EACH ONE HELP NONE
Struggling,we all are in our daily lives, If I were to ask ,”Was this the way you planned your life?”…it’ll be a IFs,BUTs all the way.
Living with a hope of fulfilling one’s dreams one day…that one day (…knowing perfectly well deep inside that there is a chance that “It might never happen”) is not easy.
As I am growing older and wiser (I Hope!!!), I am realizing that people are unhappy…each and every one of us is unhappy…unhappy with our (fucked up) lives, someway or the other we find some Go(o)d damn reason to be unhappy with our lives/ourselves…for the past two months I have been in this process ( re-search ) of asking myself , Why is that we are not what we want to be?
Got some valid pointers from few ASSHOLES I Know:
You are/must be lazy/ Not Pro-Active - Agreed
You Dont/might not have that FIRE/DESIRE in you - Agreed
You are not that CREATIVE as you think yourself to be – Agreed
You can only speak and cant do anything (Hate that when people say this) – Agreed
In other words YOU AINT NO WORTH IT – JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!(read GIVE UP!!!)
And I thought “Am I to be really blamed for all this”?
Of course I am, but I refuse to take the full credit.
The problem with my story?…all my life I have been in search of a friend who would share the same passion as I do, with whom I can discuss my passion (movies) for hours, in whose company, I could have this confidence in me that one day we will reach there (pls note WE and not I) , one who would pray for my success and vice versa.
But unfortunately I have been unable to find even a single person on this damn planet to whom I could relate to, could rely on , could believe in, for whom I could say that this guy would be the most happy guy if I succeed.
All of them are mean, manipulative bastards who would want to relish your failure and fear for your success (All of this by describing themselves as your “well wisher”).
Isnt it Ironical of being with six billion people we are all alone in our respective struggles?…I mean cmon man there must be someone out there who could match your frequency.
Alone, lonely in my battle I am cause, I don’t believe anyone, I don’t trust anyone (Whats TRUST?…the word is obsolete…they should remove this word from dictionary…remember the golden rule TRUST NO ONE)…and I think in all probability it would stay this way only…I pretty well know, If I were to succeed I will have to do it on my own (not that I will ask someone for any kind of favor or help…no way)
I am in Mumbai for the past two months (doing job)…have met a few strugglers…one group I met has been in Mumbai for the past 3 years,one of them told me there are thousands of people like them out there in Mumbai fighting /struggling in their own private battles …”Apna chance bahut kum hai” said one…”idhar bohaut maara maari hai…abhi to koi help nahi karta agar paisa naa do“…”jitna marji chappal ghis lo, paisa nahi to talent kaisi kaam ka nahi“…
The first and foremost battle is for survival…Then a battle to realize ones dreams…a dream which only you could see…a dream that was was seen (once upon a time) with the purest of hearts.
..all these guys I met are damned and banged every damn fuckin day…some of them are completely exhausted now…they see no hope…some are left with no option but quit…some have already left.
I helped a few of them in whatever way I could…but I soon realized that it’ll not be enough…no matter whatever I do it’ll never be enough.
The situation is really bleak out here in Mumbai…I am SAD…and I want some answers from my life…I want to know what’s happening with our lives…we all suffering…they are all suffering…WHY???
After two months, I have found my answer…Suffering we are and will continue to suffer cause we are not united, I repeat we are not united, Admit that – we are nothing but manipulative, mean, jealous, hypocrite bastards who would love to see the downfall of anyone to everyone.
This is what is happening…there is no one out there to tap the talent which is struggling on the streets/Chawls of Mumbai.
And I wonder…
What would have happened if we were all united, supporting each other, helping each other, giving confidence to each other when we need it most,what if we were all together out there realizing our dreams.
The ASSHOLES mocked at this idea…they said “forget it!…no such thing can happen”
And I thought (Yeah…I only think and never say) you sons of bitches – dont you dare say that it cant happen – Yes It can – check history…check independence struggle of any country…and the greatest struggle of all – the struggle for our independence – Never in the history of mankind has a revolution taken place without Violence – and yet we showed the world that if people get united no power can stop them from what they want.
It was unity that instilled so much confidence in people that people were ready to give their lives for a cause, it was unity that made us forget our pains, it was unity that made people survive the toughest of torches…(I really wish I were born at that time when there was a cause to bind people…now there is none and we are all disunited).
But, as compared to them our struggle is nothing and yet we are unsuccessful…UNITED WE MUST STAND.
I dont know any other cinematic platform other than PFC and I would like to put my word…its high time we start doing things other than discussing cinema…I would really like PFC to help strugglers out there in some way possible…and I am willing to devote my energy on this front…I am willing to work out a plan where by all this might happen (Oz…Boss if you could really give your thoughts on this…would be really obliged).
Lets just stand together and help each other — lets just detoxify ourselves with all the malice,jealousy,selfishness we have collected in our system and do something which would make some meaning out of our worthless lives.
“It takes no genius to observe that a one man band never gets very big. ”
“We must all hang together, or assuredly we shall all hang separately.”
“There are no problems we cannot solve together, and very few that we can solve by ourselves.”
Anurag Kashyap
Abhay Deol
Dibakar Banerjee
Hansal Mehta
Khalid Mohamed
Kundan Shah
Anish Kuruvilla
Jaideep Verma
Manish Gupta
Navdeep Singh
Bhavani Iyer
D. Santosh
Onir
Ashvin Kumar
Ramu Ramanathan
Sudhir Mishra
Pankaj Advani
Revathy
Saurabh Shukla
Shilpa Shukla
Sujoy Ghosh
Suparn Verma
Santosh Sivan
Shashank Ghosh
Shivajee
Pavan Kaul
Partho Sen-Gupta
Prroshant Naryannan
Sam Langoria
Satish Kasetty
Shitij,
A very true post buddy. Sometimes I wonder that we also become part of the system we are cursing, and do not realise the wrongs we r doing.
The other very important thing u underlined was not having acceptance in life. Lets see where we end up after sometime.
rightly said shitij. would suggest you meet up with some other PFCites while you’re in bby.. they will guide and encourage you in your struggles.. you’re definitely not alone in this, do remember that. PFC is behind you in your struggles.. but you don’t have to trust my word if you don’t want to…
“Rula ke gaya sapna mera…
Behta hoon kab ho savera…”
Shitji bhai, like yourself and most of us out there I’ve felt these exact emotions time and time again.
“Is it time to give up these foolish dreams and just concentrate on living a normal life?” I’ve often asked myself.
And then one day I’ll be disapointed watching a film that could’ve been good, but lost its way. And I’ll think to myself “Man I could’ve done a much better job with this film! If I was the writer I’d have done this, or if I was the director I would have changed that!” and I become rejuvinated…
I decide to stop talking so big and to get my ass in gear. I get inspired, motivated, the creative juices flow, the ideas pour out, for weeks on end I’ll spend all my free time (taken away from my wife, my family and friends) and I’ll do nothing but conceive, write, analyze, rework, re-write… finally a first draft is done.
And then I realize it yet again. Now what? What the fuck to I do with this thing? I start working on my connections… “Can you get this guy to look at this script?”… “Can you get me a chance to sit down with that guy for 5 minutes?”… “Screw it, I’m going to take a leave from my job and pursue my dreams! I’m going to Mumbai!”…
Then it hits me… What the fuck do I think I’m doing? Are there going to be producers waiting for me at the airport? Am I the only genius with a self-professed brilliant script in hand, chasing his dreams? Is it worth all the sacrifices that me and my family with go through?
Life’s gone full circle yet again.
Round and round and round we go,
where we stop no one knows…
I been there man!
I hear you!
Good luck!
we need a organisation in mumbai for strugglers. Like Film Independent here.
Mr. Shitij Kohli… What can I say??
Or anyone for that matter??
Although i’m not a struggler in Bombay, i do see what you’re saying.
Also, Tony Mera Naam is absolutely right as i’m sure there will be many instances where we’ll all watch a film and feel that we could’ve done a better job!
And sadly, even now family and friends mock those who want to join the film industry.
That can be soul destrying, so i 100% agree that you need like minded passionate people who will feel the same, but also be happy enough to support you without begrudging you for your success.
Well, i just hope you don’t lose faith and keep working towards making your dream a reality.
All the very best matey…
Shitij, please email me. I have some thoughts on how we can set up PFC Chapters in cities to develop, support and push forward your goals.
just 1 thing… this is NOT a social networking site…this is just a forum to express ours + other people(some famous, others not)’s views ON MOVIES…
deleted a LARGE part of the comment… which in general tone was negative(the discouraging asshole type)
but nevertheless, all the best…
I understand the point of having a great support system. Having like-minded people supporting, encouraging, and keeping you motivated will help repress the depressing feelings attached with repeated failure to progress.
But let’s give ourselves a reality check. Let’s just say we put together a “Struggler’s Society”. And let’s assume that people within the society are willing to drop their own project to support someone elses’ should that someone else be given an opportunity.
The question still remains, who will be giving that opportunity??
Look guys I dont want to be negative here. I’m all for creating a support system, but we need to think this through…
What we need to do is create an avenue to access those who can take projects forward.
That being said, OZ, Shitji, if there’s anything I can do to help from Vancouver, Canada… well, I’m ready and willing.
rbehemoth, I disagree, that this is not a social networking site. Of course it wasn’t when it first began, but just look around… hell look close to you instead of looking further, cause someone close to you has benefited a great deal because of this and I’m glad PFC has been able to give him some of the best times of his life. This is an organic growth, let it happen as naturally as it takes place without throwing in our limiting beliefs into it. If tomorrow this growth helps more sets of people from other parts of the world… so be it.
Hi Manjeet,
Thanks for your support man…I yours has been an eventfull journey…cause you have BEEN THERE DONE IT ALL.
I know you would be there…
Wishing you happiness and may all ur dreams come true.
Thanks for the wishes Shitij. The journey has just started. Still a long way to go. Hopefully I will not loose the focus. I have to face the things pointed out by you. Inshallah will see light at the end of the tunnel! else try to accept without complaining
Shitij – Very positive post. how long will we keep punching fingers on this damn keyboard. i am also sick tired fo all this. pls lets’ all like minded people unite and do something really good for cinema.
Shitij, things r bad for sure. But there r many positives stories as well. Look at the brighter side. U will feel good…magic happens for sure n will happen at the rite time n place. U should have the vision to figure that out. just an example…the guys who delivered last year’s biggest critical n commercial success…RDB n LRMB…both of them dont have any filmy background. Struggled in different ways n finally made it. It wasnt one day journey.Many many years,single minded focus n lots n lots of patience.
Boss…
I had a long post written. It got lost.:(
Would just wind up with one suggestion:
Try getting your hands on ‘The Fountainhead’
An if you have already read it, you wouldn’t have written this post!!!
@oz, agreed, that a lot of people have been benifited in big or small way by PFC, but the point is that my view of PFC is that it should not become a ’stepping stone’ for strugglers. i mean, if some1 gets into movies due to PFC then its ok, in fact, very good. but i dont want people to JOIN PFC JUST FOR AN ENTRY INTO MOVIES,just to get in touch with the various filmmakers/theatre personalities.
Hi Striker,
Man somehow I never seem to find my VIRTUAL friends at PFC in the REAL world.
I mean I log PFC and I feel yes there are a lot of people out there with me…but out of internet and its an entirely different picture.
…And of-course I trust you man…You and me are out here for the most unselfish reason – PASSION FOR CINEMA.
Dear Tony Mera Naam,
Hey it almost seems my story (except that u are married and thank God I am not)…all of us for sure had a Cinema freak trapped in us…which was never given a chance to Nurture/Develop.
As its said – “If you are not able to drive your life the way you want…dont worry life will drive you the way it wants”
Ques: Is it worth all the sacrifices that me and my family with go through?
Its tough man…at the cost of you near and dear ones , trust me its very very tough…In the heat of the moment we might feel we will make it…but once in this BIG/BAD world all dreams go for a shocker.
That said – wouldnt it be nice that you have a platform where you could show your script to the fuckers who shout from rooftops that “OUR INDUSTRY LACKS CREATIVE TALENT”…”OUR SCRIPT WRITERS ARE NOT UPTO MARK”.
Oh Yeah…then fuck Industry and check out talent out there “Struggling”…A common man (with filmi dreams)who is trapped in this never ending circle of hopes/aspirations/desires/responsiblities for their loved ones.
Thanks for an honest comment.
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Hey Mainak,
Have any ideas…bounce them man…we could really start something from here.
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Hey Steve,
Thanks for your support man…I am overwhelmed.
You know – even my mother father want a safe life for me (and I think every parent wants a safe/secure hassle life for their children).
Really man now I realise…People who made big in Bollywood “most of them as Outsiders” had nothing to lose.
I mean they were already in a position where it couldnt have been any worse…and of course unlike our parents – their parents didnt had any damn clue in the world what Studies,Career,Bollywood.
…and our parents know too much to lets us risk.
Thanks man for an honest comment.
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Hey thanks OZ,
I will mail you and probably would like to talk to you regarding this.
I am really happy to see that you are also planning something on the same lines…just know that we are there to help and support you.
But yes I agree it will require some good planning on our part….would really love to put my efforts.
Thanks.
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Hi Rbehemoth,
Hey man…this is the only site I know where I can put my thoughts.
This is the only site I know, where people related to cinema gather and dicuss their thoughts.
If it is not the correct forum…I am sorry man I dont know any better one.
And its just a thought , on which I wanted feedback of cinematically inclined people.
Thanks for your wishes.
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Hey Tony Khera,
Thanks for you concern man…yes you are correct…and that is why I want to talk to Oz…I have never talked to him…but would like to know – how he created PFC…I mean there might have been (for sure)people around him who would have said that it will never work or make it big…buts its working and its making sense to lot of us.
But I guess that is with everything new in life – I know its better said than done – but life doesnt make any sense to me any way…so who knows it might make sense – I might get some purpose in my aimless life.
I just want to say, lets just start working on this…lets see where to we land up.
Thanks man.
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How about starting a organization of ADs who are active member of PFC in Bollywood. Lets start with a internet group. Where people post news about their projects & if any job is available.
Even if its a non AD job…say a crew needs a focus puller for 2 days(that happens a lot) you can get your focus puller friend a gig. That way you helped someone… And same way someone else will help you one day. It all sounds very utopian, even to me, esp after having seen the pilitics & competetive nature of the AD world. But unless we keep trying new things we’ll never find the right thing. If we are not prepared to fail how can we succeed.
So Shitij why dont you start a database with help from OZ of all the ADs in India who are active on PFC. And we have something like the PFC Author’s Club.
Man if we start thinking hard this site can become the Mother of all film sites in India. But OZ has to keep the integrity tight when the money men come to seduce him.
Hi Rony D’costa,
Ya man even I am fucked up being a soft pro myself…this computer/job sucks man…but this is the only thing in life where I can sell myself (unfortunately).
Always thought would become a director one day…If you ask me know…I mean at this present moment …I would say I AM NOT SURE…want that hope back…that I will make it someday (even if it will never be true…the problem is that it doesnt come to me anymore)…I dont know how will that feeling come…but would like to have that “old feel good” dreams…At any cost.
Hey Mainak,
Great idea for sure…hey this could happen if worked upon…Yes it needs some (read lot of)planning from our end and lot of work…but your idea is impressive man.
We could have a pool of lot of ideas – if we start rattling our brains TOGETHER.
Good one to start with (really nice).
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where r u?
i thought u are a AD in INDIA.
Whats with all those roses dude!
Mainak ,
Sorry boy I am no AD…I am a software junk…:-w:-w:-w…
Just got a job in Mumbai ’see it to beleive it’…
Ok, these flowers are some Gandhigiri from my side -:):):)…usually I get some stern comments from people here…so I thought I will start showering flowers to my friends here…atleast it will cheer the mood of people…and bring some respite to our already fucked up lives.
Have some more flowers buddy…and be Happy.
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Hi Phoenixnu,
True man…it wont happen in one day…it will take years to have something substantial…I want to start something and lets see where it goes from here…I cant promise anything…just want to try something.
Lets hope…life has some surprises for us in our journey ahead…
Thanks.
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Hi Asmit,
I havent read ‘The Fountainhead’…although I have heard a lot about the book…will surely buy and read this week.
…and do hope it does something positive for me and my life…Thanks for your concern.
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u kno wat?
me too a software junk…. landed in mumbai to fulfill my dream…. 2de i had a performance at prithvi…. although a platform performance, but yes it was something which we had created!
And as expected, people watched it and left.
I had not expected anything different from the people here. And you know they are right.What you did was for yourself. bcause you gained happines, satisfaction from it. They come there to enjoy their evening. They don’t come to judge you on your efforts. So its perfectly fine.
Again, you talk about working in groups and putting a collectiv effort. You know, art is something which comes to an individual. Art is defined by an individual. If you want to make a fil, its only you wh can make it. And if you are an artist, u wud rather disapprove of combined efforts. Cuz den, ur ability to express ur own self is challenged. And no artist can ever sustain a challenge to his free expression.
You expect assistance from the big names over here? Why would they give it to you? See, they have made their ways till the point they have reached on the basis of their own efforts. They know the value of their efforts. It is only when you pass thru it wud u recognise it. It comes thru experience. And you know experience matters a lot. It is a very personal thing. just like art. And an artist shud always respect another artist’s experience and not demand any gain from it.
What you are going thru is your own experience. And you would treasure it in the years to come. And you wont have the heart to use it for somebody else’ gain. Because its ony you, wh knows how worth it is. God bless and if you become a big film-maker in future, you would find another Shitij writing such a post and you would just part your lips to smile and move ahead to the next post. You know what I mean?
Shitij yaar, trust me we all understand what your going through. It’s tough man, tougher than we realize when we’re dreaming our big dreams.
Don’t be so down buddy. Tum to kam-se-kam Mumbai mein to ho. You know how many of us will never get 1/100th of the opportunity you could have simply because there is no opportunities around us? At least you can, through this site and other means, meet up with different people from the industry and be connected that way. Many of us just can’t, because we’re sitting halfway across the world.
And your educated, you got a decent job man. You work with computers. Its not so bad if you think about it. Yaar I know lots of people who struggle with the basics. They don’t have good work, some don’t have any work, or they’re working labour-intensive jobs. At least your sitting indoors in a comfortable office
I have a writer friend who works as a limo-driver (not for a star either, but for a rental company) in L.A. For the past 3 1/2 years he’s been pitching scripts (and getting told off). He wishes he had a life outside of this, somewhere he could go and do something to get away and be “normal” for a while. But he never bothered with a back-up plan, an education of any sort, and so his options are very limited.
Shitij sometimes you have to appreciate the balance in your life. You can live a normal 9-5 and still pursue your dreams man…
I hate to say it, only because I wish it weren’t true, but well-said Asmit…
Hey Asmit,
Correct Man … I agree – after all end of day – “we are all humans”…yes u have to have ur share of SLOG…share of rejections…then only you can know its WORTH.
…and yes no one gives a shit about anyone…”Koi Saala Jitna Bhi Kar Le, Kam Pad Hi Jaata Hai”.
Good man…guess we should all carry on…and lets all wait for that One Day…that One day…
Thanks for honest description ” actually, I never thought on those lines “…..As an artist one tends to get selfish.
Take Care and best wishes.
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Hi Tony Mera Naam,
Thanks buddy, thanks for you kind words.
You know its strange…I mean we hardly know each other…never seen each other, but still it seems I could relate to you better than most of the people I meet/interact everyday.
I do wish you all the luck.
Regards.
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hi shitiz, OZ, Mainak, Tony……
i am reading PFC continously for 5 days and very much impressed.
i was eager to post on PFC but i decided to read all the articles and then go ahead.
Like all of u i am pasionate for cinema and dramaing about cinema and movie making since childhood but doing job which i dont want to do.
i am happy that atleast i am able to communicate with guys who feel same as i feel.
please give name of some book related to film making.
ok all the best dto guys who are dreaming of movie making (including me).
Shailesh
sorry my english is not as good as all PFC guys.
What kinds of books are you looking for? On Writing, Acting, Directing, the history of cinema, trends?
A good text book thats a part of many filmmaking courses is called “Film Directing: Shot by Shot: Visualizing from Concept to Screen” written by Steven Katz. Its a great book, especially if your a begginner wanting to know how to shoot a film.
The key is to learn from books like the above, then adapt what you read/learn to your own story and be creative.
Hi Shailesh Limbachiya,
Man Sorry , I dont read any cinema related books…just love to watch movies and yes “learn from them” (What?…even I dont know
)
…and please dont be sorry for anything…english has nothing to do with your’s (or ours) passion for cinema….Mein english mein bas bolta hoon…Sochta , hindi mein hi hoon…Hindi to apne dil mein hai yaar.
I know that you are proud of your language…and we all shud be.
Regards,
Shitij