MUMBAI STORIES 2 – Art for Art’s Sake
There was an auto-rickshaw strike the other day. The government wants them to change their mechanical fare meters into fancy electronic ones. So the union decided to flex its muscles. Suddenly the streets were empty of thousands of noisy gnats. My car driving friends were very happy they said they should be a permanent ban on them. But the people (like me) who are dependent on them were in a real fix. I saw people on the streets jostling with each other for that rare taxi.
I had this meeting with a big corporate film company. I had to go some faraway place to meet them. I tired in vain to borrow some transport from my friends. So finally, I decided to get a radio Cab (they are quite efficient). I told the driver to take me there and to bring me back.
So I arrived at my meeting on time and was ushered into a plush office. I sat there twiddling my thumbs until the chap I was supposed to meet came in. He sat down opposite me and started to stare at me. I looked at him too.
“How can I help you?” He said.
“We have a meeting don’t we?” I asked.
This had been fixed a few days ago over the phone, I had sent him the link to my website etc etc. I guess he hadn’t found the time in his busy schedule to read up on me before.
Never mind, I said and launched into a long, well rehearsed pitch about me and my projects.
He listened to me patiently.
“See we don’t make art for art’s sake.” He quipped
“Whaa?” I said.
“See here, phillums have to be commercial.”
Silence
“Have you ever made a film?” He asked wryly.
“Sure” I said ‘6 short fiction features, 2 documentaries, and 1 feature film
It premiered in Berlin, got three awards in diffrent festivals etc. I trained at the French State film school for 4 years.”
I pulled out the DVD of Hava Aney Dey from my holster, cocked it and held it out to him.
He took it from my hands, looked at it, turned it over and read all the printed matter in detail.
“Can I keep this for my library?”
Sure! I said Just don't copy it.
So, what's your concept?
Concept? I asked puzzled.
Yes, what’s the concept of your new script?
Well, I have a screenplay if you want to read it
No, no, just tell me the concept.
I have a dossier here with a tag line, synopsis, director’s note, treatment, technical specifications, estimated budget, possible co-production partners, director's bio, etc. Will that do?
He said, Saheb, here everything is verbal only.
This treatment-sheatment I know very well, they don’t mean anything. You just change the name and it can apply to any film.
Arey bro! It’s not like that. Every treatment is different and applies to the film concerned. That is the way the director tells how he sees the film. I spend a lot of time writing it so that you can see my vision. I said.
You tell me your concept and I’ll tell you if I like it or not.
So I told him my ‘concept’.
Have you approached any stars?
I said No, these aren't films for stars.
And if I had a star signed up, why would I come to you?
I would be talking to your bosses while you made the coffee I thought
Hmm! he said.
By the way take my email whenever you have any new concepts you email it to me, just three lines, and I'll tell you if I am interested in any of them. You can even tell all your friends to do that to me. I read all my emails on my own.
I said but I have two developed screenplays. One of them was selected by the Hubert Bals Fund of the Rotterdam film festival. Won’t you like to at least read them?
No, I don’t have the time. Here it is like that only!
Hmm, I thought. I remembered the radio taxi waiting downstairs the meter ringing up the figures, clicking away.
So? He asked.
I looked at him and smiled and then I said
You know the world over, writer/directors develop ideas, write scripts and then approach producers like you. If you like any of the scripts you sign them and produce the film. If you don’t then you say no and they go and see someone else
.
You want me to ask you to decide which film I should make? I told him.
He kept looking at me.
And then I asked “Could you tell me what your background is?’
“Advertising!” he said proudly.
“Cool’ I said, ‘where from?”
I had worked with the biggies in the late eighties and early nineties.
Well, it was later.
Oh ok, but where?
He told me the name of a smaller agency
Oh, that one! I said disdainfully.
And what did you do there?
Marketing!
Hmm! I said.
So you don’t have any film background?
No, he said. But I have done commercials?
Commercials? I said
But you just said you were in marketing.'
Well!
Hmm! I said. I should be going now.
Keep in touch, he said.
I left the plush building, half running to catch my radio cab. I sat in there as I drove home going over the strange meeting that I had.
I looked at his visiting card with his designation ‘Executive Producer’.
I wondered how he could have got that job and how he managed to do his work. I wondered about directors or writers who have to work with him.
I cut his visiting card into 1 inch strips and put them carefully in my wallet. They were going to be recycled into a greater use this evening. HARI OM!
The cab arrived outside my flat. I looked at the meter.
It said 456 rupees.
Anurag Kashyap
Abhay Deol
Dibakar Banerjee
Hansal Mehta
Khalid Mohamed
Kundan Shah
Anish Kuruvilla
Jaideep Verma
Manish Gupta
Navdeep Singh
Bhavani Iyer
D. Santosh
Onir
Ashvin Kumar
Ramu Ramanathan
Sudhir Mishra
Pankaj Advani
Revathy
Saurabh Shukla
Shilpa Shukla
Sujoy Ghosh
Suparn Verma
Santosh Sivan
Shashank Ghosh
Shivajee
Pavan Kaul
Partho Sen-Gupta
Prroshant Naryannan
Sam Langoria
Satish Kasetty
ps-ji saheb, there is no censorship, but our server issues. Gurudev kya tum bhi!
oz my man, just joking!
Hope you got the DVD of hava
PS-Ji saheb, saw hawa last night!!! Thank you for sending the film with the Maestro!!
psji,
tumhare “lowly” assitant ko bhi ek dvd bhej do yaar. i’ll pay in full. you take credit card? you have my address…
Lol…
Don’t have a lot to say man. But reading your piece was good.:-)
PSG, was able to watch most of hava over the weekend while the star himself was snoring away next to me.. must say enjoyed whatever i saw of it.. and the younger supporting lead (i think the star told me his name was aniket) had quite a bit of fresh charisma about him. and of course, the star’s leg pulling started once we saw him half naked on the DVD back cover