Lick and Stick
“Sankat City will not be released on 26th of June 2009 as planned earlier. Instead, it shall hit the screens one week later, on 3rd of July. See to it that the dates are changed in all promos.”
“Promos is easy sir, but what about posters?
“What about them?”
“They’ve already been printed, truckloads of them, with the old date.”
“Dump them in the same garbage yard where ‘Sankat City’ was shot.”
“Why don’t we recycle them instead?”
“Posters don’t print well on recycled paper. Do you have an alternative ‘green’ solution?”
“As a matter of fact, I do. What if we stick labels over 26th June on the posters?”
“What would the labels say?”
“3rd July of course!”
“Good idea! Whose idea?”
“Yours of course.”
“Thank you. Check with the printers how much it would cost to produce labels gummed on one side. We’ll provide soaked sponges to all the staff and the crew (including the director), all they’ve to do is, wet the labels and stick them on the posters.”
“But sir, Municipality has declared a 40% water cut. It would be unwise to waste so much water on labels. I would rather use it to wash my bottom.”
“In that case, tell them to lick and stick the labels.”
“Glue tastes horrible. You’ll have a mutiny on your hands.”
“What about flavoured labels?”
“Super idea. Banana, strawberry, mint and pineapple. Each time they lick the labels, they’ll taste a different flavour. 
Would break the monotony and add variety to the chore.”
“Would flavoured labels cost more than regular ones?”
“According to my estimate, the printer will charge atleast 40% extra.”
“Chuck the idea. In these times of recession, we must cut corners wherever we can.”
“What if we print regular labels and get labourers to lick and stick them?”
“Do they find it tasty?”
“No, but they’re used to hazardous job environments.”
“What about their wages?”
“They come cheap.”
“I saw re-run of a Seinfeld episode the other day. George’s girlfriend died of licking gummed flaps of cheap envelopes.”
“That’s a chance we’ll have to take.”
“The risk factor is too high, think of something else.”
“We could use markers to cut the old date and scribble the new one.”
“That would look ugly.”
“The posters aren’t very pretty to begin with.”
“If that’s the case, you may go ahead.”
“If you don’t mind, I would also like to draw a moustache on the hero’s face.”
“Would that make him look more handsome?”
“No sir, its just my keeda.”
“As long as you don’t touch the heroine’s face.”
“I might also want to doodle some hair on the villain’s head, make his eyebrows bushier and change the tagline.”
“Be my guest.”
“Mind if I change the title of the film as well?”
“Do whatever you want, as long as you don’t forget to change the date.”
“Releasing on 3rd July, ‘Thhan Thhan Gopal’!”
“Super. Any further questions?”
“Just one more sir. Melody itnee chocolatee kyoon?”
Barring the dates mentioned above, this post is purely a work of fiction. Any resemblance to any person, either living or dead is purely co-incidental.
Anurag Kashyap
Abhay Deol
Dibakar Banerjee
Hansal Mehta
Khalid Mohamed
Kundan Shah
Anish Kuruvilla
Jaideep Verma
Manish Gupta
Navdeep Singh
Bhavani Iyer
D. Santosh
Onir
Ashvin Kumar
Ramu Ramanathan
Sudhir Mishra
Pankaj Advani
Revathy
Saurabh Shukla
Shilpa Shukla
Sujoy Ghosh
Suparn Verma
Santosh Sivan
Shashank Ghosh
Shivajee
Pavan Kaul
Partho Sen-Gupta
Prroshant Naryannan
Sam Langoria
Satish Kasetty
Pankaj Bhai- that was funny.3rd july confirmed?
lock kar diya jaaye?
wow. 3rd july it is, then.
@ pankaj: what plans of pan-India release? any help required, please let us know, we wud raise a war-cry on PFC to help u out.
.
saathi haath badhaana..ek akela thak jayega, mil kar bojh uthaana…
@pankaj: here’s another alternative – strike off the release dates from all posters and write the fresh date underneath with a minor tagline ‘ghor sankat’
.
good luck and hope dates don’t change again, nahi to sabki sitti baj jayegi
another question: Hum chlormint kyon khaate hain?
Fun apart…very nice post. Give me some more dope…
~Ashu Bhai MAPRM Wale
Any whiffs of such enlightened conversations in the film?
Poster hai ki Imposter ?
Kambaqt 3rd July !
Kya baat hai sir… Enjoy reading your articles.. Movie se bhi itna maza maangta hai
Hope this time you reach to bollywood baba first before Sajid goes.
That Seinfeld episode is a favorite and oft-repeated one…eagerly awaiting your movie!
bakchodi jai ho!
Post toh hilarious tha pankaj bhai…
super fun! I hope the movie has such ‘bakar’
Good to see you back with one more hilarious post. Yeah the message has been conveyed loud and clear. 3rd July is the day. Keep both those films and posts and coming.
keep those films and posts coming!
Perfect beginning to the July 4th weekend… assuming the film would have a global release the same weekend.
Kya dost ek week se hamari bekarari aur badha di. Chalo 3 july hi sahi. Till then Aapke blogs se him kaam chala lenge. Best wishes once again aur is baari date mat aage karna. Must say u write pretty good bhai. Keep blogging.
Pankaj ji, I hope “Sankat City” is funny and refreshing as your posts. Keep blogging n good luck.
great post, as always…. i m dying to see the movie now
Bakchodi going places…just recieved a call from Bangalore from an evidently interested lady asking for Pankaj’s number…
on 3rd july u shall meet mr. old monk in ur fev bar
and hopefully he will tell u that u did a good job.
So All The Best
The posters resemble a lot like sin city…. :(…. sorry to say but…..really disappointed !!!! i expected much more…..
hey pankaj, do write once on the 3rd of july…would like to read your post on that particular day
Each Friday night after work, Santa Singh would fire up his outdoor
grill and cook a tandoori chicken and some meat kebabs. But, all of
his neighbours were strict Catholics … and since it was Lent, they
were forbidden from eating chicken and meat on a Friday.
The delicious aroma from the grilled meats was causing such a problem
for the Catholic faithful that they finally talked to their Priest.
The Priest came to visit Santa, and suggested that he become a
Catholic. After several classes and much study, Santa attended Mass
… and as the priest sprinkled holy water over him, he said, You
were born a Sikh, and raised a Sikh, but now, you are a Catholic.”
Santas neighbors were greatly relieved, until Friday night arrived.
The wonderful aroma of tandoori chicken and meat kebabs filled the
neighbourhood. The Priest was called immediately by the neighbors
and, as he rushed into Santa’s backyard, clutching a rosary and
prepared to scold him, he stopped and watched in amazement.
There stood Santa, holding a small bottle of holy water which he
carefully sprinkled over the grilling meats and chanted: “Oye, you waz
born a chicken, and you waz born a lamb, you waz raised a chicken,
and you waz raised a lamb but now yara, you are a potato and
tomato”!
That was Sin City, this is Sankat City. Waiting for 3rd of July!
You are a riot!
Who me?
Yes, you!!
Couldn’t be!
Then who??
Cookie monster stole the cookie from the cookie jar!!!
Hey, hilarious post, will try to watch it first day first show!
hope its releasing in US too? or should i wait for the DVD?
BTw that was a really funny post..
This post sucks!! I hope pankaj ur film also doesn’t suck like this!!!
@ PFC Administrators : why do you delete the comment if someone doesn’t like the post?? can’t i express that i didn’t like this post… you did it twice… please comment)
[Editor Note]: Bhavesh. I would have spammed your comment, but I dont want you to think that Admins and Editors are a bunch who delete anything on which one has a negative opinion.
Off course you have a right not to like something, but as long as your replies are cultured and not just ” You Suck, Your Post Sucks”, your reply will find its spot, else it will be spammed. Hope you get this. Letting your comment here for now. But, next time if you do the same, you will be spammed!
Love y’r one-liners on Facebook….hope the movie does great business everywhere…
Bakchodi, in the truest sense..Mind Blasting.. :D
sirjee.. is hafte bhi nahi release kar raha hai kya movie?? the movie is not put up in pvr/inox/fame
Azadji, film is releasing on 10th of July!
hmm.. another dry week :(..
Hey Pankaj,
that was truly hilarious, it ended much like the Deewar MTV promo where “shashi kapoor’ says.. Can you pl repeat the question? Funny.
I had scene a copy of your earlier film you had shot on video.. one where the guy hires a shooter (pahwa) to kill his wife and forgets the specs at home, and the confusion over who the wife is.. finally it boils down to the woman with the stapless bra. That scene almost killed me. It was hilarious. Also Antara looked so pretty in that.
I hope this film does well. The face of this industry needs to change man.. it needs to get out of the hands of the few or it’ll just go where the TV has gone… Regressive and totally devoid of original ideas.. They even have to buy the rights for a show called Britain’s got talent. Maybe they should have imported it as “the current Indian entertainment industry has no talent”
All the best