A Simple Test For The Argumentative Indian

Ramu Ramanathan
Ramu Ramanathan   | Exclusive, Movies, Murmurings from Mumbai | August 28, 2007 at 10:29 am


Greetings PFCites.

If you’re prone to uttering things like Civil Liberty, Freedom of Expression and Constitutional Right then you must take the following test.

To begin at the beginning, we celebrate 60 years of Independence by ruminating …

- The Rupee is on a new high vis a vis the US Dollar. So the Rupee calls the Dollar; and enquires, Are you peeved? Will you Nuke me?
- Speaking of being Nuked, the Iraqis were expected to rebuild their country in record time; and create a New Constitution (inclusive of wherefore, whereas and nevertheless). So they did the honourable thing. They used the un-used American Constitution
- UK had a high voter turnout of 95% for their local elections. The 5% who didnt vote were rich, wealthy Indians who are settled in the UK
- Schools and colleges will motivate students to set their mind free; although it is the one thing the brain police will not let students do

One book J K Rowling will not write?

- Harry Potter: Poverty & AIDS in the Third World
- Harry Potter: The Year Voldermort Did Not Try To Kill Him.
- How I Made My First Billion. And Invested It Like A Muggle
- Harry Potter Implements The Srikrishna Committee Report

What has been India’s post colonial response to Shakespeare?

- Kalidasa
- Raja Ravi Verma
- Shilpa Shetty
- But Sheikh Speare is Indian? Basically a balladeer from Chandni Chowk, nah?

Works which were banned in the USA in the fifties-sixties?

- Aristophanes’ Lysistrata
- Eros magazine
- Allen Ginsberg’s Howl & Other Poems
- Swedish film: I Am Curious – Yellow

Works which are banned in Maharashtra?

- Bertolt Brecht’s Resistible Rise of Arturo Ui was verbally banned because Ui (the sleazy politcian gangster) bore a resemblance to you know who
- A documentary about post-Kutch Earthquake situation in Gujarat (Chords on the Richter Scale) got banned by the the Censor Board
- R V Bhasin’s book Islam – A Political Concept of World Invasion by Muslims being counter-balanced by a ban on Shivaji, by Professor Jayant Lele; and Shivaji: Hindu King in Islamic India; The Epic of Shivaji by James Laine
- Cyber Cafes, Rave Parties and Tamasha

What is Aboojhmadh?

- Something you holler when there’s a riot after a game between Mohun Bagan and East Bengal
- The next film by Rajnikant in which he will count upto infinity, twice
- A cry of anguish, everytime, M F Hussain, is targetted
- A future Maoist state which includes inaccessible terrain in MP, AP, Orissa, Ghadchiroli and Chandrapur

Please list in chronological sequence

- The arrests of Binayak Sen in Chhattisgarh and Arun Ferreira in Maharashtra
- 91 activists being jailed at Indore and Badwani
- Chandramohan, a Fine Arts student of M S University’s (MSU) being charged under section 295 A and 153 B of IPC in Vadodra
- Munnabhai and his Partner is arrested!!!

Which movements have been blessed by the State?

- From Sadir to Bharat Natyam
- From Devadasis to Brahmins
- From Test Cricket to 20/20
- Evolution of Television: From religion in the morning to sleaze in the evening

RR (appeared in HT Cafe on 21st August, Mumbai Edition)

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5 Comments

  1. Krysh Dhieraj krysh says:

    Ramu,i flunk the test!

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  2. Parakh Chouhan Parakh Chouhan says:

    Dude

    thtz smply gr8

    an intellignt yet subtl piece

    m nt argumentativ at all

    nw

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  3. wb wb says:

    no argument sirjee. you win; hands down!

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  4. Vinay Shukla Vinay Shukla says:

    Subtle humour. The kind I respect. thanx

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