Mosquitos in My room
Warning - loong rambling drunken nonsensical post with general cribbings
Why the hell are there so many mosquitos in my room ? There isn’t much blood left in the body anyway. This city has sucked it up all and putin Vodka.
Why can’t the mosquitos leave me alone ? It’s 4 o clock in the morning. Why do they still bother me ? Why do they bite, hum and irritate ?
If they can’t contribute to the ecosystem positivly, why be a negative ? Why be therre ?
Mosquitos are Parasites or insects ?
What’s the difference ? Who cares ?
I do.
A Parasite is harmful. It feeds on whatever good you have.
Insects may or may not be harmful.
All parasites arre insects but all insects are not parasites.
Why buzz around and create nonsense ? And disturb my sleep at 4 am in the morning ?
The parasites do not bother me. Its the mosquitos. Parasites feed on the biggies. The rhinos.. hippos.. elephants .. the lions…
As Manoj Joshi hams it in Guru “EK aadmi kaam karna cha raha hai, aur tum usko peechey haath dho key padey ho !!!”
The crab mentality ?
Crabs are insects or parasites ?
Was watching Flop Show on CD the other day. Whatever happened to India’s once Tenaliraman/Birbal Mr Jaspal Bhatti ? Flop Show is a cult classic…paralleled only by Jaaney Bhi Do Yaaron. Nothing much to write home about in terms of technique/Camera/Lighting/Sets etc. Not trying to be over indulgent.
Then why is it that despite having seen it nearly 15 years ago, I still vividly remember the stories and the dialogues. Why didn’t he make many more such ‘cult’ serials which were as successful ? Why was he reduced to a stupid Sardar in and by the Bombay film industry ? Why did he become a mosquito ?
Why is his once famous dead pan face, so irritating these days ?
Where is Savita Bhatti ?
Does she still say “Ghar toh Bhatti Sahab ka hi hai, par plot merey papa ney dahej main diya tha” ??
Flop show comes once in 10-15 years. Even Jaspal Bhatti can’t recreate it.He may not do anything in his entire life, but i will be ever greatful to him.
As they say, a Satya happens once in 10 years. I will be ever greatful to him for Flop Show.
Why did Anupam Kher/OM Puri/Naseer act in Budhdha Mar Gaya, Awara Pagal Dewana, Krishsh ?
What were they doing ? Where they doing it for the famous Subhashi Ghai’s Paisa-yeh-Paisa ? Or was it Apna Sapna Money Money ?
Why ? Anupam Kher is almost RK Laxman’s quintessential common man (yes, even his make up) onscreen in Khosla Ka Ghosla.
Ouch … there goes another one … sucking my blood… OOOOOOOuch … just hit myself … it pains more
Requiem for a Dream is one helluva film. I can’t review it. It’s like a big Baseball bat banging your head again and again….everytime you listen to that crazy soundtrack. If anybody narrated the story to me I wouldve instantly have had a ‘preconcieved bad opinion’ of the film… which I confess I did, untill i saw it. The story is so cliched on paper “Drugs are bad”. Or may be “Violence begets Violence” = City of God.
Both these films are such masterpieces !!!
Requiem has me sworn off Drugs/Dope/Bread-Iodex. The snorri cam, the performances, the depravity to which the characters go to…
We havent made a good Drugs film… have we ? Recent one might be Charas. It’s good but aint brilliant. So ?? Was HAre Krishna Hare Ram brilliant ? Then why expect brilliance and stive for it ?
And all this while I wondered why of all the people Uday Chopra shares screen space with Irrfan Khan. Isn’t a Supaari enough to give a massive inferiority complex to him for the rest of his life ?
Now I’m talking like a mosquito. Machchar Kumar .. I love u 
Was in Delhi some time back. We guys were drinking inside a roadside Chinese Restaurant close to Chanakya theater (Posh!!!) Dead drunk, we went for Jab We Met. My friend M stuuffed up all the “Goa Guthkas” in his undies, and the other friend B hid the cigg pack behind his belt (Don’t ask me how). Obviously, Gukhtas and Ciggerettes are prohibited in theater.
M came through the security guard comfortably. But the guard checked B and found the ciggs. B replied almost audaciously “Cigg ley ja raha hoon.. andar Jalaonga kaisey ? Maachis toh hai hi nahi. Check kar Lo!!!”
They let him in.. but not without a fight.
Oh I forgot to add.. I was myself carrying a quarter of “White Mishchief” in my undies.
When will Indian Cinema show something ruthlessly real ? Real Life ? Why do couples in hindi films always come in cars/bikes ?
Are DTC/BEST buses banned like smoking ? why does the girl always have to be wearing perfect make up ? Why are the hero heriones always fair and handsome/lovely ?
Why can’t one of them be fat ?
Agreed realism isn’t achieved by just the parphernelia alone. But why not try ???
Why does a girl go gaga everytime a character says the F*** word on screen ? What happens if another character says the Chu***tya or BC or MC word ? Is the former kool and the latter uncool ?
Damn, let me increase the fan speed.
If we have to make a film on One Night at Call Center, is it necessary to cast 35-40 yr old married stars in the roles ? Can’t we lower the budget and cast few of those strugglers outside Prithvi? Or may be those amazing actors from NSD, who are so fed up with indian cinema that they start taking themselves tooo seriously .. and/or start acting in south indian films ?
May be if they spoke hindi with an english accent and English with a Brit/US accent, they would get roles.
Manorama gets made in 2 crores,
johnny in 5 may be,
bheja Fry in 51 lakhs (that’s the udti udtii khabar).
And 51 lakhs is what three people donate in Tirupathi.
HAIL BALAJI (Mom, Dad and Ekta Kapoor - Are you happy now that I’ve said it ??)
Before the swords are out, I know it’s their money..they can do with it what they feel like. I’m not holding it against them. I’m just buzzing. I’m a mosquito …
WHY CAN’T WE MAKE A FILM LIKE REQUIEM ?
It looks so low budgget and yet is so captivating.
Oops .. did another mosquito hear it ? Did i say it loud ? Is someone making “Sapnon ka Badla” ??? Is aamir khan starring in that remake/rehash too ???
WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM WITH ABUSES ?
I loved omkara for gifting the word “Beti****” to indian cinema…. of course there are a million other reasons why i love the film as well.
Actually If i may remember correctly, Hazaron Khwahishein Aisi was the first film to have the word ?
Anyways, why can’t a film talk abuse/cuss words like the way we guys do ? We’ve (guys in delhi) have been using that word since donkeys.
So Miss Wonderful Actress and good looking lady- What’s your problem if the short film script has few “Hindi abuses” ? Why do you have to go judgemental on it ? Those abuses are not addressed to or by you anyway !
Hmmmmmm are there mosquitos in Ladakh ?
I must see Frozen.. Heck for 100 odd ruppees I can be transported to Ladakh.. the lingo.. the people … the landscape… the place where I’ve always wanted to go. The place which any film buff would want to see rather than a film Studio or a set.
Is anybody shooting a Desi Apocalypto in Andaman ?
Do I actually know there exists in India this place called Andaman and Nicobar Islands ? When was the last time I heard Lakshwadeep in hindi cinema, let alone saw. Hindi film in Chennai ? Let alon the union terrortires. Oh Daman and Goa are the only two union terrotires for shooting. After all Booze is dirt cheap there.
Is entire Delhi filled with Punjabis only ?
Is entire Old Delhi with Skull capped Muslims ?
Is entire mumbailiving in penthouses between Andheri and Bandra ?
I will make a Dark comedy some day… where everybody is happy. Everyone is Bloody happy… a Sooraj barjatya’s city … that will be shot in bombay. Every extra /charactor /actor/actress/tom/dick/harry in the film will be sachcharinly happy and crack funny jokes.
I will shoot a village farmer scene cutting the crop wearing jeans. The village will have modern gadgets. The houswife aunties will make Lassi, Alu ka Paratha and Achaar.
Hmmmm i’m feeling happy now. It’s 5.30 am. I’m going to have a bath, leave the godforsaken mosquitos in this godforsaken room and goto office, and blog. Because that’s what keeps me happy.
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You seriously make me wanna go get sloshed now man.Nice rant
I was scrolling and scrolling and waiting to see you go blaze on Sawariya and OSO. Dude, u gave up?
What a rant huh? RFD with all night movie watching dope and vodka sessions… those are days…
great rant kartik….keep walking.
Is this rant a tribute to Anurag Kashyap style of ranting ?
intehreshting…
)…
salaa actresses do without make-up roles… they are branded pseudos/wannabes (Raveena - Daman,Isha koppikar - Shabri(i agree not released… but still), Sushmita Sen - Chingari off the top of my mind). i dint say i disagree…
Fat actors are cast (Madhavan - RHTDM). probably well-suited for that movie, but still…
besides we do have unconventional looking heroes(SRK
Pakiya(in Satya) abuses in a mainstream hit(Bandit queen doesnt count)…
Chachi 420 dialouge -
BEST… woh ‘BEST’ bus jaa raha hai naa… awaaz nahi aa raha… LUX…
lux saabun???
lux-me… laxmi… yehi mera naam hai…
and more recently Naach - had Abhishek and Antra travelling in BEST buses…
all these movies are made…
the point is that all of them might not have 50 crore riding on those actors (who might not ensure the returns on that money)… they have (as you said) 51 lakhs, 2 crore etc over them, which they (ofcourse, alongwith the script) can hope to return…
its fine as it is happening… the ‘indie’ scene is happening (courtesy:Rajat Kapoor)… no need to hurry into it…
Bheja Fry/Khoshla ka Ghosla might not even have turned out as well as they did, had there been no budget constraints…
as they say ‘Necessity is the mother of Invention…’
at the end of this, i’d like to repeat what Rahul Bose’s quote which was something to the effect of:
“Everybody in Bollywood knows what they are supposed to be doing and are actually fulfilling those things…”
which basically meant that Fardeen Khan is supposed to look good/act stylish and Irrfan Khan is supposed to act good.
Why picking the points about a movie which it doesnt want to show (expecting Main Hoon Naa to show BEST buses) and forgeting about Naach showing BEST buses…
btw am not talking about the quality of any of these movies(Naach, Main Hoon Naa, Bheja Fry etc)
and i concede the example of movies cited are even that recent… but i guess, u get my point…
and oh ya… saw FLOP SHOW recently… WOW!!!
“Was in Delhi some time back. We guys were drinking inside a roadside Chinese Restaurant close to Chanakya theater (Posh!!!) Dead drunk, we went for Jab We Met. My friend M stuuffed up all the
and Requiem remains for me the most impactful dope movie ever made…bliv me i almost gave up %%- after watching it for 1st time :)….
Mary J is Shiva’s friend. By comparing the two you are diminishing the seriously debilitating effect Koko the assmonkey has on those foolish enough to pay to watch him play.
baap … super blog yaar… ^:)^
@ vikram, ravtor, Raj, Gaurav
thanks
@ turtle - this rant is a tribute to to the mosquitos ….
why does everything i do get associated with anurag kashyap ?
@rbehmoth
makeup - exactly … yaar if they acted well .. then there would be no question of make up etc…
Fat actors is just an example…. i meant … guys like you and me. Not someone whose been gymming since childhood
Oh shit !!! Chachi … Lux !!! .. Laxmi God Bole ..
and excellent Rahul bose quote …
@Samy - I didn’t even see Hare Krishna .. completely …. just loved the songs
[...] Check it out! While looking through the blogosphere we stumbled on an interesting post today.Here’s a quick excerpt Warning - loong rambling drunken nonsensical post with general cribbings Why the hell are there so many mosquitos in my room ? There isn
Kartik: Advice from the “real” Machchar how to avoid being bitten by mosquitoes. Buy a GoodKnight repellant….Or Andheri raat mein pakad “Diya” tere haath mein…Will keep you too busy to even notice the machchars…Or start writing a script called “Rose Mary Marlowe”….It’s a better idea than writing such articles
Bzzzt: Well…Thanks so much for loving me! *bow*
I am scripting one of my 60 min project. The writeup gives me lot of ideas to be used. I hope the author doesn’t mind.
lage raho……was a good trip
@Machchar -buying the repellant tonight !!!
Dnt worry .. Everyone knows i have a soft corner for strgglers
@Gajendra - lemme know if i can be of more help
@madhu - thanks
Never knew Machchars could be soooooo inspiring! Was fun reading the post
Well what do you know! An actual mosquito bit me while reading this post! Coming back to you, assuming that you were kept awake by real mosquitoes(and not some metaphor for somethng else), why didn’t you just wake up and start smashing them, apne kamre mein to hijre wale kaam kar loge to bhi koi farak nahin padega. Try it, it does make a good sport, the stained walls on my room bear testimony to this! But hey if you had done this we would have missed a really good rant
aastha .. mosquito is a metaphor … Now go figure ….
Kartik Krishnan, ek baat bata…Instead of doing so much back seat moderation about film industry, why don’t you do something actively in this field? Considering you have many friends connected to this field, it should be easy for you to start somewhere….
Well, coming to the issue of financial security which your present job gives you, I am sure you can write scripts in your office time the same way you blog on work hours
machchar- since it is u who has asked this Q, I will reply.
it will happen when it is bound to happen. I have some reservations not about the industry per se .. but about me and my talent .. and my ability to convince my parents.
I keep writing by the way … for myself .. for friends .. majorly short film scripts and all ….
By the way, I got 6 emails till now telling me to read a post by KK which has some “connection” to Machchar Kumars and Mosquito’s…..Guys, I have read this article, no need to send me emails telling me about it…He just happened to write just one line on Machchar Kumar and there is nothing else connected!
Abbe KK…..
since you are blogging from work I take it macchar refers to the other blood sucking creatures ie. bosses and co-workers
papa mummy ki permission milte hee main bhi film banaunga…. but i dont know how to convince my “mummy, papa, bua ji, fufa ji, mausi, billu bhaiya, kala kaua, gora bhalu etc”
Goverdhan,
Why you left old chaukidar ji of your school or colony and what about birds and so many other creatures. Man this way ecology balance will be disturbed. take care of all factors:d
Dilip Kumar also was not knowing how to convince his father and family when Devika Rani had asked him to join her film company. you seem to be in same boat
for your condition only, Chocolate had that song-
Mummy ko nahin hai pata to please Mummy se na kehna:d
Let me guess your age Kartik Krishnan ;)…Must be around 24-25 right?
Well…If you have any reservations about your talent, I suggest you stick to your safe job…..trust me, you will be more shocked here in the industry than your balls being stuck in the ice in arctic.
Not everyone who enters the industry thinks they are absolutely perfect with their talent or film making “gods” but they enter without any reservation and with “hope” and “confidence”….that they can learn and master the craft and one day achieve their dreams.
You heard about Jihadis? Suicide Bombers who are promised 72 virgins in heaven….All these strugglers are no one but Jihadis. They enter the industry with only one aim…karo ya maro…If you make it….then life with 72 wannabe actresses (can’t promise virgins) and unlimited wine! If you don’t make it…then life without all this ain’t worth living so no bad feelings…we atleast tried
So…All the best, you can continue your job and still be connected to the industry….Why not become a film critic?
KK…strange!! strange!!since last two days hav been moving from bed to sofa and sofa to bed but cant escape those machchars!! and that too only in my room. fan in full speed, good nite and kachua chaap agarbatti..even they r not working. dont know why. But will try again sleeping in d same room tonite. lets c. there is no other way out!!
Nice rant…keep posting ur rants.:d
Shabbash bete, aap toh uss machchar ki tarah cha gaye lol… good one dude…
hi, this is spinnerr from pune,
just went through ur blog ‘watching paanch and gulaal with anurag’
so fortunate ur.
still remember trailor of paanch
one dielog “kya chai piyega, to mereliye bhi ak bana”
and went through ur pics
the koeran film ur watching
is that MEMORIES OF MURDER by BONG JOON HOO.
PLEASE DO REPLY.
=))=))^:)^^:)^=d>=d>