• Honhaar Goonda

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    on Apr 18 2008 @ 9:28 am
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Kacheri

I was reading my horoscope in a Metro paper, which said that today would be a very creative and productive day for me. Then I read other daily horoscopes of me and none of those horoscope matched with the first horoscope I read. Why do my Sun Sign say something different compare to my Moon Sign? To write a horoscope, you have to be creative, I suppose. Don’t worry I won’t be writing a horoscope; on the other hand, reading a witty horoscope of Bollywood actors, films, etc. would be funny.

I haven’t done anything productive yet, but I am about to do something productive by proving that the daily horoscope I read today is true. For that, I would have to write something creative. So, I shall write a geet, a play, a sketch, a tune, or whatever. You know what, let me be a bit bold, I will infuse (four-six lines) ghazals (which I will write in Hinglish) in the play. Of course, I will be kophying taking some inspirations from others and I won’t add a reference to it cos you lot are smart. If you aren’t smart, then….

[Some Prayer] In Eastman Color, Honhaar Production House [HPH] presents, Kacheri:

Let’s just forward the title, introduction, and get straight to the point (I don’t want to spend much time on this, when I have something in me mind - an idea - I just want to quickly conceive it and move on - don’t like spending much time on it. Besides, don’t need to spend time on building up characters and all.)

Fade In:

Int - Supreme High Court Room

(I don’t know A-Z of screenplay writing nor do I know anything about law/courtroom drama, so I am gona go that far only!)

Nawaab has filed a case against the mighty God. He is claiming that the mighty God was negligent when the mighty God was creating him. If he hadn’t been negligent, then Nawaab would have been Nawaab (Prince) for real - not just by the name. So he is claiming for damages. This is the third hearing of the case.

All (even - the Mighty God) Rise, as Judge walks into the court room.

Judge: Yes, Mr. Indarjeet Chhadha, you may proceed.

Mr. Indarjeet Chhadha: MeLoard, Nawaab is wasting the prestige time of the court with his behuda (ridiculous) claim. There is no point in this case. Everyone knows the status of my client - the mighty God, is inferior compare to any living being. Where as Nawaab is one time local loafer. THERE is NO VALUE in THIS CASE. It would be better if this case is closed now - and Nawaab is send to a mental asylum. If this carry’s on, then Court ki Tauheen Hogi!

Judge: I see, Mr. Nawaab, do you have anything to say to that?

Mr. Nawaab: JudgeSaab, haan mein kabool karta hoon (I admit), that I was a loafer, but that was because of the mighty - God! JudgeSaab,….

Judge: Mr. Nawaab, can you please stop repeating what you have already said in the last two hearing? Can you tell us how the mighty - God has been negligent in creating you?

Mr. Nawaab: JudgeSaab, before I was formed My Janampatri was made by the Venus planet; it indicates that I would live like a prince - I would have everything, but I have nothing, that is because the mighty - God had created me without reading Janampatri. the mighty - God was supposed to create me according to the Janampatri.

Mr. Indarjeet Chhadha: I object, MeLoard! He is painting a wrong picture. His Janampatri states that he would be a loafer, which he is. MeLoard, he should be charged on fraudulent charges and for bringing my client - the mighty God to court, he should be, Tazeerat-e-hind , dafa 302 ke tahat, mulzim ko maut ki saza dee-jaye!

Mr. Nawaab: JudgeSaab, yeh Saab galat hain, woh ek fake janampatri hain! Yeh Jaroor Bollywood ne banaye hogi! I would like to question Bollywood.

Mr. Indarjeet Chhadha: MeLoard, Mr. Bollywood, is a reputable artists. He would never do a such thing. Besides, we have given you the authenticity of the Janampatri, where as Mr. Nawaab has not even given a copy of his version of the Janampatri.

Judge: Yes, Mr. Nawaab, where is the copy of your Janampatri.

Mr. Nawaab: Judgesaab, I had the janampatri with me when I was coming to the court, but I met Yamraj who threaten to rescind my contract, if I hadn’t given him my Janampatri.

Mr. Indarjeet Chhadha: MeLoard, yeh excuses kaab-tak chalta rehega.. mere client - the mighty God ka keemti time waste ho raha hain.

Mr. Nawwab: JudgeSaab, give me a chance, to prove that Bollywood has forged the Janampatri…

Judge: Okay, last chance, if you cannot prove it, then I will have to come up with a verdict against you. Mr. Bollywood ko kathere mein bulaye.

Mr. Nawaab: So, what do you do, Mr. Bollywood?

Mr. Bollywood: I am an artist. I am a creative person.

Mr. Nawaab: How do you know the mighty - God?

Mr. Bollywood: We and the mighty - God go back long way. My work always starts with the blessing of the mighty - God; without that I would never dare to work.

Mr. Nawaab: Why not?

Mr. Bollywood: Without the blessing of the might God, I would not achieve anything.

Mr. Nawaab: I see. Judgesaab, note that point. So Mr. Bollywood, why is that case? Why do you need to take the might - God’s blessing?

Mr. Indarjeet Chhadha: I objet.. Meloard! I objet… Meloard!

Judge: Order! Order! Mr. Nawaab, you carry on..

Mr. Nawaab: So Mr. Bollywood, why is that case? Why do you need to take the might - God’s blessing?

Mr. Bollywood: Because the mighty - God is eternal and it is the law.

Mr. Nawaab: Judgesaab note that point. So Mr. Bollywood your work is original? And who inspires you?

Mr. Bollywood: My work is 100% original. I don’t take any inspirations, in fact, people get inspired of me. Just look around the world - how many people are following me!

Mr. Nawaab: But you have been accusing for copying others? There have been cases against you, no?

Mr. Bollywood: Its all rumors; the media have to write something to sell papers, so they come with that stuff.

Mr. Nawaab: But media have proved that most of your work has been copied of others. So would you say you are good at copying?

Mr. Indarjeet Chhaddha: I objet.. MeLoard!

Judge: Sustained. Mr. Nawaab, can you please get to the point.

Mr. Nawaab: Judgesaab, I was trying to prove that Mr. Bollywood is a copycat and he wanted to stay on the good side of mighty the - God, so he made the fake Janampatri.

And Mr. Bollywood fakes a heartattack…

Judge: The court is Adjourned till tomorrow.

[I tried to write a Ghazal on the theme, but it is difficult, if you don't know that many words! And it took me more than a day to come up with this.]

One Response to “Kacheri”

  1. Jaiganesh on April 18th, 2008 10:18 am

    Partner

    God
    Ache lamhe te woh
    jab main aur tum aur tum aur me
    dvd main dekhe the “kuch ache logon ko” (a few good men)

    Bollywood
    Haan meri naani maa bhi woh
    kahani mujhe sunayeee
    jis main major ho tha bahuth nikammah
    aur lawyer bana badi shiyaana

    God
    Meri awaaz tho tumhe kuch to kaha
    banao mere pyaare aur tum ne kiya
    kuch kuch bi nahi
    hitch hitch bi nahi
    partner hai hum munaafa 100% sahi!!

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