or maybe, I can rant about how I am trying to get a short film on the floor and how it isn’t easy to get finances for a short in our country. People go at great lengths to spend crores on a 60 sec film that promotes footwear (without actually showing the footwear; except the name flashes in the end) or a film that makes your teeth glow. Lots of money, lots of technicians, lots of film, lots of everything – not to mention, lots of awards. I just want a little of the ‘lots’ and I would be happy with life. Speaking of short films, the other day (a month ago) I read about a production house signing in different directors to make a series of short films on Mumbai. These directors were no strangers to the film world – each esteemed, respected and highly reputable in their works. I’m sure many look up to them in some way or the other. I was happy to read that short films are being seen in a ‘novel’ way (So what if “Paris Je’taime” set the trend) And then the other day, I was sitting in a café with a friend, when we heard someone talking about the aforementioned ‘film deal’. We strained our ears to catch what they were saying – “Only one director (won’t disclose name) managed to complete the entire short well within the budget and well within the time limit stipulated. The others have overshot the budget by a mile and are still lagging behind”. Both me and my friend, retreated back to our chair, saddened by the ‘over flow of finances’. It reminded me of a good friend, who had expressed his desire to shoot a short film. Slightly ‘run of the mill’ concept, but written with 100% genuine love. He managed to work around his work schedule, stayed up all night storyboarding (after insistence by his friends and cameraman) and juggling conflicting ‘star’ date schedules. The only hitch in this whole thing was he didn’t have any finances. The body of the car was developed, only the engine was missing. “We need the finance, not the established talents”, my friend told me. I just nodded in affirmation.

“A perfect article, my comrade!” my mind suddenly whispered in my ear. I read the paragraph again. “You have to sell your soul to tell the truth”, the mind assured me. I sighed.

Fin.

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