Kambakth – the review proof movie

proneet dutta   | Talking-Points | July 23, 2009 at 7:58 am

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This is not a review of Kambakth Ishq . I don’t  think the filmmakers themselves had any intention of making a film that is to be taken that seriously by the viewers that they start reviewing it . They had the blessings  2 of the biggest stars i.e. Akshay & Kareena  & decided to add a bit of Hollywood masala in it. These factors were more than enough to have houseful boards outside the  theatres & multiplexes  for  the first week so that the producers can  earn the big money ( last heard it was 100 crores)  which was the sole concern  off the makers behind making this business product which they call a movie  .Of course a the end of the day  ,the viewer sulks that his/her  hard earned money was wasted. But as I  settled  down after the 2 & a half hour sleepy torture that I  went through after watching the movie , there were certain things that lingered in my mind. that  I wanted to depict through this article :-

 

1.THE  BIG CENSOR ISSUE ?

   This movie has been termed as U/A by the Censor Board which means a kid can watch this  movie accompanied by an adult . bullshit . If this movie can be watched by a kid then God help the country . Seriously if a movie has a kiss 7 to 8 times(I didn’t count it ) , women appearing in half naked clothes including Kareena showing a lot more skin than needed ( although  I enjoyed it , oops sorry I m diverting) , abuses (may be The censor thinks that abuses  in English is okay as opposed to the Hindi ones that were used in Omkara , perhaps they think it would help developing English of Indian kids , How thoughtful of them . Why are some of them not included in the Educational Ministry , at least they have great ideas ) , talks about sex quite openly ( wow the kids under 10  will grow up quickly) , women being slapped ( I wonder why are the feminist groups now sleeping  ) . So with all these points the censor believes that this movie can  be watched by a kid accompanied by an adult . Thankfully I didn’t take my kid sister or brothers ,who are less than 10 especially after  one of them had asked me what is a strawberry condom product after watching it in  a television  advertisement , curious to know about it , but I did see quite a number of parents with their kids clearly embarrassed at having brought them to the theatre & looking at each other’s spouses with an expression like  – its all your fault that we brought the kids here  .

               Getting back to the Censors , clearly there is a bias here , as while Fashion & Dev D  was given an A , how can such half porn movies escape this predicament .It has been going for quite a  look at the climax of   Partner where  Salman gives Govinda the ‘How to do it’ advice . Yet it had an U/A certificate  while as compared to these2 movies Fashion had nothing so drastically explicit . Now I m not questioning the Dev Ds & Fashions being given A , they deserved it perhaps   . But you cannot show partiality just because the producers have contacts within the board  
to help them get away with anything. Clearly corruptions is  prevalent in all  government departments .

 

2.THE DEGRADATION OF AKKI

       I  know exactly what to expect in An Akshay Kumar Film . Nonsensical Entertainment   & I don’t mind that at all as he is such a brilliant actor that he can take insipid lines & movies to a new level as well as  make it watchable  .It is quite understandable that he backs such project as he doesn’t have a great script sense something that actors like Aamir , SRK ,Abhay Deol do possess. But for how long will we continue to take the torture of films that entertains you less , but bore you more like Welcome , Singh is King & now KI in the hope of the reproduction of his old gems  like the genuinely funny Mujhse Shadi Karoge , Jaaneman , Khakhee or Bhool Bhulaiya . All the 4 latter movies I  have mentioned were Akshay’s best efforts till date & were responsible for making Akshay the star he is today . In sharp contrast  Welcome , Singh is King & now KI are three of Akki’s worst efforts . Now this movies did supposedly earn big  money because of his star power  , but he might also be loosing fan base & could end up being like Govinda who lost his star power for the constant  repetition of disgraceful movies . Akki needs to charge up or else the fans will charge him down .

          Chandni Chowk to China did provide some nonsensical entertainment to a certain level that a Akshay film promises  , but unfortunately the biggie had come after the follow up of 2 biggies in Ghajini & Rab Ne  had swallowed the audiences money which left us with no money to spent in this time of recession on another biggie  . Hopefully Akshay’s Blue ( seems to be different) , Dhe Dhana dan will change it for him .I m not expecting Akshay to do a Dev D or Taare Zameen Par as he doesn’t seem capable enough to understand the depth of these wonderful scripts . But at least don’t disappoint your fans with trash all the time  .

 

3.THE  LOWEST POINT OF SLAPSTICK

 Slapstick comedy has been the favorite form of comedy for Indian audience . The formula is clear , give the script a kick in the butt & let lines & actors do the magic . But some where down the line slapstick genre has been misused by the new breed with the Exception of Golamaal the new breed –Sajid Khan , Sabbir Khan , Sangeeth Sivan(Apna Sapna Money Money)  & even Aness Bazmee..have all made bad slapstick as a easy way to Box Office success .

      For me the king of good slapstick movies will remain David Dhawan. Nobody can even come close to him as far this ‘Leave the brains at home & enjoy’ genre . The fact he has added style to this genre has made him produce his best work in recent times – Partner & Mujhse Shaddi Karoge . Another person who has achieved the same feat is Farah Khan with her 2 films especially Mai Hoon Na which amalgamated the whole masala with slapstick beautifully.

        All so called slapstick enthusiast should take tuition classes on how to make real entertainers that entertains & doesn’t torture the audience .

 

4.A COMEDY hahahaha ……?

 A comedy is supposed to make you laugh but this is not the case with these B- grade entertainers (hahahaha) where nothing is funny . I must have laughed 9 time in all  while watching Kambakth Ishq & I heard other people do so even less times in the theatre .what are you supposed to laugh at  ,Vindoo taking Viagra & watching women take off their bras . How vulgar is that  . I remember laughing 4 to 5 times in the entire duration of Welcome & once or maybe twice while watching Singh is King . I didn’t laugh at all while watching Apna Sapna Money Money . If these films are termed as comedies & 100 crore hits , then seriously something is fishy. In fact I even tried to laugh a few more times artificially ,like the people  practicing laughing therapy in  parks at Metropolian cities do ,as I had spend 100 bucks on the tickets for these movies . Maybe I should join that group instead of wasting my time watching these kind of  movies . At least that wll freshen up me mentally

              So these are my  points after watching  Kambakth ishq . I know these article will make no difference to anybody  , as such movies will  be continued to be made especially after this one has worked . So prepare for some more torture as they will return with it again

Tags: Censor Board, Kambakht Ishq

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