Contract : An interview with GGV
Print
After years have we seen such a smashing, wonderful, gripping, movie to grace the silver screen. Guru Ghantal Varma (aka GGV) the director has definitely redeemed himself after such beautiful but badly rejected films like GGV ki Aag, NoShabd and Bekar Raj.
After finishing the 90 odd minutes of Contract on a DVD, oztrac walks out for a breather. And VOILA! Across the street is the great Guru Ghantal Varma in beach shorts and ganji (no not a bald woman, but a vest), walking in surf sandals, gracing the streets of Newport Beach, Orange County with Bimbo and BiggerBimbo on his either side, whom one may guess have been offered GGV’s next projects – Thook and Chikoo Raj. Unfortunately his proposed project GGV ki Paani has been temporarily shelved.
ozTrac is a bit apprehensive approaching GGV, knowing his slap and walk away kind of conversations he generally has with the general public in a general place on his not so general blog (a general example)
Nervously ozTrac approaches GGV
ozTrac: Namaste Sir. Hope I’m not disturbing you. But I’m a big fan of your work and wanted to say hello.
GGV: Get lost. Fuck off. When GGV need alone time, only Bimbo get GGV time.
ozTrac: Thank you Sir. That I will Sir. But before I go, let me congratulate you on your latest Contract. Whaaat a moooovie Sar whaaat a Movie.
GGV: Get lost. Fuck off. I bring no one close to me. Those coming close get big bamboo in their pichwada (Hinglish: Behind-wada, a place in Mumbai)
ozTrac: That I will Sir. Thank you Sir. But what a movie this Contract Saar. Whaat a movie. Even Doordarshan could never produce a play that had so much going into so little. This waaas your bestest movie Saar. How do you do it each time every time?
GGV: Get lost fuck off. GGV makes time. Time does not make GGV.
ozTrac: Thank you Saar. I will Saar. Just wanted to tell you how I enjoyed your hero becoming superman and killing everyone in 52.5 seconds flat. But people are questioning that scene Saar? Your comments…
GGV: Get lost. Fuck off. What GGV wants (looks at the breasts of Bimbo, slurps)… GGV gets.
ozTrac: So true Saar. So true. How you making human speak in the language of Martians and making it so believable, it is truly amazing Sir. Characters in your films are no longer characters… they are DDG… dialogue demi gods. Yet so many people did not like it, which I cannot understand Saar.
GGV: Get lost. Fuck off. GGV gets what GGV like (buries face in BiggerBimbo’s assets). People don’t like my movie… they should get lost, fuck off.
ozTrac: Such great dialogues coming from your mouth making my eyes going water water Saar. So much water flowing down and yet this zaalim(Hinglish: watch any Bollywood movie that has a character called “thakur”, “Zamindaar”) duniya think you are blowing producers’ money by making crap. Can you believe this Saar… they calling Contract Crap.
GGV: Get lost. Fuck off. GGV behind is pumped with money from producers’ pump. Let all crap people find such behind, such pump and attempt to make movie. Then GGV will review their crap.
ozTrac. So True Saar So True. And so well said. Years ago even I had asked similar question to the respectable Shakti Kapoor on why after getting chance after chance after chance he never was able to rape the heroine in the movies. Bullshit! Then the respectable Mr. Shakti Kapoor too had snapped back at me and challenged me to act in movie and try raping heroine. The two incidents are so similar O great GGV… thank you for opening my eyes.
GGV: Get lost Fuck off. GGV rapes what GGV likes. If GGV doesn’t like, GGV gets raped.
ozTrac: So true Saar So true. Before I leave, would you like me to assist you in showing Ms. Bimbo around Newport Beach? This area my area I know very well.
GGV: Get lost
ozTrac: Thank you Saar… how about Ms. BiggerBimbo?
GGV: Fuck off.
Tags: Contract, Humor, Ram Gopal Verma
Anurag Kashyap
Abhay Deol
Dibakar Banerjee
Hansal Mehta
Khalid Mohamed
Kundan Shah
Anish Kuruvilla
Jaideep Verma
Manish Gupta
Navdeep Singh
Bhavani Iyer
D. Santosh
Onir
Ashvin Kumar
Ramu Ramanathan
Sudhir Mishra
Pankaj Advani
Revathy
Saurabh Shukla
Shilpa Shukla
Sujoy Ghosh
Suparn Verma
Santosh Sivan
Shashank Ghosh
Shivajee
Pavan Kaul
Partho Sen-Gupta
Prroshant Naryannan
Sam Langoria
Satish Kasetty
Isn’t the movie’s name ‘Cataract’?
loading...
Woooow, bhaaat and interview siiir, grat sirji simply mindblowing!
LOL, seriously though, that was some downright funny shit!
loading...
Awesome…lovely..superb…thats it !! You said it right dude…
Like your blog, especially your writing which seems to come directly from the pit of frustration: impromptu. awesome.
Ashu
loading...
wat an article saaar…lol
these reviews are more entertaining than rgv oopr ggv’s movies itself….
waiting for ur take on phoonk
loading...
Why u should never ask RGV about his favs..
http://www.dnaindia.com/report.asp?newsid=1178673
loading...
awesome !!!
errrr…wat would happen when sirjee betelal meet GGV ?
loading...
Oz..man you rock!!
BTW..Contract was not so bad..but it was not the Satya, Company kinds..it was more like a stylish Wardat or Avinash!!!!
Also, he, RGV, is a bit “sanki” these days..what to do!! All highly creative auteurs are that way..it seems!
So writes Anuvab Pal, sriptwriter of Loins of Punjab here
http://www.tehelka.com/story_main39.asp?filename=hub210608thecharulata.asp
loading...
By this time, we all know how bad movie contract is.I am sure PFC is going to get flooded with reviews.Evevryone will use their pen to write the same thing.
RGV is falling, in fact dying.Let him die. There is no more a curiosity for RGV movie releases.There was a time, when his touch was visible in even flops like Mast, Daud and Kaun. Now movie after movie, we r missing that touch, so a good time to believe that he is either dead or dying fast.
By the way Oz, u tried hard but could not be funny. May be too pissed off(by Contract) to keep ur sense of humor intact.
loading...
ha ha
loading...
thanx Indrneel for the link, a very well written thought.
loading...
Bad film. One of RGV’s worst.
What did I think about the post…venom is spilt in the disguise of a humorous post. Shame on you Oz.
loading...
Did the film merit a post?
loading...
oz,
loved the post,I wish to write a letter to RGV on this platform,hopefully soon,I love RGV,he surprassed Sanjay Gupta n Mahesh Bhatt winning the INFERNAL AFFAIRS/DEPARTED race,scenes frm MI3,DON,COLLATERAL DAMAGE,DONNY BRASCO,TALENTED MR RIPLEY,LUCKY NUMBER SLEVIN,SATYA,COMPANY,SARKAAR,MERI AWAAZ SUNO r brilliant
loading...
jokes apart, i found out the reason for why rgv is losing it.
alcohol.
that explains everything.
seriously, anyone who is getting more and more dependent on alcohol just keeps losing it by the day.
why so much dependence on alcohol? his personal problem which is not my space.
i even think he was drunk on this show on ndtv – you can watch it here http://www.ndtv.com/convergence/ndtv/videopod/default.aspx?id=34485
just look at his eyes, theyre drunk. he’s impatient, etc
loading...
A complete one-time reaction to all his thots, attitude and reactions!
loading...