Kukunoor Ki Kahaniyaan……….
“Am I speaking to Kavita?
This is Nagesh Kukunoor.
I am making a documentary on Arranged Marriages.
Would you be interested in a screen test?”
1997.
Hyderabad, India.
If I had known anything about film making 10 years ago I would have wondered why Nagesh needed to ‘screen test’ for a documentary!! Being naïve has its benefits; one has a truckload of stories to share in the future.
My parents who would make it a point to listen in on every phone-con I had [and those being days of a LANDLINE, no, not even a cordless] went ballistic.
First you said Television now you are saying Films,
“Who will marry you?” being the unsaid, unmentionable, underlying dreaded big Q.
Aap log bhi na…..he said he will give me a script to read first. Let’s see uskay baad.
Where? How? Alone? No way.
Of course not.
Nice Telugu girl meeting unknown US boy making movies?
[his accent on the phone was a give away]
Not done, So Gas Vat.
Krishna Khandaan: Amma, Nanna, Chelli with Pet Kukka [Cupid] all troop into the Secunderabad YMCA parking lot from Sainikpuri in an old beat up Maruti van on a hot Sunday afternoon.
YMCA is liye kyun ki those days no CCDs or Mocha Whatevers in Hyd.
Hyd small sleepy happy town. Those were the Happy Days with Dollar Dreams.
[btw only the ‘Sunday’ bit is debatable, rest all is truer than fiction, vaisay ghar pay gaadi abhi bhi vahi hai]
I exit van in a typical eager exuberant ungainly fashion not at all like a ‘documentary film heroine’ 
Hiyeeeee’ accompanied by excited barks.
Already waiting, future crossover Director very cross. We are late.
Blame the Stupid Cupid.
“ Hi I am Nagesh, read this and come to this address for an audition”
shaking hands simultaneously with Bapuji while handing me Hyderabad Blues,
while my Dad is no doubt assessing the ‘young man’.
Before I can pronounce Kuk…….r, he is gone.
“ Aa Battalu enti? Ooranta ala tirugutaada?”
“What is he wearing? Is that how he is going to roam around in public?”
Pitaaji no likey Nagesh in Bermudas.
I likes. He NOT look at me even once ‘that way’ ….you know? Good kid I think.
Interior Krishna House. Arguments galore.
Why do engineering if all you wanted to do is ACT in films?
‘Act’ is emphasized as is ‘films’ and both equated to a morally repugnant behavior not expected of their ‘brainy’ daughter.
I did it for you. I was quite happy with Philosophy.
Oh, so she blames us, why waste four years for us if you wanted to ACT in Films!
I wanted you to feel proud among your friends, relatives and whoever you wanted to impress.
[I am the original BABE see?]
All that gives me no time to emote or practice in front of the mirror as I have seen conscientious actors do these days even for Shorts plus I am a very headstrong woman.
Looking at the ceiling at the rotating fan and mouthing inane English dialogues is something I shall NOT practice. This is what I do everyday!!
Since HE was the one who called me, taking pains to track my phone number down without access to Google or GPS, By God! Nahin tho nahin sahi, but no practice.
I want to feel natural saying it, be myself, if he likes me for the role, so be it.
If not sab changa.
[Mujhay kya pata tha ki he will become the ‘NK’ and mera Back to the Future ho jayega]
So on the anointed day we trooped into the van again.
[Ji haan all of us including the Kutra, Again] and headed for Narayanguda.
“I cannot let you go to these boys’ houses alone, don’t trust everyone you meet.”
Papa being male probably knew all about the Big Bad World.
“Anta nee polikalay, intlo vaaLu tappa andaru nachutaaru!”
“ She obviously has taken after you, likes everyone but family members”,
Ma had her own ax to grind. Too much freedom to girls.
Entering crooked bylanes now, it is a maze, even my mother who grew up in this area can’t seem to locate the said house. Mood in van not good, where does this man live ?
Oh My God! Hope this is genuine, if not I am JACKED.
No more TV shows, no more Ads, no more Partying…….
Meri shaadi kar dayngay. Nahiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiin.
A zillion more carbon footprints later we finally land at our destination, totally zonked.
At least the United Nations sign on the name plate helped to establish his family’s credentials and I could breathe
On entering his house I am immediately frisked behind ‘closed doors’
while rest-of-family-including-dog-who were-not-invited-in-the-first-place-nor-auditioning stayed in the balcony without water or chairs.
You can imagine how my audition went, just thinking of my parents fuming outside.
Also it helps to practice. Since this was no documentary!
On our way back home the only thing my father said during the 30 kms drive was
“ No manners these youngsters, Did not even offer tea”
Poor Nagesh, I must have seemed more Star than a ‘documentary actress!’
Mummyji, Papaji, Behen-ji with a Pet also ji.
And at that point will not deny that people DID recognize me, at least in AP.
Two days later I get another call from him asking if I knew others who might be keen to audition.
It was the most polite rejection I have had to face. Good kid I told you na.
So I dive right in and this time WITHOUT my parents knowing ask him to meet me in his car at Marredpally, from where I would take him to the various Model/Actor Coordinators etc in town.
Such a lovely day it was, because for the first time I was party to a man sharing his innermost dreams with me about Films, Direction, the Process, taking me seriously as a person. I was too shy then to ask him to let me assist him, though I did mumble that I would prefer to be behind the camera but not vociferously enough.
Stupid Girl. Cat got your tongue? Vaisay itna bolti ho.
Few weeks later I heard he had teamed up with Elahe and well he did not need me after that.
1998.
Sangeet plays HYDERABAD BLUES.
Krishna & Co sans Dog buy 4 tix.
Very very uncomfortable for two daughters sitting between Ammi and Abbu to stomach the very ‘male jokes’.
Hated the film.
Guys this was 1998. Please I had not even heard the word Fuck.
For all my reading.
Anyway Pujita leans over my shoulder at the end of the film and whispers
“Akka accha hua you are not in the film, soch tujhay Kiss karna padtha!”
“ Good you are not in the film, you would have had to KISS!”
Quelle Horror.
While I was thinking only ONE THING : Fuck! I can do better than this.
[Ok the F-word has been added a decade later for effect]
Tho Bacchon Yeh Thi Humaari Director Bannay ki Kahani, Chapter One.
Picture abhi baaki hai!!
2006
Washington DC.
American Museum of Natural History. Baird Auditorium.
DOR is being shown as a part of the SALTAF showcase.
I have recently returned from Hyderabad after assisting in two Telugu films.
Much needed R n R.
I enter the auditorium and look into the Projection room out of habit,
“ Need Help?” I ask Vincent almost jocularly. [ no more the shy hyderabadi ]
As If. I mean what can I do to help a professional projectionist?
“ Yeah these reels are all mixed up, can you, yeah just hold it right here while I unspool them and………..Gawd all these Indian Prints are sooo…”
Door opens and in walks Nagesh worried about Dor.
“Everything ok?”
“ Don’t worry give us another 5 mins, why don’t you take questions from the audience meanwhile and I will ‘thumbs up’ to you from up here when we are done ok?”
My new avatar. I can actually speak to him without being intimidated.
Eager fans waiting in the audience chat up with him till I signal to him that we were all set to go.
Poignant moment for me.
The film was good though not as good as Iqbal but I smile thinking of a young man telling me
” I have to make my film this year come what may”
Nah I did not remind him of 1997.
Kyunki picture abhi bhi baaki hai!!
I too have to make MY film this coming year, come what may.
K-3
Anurag Kashyap
Abhay Deol
Dibakar Banerjee
Hansal Mehta
Khalid Mohamed
Kundan Shah
Anish Kuruvilla
Jaideep Verma
Manish Gupta
Navdeep Singh
Bhavani Iyer
D. Santosh
Onir
Ashvin Kumar
Ramu Ramanathan
Sudhir Mishra
Pankaj Advani
Revathy
Saurabh Shukla
Shilpa Shukla
Sujoy Ghosh
Suparn Verma
Santosh Sivan
Shashank Ghosh
Shivajee
Pavan Kaul
Partho Sen-Gupta
Prroshant Naryannan
Sam Langoria
Satish Kasetty
*clap clap*. Your article actually makes me travel from the past to the present. Awesome writing. Looking forward to your movie! Come what may! Saadhinchu!!
k3, beautiful post
and nice running into you last week.. here’s one guy who really wants to see you make that film.. so wishing you the best 
>- in the meantime, let’s make that short, shall we?
—-
“P”-yo or “P”-ne do
All the best:) waiting to watch it
Hehe. Great post.
Best luck with you film projects.
BTW, AK enjoyed reading our discussion!
So, now we have a choice.
K3 – kya baat hai!! lovely post! we await eagerly for the ‘come what may’ movie
Liked ur article very much…here’s wishing u the best in ur endeavor….
wondefully written….waiting eagerly for your next film…All the very best!!!:)
someone seems to have had quite the interesting life. would love to hear more…
Make that film..make it better than what Kuku..r did in 1997..
Make Krishna & Co. and that Kutra go green with envy, disbelief, embarassment (put some bold scenes!!) and original ‘gult’ conscience!
Hyderabad needs another freaking film maker to come out of its bylanes! Long enough…10 years from 1997 and Hyd Blues!!
Attagirl!
this might be totally off topic but are you a fan of ARUNDHATI ROY??
your writing style reminded me of her
hello kavitha…i do not know how to get in touch with you…..can you please drop a mail to me…sorry for whatever this is…..
Wonderful Post…I really wish that the next time u meet Kukunoor is @ the screening of your movie!!
Wish you loads of luck and best wishes.
Great post. Anyone who spells ‘dayngay’ like you did deserves to say ‘pikchur abhi baaki hai.’
Godspeed
=d> =d> =d> =d>
Best of Luck!
Kavitha garu,
thats a wonderful story. waiting eagerly for your upcoming movie!!
would love to meet you sometime since you are in the dc area….let me know!
Machchar : ‘Chaala thanx’, eesh, hate that phrase!
Striker : Sure but you are a new ‘dulhay raaja’..
Dabba : You aint heard nothin yet!
RA : AK likes? Happys Ending!
Subrat : Its a compliment coming from you.
Rick : Thanx, Arundhati writes well.Though I did not like her God Of Small Things except in parts.
Sreejith : Tumhaaray Muh Main Avakaayi ['Ghee'] and other Andhra Pickles ['Shakkar']:)
Madhu : will reply to your mail,no sweat.
Srishti : will send phone number,’CAAL ME ANDI’
Raja Sen: Ya nay ki Rediff waalay Sen saab? Just yesterday reading your articles saar sent by one Macchachar on this esteemed sight. Bhery Gud .
Vijay, Maruramu, Hemant, Vinayak, Turrtle, Indraneel : Bahuth Bahuth Shukriya for all the best wishes and goodwill.
K
i’d like to assist you in your film, come what may !! nahh only if you’d let me..
good kid:
so have you also failed an audition?
JJ ;)
will keep u in mind…..
K
Very well written. Another guy looking forward to the ‘come what may’ movie. All the best.
~ H
Kavita,when are you holding auditions for your movie project?
There’s a lot of talent amongst PFC contributors,right from actors to Technicians.I’m sure you won’t have to look beyond this talent pool.
BTW,what language is your movie in?
great post K3.. Louved every bit of it..
Arun Prakash has got a really good point!!
Oyye K-3 badhiya badhiya…sweet article..was transported to Sec bad YMCA..hehe, the bustop under the tree across from there…and yeah Best lucks phaar ur phillum…
You used to live in Sainikpuri? Kyaa baat hain..hum bhi wahi ke hain…Defence Colony…FABS and those days ayyila..sooper days…
even im a hyderabadi…really good article no words to describe it…cool as wind
Harish/Santosh : Thank You sooo much.
] within ‘our’ circle is a Grreat Idea !
Wait up you’ll not be disappointed.
ArunP /Sreejith : HINGLU :d
Definitely.PFC is an amazing platform
and looking for talent [ and producers
OM anna: Defence Colony antay andaru manavaaLu.
Fifth Ave Bakery figures in my story [ FABS ]
Sixth Ave, Cindrella Beauty Parlour say sidhaaaa gaye tho, vaheeench ghar hai.
Krishna: how can one named Krishna NOT be from Hyd!!
chal ‘parson’ milayngay baap, K
Hi Kavita,
While your article is good, I do not like the eight year time jump you have made. Reads like you were auditioning for HB one day and the next day making your own movies. Would you mind shedding some light on the eight “lost” years? :P