• Kenny

  • Published:
    on Jul 14 2008 @ 6:56 am
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Finally, A Successful Audition, and I Feel Like Joey Tribbiani

At last, after about 8 auditions, I finally scored one – a TV ad for Godrej washing machine. The shoot was yesterday. Unfortunately, friends and family members trying to see me will have to watch with their fingers on the pause button. It’s not a blink-and-miss part I’m playing; it’s a miss-even-if-you-don’t-blink.
 I’d reached the audition for this ad at the fag end (no dirty jokes here please) of the second day, which was a good thing, ’cause a couple of my friends had been there on the first and they say it was obscenely crowded. After a roughly 10-15 minute look at what was going on, I played my part and did get smiles out of the casting lady and the other folks who’d come to audition. I never thought I’d get the part, and I didn’t, actually; they cast me in another part. I don’t know if they picked me for my overacting or my oriental looks. If it’s the latter, then that’s a bit of an ego deflater. I’d rather believe it was the overacting that got me noticed.
 And why do I feel like Joey? Remember the episodes when he gets the role of a man in a coma with his face totally wrapped up in bandages, and the one where he plays Al Pacino’s butt double? Well, the ad I’m in is set in a business class row in a plane. I’m the magazine reading man sitting next to an elderly gentleman sitting next to Preity Zinta’s PA, who’s sitting next to a cutout of Preity Zinta, and the camera happens to be outside her window. When this ad comes out on TV, people please let me know. You probably won’t see me, but if you do, I’ll be able to tell my friends and family. There’re two TVs at my place, but they’re both busted. We don’t watch TV anyway. There’s a computer at home and very good video libraries that deliver.
 There’s an audition story that I’ve been wanting to tell for a long time, but I wanted a story with a happy ending to happen before I told it. I shot for my first ad yesterday, and by a happy coincidence, I also had another small gig today, so now’s the time.
 A couple of months ago, there was an audition involving a librarian playing air guitar, and another with a magician. The guy who auditioned just before me was a fair, pretty boy with a six-pack. When he was given the librarian script to read, this is what he read out:
 ”A lee-bra-rian…how do you pronounce this?”
 Lee-bra-rian. Can you believe it! Lee-bra-rian! There’s a new occupation: a librarian is in charge of lots of books, a lee-bra-rian is in charge of lots of women’s innerwear manufactured by Lee.
 When it came to playing air guitar, it looked like he was playing a perpendicularly angled guitar using moves which actually looked like he was giving it its daily bath. But chalo, that’s forgivable if you
don’t actually know to play guitar. I do, by the way. And when I have my second show in Mumbai, I’ll announce it on PFC. (I won’t announce the first ’cause I need to make sure I don’t fumble on stage and get stoned.)
 When my turn came, I was asked to do the magician bit – go through a couple of magic tricks that they’d already set up. I haven’t seen the guy who’s ultimately done the ad, but the casting director had told me then that I was the only one who’d done the magician bit properly. I guess it was because I’ve watched The Prestige twice.
 But I didn’t get the part. Later on I came to know that the lee-bra-rian guy did. I was pissed off, naturally, but I also know that’s how things are. I’m not delusional. The clients must’ve liked pretty boy’s face.
 By the way, lee-bra-rian guy, if you’re reading this, I’m real sorry that I’m making fun of you on a public platform, but you most probably will never read this, ’cause if you were the type to actually read something more than mobile phone model numbers, you wouldn’t be pronouncing ‘librarian’ as a custodian of shelves and shelves of women’s undergarments. ‘Lee-bra-rian’! Christ!

I watched Kung Fu Panda today. I’ve put it right up there among my favourite animation movies. It is SO cute and SO entertaining – Jack Black and Dustin Hoffman are spectacular, so is Michael Clarke Duncan in a one-scene role. The action scenes are truly fabulous – I was surprised, considering it’s animated.
Here’re a few other movies I’ve watched over this past week or so and my ratings –

Bee Movie – 7/10
Atomised (German) – 6/10
Superbad – 7/10
Death at a Funeral – 10/10
Jaane Tu… - 7/10
Revenge of the Pink Panther – 8/10
Y Tu Mama Tambien – 7/10
The Italian Job (new) – 10/10
Gunda (Mithunda’s all time classic) –  9/10
Ubharti Jawani (nah – just made this up)

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16 Responses to “Finally, A Successful Audition, and I Feel Like Joey Tribbiani”

  1. kartik krishnan on July 14th, 2008 7:33 am

    hilarious Kenny !!! Bravo Congrats and hang in there buddy

    as they say in the joey waala Al PAcnio butt double episode
    “You’ve finally managed to crack your way into the show buisness”

    Oh and by the way why the missing 1 rating to Gunda???
    In which department was Gunda shorter by 1 point ?

  2. PLAYBACK on July 14th, 2008 7:35 am

    Way to go Kenny ! :) Dont bother about the Lee-bra-ian.

  3. Dazed&Confused on July 14th, 2008 8:21 am

    Hilarious Read Kenny-

    You know you should open a blog series titled Auditions ki Kahani or something like that…am sure will make a great read…

    And ya, best of luck!

  4. Subrat on July 14th, 2008 8:32 am

    Kenny: ha ha! this series will be fun.

  5. Magik on July 14th, 2008 8:42 am

    Hi Kenny,
    liked your post. besta lux.
    and hey are you the one who writes under the alias
    Koshish Kumar in bombaybitch.com???
    His is a similar story…
    gawd bless anyways. rock on.

  6. rusted rick on July 14th, 2008 11:44 am

    LEE-BRA-RIAN!!!!!!!!!
    i had a really dull day, got smacked in school and a few other places too….but THIS CHEERED ME UP!!!!
    ROCK ON MAN!!!!!!!

    P.S- i think the lee-bra-rian guys add is now on tv?? is that the guy, can some1 confirm?

  7. Ravi on July 14th, 2008 12:30 pm

    once you see Wall-E, it will be higher up the order. best movie to come out so far.

  8. Arthi V on July 15th, 2008 12:12 am

    Is this the ad for Monster.com where teh guy actually wants to be a rock star but ends up as a librarian? IS he the ‘LEE-BRA-RIAN’ guy?…

    @ Ravi: Till date I havent come across a bad review for WAll-E. Animated are usually not my types but can this be thaaaat gooood???? Got to see it…

    Just a few backs some NDTV show (I guess the one for geeks..) gave a review of Goonda and why it has now become a cult movie. Saw the clips and ….How can such a film actually have a huge following…

  9. the tribal on July 15th, 2008 12:33 am

    Guys
    Am associated with the prouction company that made the lee-bra-rian film.My colleague was casting for the film.The guy who did the part is a very fine actor called Chandan Anand.Junaid is the guy who played the magician in the other ad.For the lee-bra-rian guy i’ll have to go thru the casting tapes to find out who the gem was.

    Funny post though.
    Kenny - mail yr pics at mindfckd (at) gmail.com

  10. DPac on July 15th, 2008 1:50 am

    by the end middle of it this series will make a great book kenny ehehhe

  11. Indraneel on July 15th, 2008 6:28 am

    Kenny..fab writing..haha!!

  12. Vineet on July 15th, 2008 7:34 am

    record that ad and put it on youtube and paste the link here……will freeze the frame and try to spot you….don’t worry ;-)

  13. uree on July 15th, 2008 10:01 am

    good work Kenny!!!!!!!!

  14. Kenny on July 16th, 2008 6:18 am

    @kartik
    ‘crack your way in’ har har har har good one, didn’t remember it. Gunda, I guess I got a trifle tired in the third half at a few points when nothing was happening.
    @d&c and Dpac
    The reason I don’t want to start an Auditions ki Kahani is that I’d rather have many Shooting ki Kahanis :) Thinking +ve
    @magik
    No, I’m not Koshish Kumar. But that’s a friggin good name!

    @arthi v
    Yeah that’s the one. but I don’t think it’s the lee-bra-rian guy.
    @the tribal
    Even I’m tribal. Actually, after reading your comment, I’m inclined to think I’ve been misinformed. I don’t think the leebrarian guy’s name was either Chandan Anand or Junaid. And if you say Chandan Anand’s a fine actor, then he definitely can’t be the leebrarian. And you won’t find him saying leebrarian on the tapes. He said it on the side. Never thought someone who did that ad would actually end up reading this. har har har
    @Indraneel
    Thanks a lot
    @Vineet
    Har har …not a bad idea, but hopefully I’ll have got more work and won’t have to bother about that
    @Uree
    Aasorit kotha comment pass koriso. bhal lagil

  15. Nadeem on July 18th, 2008 12:53 pm

    Hilarious post Kenny….and a unique laugh there (har har har). Sounds like govinda govinda govinda….
    Have you already written any other posts here?

  16. Kenny on July 21st, 2008 3:31 am

    @nadeem
    Har har har is the way laughter is written in some comics… Archie comics for example

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