Finally, A Successful Audition, and I Feel Like Joey Tribbiani
At last, after about 8 auditions, I finally scored one – a TV ad for Godrej washing machine. The shoot was yesterday. Unfortunately, friends and family members trying to see me will have to watch with their fingers on the pause button. It’s not a blink-and-miss part I’m playing; it’s a miss-even-if-you-don’t-blink.
I’d reached the audition for this ad at the fag end (no dirty jokes here please) of the second day, which was a good thing, ’cause a couple of my friends had been there on the first and they say it was obscenely crowded. After a roughly 10-15 minute look at what was going on, I played my part and did get smiles out of the casting lady and the other folks who’d come to audition. I never thought I’d get the part, and I didn’t, actually; they cast me in another part. I don’t know if they picked me for my overacting or my oriental looks. If it’s the latter, then that’s a bit of an ego deflater. I’d rather believe it was the overacting that got me noticed.
And why do I feel like Joey? Remember the episodes when he gets the role of a man in a coma with his face totally wrapped up in bandages, and the one where he plays Al Pacino’s butt double? Well, the ad I’m in is set in a business class row in a plane. I’m the magazine reading man sitting next to an elderly gentleman sitting next to Preity Zinta’s PA, who’s sitting next to a cutout of Preity Zinta, and the camera happens to be outside her window. When this ad comes out on TV, people please let me know. You probably won’t see me, but if you do, I’ll be able to tell my friends and family. There’re two TVs at my place, but they’re both busted. We don’t watch TV anyway. There’s a computer at home and very good video libraries that deliver.
There’s an audition story that I’ve been wanting to tell for a long time, but I wanted a story with a happy ending to happen before I told it. I shot for my first ad yesterday, and by a happy coincidence, I also had another small gig today, so now’s the time.
A couple of months ago, there was an audition involving a librarian playing air guitar, and another with a magician. The guy who auditioned just before me was a fair, pretty boy with a six-pack. When he was given the librarian script to read, this is what he read out:
”A lee-bra-rian…how do you pronounce this?”
Lee-bra-rian. Can you believe it! Lee-bra-rian! There’s a new occupation: a librarian is in charge of lots of books, a lee-bra-rian is in charge of lots of women’s innerwear manufactured by Lee.
When it came to playing air guitar, it looked like he was playing a perpendicularly angled guitar using moves which actually looked like he was giving it its daily bath. But chalo, that’s forgivable if you
don’t actually know to play guitar. I do, by the way. And when I have my second show in Mumbai, I’ll announce it on PFC. (I won’t announce the first ’cause I need to make sure I don’t fumble on stage and get stoned.)
When my turn came, I was asked to do the magician bit – go through a couple of magic tricks that they’d already set up. I haven’t seen the guy who’s ultimately done the ad, but the casting director had told me then that I was the only one who’d done the magician bit properly. I guess it was because I’ve watched The Prestige twice.
But I didn’t get the part. Later on I came to know that the lee-bra-rian guy did. I was pissed off, naturally, but I also know that’s how things are. I’m not delusional. The clients must’ve liked pretty boy’s face.
By the way, lee-bra-rian guy, if you’re reading this, I’m real sorry that I’m making fun of you on a public platform, but you most probably will never read this, ’cause if you were the type to actually read something more than mobile phone model numbers, you wouldn’t be pronouncing ‘librarian’ as a custodian of shelves and shelves of women’s undergarments. ‘Lee-bra-rian’! Christ!
I watched Kung Fu Panda today. I’ve put it right up there among my favourite animation movies. It is SO cute and SO entertaining – Jack Black and Dustin Hoffman are spectacular, so is Michael Clarke Duncan in a one-scene role. The action scenes are truly fabulous – I was surprised, considering it’s animated.
Here’re a few other movies I’ve watched over this past week or so and my ratings –
Bee Movie – 7/10
Atomised (German) – 6/10
Superbad – 7/10
Death at a Funeral – 10/10
Jaane Tu… – 7/10
Revenge of the Pink Panther – 8/10
Y Tu Mama Tambien – 7/10
The Italian Job (new) – 10/10
Gunda (Mithunda’s all time classic) – 9/10
Ubharti Jawani (nah – just made this up)
Anurag Kashyap
Abhay Deol
Dibakar Banerjee
Hansal Mehta
Khalid Mohamed
Kundan Shah
Anish Kuruvilla
Jaideep Verma
Manish Gupta
Navdeep Singh
Bhavani Iyer
D. Santosh
Onir
Ashvin Kumar
Ramu Ramanathan
Sudhir Mishra
Pankaj Advani
Revathy
Saurabh Shukla
Shilpa Shukla
Sujoy Ghosh
Suparn Verma
Santosh Sivan
Shashank Ghosh
Shivajee
Pavan Kaul
Partho Sen-Gupta
Prroshant Naryannan
Sam Langoria
Satish Kasetty
hilarious Kenny !!! Bravo Congrats and hang in there buddy
as they say in the joey waala Al PAcnio butt double episode
“You’ve finally managed to crack your way into the show buisness”
Oh and by the way why the missing 1 rating to Gunda???
In which department was Gunda shorter by 1 point ?
Way to go Kenny !
Dont bother about the Lee-bra-ian.
Hilarious Read Kenny-
You know you should open a blog series titled Auditions ki Kahani or something like that…am sure will make a great read…
And ya, best of luck!
Kenny: ha ha! this series will be fun.
Hi Kenny,
liked your post. besta lux.
and hey are you the one who writes under the alias
Koshish Kumar in bombaybitch.com???
His is a similar story…
gawd bless anyways. rock on.
LEE-BRA-RIAN!!!!!!!!!
i had a really dull day, got smacked in school and a few other places too….but THIS CHEERED ME UP!!!!
ROCK ON MAN!!!!!!!
P.S- i think the lee-bra-rian guys add is now on tv?? is that the guy, can some1 confirm?
once you see Wall-E, it will be higher up the order. best movie to come out so far.
Is this the ad for Monster.com where teh guy actually wants to be a rock star but ends up as a librarian? IS he the ‘LEE-BRA-RIAN’ guy?…
@ Ravi: Till date I havent come across a bad review for WAll-E. Animated are usually not my types but can this be thaaaat gooood???? Got to see it…
Just a few backs some NDTV show (I guess the one for geeks..) gave a review of Goonda and why it has now become a cult movie. Saw the clips and ….How can such a film actually have a huge following…
Guys
Am associated with the prouction company that made the lee-bra-rian film.My colleague was casting for the film.The guy who did the part is a very fine actor called Chandan Anand.Junaid is the guy who played the magician in the other ad.For the lee-bra-rian guy i’ll have to go thru the casting tapes to find out who the gem was.
Funny post though.
Kenny – mail yr pics at mindfckd (at) gmail.com
by the
endmiddle of it this series will make a great book kenny ehehheKenny..fab writing..haha!!
record that ad and put it on youtube and paste the link here……will freeze the frame and try to spot you….don’t worry ;-)
good work Kenny!!!!!!!!
@kartik
Thinking +ve
‘crack your way in’ har har har har good one, didn’t remember it. Gunda, I guess I got a trifle tired in the third half at a few points when nothing was happening.
@d&c and Dpac
The reason I don’t want to start an Auditions ki Kahani is that I’d rather have many Shooting ki Kahanis
@magik
No, I’m not Koshish Kumar. But that’s a friggin good name!
@arthi v
Yeah that’s the one. but I don’t think it’s the lee-bra-rian guy.
@the tribal
Even I’m tribal. Actually, after reading your comment, I’m inclined to think I’ve been misinformed. I don’t think the leebrarian guy’s name was either Chandan Anand or Junaid. And if you say Chandan Anand’s a fine actor, then he definitely can’t be the leebrarian. And you won’t find him saying leebrarian on the tapes. He said it on the side. Never thought someone who did that ad would actually end up reading this. har har har
@Indraneel
Thanks a lot
@Vineet
Har har …not a bad idea, but hopefully I’ll have got more work and won’t have to bother about that
@Uree
Aasorit kotha comment pass koriso. bhal lagil
Hilarious post Kenny….and a unique laugh there (har har har). Sounds like govinda govinda govinda….
Have you already written any other posts here?
@nadeem
Har har har is the way laughter is written in some comics… Archie comics for example
Funny stuff dude, and believe me I have met my share of ‘Lee-bra-rians’ too, and they always end up getting the part!
Koshish Kumar, fabulous name. I’d heard about you, but only now have I visited your blog. And I’ve read about 10 posts at a go. They’re fabulous! You’ve obviously seen much more than me – reality show toilets, attention grabbing b#tches, catalogue shoots, Barista Lokhandwala (I’ve never been there yet) etc etc…
Keep up the writing!
Your write ups are simply awesome blended with a good sense of humour. Gr8 going..