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They say this about Bombay. When you start living here it doesnt let you stay, but once you overcome that, it doesnt let you go. This held true when I moved here. It takes time to find your bearings. But, when someone like me has this very stupid(in my mind..brilliant) idea that I could become a movie-star(not an actor) and moves bag and baggage then nothing in this world prepares you for what Bombay has in store for you. Just a few modelling assignments and a runner up spot in the Gladrags competition made me believe that I was a born star. So here I was in Bombay having thrown away a very promising and might I add, bountiful software career in the US.
Now, the first thing that hits you is when you are labeled a struggler and trust me this is like some social stigma that is attached to you. Suddenly everyone has a right to look down upon youfrom the peons to the receptionist to the producers and directors. Even the people in the building have this smirk which says, Ek aur…. The hostility punches you in the solar-plexus. Forget being a born star, it makes you wish you were not born at all. Yes, you do come across some kind people who share some nice words along with a cup of tea but that never compensates. You have no work, you are not earning any money and in my case, I was not even a good actor. But somewhere a faint voice in your heart asks you to hold on and so you stay and dont give up.
During those days there were two incidents or rather, encounters that played a big part in me believing that this place is not a bad place after all. And these two gentlemen are legends. The biggest. Their warmth and their down to earth genuineness made up for all the hostility from the peons, receptionists, producers, directors, neighbours, landlords.
The first was Dev saab. Jagdish Maali, the photographer asked me to accompany him to Dev Anands office for a feature he was doing. I hesitated, not wanting to be a pile-on but he insisted. On the way I was apprehensive about the reception I would get. But the moment I stepped into his office and Jagdish Maali introduced me, Dev saab greeted me with such warmth that I was actually taken aback. Over the course of the day, he chatted with me, advised me, ordered some great lunch and insisted that I eat well. He neednt have done all this but he did and I was overwhelmed. When we were leaving, he told me, Dont give up, you have it in you..you have the depth.Those were the first encouraging words I had heard in a long time and coming from someone like him, it was so damn overwhelming to say the least.
The second encounter was with Mr. Dilip Kumar. I was one of the five people shortlisted for a serial that his company was producing. The final auditions were to be held in his bunglow. I had never expected him to be around, but when I was called in for my audition, I was shocked to see him sitting near the video-assist. Here I was a novice and to have Dilip saab scrutinizing me at the monitor was enough to make my legs rattle.
And rattle they did. I managed to stumble through the audition and when I was through he looked up to me and said, wait..I need you to audition with a girl also . Double stumble. When we were through and I was about to leave, he said, stay back for lunch. So there we were, having lunch with him and Sairaji. Over the next two hours they spoke to us, regaled us with stories and ensured that alongwith the lunch we had a great time too. Again, they neednt have done that but they did. When I was leaving he patted me on the back and said, you were good. I knew I wasnt but what the hell, Dilip Kumar told me I was good and Ill take that any day.
Now, after all these years when I look back and wonder, I know in their own small way they made me hold on. They may have just been themselves but they did me a huge favour. And I thank them for this. And I also wonder when these two legends can be nice, warm, caring and genuine to a struggler what does it take for people who are not even a patch on them to do the same. Well, I guess that is why they are legends and these people are not.
Today, Im not a movie star. Actually I dont even want to be one. But what Im proud of is that Im an actor and Im glad I chucked the software career and moved to Bombay. And yes, now Bombay doesnt let me go.

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