CC2C : Triple fried Szechwan Rice with Sarso ka saag
iView Author: Ashu Bhai MAPRM waale (Bombay, India)
Email: ashish.purple[at]gmail.com
CC2C : Triple fried Szechwan Rice with Sarso ka saag !!
Disclaimer: ” What you read further is a piece of my observations while watching CC2C, any reference to anyone living, dead or waiting to die after watching Yuvvraaj, is purely coincidental. I am hyper excited about my debut post on the platform that I so much admire. So that’s the raison-de-etre of this post. Damn, I wish I could get some copywriter to write this!!!”
So here it is, not-just-a-review of the movie which I had seen on Saturday – Confusion Conclusion to Confusion (CC2C). And when I finally got out of the theatre, I had changed my confusion…oops decision that I can not write a post reviewing CC2C…cos it’s a movie beyond reviews… it’s a cult classic that will be spoken about at underground trashy film communities.
There are so many things which makes this movie a “movie ahead of its times”. Just writing some points to describe how CC2C is a movie beyond times –
1. First time in the history, as actor (akki) himself claimed that the movie lacks sense (Remember he invited Big B for the US screening and warned him not to bring his brain for the screening)
2. A kick equally powerful to the NASA spaceship launcher which is never used before (Courtesy – The Man, The Legend, Mithun Da)
3. Before you scratch your a**…sorry brain, the movie takes a huuuugeeee turn (even ekkkkta kkkapoor is reconsidering her soaps after watching CC2C)
4. Use of Hi-Tech gadgets which can teach you dancing (never been used even in Hollywood, it teaches you disco-and-bhangra-and-kathakali-and-kuchipudi-and-manipuri-and-bhelpuri.
5. Use of a Universal Translator (Not even used by 007) which help you translates any language in your mother language. Not only this, it made the chinese, sing a tooooooo old Indian ad jingle…just like that.
6. Use of umbrella-cum-bulletproof umbrella-cum-parachute-cum-hi tech gadget makes it more legendry.
7. A manufacturing plant of TSM (Don’t ask me WTF the TSM stand for) which doesn’t look like a manufacturing unit from any angle. Nikhil Advani has taken utmost care, so that even if somebody is trying to steal a formulae, he will be confused if he is in a manufacturing unit or a chemistry lab.
8. A potato God (Hell, its true) which is never used before. Not even in Jai Santoshi Maa, My Friend Ganesha and Hanumaan.
9. The toothless story takes a huuugee turn (See I told you na) and starts competition with all 007 movies and all Bruce lee, Jet li, choos li, moolee, mamolee Chinese movies including kung-fu hustle and shaolin soccer (mithun da kicks to akki were more powerful shots than shaolin soccer).
10. Cosmic kung-fu which has an impact only on the enemies…no family members and friends are even touched.
11. The magic hat of crime master gogo…oops hojo, which is unaffected by the strong cross wind blew by Akki with some telepathetic help from a long lost father-inspector-turn begger-turn inspector-turn father-turn kung-fu teacher. Phewwwww.
12. Of all the kung-fu, aak-thu and just-ju training from the Chinese hakka noodle dad, finally what help the hero kill the evil were parathas, aloo ki bori and belan.
13. Use of a special potato prepared in a Chinese laboratory, which remains as it is even after 6 months.
14. The best part of the movie was “Intermission”. Ideally the best part should be “The End”..but hai re footi kismet, the movie doesn’t have an end….probably first time ever, a director has decided a sequel with a title in the end of the movie itself. “Chandni Chowk to Africa”…so gear up guys…another legendary movie is awaiting you.
15. And the saddest part of the entire review…..Akshay Kumar himself warned “keep your brains while going to the theatre”…kaash maine uski baat maan li hoti.
Effect of the movie on Film industry
1. Tashan declared a Super-hit and Jhoom Barabar Jhoom and Kabhi Alvida na kehna legends.
2. Salman has filed a case against the same, as he wanted “Yuvraj” should be awarded atleast a Hit.
3. Sanjay Leela Bhansali and RGV are planning a remake of Sawariya and Aag respectively
4. Now all you folks reading this post, observe a 2 minute silence in fond memory of CC2C, cos by the time you complete reading this, you wont (hopfully) be able to find it “At a theatre near you”.
Sab bakwaas hai… PACK UP!
Tags: akshay kumar, Amitabh Bachchan, CC2C, Nikhil Advani, rgv, Sanjay Leela Bhansali, Yuvraj
Anurag Kashyap
Abhay Deol
Dibakar Banerjee
Hansal Mehta
Khalid Mohamed
Kundan Shah
Anish Kuruvilla
Jaideep Verma
Manish Gupta
Navdeep Singh
Bhavani Iyer
D. Santosh
Onir
Ashvin Kumar
Ramu Ramanathan
Sudhir Mishra
Pankaj Advani
Revathy
Saurabh Shukla
Shilpa Shukla
Sujoy Ghosh
Suparn Verma
Santosh Sivan
Shashank Ghosh
Shivajee
Pavan Kaul
Partho Sen-Gupta
Prroshant Naryannan
Sam Langoria
Satish Kasetty
yeh to hona hi tha… ashu, whatte debut… very happy for u… very funny yaar. mazaa aa gaya saala… rock on!
Ashu Bhai, MAPRM, welcome to PFC, aapke baare mein suna tha, apna Jaado Bhai se.
Great, rocking revu, yaar,much better than that movie.
Had to watch couple of Jackie Chan flicks to shake off the after effects of movie.
I believe Shekar Suman had said, that Jan 16th is the black day for Bollywood, coz CC2C was released then. Just beats me how Akki, Nikhil Advani, Sridhar Raghavan and Warner Bros, cud all go wrong at the same time. Koi Kosmic formula hai kya?
@Magik – Its all because of you man…u deserve every credit for this debut
zabardasti ka humility kahe ko mere bhai… u rawk either ways! hope to see u more often on PFC.
Here’s an incident that sums up an ‘experience’ called CC2C:
A lady in my neighbourhood took her 8-yr old kid to CC2C and when they got home, she asked him, “Beta, what did you learn from the movie?”
His answer: “That we should chop onions nicely.”
@ Mohanlal: whatte lesson learnt! kuchh to seekha.
@ RS- Thanks a lot dude…and i was expecting this from you. Most of the time its you the first one to read the post and comment on it. A true filmi i always admired
Yups, shekhar suman has rated 16th Jan as the black day in the history of cinema…as per him, the cinema died on this day and his words are -’Akshay owes India an apology’.
And thts not sufficient. He is more concerned about the 400 rs which he has spent on the film.
I believe all akki fans are demanding the refund with or without kosmic formula.
@ RS: bro, i guess the kosmik formula failed this time. i think it was the overkill… mohan desai skuared or kubed… 2 much of everything made cc2c the disaster it has bekome…
@ Mohanlal – very well said…atleast uske ticket ke paise to vasool hue
ab sawal yeh hai ki does CC2C ( i have ephitet which will be troll capped here) qualify for IT IS SO BAD IT IS GOOD category ?
@ KK: Insha Allah, it has all the trappings & more. Saala mithun da bhi hai… LOL.
the quality of humor in the post is as bad as CC2C.
@ probeer: someone who survived the atrocity named cc2c has this liberty atleast right? take light yaar…
@Karthik: The worst kind of film is a bad comedy. You can laugh at a bad drama, but a bad comedy can only give you a migraine. Trust me, steer clear.
@Ashu…
Good Debut, just like Nikhil Advani’s :-)
I am sure, you wont go his way
very nice post.
Funny stuff. Ab toh lagta hain, I will have to watch CC2C. If the movie becomes hit, you will know who is to be blamed :-) I hope I will enjoy as much as Gunmaster “Suraksha” G9.
.
Shekhar bhaiyya ko bolo unka suputra bhi aa raha hain 23rd Janvari ko. Yeh Raaz ab raaz kaha! Tab kaunsa colour istemaal karenge woh.
Cracking post dude.Had fun while reading it.Hope to see more of you.
Cheers
Neeraj
yaar ashu, we shud force nikhil advani n co. to read this article…, coz i bliev in the funda of ‘an eye for an eye’. hehehe.., jst kiddin. nice, funny article.
good film.
what took you to the cinema hall-nikhil advani,akshay, deepika,SHL,the title??you thought you were going to witness landmark cross-over cinema?give me one good reason…its guys like you who encourage insanity in Indian cinema and you blame them for making such films or you just watch them so that you can write crazy things about them??which one is it??
stop watching them,they will stop making them…
P.S.-if you just went to the hall to fool around with your girl friend(who didn’t let u and you had to see the movie),then i take all my words back
i would’ve never watched this movie except that now i’ve read this review… now i want to watch it.. i want to see just how bad a movie can get!! :D
@tushar: WTF??? On second thoughts, to each his own….
@ahmad raza: filmy buffs like us live in eternal hope of watching something good even by chance. Its a risk worth it if ure crazy enough. And hell, closing ure eyes doesn’t make the world a better place my friend. The fact remains that bad films are being made whether u like it or not. I personally don’t care if they r hits or not as long as the good ones get their dues. Ab theatre mein lagi hai to log dekhenge hi na. We can’t stop ppl from watching. All we can do is review a film and give our opinions.
This post has saved so many from the torture. One must die so that others may live lol.
Great post Anshu bhai….it seems to me that if u had written the script then it would have been a much funnier movie.
I am a die hard fan of Akki, though. He has his trademark energy in even the worst of films. Even Mithun-da was fantastic. As my mentor at film school used to say ‘Its just that there is a lack of competent directors in this country…’ Moreover, Warner Bros. giving a green light to such a project proves that they are just as dumb-witted as their Indian counterparts.
Grow up Mr. Indian Director! Seriously, its about time u did.
@judgegag, I have written more WTF stuff in my review. Find it if you can. :-)
@ SKS, Mitesh, Vishesh, Neeraj, Animature, Dhara, Judgegag – thanks a lot for your appriciation for my debut post.
@Judgegag – I totally agree to you. Even i am a die hard akki fan…infact he was the sole reason for me watching tht disaster…but when its we who are making him a star, we deserve some good bytes from him…not a terrible experience like Confusion, Contradiction to Conclusion.
@ Vishesh – I came to know that Suman Bhaiya has already started celebrating (may or may not be) a successful Raaz – II and gifted his son a BMW on his B’day. Gawd knows if he will be able to get some money to fill the petrol tank.
yaar aise to cc2c blockbuster ho jaayegi…
@ Magik – Aisa nahin hoga…multiplexes has already stared pulling out the number of shows. I am more worried about the Akki and Aamir khan’s plan to isolate SRK. Seems SRK has the last laugh.
Now Akshay wud be regreting the award which he has refused to accept for Singh is Kingg in an award function.
@ ashu: LOL. SRK rules.
Jaado Bhai, CC2C is a blockbuster, it has busted the distributors and exhibitors in every block.
@ RS – what a komment sir ji…very well said !!
@ Rs: LOL. cant say more. u sealed it!
I haven’t watched this potential cult-classic (so bad, it is good). Though, I’m little worried reading about 3-movie deal with Warner Bandhu log and apne Advani saab..what else is in store for us?
Great debut man keep it up
@ Vick – One movie i know for sure – Chandni Chowk to Africa. Probably they will move to zambia, tanzania and kenya next.
So wait for some jhinga-lala stunts in the coming movies.
@Cinemausher – Thanks !
hillarious post. @ ashu, this is like a dream debut… wish to read more from you here.
@ Yogi – Thanks buddy…i will try to be much better next time.
How do you post a review on project Iview. I also have posted a review on it on the blog. Want to post it here.
@ DM – mail your article to “passionforcinema[at]gmail[dot]com”
you can find more details on http://passionforcinema.com/about/#write
Cheers !!
@Tushar : Dude i don’t need to read ure review….u gave Drona 3.5/5…..now THATS saying something!!! Is there any movie u DON’T like???
@Ashu : sorry I spelled ure name incorrectly yaar…..and yes, it has been a long time since i liked an Akki movie, but as i said, you really can’t hold it against him. We need good directors first na. As far as the actor’s job is concerned, Akki always does well, I think.
ya dude. welcome to my world. there is a ‘get the hell out of here’ board at the door. I hated a wednesday, chak de india, metro, if that is what you are looking for.
@tushar: wow, we can be friends after all!!! lets meet up na, i’ll show u my Cosmic kung-fu style lol
@ Judgegag – Its okey man…as sheksphear said “whats in the name”. thats a different story he has written his name below this line (wink).
One thing i hate is the way some people in the industry, are taking advantage of CC2C’s debacle, and indulging in cheap mudslinging at Akshay. Come on yaar, movie industry mein every has their good and bad movies. Even Spielberg gave some big time duds in his career. People seem to have forgotten that Akki has been delivering hits quite consistently till CC2C.
Also unlike other self proclaimed “Kings” Akki has been a person, modest and down to earth, not taking cheap pot shots at any one.
yeh kya ho raha hai? dil pe mat le yaar!
@ RS – I agree but as far as i feel, the post was not about Akki’s presence in the movie. It was about the kind of disaster the movie came out.
Akki is a self proclaimed king, down to earth and not taking any cheap pot shots at any one, probably that is the reason why this was not expected from him. But i repeat again that I agree to you that it cannot be akki’s fault alone. But being the lead of the movie, he is a soft target.
@ ashu – Hope nikhil reads your post and take care of this in Chandni chowk to africa, zambia, tanzania and kenya. Lol
@ ashu
just FYI, zambia, tanzania n kenya r all in africa itself.
n BTW, its nt ‘animature’, its ‘the ANIMATAUR’. learn to respect the demon ;)
@ Animataur – Sawry dude..dil pe mat le yaar !!
The movie is really unbearable. I walked out in the interval. I don’t know what Nikhil Advani was thinking while making this. How could he underestimate the viewer so much? The humour is Z-class and the script is written after consuming some chinese ‘daru’. I felt very sorry for Akshay and Deepika. Deepika looks very good and does a fab job. Akshay also has put in a lot of hard work but the film is complete garbage. Shahrukh campers and his media allies must be having a hearty laugh. Stories about the film being a disaster, being worst film of the decade, Akshay’s career being in danger, him not being the ‘king’etc have started doing the rounds in the media. This time Akshay has made their job a lot more easier. I hope, he bounces back with some good film.