FANAA -THE DISASTER – My heart weeps (a movie review)
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FANAA THE DISASTER – My heart weeps
My heart weeps…to see India loose a cricket match out of their own foolishness from a winning position; to see Dada ’s(Saurav Ganguly for the unitiated) bat well inside the crease but hanging in mid air..running himself out;
My heart weeps when simple regulatory procedures can stop something like 26/7 Mumbai or 7/11 incidents;
My heart weeps to see my younger brother not getting into a medical college despite getting good marks and a less deserving student gets in due to a fat pay seat/SC-ST Quota;
My heart weeps to see Fanaa being banned in Gujarat; my heart weeps when I drop hints on a girl but she doesn’t take them….
My heart weeps for these and a million other reasons…not because I’m a cry baby…but I GET F***ING FRUSTRATED TO SEE LOST/MISSED OPPORTUNITIES DUE TO THE FOOLISHNESS OF SOME PEOPLE.
What the hell??? Isn’t this supposed to be the movie review of Fanaa (the 1st reference being completely incidental). Yes yes my dear reader it is…and that’s why my heart is weeping. Ok here are some expectations:
- Aamir Khan’s ‘Method Acting’ and Perfection
- Kajol’s spontaneity
- Brilliant music (Except Des rangeela all other songs are pretty good)
- Good song cinematography (rain song- Baarish boondon ki and snow action sequences are eye catching)
- Witty good dialogues and beautifully poetic shayari (in first half)
- Yash Raj Banner
- Saddi Dilli (my hometown)
- Picturesque Poland (passing off as Kashmir by the way)
- A brilliant first half (with aamir khan at intermission wearing those glasses at airport in crew cut and looking like GOD ..WOW !!! )
Fanaa has all these ingredients. But why does my heart weep then still…I mean aren’t these good reasons to look for in a film????
Yes Sir…these are!! But we’re missing the jigsaw puzzle… hmmmm.. ehhhh.. khkbebb. *%$^#^..THE STORY!!!!!!!!!!!
The F****ING STORY!!!! Yes there is too much emphasis on camera-visual aspects. But the most important thing…the story…the ability to convince the audience…the characterizations….the character graph…consistency of character….
Aamir’s role is half baked. U don’t know what he wants out of life…What the hell is his f***ing problem anyway??? I mean does he want the nuclear trigger (to the nuclear missile… HA HA HA) to be given to his Nanajaan (played by a caricaturish Ahmed khan). Does he love Kajol and the child too much that he’ll stay with them and give up his terrorist intentions??? What’s the cause he’s fighting for??? What’s his story???? What’s going inside his head???? After all, uska Dil Kya chahta hai ????
Kajol’s role is comparatively more well rounded…and more convincing. I’m not saying that Aamir’s acting is bad. I love him as an actor…even if my drunk colleagues accuse me of being a fag. I still love his dedication and acting skills. But u can’t have someone like AK being given a half baked character like that of Rehaan. ITS CRIMINAL !!!
I mean even though he poses as a guide ..why does he flirt with any girl on the street (knowing thoroughly well it will lead to problems if things get complicated)..if he’s a terrorist he could’ve SEXED UP kajol (like the Casanovas usually do) and left her like that. No eye operation..no singing in the rain etc etc.. Use her body and that’s it (actually he does say something about using people as materials etc).
Why do u force the fucking love angle ?? so that u can have a couple of duets ??? U end up making a mix-match bhel puri of his intentions. My heart weeps
And when he does decide to stay with Rishi kapoor – Kajol and the kid (he’s pretty good by the way)…why can’t RK find the truth about AK???? Why cant kajol ask him about the lost 7 years???
In retaliation what does Aamir do??? Emotionally black mail them by leaving…of course kajol will come running and hug him…not allowing him to leave. YES 7 YEARS OF A WOMAN’S STRUGGLE/ ISOLATION/ LONELINESS/ UNWED MOTHERHOOD all blown away by the emotional blackmail gesture…
And Aamir doesn’t even mention that he’s a terrorist. Wow so F****ING ROMANTIC!!! Move over Kalpana lazmi – Kunal kohli is here… brining with him the adarsh bhartiya naari. Love is indeed Blind (See Dil Se to find out how SRK is blindly in love with Manisha…thats convincing that love is blind !!! Mr Kunal kohli)
Rishi kapoor and Kirron Kher are pasable… That brings me to second round of brickbats… What the bloody hell are actors like Lilette Dubey..Jaspal Bhatti…Vrajesh hirjee(I’ll forgive u if u don’t know his name)…Lara Dutta,Satish Shah, Sharad Saxena, Shiny Ahuja…Tabu (Yes Yes !!! the lady from Maachis…Chandni Bar and Maqbool) doing in this bhel puri ???? Cardboard Characters..Completely !!!
Why ??? why ??? Why on earth???? Is it a film or an Ekta Kapoor Soap/a music video ????? Is there too much money in Bollywood??? Did Aamir really think this script was worthy of an actor of his caliber??? Or did he sign at gun point???or did he jump at the prospect of playing a terrorist…”Oh Screw the story and the plot…the characters..the conflicts…I’m playing a grey role..a good role..opposite kajol….and I’ll get 8 crores for it. Let’s do it!!! “
Aamir aamir please don’t make us hate you…Please don’t let us down…I literally felt like killing you. It was similar to this film called Aks. Everything is brilliant and acting is too good…but the actors are doing bull shit!! I mean actors like AB and AK can make bull shit look intresting…and thats what happened (No wonder the film is so successful. Due to the hype). But in totality ..Fanaa is bull shit !!!! I’ve never felt so cheated. I mean not even when I saw Tom Dick and Harry because I knew from start TDH is crap. But I expected Fanaa to be so much better)
Suggestion : You thought Mangal pandey was bad ??? Hah haha. Actually it is 5 times better than Fanaa. Fanaa is definitely a one time watch (that too due to the hype). Go watch mangal pandey rather than Fanaa…what the hell go and watch Aparichit instead !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Anurag Kashyap
Abhay Deol
Dibakar Banerjee
Hansal Mehta
Khalid Mohamed
Kundan Shah
Anish Kuruvilla
Jaideep Verma
Manish Gupta
Navdeep Singh
Bhavani Iyer
D. Santosh
Onir
Ashvin Kumar
Ramu Ramanathan
Sudhir Mishra
Pankaj Advani
Revathy
Saurabh Shukla
Shilpa Shukla
Sujoy Ghosh
Suparn Verma
Santosh Sivan
Shashank Ghosh
Shivajee
Pavan Kaul
Partho Sen-Gupta
Prroshant Naryannan
Sam Langoria
Satish Kasetty
Any movie that comes out of Yash Raj factory or Karan Johar factory is always going to be crap. So why bother watching it or reviewing it.
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“But we’re missing the jigsaw puzzle… hmmmm.. ehhhh.. khkbebb. *%$^#^..THE STORY!!!!!!!!!!!”
Hmm frustration oozing out… OOOOOZINGGGGGG… Even the mention of the movie makes my blood boil. Kunal Kohli you cannot make movies. Period!!!! Listen to us before you wont have peple talking to you.. but just laughing at you!!!
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