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Pankaj Advani
Pankaj Advani   | Bakchodi, Editors, Exclusive | June 3, 2009 at 2:07 pm


Sankat City : Guru v/s Mona(NOTES ON WRITING SANKAT CITY)

Long ago, a Shanghai Night. It was late, the joint was nearly empty. I doodled on a paper napkin -

INT. BIRJU’S KHOLI – MUMBAI – DAY

Birju tears open the telegram. “Dadaji serious Stop Come home soon Stop”

A worried Birju removes the cover of his cannon, quickly changes into HAWABAAN HERO costume, lights the fuse and slips into the nozzle.

Loud explosion. Thick cloud of black smoke. Hawabaan Hero flies out, his hands outstretched.

INT. HOSPITAL ROOM – RAMGADH – DAY

He barrels through the roof into the room.

A doctor and a nurse are standing next to the cot, on which lies an old man, lifeless. Hawabaan Hero gets up from the floor, dusts the soot off his costume and springs to the cot.

- “What are you writing?”

I looked up. It was the Monk with withered wings.

He read my pages and smirked.

“Ah, desi superhero script. How unoriginal!”

“Why, my superhero is different, he wears his underwear under his tights.”

“My expectations from you were much higher.”

Sankat City : Ganpat and GuruI heaved a cold sigh, “I seem to have run out of juice.”

“I’ve something that will inspire you”, so saying, he unzipped his trousers, stuck his hand inside and slipped out his telescope, “here, its all yours”.

“Ahem… er… I’ve a telescope of my own.”

“But mine is bigger, thicker and more powerful. Take it, point it at the world and leech off life itself. Happy writing.”

I accepted his gift, went back to my crummy apartment and set it up at the only window which looked out into the city.

And I got hooked. I used to sit for hours on a stool, looking through the telescope, pointing it at buildings, slums, bazaars, studios, clubs, gyms, brothels, streets; peeping into the lives of people, observing them.

I saw a guy whose kholi was full of fishtanks, on one of the walls, hung a calendar with a mermaid on it, with whom he would talk all day long. There were lots of vehicle license plates piled up in his room. He was my inspiration for GURU, the bumbling neurotic car thief in Sankat City.

Sankat City : Partners in CrimeI once saw a Mercedes dropping a ravishing, well-dressed woman outside a swank apartment building. She blew a flying kiss to the owner of the car and made her way to the gate. The moment he was gone, she made a quick about-turn, crossed the road and headed into the slums opposite the building. She became MONA, the no-nonsense, street-smart con-woman.

Sankat City: Fillip Fattu and GulbadanI saw a man in chauffeur’s uniform get down from a bus and trudge to his tenement. He was about to knock at the door when he froze, having obviously heard something inside. He stepped back and waited, patiently. Few minutes later the door opened. A sweaty man came out, adjusting his belt and walked away. The chauffeur was greeted by a woman who was buttoning her blouse. They became FILLIP FATTU and his girlfriend GULBADAN.

Sankat City : Gogi Arts International OfficeI saw an old rundown theatre in a seedy part of town being razed to ground. Watching from the window of dilapidated house opposite, was a fat man in all white, sucking a ‘gola’, tears streaming down his eyes. Behind him stood a lean man with ‘bhabhuti’ on his forehead and fountain pens sticking out of his pocket. The signboard above the window announced ‘Khurana Arts International’. This was the starting point for GOGI KUKREJA and LINGAM.

Sankat City : Sikandar KhanI saw lightning strike a flop star the moment he cut the ribbon for the inauguration of a retail outlet. He burst into flames and disintegrated in the blink of an eye, leaving behind a pair of smoking shoes and a faint idea of what SIKANDAR KHAN should be like.

I once trained the telescope at a sleazy neon-lit nightclub. Going by the clientele waiting outside, it looked more like a pick up joint.Sankat City : Faujdaar All windows were darkened, except for one on the upper floor, where stood a bald rustic-looking man, proprietor written all over him, surveying the city just like me, but through the telescopic sight of an automatic rifle. He panned past me, did a double take, then whipped back to me. He looked at me looking at him looking at me. His lips moved, “Madar…”. I ducked from the window and switched off the light. This is how FAUJDAAR came about.

Sankat City : Pachisia with MonaAnd then came GANPAT the mechanic, PACHISIA the builder, SULEMAN SUPARI the hitman, LOVELY the henchman, JOHNNY, AGARWAL, SHESHAIYYA, SWAMIJI, HARNAAM SINGH – loveable rogues, rats and cockroaches scurrying for loose change and trying to sniff their way out of holes they’ve dug for themselves.

Sankat City : DYNAMITEOne day I turned the telescope towards a fancy house standing atop a hill. The windows were wide open. I saw a voluptuous woman perform an incredibly sexy pole-dance for MOGAMBO, whose lips were going ‘khush hua, khush hua’. The dance over, she drew the curtains blocking my view.

Next day I pointed the telescope again at the house on the hill. This time the woman was doing an insanely erotic lapdance for SHAKAAL, who was seated on a revolving chair placed on a revolving platform over a shark pit, his lips going ‘yamma yamma’. As soon as she was through with Shakaal, she drew the window curtains. KLPD!

Sankat City : MORE DYNAMITE!The third day, she performed an electrifying cabaret for LOIN. The performance ended and the curtains were drawn yet again.

The lady from the house on the hill had me eating out of her hands, I had become addicted. On the fourth day, just as I put my eye on the telescope, the doorbell rang. Outside, stood a Pehelwan holding a sheaf of tickets. “Wanna buy one,” he asked. On cue, my phone rang.

It was a husky female voice at the other end. “I’m Dynamite. Hope you liked my shows. No more freebies. If you want to continue watching, you must buy a ticket.”

The phone got cut. I rushed to the door, Pehelwan had disappeared. All day long I kept peeping through the telescope at the house on the hill, but the window curtains remained drawn. Sankat City : Dr. Dang's DYNAMITE danceThe next day wasn’t any different, so also the day after that. I was going crazy, I couldn’t work, lost my appetite, couldn’t sleep, I desperately needed a fix.

Needless to say, when Pehelwan visited me again, I bought a ticket, had to pay through my nose. He handed me a notebook, the cover said ‘Request Book’. I opened it. Some of the earlier entries (all in different handwritings) were as follows –

Sankat City : Dr. Dang in full DYNAMITE“I would like to see ‘Dynamite’ pole-dancing for Mogambo.”

“Possible to have Dynamite do a lapdance for Shakaal?”

“I was wondering if Dynamite would perform a cabaret for Loin.”

Pehelwan growled, “Any requests?”

I wrote, “I want to see Dynamite do a Chettinad-style dance with Dr. Dang.”

The show was awesome. That same night fire destroyed the house on the hill. I never saw Dynamite again.

Saying : ‘ A voyeur would rather view than screw.’

Pankaj Advani

Tags: Anupam Kher, Kay Kay Menon, Making, Manoj Pahwa, Rimi Sen, Sankat City, Yashpal Sharma
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27 Comments

  1. Ram V Ram V says:

    Great one…Pankaj…but I think to get a clearer view of Dynamite, binoculars would be more suitable..

    What is absolutely necessary when Dynamite dances?
    Do Ankhen Barah Haath…

    Thanks for this insight into the characters..thoroughly enjoyed reading it…let us wait and see..kiski kaise bajegi…

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  2. mainak mainak says:

    Maza Aa Gaya.
    I’m planning something simmilar. But it will be a audio device. :)

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  3. Nick Nick says:

    hey good post.
    nice intro to the characters

    @mainak so whose gonna be your dynamite.

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  4. oz oz says:

    Mainak is a dynamite in himself, Nick :)

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  5. OM OM says:

    Mainak ki Pillaning chalri, Khamosh!!!

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  6. yayaver yayaver says:

    Wow, u have unique sense of observation.Interesting origin of characters with a style of punching dialouge lines.

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  7. Magik Magik says:

    awesome… each of the charecters deserve a film for themselves. passion ka godown ho sir aap!

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  8. Cinemausher Cinemausher says:

    Much more better and many notch higher than dear Salman Article.

    A detailed insight, thanks for sharing with us.

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  9. Vinay Vinay says:

    Research ke naam se sab seedy joints ghoomneka chaanas! Sahi hai!

    Tis becoz of these inspirations from real life that characters are believable on screen. I guess film characters-their behaviors help understand life experiences and life experiences help understand film characters and their behaviors. Saala itna deep kabhi socha hai nahi. Next time, oopar jo bola, “Saying” me include karneka!

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  10. Nick Nick says:

    @oz I am sure he is :) . But i guess giving audio lap dances will be challenging even for Mainak.

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  11. Manish Manish says:

    After the last letter of pankaj, he appointed scriptlarva as a co-writer who then wrote an article on the relevance of character vs plot after then Pankaj wrote about the charaters from his movie…..karmic connection or strategic PR or mere co-incidence or filmi twist!!! This amalgamation of characters remind me of Hitchcock’s epitaph – “I am on a plot”!!

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  12. ~uh~ ~uh~ says:

    ‘He looked at me looking at him looking at me.’
    That was an excellent 3D Spiral statement. Visually it’s like when you shoot a TV which shows you shooting the TV.
    From the post, looks like Sankat City would get an ‘A’ certification ?
    Saying- When a Voyeur meets an Exhibitionist, its the end of fun.

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  13. yaar pankaj u r an awesome writer. i think u should write a fantasy movie with super heroes and super villains and i am sure u would do great. Also why not a voyeur movie. i think u have the streak. i am very impressed by ur writing style. keep rolling.

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  14. Shatik Shatik says:

    bichare gabbar ne kya achchayi kari thi jo uska no. nahi aa paaya !!!!

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  15. Hmm the wonders of a telescope and the wisdom of the monk – resulting in chaotic characters,wow!
    I’m now watiting to see the mayhem on screen.

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  16. Very inspiring!!
    It was like reading Graphic Novel,
    (This post could turn out to be a crazy comic book)

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  17. Rasik Rasik says:

    oh!the telescope!…coincidentally i just saw “A short film about love” on UTV world movies…

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  18. pankaj advani pankaj advani says:

    @All – responses padhkar ‘hot hair in head’ ho gaya. responses dete raho yaaron, shukriya!

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  19. pankaj advani pankaj advani says:

    hair = air. oops.

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  20. ashu bhai MAPRM wale ashu bhai MAPRM wale says:

    @pankaj – Now thats a post. Have lost myself in the story…looking for some more dope.

    Cheers !!

    ~Ashu Bhai MAPRM Wale

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  21. scriptlarva scriptlarva says:

    @ Pankaj Advani
    Actually I liked the first story better.The one you were writing before you were interrupted by old monk. It had real emotions. Also the power of human spirit which defies all odds for some loved one. It also keeps up with the popular fashion of ’superhero with a weakness’(he cant fly without a cannon). What to do? We missed a desi ‘Dark Knight.’ That oldmonk is misleading you a lot.

    Did you disinfect the telescope he gave you before use? Hope you didnt mistake colonies of bacteria and lice for a human city.

    @ Manish (comment 11)
    Wait till the whole plot unwinds. Then you will realise how all this is intricately related to Obama’s speech in Cairo and the Cyclone in Japan.

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  22. Manish Manish says:

    @ scriptlarva (22) – I was deiberating more on your article than this post over here… Anyways,got the point….

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  23. Sridhar Mayur Sridhar Mayur says:

    Wah! Telescope me bohath DUM hai!

    Waiting to see it on screen without the Telescope ;)

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  24. pankaj advani pankaj advani says:

    @Scriptlarva – it was a toss between the knight and the monk. the latter won.

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  25. Ashu Ashu says:

    Pankaj, your post reminded me of the days when telegrams were one of the very few means of communication. I actually remember the smell of the paper, the distorted typing, the faded ink, heart missing a beat each time that the postman said- telegram!! I have preserved some of those. I am sure they will become a rarity soon, if they haven’t already. Wonderful post, as usual. Wonder if your winged monk is the long lost brother of my winged angel?? Does he have a mole on his left cheek??

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  26. tarun francis tarun francis says:

    whats the monk telling you these days?

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  27. scriptlarva scriptlarva says:

    @ Pankaj Advani
    May be your next movie should be ‘The Dark Monk.’

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