Have You a Script That Tells It All In Two Lines?
Two unrelated incidents made me put on hold a post I was writing after a gap of almost two months for pfc..These two incidents converged to give shape to this post instead..
Recently I attended a felicitation function where Javed Akhtar Saab was given an award by Enlighten Film Society for his life-time services to the world of Hindi Cinema..And during a tete-e-tete session with the audience he enlightened us about his craft and times..Few of the nuggets I would like to share with you all :
Javed Saab informed that till Trishul their duo of Salim-Javed never knew what a second draft of a screenplay was!..All their films— Andaaz, Haathi Mere Saathi, Seeta Aur Geeta, Zanjeer, Deewar and even Sholay were first time drafts insofar screenplay and dialogues were concerned!There were no changes made or drafts rewritten for their shooting!..It was in Trishul for the first time that they rewrote scenes because the first rough cut showed the film’s second half had major flaws ( jhols and jhatkas)..So the second half was rewritten and reshot for twenty days!
That most of their screenplays were written within a duration of 18-25 days..Dialogues generally took another twenty days or so..
That they were the first to come up with the trend of a bound script that is not only a norm but a requirement today.
That they never created villains who were letcherous..They were almost asexual..They were not bad towards women but they were bad towards everyone..Be it Gabbar, Magambo or Shakaal!
That the requirement of a good screenplay is to keep the plot simple..And make your characters and situations within the plot as colorful and variegated as possible..
That a good screenplay always has a binding factor, an axis around which everything revolves and evolves..He gave an unusual simile of a wayside medicine seller or a madari who used to have a pitara ( a kind of wicker basket) under which he announced he has a snake with two mouths! And the madari used to tell his audience that he will show them this unusual creature but before that listen to this! And then he used to hustle his wares..But at regular intervals he used to make it a point to remind them of that snake in the pitara!..So the audience stayed put and listened to his spiel out of curiosity just to have a look at that snake finally!..And according to Javed Saab that two-faced snake is the axis of a screenplay!
He touched upon many issues but I would leave it at that for the moment..Because this observation about keeping the plot simple brings me to the second incident that happened with me..
I recently was in conversation with a producer whose only criteria for entertaining any script of whatever genre was that it has to be unusual and unique and this unusualness and uniqueness has to come out in one single sentence or two sentences maximum( what is referred in our film industry as Do Line Mein Kahani Kya Hai)..Otherwise he was not interested to entertain any meeting or a discussion..He was not interested in treatment or character driven subjects..At that moment I wondered our dear Shriram Raghvan would have no chance with such a producer..Because in one of his interactive sessions with the audience Shriram Raghvan mentioned that when he went to narrate Johnny Gaddaar to Dharmendra he had nothing to narrate except a seven page treatment note that he left with him with the assurance that he as a director knows Dharmendra fits the role to the tee..And Dharam Paaji signed the film on that assurance!
Anyway when I asked this producer colleague would he please specify what exactly he meant by unusual and unique, he had no defining words but some recents precedents..He rattled them off and mentioned about A Wednesday, Bheja Fry, Aankhein…When I goaded him to elaborate he said that look– in A Wednesday a common man takes on the terrorists and cocks a snook at the establishment..In Aankhein three blind men rob a bank with the help of a mastermind..Had it been three men robbing a bank it would not have been unusual..And in Bheja Fry the two characters carry the whole movie on their shoulders from under one room practically..Now he had a point that is partial truth but is it the whole truth?..
I am wondering now how to pitch my scripts to him in two lines without talking of characters or treatment and at the same time sound unusual and unique..!
I am still wondering..
Meanwhile let me share with you an anecdote about this whole business of telling the film in two lines..There was this writer who accompanied the director to Dharmendra at the peak of his career..As expected Dharmendra had no time to listen to the whole story..So he asked the writer to narrate it in two lines..The director panicked but the writer was prompt and a thinker on his feet with a gift of the gab ( I wish I inculcate at least two of these three qualities and I am sure to arrive in Bollywood!)..The writer said : “ Paaji you have a stick in one hand and a dick in another..When villains come you beat them..When women come you bang them”.( I am just giving you a rough translation in English of what the writer said in Punjabi and the whole juice is in the Punjabi version, of course!)..And guess what? Dharmendra signed the film on the spot!..
So it’s a search not for number one but just two lines that can be a life-line!
Tags: A Wednesday, Aankhein, Andaz, Bheja Fry, deewar, dharmendra, Haathi Mere Saathi, Javed Akhtar, Johny Gaddar, Seeta Aur Geeta, sholay, Trishul, Zanjeer
Anurag Kashyap
Abhay Deol
Dibakar Banerjee
Hansal Mehta
Khalid Mohamed
Kundan Shah
Anish Kuruvilla
Jaideep Verma
Manish Gupta
Navdeep Singh
Bhavani Iyer
D. Santosh
Onir
Ashvin Kumar
Ramu Ramanathan
Sudhir Mishra
Pankaj Advani
Revathy
Saurabh Shukla
Shilpa Shukla
Sujoy Ghosh
Suparn Verma
Santosh Sivan
Shashank Ghosh
Shivajee
Pavan Kaul
Partho Sen-Gupta
Prroshant Naryannan
Sam Langoria
Satish Kasetty
What the producer wants makes sense. If you make him curious about a concept in two lines, then he’s sure the audiences would be curious too.
What this also does is it makes sure that there’s a solid story for him to shoot. Let me give an example. Say Writer A goes to this producer, who asks him for a two-line. Writer A begins: ‘It’s about the inner journey of a frustrated corporate honcho who wants more from his life but life is a bitch because he has lost his love but life gives him a chance and he falls in love with another girl but again life is a bitch because blah blah blah….
This is going nowhere.
Writer B meets the same producer, who asks him for a two-line. Writer B says: ‘An unhappy corporate honcho dumps his office one fine day, gets on a random train without a ticket, and finds love on the way.’
This is better. It’s giving a concrete idea about the story and is intriguing as well. It’s talking in terms of events rather than state of being. Films are about events. A collection of events strung together expertly. The moment the basic events catch the fancy of a maker, something is going right.
A hypothetical two-liner Sriram could have used for Johnny Gaddar: A newbie crook cheats his partners and steals their money, screws a partner’s wife, makes the partners fatally suspicious of each other, and almost gets away.
awesome post bro. can’t thank you enuff for this. insha allah when i make my 1st film, i will thank you for this! thats an awesome way to look at it…2 lines. no time waste. no paisa waste. awesome. salut! thanks a million for sharing!
@ RaviG: bro u r good at this 2-liner business. might use ur expertise some day! stay filmi!
superb krysh…u rock man…its really an eyeopener for us…but guys do u think a one line can actually make producer spend crores on the film? trust me with 6 years exp in films…most dificlt is to sell an idea n thn th film itself…making seems a cakewalk
anurag,sriram cn u pls throw a light on how to sell an idea to a producer…how to pitch in a most intrstng way??? it can b helpful for aspiring film makers!!!
thanks in advance…
here’s an interesting interview…
http://dearcinema.com/interview-farrukh-dhondy-author-screenwriter/
Hi
Can anyone tell me what does bound script mean? I know in Hollywood they use Acco Fastener, but what does Bollywood use to bind a script together .
Thanks
agreed.
The greatest ideas in this world can be summed up in two lines ,no more no less.
Krysh,
Thats a wonderful post. Loved it.
Javed Akhtar is the last person from whom one should listen how to write a script, if you are planning to make a good film…If you are planning to take a bollywood blockbuster..he is the first person..
“Paaji you have a stick in one hand and a dick in another..When villains come you beat them..When women come you bang them”… why on earth would u deprive us of the ‘juicy’ punjabi version??? Now I am a bong but am still gonna give it a shot: “Paaji aapke ik haath vich danda hega aur dujji haath vich lunda hega…gunde aaye toh rula diyo aur kudi aaye toh sula diyo”…
I know my translation is lame..so please post the real thing!
2 lines or 2 minutes are enough to give a feel of
2 hr long interesting story.If your 2 lines does not mesmerize a director its a signal that you might come out with a boring film.But sometimes opposite happens.Some rigid and strongly determined writers never give up their subject and they end up making a blockbuster.So its all about time and kind of person you are going to narrate your story.
So prepare yourself accordingly while visiting a director or producer.
best article for the struggling writers ;)
but can u tell me whether corporate firms which have come recently in india also believe in these One liners or two liners ??
Do minute mien kahani is pretty close to what a story idea is when it first comes to you, note it down somewhere because you might forget it while expanding that idea into a script.
Loved what Javed Sahib said. Keep it simple, and keep them hooked.
Heh..Heh..
Now I am thinking from a Producer’s POV, how will the guy shell out crores for a two liner..or does it start from there and progress to better things..or get the principal actor on the basis of those two lines and then..
Is this not myopic of an industry to put in a lot of money in a creative business on the basis of TWO lines.
I still feel a nice 30 page treatment narrated to a producer, who has the time for it, shall make a better pitch!
The executives have to be told the two lines so that they can convey it to the COs and COOs over telephone. As they don’t have time to read a 20-30 pages treatment. If the COs and COOs like the two lines then you might be given a 15 min narration time.
But yes the journey starts with the two lines.
Script in two lines.. it works sometimes but it all depends on the person to whom you narrates and also those two lines should coantain the soul of your story. If i am not wrong Salim-Javed also approached Sippy Saab with story in two lines of Sholey… correct me if i am wrong.
would any writer then put in the effort of writing a whole script if people want to listen to only two lines?
.
Won’t he then just try and invent as many story ideas which sound interesting in two lines and worry about developing the plot and characters if the ‘two lines’ get greenlighted?
.
Hasn’t this tendency led to all the writing that happens ‘on the sets’ that we keep hearing about all the time?
.
if I were a writer who has put in months of effort writing the whole screenplay, wouldn’t I feel insulted if all I get in return is a ‘Do line mein story batao’?
.
Like Shivajee says, at least read the treatment or else have someone from your production house read the script and make a summary as you want it…two lines, two words take your pick…
can u guys pls tel wat exactly is a TREATMENT NOTE” …how does one write it? what is the purpose of this? who needs it the most?
hey shivaji,sriram cn u PLEASE throw some light on ths?
thanks hai ji!
@dazedandconfused
yeah actually it is a good idea to list as many two line ideas one can take when going for a meet with these execs, or atleast 4-5 of them.
why one has to be ready with the treatment and the full scripts caz you never know it might be your lucky day and they ask for the whole script :-)
when they say “doh line mein kahani sunao” it doesn’t mean that they don’t want the complete script. few changes might happen on the sets but usually now a days productions do stick to the scripts. any changes are done before the principal shoot itself.
no one wants to insult anyone. they are just finding ways to take less effort on their part.
never ever go around with that “one script”…write few scripts or atleast they should be at various stages so that you could pitch one or more…you never know…
they would read the treatment if and only if they like those two lines, even four lines…short synopsis, long synopsis etc etc…funny but true :-)
@cool hai ji
I wish sriram sir also gives his take on the “treatment” thingy…
I would just give my take…
I have a script which I am pitching around. Now the production houses won’t read the full script and they have their reasons for that.
So after they liked your two lines, four lines etc. they ask you to give them a treatment note. It could be around 10,12 pages to 30,35 pages, as long as it needs to tell the whole story.
Yes, treatment is basically the story. Story the way it is being told to someone, or being narrated to someone.
Purpose is again to know the story. It is needed by the executives to the top bosses and even the Director could ask for one.
@Shivajee Chandrabhushan
thnx for ur inputs that are of value to all of us that go quite a length to remove the doubts and also come as an aid with regard to pitching stories/scripts..Looking forward to watching ur Frozen.adb.
@ abhijeet,
@ deepbluelotus,
@ coolhaiji
Thank u all for ur appreciating the post.
@ Ashish B
Ha ha,i appreciate ur translation..it is there but not quite..And the beauty of Punjabi version is not only in its linguistics but the way the whole thing is conveyed also..So even if i write the exact version u won’t get its real flavor unless it is spoken in Punjabi too..so saving it for some good time when we meet..God willing.
@ Rohan
U can safely go for Fevi Kwik to bind the script together for Bollywood where to put together the entire project itself is trying to grab the mercury in ur palm..Just kidding.
@ Magik
Can’t overlook ur appreciation of the post..my wishes are with u whenever u make a debut with ur first film.
@ RaviG
Wonderful overall especially the two line example that really makes Jab We Met sound more interesting.
krysh- interestingly written- no doubt.I guess the way I see it is that one should do his homework properly & have a proper bound script with you.But since the call of the hour is to use anything between 2-5 mins to convey the summary of your story, it makes sense to have a good 2 line summary of it & use it if required as Shivajee says.Atleast one should leave no stone unturned in trying to get a narration across to the concerned people.
Krysh.IT IS CONFUSING ACTUALLY, IF YOU ASK ME THEN, I RATHER SOUND PRO… I BETTER TRY TO TELL YOU THE TRUTH…..I DID FEW MEETINGS AND HAVE AN EXP OF DIFFERENT PRODUCERS. IN FACT NO BODY ASKS FOR TWO LINES THE RIGHT WORD IS “ONE LINER” AND IN HOLLYWOOD THIS IS CALLED…LOGLINE WHICH INCLUDES 6 TO 7 LINES. NO WORRIES… BOLLYWOOD IS ALSO NOT DUMB. HERE ONE LINER MEANS A SMALL INTRODUCTION OF FULL CONCEPT IN AN INTERESTING AND PRESENTABLE MANNER. HERE YOU HAVE TO BE CAREFUL WITH NARRATION THAT HOW SMALL AND EFFECTIVE YOU COULD BE…..ONLY THOSE PRODUCERS WHO DON’T HAVE THE PAST EXPERIENCE CAN SPOIL YOUR COMFORT WITH ASKING FOR “JUST TWO LINES”…..ALL I MEAN TO SAY ..JUST RAISE THE INTEREST LEVEL AND THEN PLAY HARD…..HOPE IT HELPS YOU….CHEERS
@krysh
Hey infact I too was present in the Javed Sahab felicitation and sat on the stairs to listen. It was fun and quite informative :-)…
Nice post by the way :-)
BTW some production houses might give you lecture on why they think you have written shit. Don’t take it personally, they just think they know things, but the fact is no one knows that formula…
@krysh
Your telling me that it is possible to bind 120 pages of screenplay with a Fevi Kwik.
@Deepak mahajan
Technically, A logline must contain no more than 25 words, not 6 TO 7 LINES.
@KRysh: Good post! I loved what all Javed saab told!
..
And the two line mein kahani is a reflection of our time. No one has too much time for anything. Not Prodcuers and not even Writers and directors, I daresay. Instant sunao, instant haan ya naa kaho. If you’re not interested, I’ll go to someone else. This is the mantra for even writers and directors.
..
@D&C (17): I know it sounds unfair, but trust me, everyone wants to listen to a log line before they are interested enough to read the entire script. Even actors. So writers have to brace themselves and start thinking in 2 lines to pitch a project. It might not be ideal, but its the way things move here. On an average, each creative person is flitting between 10-15 stories on his table. How else does he/she decide which one to consider first?
Kyrsh
#Any film story can be told in 2 lines…if it is sounding interesting, fresh, novel then there are great chances that script would also be good…
#on the other hand writing a ONE PAGER or a SYNOPSIS where the entire gist of the script must come in that ONE PAGE is difficult.
#try and find THOSE 2 LINES in which ever film u have liked…it is also called as a LOGLINE…
e.g. An army officer hires two court marshaled jawans to take revenge of a dacoit. ( its a complete IDEA in it self…because it talks about END…either Army officer will be successful in taking revenge or he will fail)
this was the LOGLINE of SHOALY… Army officer became Police officer, Court MArshaled jawans became Goondas and Dacoit remained Dacoit… ( i think i read this in Making of Sholay book…no need to find it…the example suits the discussion)
also if u will see it was clearly inspired from Seven Samurai!…
like wise try and find TWO LINES of different films…even most subtle plots can be told in two lines…those two lines is what the BASIC idea of ur STORY, PLOT AND THEME!… When all gets covered in those two lines, there is a greater chance of good script there!
I think even the worst of scripts can sound interesting in two lines if the writer is clever.
.
I think the toughest ask to make it interesting over 3-4 pages.
.
Also won’t plot driven stories will be better off than character driven stories under these circumstances. Can one do justice to a script like OLLO in 3-4 pages…?
.
Shivajee- Thanks for your comments. i am sure they are invaluable for many readers here…
Two-liner, one-liner, logline… these are just fancy words to describe a most basic function.
If you are sitting with a friend or relative and tell him that you’ve written a story, the first response would be: ‘what is it about?’
(You can try this at home or office or pub, the subsequent query would be the same.)
A film producer is also asking the same thing — ‘what is it about?’ — but he’s using fancy jargon for the purpose (’what’s the logline’, ‘give me a two-liner’, ‘give me a one-liner’, etc etc).
You will never ever hear a friend or a relative asking you for a ‘logline’ or ‘one-liner’ or ‘two-liner’ but their intent is the same as the producer’s: to know what the story is about. Without going into the dirty details.
And yes, it’s completely possible for a great logline to be a terrible script. Happens all the time. Every Friday, in fact. It just means that people have goofed up, have no sense of story, are not Aamir Khan/Abhay Deol.
Hey!
“Whats up doc?”….what a funny film!…Can anyone on this planet come close to narrating it in two lines…NO WAY!..Not even the director of this film…
I really don’t understand this whole two line funda…Its as good as coming up with a TagLine for a product..
With some scripts a two-liner is possible…with some scripts its not….simple!
Like i remember narrating a script to this one director whose work i admire till date…& this is what he had to say…Narrate it in a min…cos if u can’t….then you’ll never be able to say it…even in 3 hours….Don’t think that’s really true….
but i guess whatever gets one engaged……does the miracle!
Cheers!