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There was a time when Basti sagas were the mainstay of Bollywood. A multicultural boilpot of ethnic stereotypes would come under large scale oppression only for a hero to rise and challenge the bulldozers single handedly or in tandem with a colorful ensemble in the name of livelihood, dignity and a prime piece of real estate. The early version of Amitabh’s angry young man persona was forged in the basti and as time went on and the urban landscape began to head upwards, the basti genre was subjected to revisionism resulting in Amol Palekar-Farooq Shaikh slice of life. Once the 80s hit, Hindi films for the lack of imagination tried to mine the most of the 70s angst, scrapping rock bottom and bordering on kitsch and the basti saga was wrung dry and inevitably slipped into B and C grade territory. At around the same time a new urban hero emerged under the lens of Vidhu Vinod Chopra, Rajiv Rai and Subhash Ghai. Amitabh’s basti boy began to suave up wandering the urban landscape as Shehenshah and Vijay Dinanath Chauhan. The Basti genre began to be the concern for the likes of B-grade masters like Joginder who came up with the infamous rape-revenge sexploitation by the name of ‘Badmashon Ki Basti’. But every once in a while, there still crops up a film that shows how the Basti genre mechanics have embedded themselves in Bollywood fundamentals. The most unabashed basti saga in recent memory would seem to be the neglected and under-rated ‘Praan Jaaye Par Shaan Naa Jaaye’ directed by Sanjay Jha, a glorious free-wheeling vulgar spectacle. ‘Lagaan’ was fashioned as a Basti flick. ‘Khosla Ka Ghosla’ gives the basti turn into a ‘middle-class family and friends’ plot and came up aces. In its way the basti saga is the Bollywood parallel of the Hollywood westerns. Not just plot mechanics, the trajectory they took seem the same- the western, the revisionist western, the B-graders. But the westerns went one step ahead by inspiring the gangster film- check Reservoir Dogs, Last Man Standing, Assault on Precinct 13 while somehow it seems Bollywood failed in that attempt. ‘Hum’ is a notable entry but unfortunately doesn’t fill all the slots as the second half plays out like any Rajiv Rai revenge action flick.

Now how the hell did I just drift onto all of this?

The trailers of Bow Barracks Forever! Crisp, with punch, funk and verve, giving out vibes of ‘Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels’ married to the basti saga. ‘Lay off our home’ screamed the punchline. Damn was I excited! Director Anjan Dutt was all over the news weeklies declaring his film as an unpretentious paean to the spirit of ‘Bow Barracks’, a heritage building in teeming Kolkatta in danger of being wiped out of the face of the city. Noble intentions, high ambitions, a thesp cast and a funky-as-hell trailer. Inspite of the fact that I had once endured the chore that was ‘Bada Din’, Dutt’s debut, I chose to believe in the fundamental goodness of the film.

First day-first show, I got my tickets and did my duty cursing everyone who left the auditorium looking like a ghost basti while piling up for ‘Partner’. Five minutes into ‘Bow Barracks Forever!’ and the pain of ‘Bada Din’ came back to haunt.

What I cannot figure out is Dutt’s affiliation for the D’Costa-D’Souza-Lobo-Fernandes-whatmen-youbugga stereotype. Anybody go has trudged through ‘Bada Din’will remember Shabana Azmi’s deranged dowager turn was her worst ever and Bow Barracks is lined start-to-end with what seems like the dowager’s bastard children. Okay so whatmen’ and ‘heybugga’ is something one can get used to and if the movie moves ahead with a sense of purpose I can forgive the speech impediments. I’ve got through Arnold Schwarzenegger movies, I can get through this. I shrug of the annoying slang but then the bad acting starts to get to me. It is not only that the extras are about as expressive as cutlery; the movie suffers from the awful malaise of the unattended thespian. Victor Banerjee is on complete over-drive, trying to pull right across cross-country all over the UK in search for an accent. There’s an Irish on Scottish on Welsh on Queen’s English and then there’s Bengali. It’s the stuff that could make Tom Alter faint and wake up reeling with amnesia. Sabyasachi Chakravarthy wants to be Jean-Paul Belomondo and ends up as Mohan Agashe on a bad day (check AgniVarsha). As for the arthouse staple of Lillette-Neha Dubey, I’ve personally had it up to here with them. Can’t really blame the actors given the gem of a dialogue they are required to drone out- ‘You’re not a soldier, you’re a guitar player and that’s what you should be.’ Way deep, no men?

One embarrassing scene is right on the heels of the other. It’s a bad taste assault! You get a gross-out close up of the facial expression of an underage male as he orgasms. Then there’s a rooftop song sequence that plays straight out of ETV gujurati’s private album videos. Only the kites are missing. And most squirmy scene of all goes to the great Usha Uthup cameo which is preceeded by the second most squirmy scene of all when Victor Banerjee exults like an amateur Play TV VJ when he hears ‘Usha is coming’. The mantle of the year’s most embarrassing cameo now rests with Ms. Uthup who takes it up from Amar Singh in ‘Apne’.

As for the titular Bow Barracks, if you look beyond the shame of it all you’ll see the nostalgia cracked red walls languishing amidst the insipid circus that plays among in its bows. Hell, Guddu Dhanoa could get more emotion from paper mache than Dutt does with the antiquated and quietly majestic structure.

Just a few days back I was pondering on the disappearance of the urban Indian independent cinema- the breezy stuff like Hyderabad Blues and Bombay Boys and Snip. I was wondering what happened to it all and how come it died down. Bow Barracks Forever! thuds like a nail into its coffin.

I came out the auditorium feeling not a little sad for the great basti saga, for my dreams and theories, for breezy independent cinema, for Bow Barracks but most of all what I felt was… remember the paranoia of mosquitoes that one gets when one has to spend a night in a room which the hosts have opened after around five years so you could lie in… the constant buzzing sound that keeps coming at you like its playing in your conscience and by early morning develops into a migraine… that was what I felt.

The last time I felt like that was when I watched Pyaare Mohan.