No “Dawn” This Don…Only Yawn!!!
Promises are meant to be broken is what I don’t believe in. Had Promised T! That I would like to join her for the Don. Friday is the day set to go. Still at work and it is 8:30 PM, call up T! And say it is getting very late and the earliest show we could go was the 11:00PM show. As soon as I hung up the phone, my cinema “cells” start pumping…. I had been waiting to watch Don for such a long time…. So, fuck work…. Call T! Tell her we can make it up for the 10:00PM show.
No time for dinner, go to the fucking theatre in OC (Which is one shit hole) sit and the “CHASE” Begins.
Motorola Razr beeps… Person answers it… I see the face… And whoa…. the face looks like it had been hit a zillion times. Something like someone has been practicing slapping on that face…. Don. Switches off the phone leave a fat tip and walk off…. where is the bomb? Where is the suitcase? You start expecting a new Don…. Let’s chase it…. the chase leads you to Chunkey”the monkey” Pandey who forgets to say “please” and is killed albeit some gay undertones from Don….what? Is Don gay? Nope he is not… It is SRK who acts gay. Proof? Yeah watch for the scene where he removes his shades and gives it to the bodyguard and with so much love in his eyes that would make my GF blush, asks him to keep it.
Fuck I am already tired of writing for Don…. It just doesn’t interest me anymore now…. that is what I felt after 10 mins of the movie. It was tooooo slow, the characters weren’t being built, the Don looks like a wannabe Bhai…. Don me of Chandu in Satya…. Nah its not good
Well for those who have seen the original Don…. it is no different from it sans the final few reels. But where is the Alpha male? Where is the Charisma of Don? Where is the aura that brings in with him whenever he walks into the room unannounced and people pee in their pants? Or was this Don was supposed to give boner to guys in the room? Don doesn’t bring in the aura with him when he walks in…. He brings in a sexuality with him…. sex is oozing from every cell and tissue of his body…. in any other movie it would have been good…. imagine Hero walking in any room oozing from sex and all the female characters go weak in knees… Now that is one helluva an actor I would say…. So, why am I cribbing about this? Because when Don walks into a room all the “MEN go weak in their knees…. they fall for the sexuality of Don…. All of a sudden you see everyone in there turn gay. That is Don for you in a nutshell…. throw in some “high-tech” shots (which apparently made T! goes….WTF?), some powerful dialogues( which looked silly when mouthed by our “new” Don), some hot females(our Don is not interested in them… as he is more “into” guys) and you got DON the chase begins….
So, what is it that goes wrong? But before coming to the bad points let me list the points that I liked in Don
Good point No. 1:-? Thinking…….:-? Gimme one minute meantime you list the bad points
Check “yes” the actors you thought were miscast
Kareena kapoor: Yes
Isha Koppikar : Yes
Priyanka Chopra: yes
Om Puri: Yes
Boman Irani: Yes
Pavan Malhotra: Yes
Arjun Rampal: Yes
Shah Rukh Khan: FUCK YES…THE BIGGEST MISCAST.
The biggest miscast award definitely goes to SRK. What the fuck was Farhan thinking when he cast SRK as Don? He just doesn’t have the alpha male qualities in him to make him a Don…. SRK…. you better stick to those “i am a college kid at 40 and i want the girlfriend of my bestfriend” kinda movies. Don is not your cuppa coffee.
Good Points No.1: :-? ohh i am so sorry…. but, please gimme one more second. :-? On second thought gimme one more minute and let me :-?
Bad Point No.2: What a fucked up scene was that with the “bad shoe” thingy… the gunshot was so kool in the original… Here with a golf ball? WTF moment number 2!( Many more to come)
Good Point No:1 :-? :-? :-? Tick tock tick tock
Bad Point No. 3: Check the Priyanka Chopra intro shot. Couldn’t editing have been a bit better here. She is literally standing in the frame for the director to say “Action” and after 1.2367 seconds she starts her martial arts bruce-leeish karate. WTF Moment again
Good Point No: 1 :-? :-? :-? Tick tock tick tock
Bad Point No. 54(so many in between that i was already finished with my 4 samosas and a large coke): Lux days follow SRK here…. We HAD to see SRK in a bathtub with clean shaven chest and hard nipples….fuck. Wtf Moment
Good point No.1: :-? :-? :-? Fuck man… Its just 19 seconds… And you have already come up with 54 bad points? I feel like the movie is well into its second hour
Yes my dear viewers the movie is well into its second hour and i am literally with a microscope to find ONE good point….Farhan please gimme one….one…just one.
Bad Point No.60: Kareena with her heavy duty make up, thunder thighs, plunging neckline tries to seduce the Don… But wait a second…. Our Don is Gay….wtf was that? Well if you notice our Don does try to ravage her but just when he is about to pull his zipper down he realizes that Ohh my God Its a Girl
Good Point No.1: :-? :-?( Time to give up)
Bad Point no…… shit lost count: The Chase…. the real chase where Boman tries to nab Don with a platoon of cops with him…. they are at a pee’s distance from the Don and amazingly within a second only Boman can nab Don…… Wow a classic case of “COPS GONE MISSING”
Good Point No.2:( I cant find the first good point so let me try for the next closest one): :-? :-? Shit what have i got myself into…. Fuck
Bad Point no. 34K21: Enter Vijay…. Pan eating…. Benarasi Babu….Thats all i wanna say…. you go watch it. Ohh please don’t forget the 2 lbs of puff powder and 1.89 lbs of super glue to make that powder stick on his face.
Good Point No. 2: yeah got it…. SRK as Vijay (Good Point…. I am so sorry this should be your point…. Please pardon me for stealing this from you….)
Bad Point again: Roma hijacks Don from the ambulance…. Breathtaking….had it not been for her to act like a construction worker guiding the crane to lift the WHOLE FUCKING AMBULANCE. She has all the time in the world to do so and she doesn’t even carry a weapon. Wow that is the terror she is…. Farhan please listen to this…. Slick action moments become slick when they are done at a breakneck speed… and not in slo-mo…End of chapter PERIOD
Good Point No.1: Sorry Bad Point i had to come back to BP No.1 as i thought about SRK as Vijay… and though i still do not have one point to my credit… i still want to donate it to you… you deserve it more.
Bad Point No. (:| Only Two guards on the plane carrying International drug peddlers. WTF moment again
Good Point: That’s it i give up…. Forgive me everybody… believe me i tried real hard… but Nah…. I feel very miserable here.
Bad Point : Arjun Rampal conveniently forgetting that he has a limp… and surprisingly always throws kick…. and what kick… all flying kicks… wow Farhan ^:)^
Don jumps from the plane with another goon… and where the fuck does the parachute come from huh? huh? huh?
The final fight sequence: No one hears the chopper until it is right next to your ears…. wow soundless chopper… some scientist out there is real proud of you Farhan…. Believe me… he is really proud of you.
Good Point: i got one…. i got one…. i got one…… The ending did startle me.
Bad Point: Did it make any sense to you…. idiot look back and add 1 plus 1 what do you get? 5?
GP: I don’t care about it… everyone is going to talk about it.
BP: God bless them all!!!!!
There are countless number of points in between the movie… that makes you go WTF? Where is the chemistry between deepu and Vijay…. why would anyone think that Vijay would do all this for Deepu if he hadn’t seen the original Don…. On second thoughts… was it a re-make or a sequel? Sequel because Farhan assumed everybody had seen the earlier Don and took the story from there without building the characters. T! Made a very valid point here… It felt as if you were watching two different movies… First movie = First Half… Second Movie = Second half…… To me both were shitholes……
Warning: Watch Don at your Own risk.
Fuck who am i to warn you….to all the movie fanatics me warning is like pouring water on a reversed pot. You still are gonna watch it… and vent you anger on this articles comment section……
Anurag Kashyap
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Ashvin Kumar
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Pankaj Advani
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Shilpa Shukla
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i admire you guys cos you people have good stamina to seat through crap movies ;-) where as i cannot. i normally do not watch movies that i think are crap (i am usually right about that).
this kind of movies are always F graded but it’s the star power that makes it A graded.
@ HG on a lighter note… Dont you sit through RGV movies…lol.. Dont lie now…lol
(we getting to understand each others sense of humor, nice!)
and you guys do as well! Last RGV movie I saw was Naach.
(anyway goodnight!)
Gotcya.. Happy Diwali.
Vincent Vega says – “What a gyp” :((
Thanks sumeet for going through the same pain which i went yesterday. I’m still recovering from the shock of the movie !!!
I posted this in the earlier Don’s review by Faltu ….
”
SRK is more like a bully – school child, who makes faces when he is punished …. whose parents are called repeatedly by the principal… and the child says with the innocence of Bhagwan krishna “Mayya mori, main nahi maakhan khaayo !!!”
He as don is as exciting and convincing/super cool as Jim Carry as James Bond !!!! Imagine that …. ”
What do u say ??? And yes … don SRK does look like Chandu in satya … except that cuteness is replaced with gayness and stupidity !!!
Apparently, Big B, too, didn’t like the remake and gave Farhan a cold shoulder after the special screening.Phew!
whoa wait :-t chandu in satya? chandrakant nagre (chandu) was in company, not satya. am i missing something here?? :-\
I guess he meant Bhiku Mhatre
i’m afraid i do sit thru all of ramu’s movies… even his crappy ones. i have a weird fascination with ramu’s movies that i’m not sure anyone could understand.. and that’s not to say i love every movie of his.. it REALLY surprises me that he can produce a “mr.ya miss” after a superb “ek haseena thi” or a “james” or “shiva 2006″ after a “sarkar”. but i refuse to give up on him.. surprises me even more as to what he sees in mohit and nisha.. i swear i’m going to meet ramu one day.. just once.. even if it’s only for a minute….
well it looks like the repetitive words and phrases in the review makes me believe that words are methods of convincing the subconscious mind(that SRK is gay..)
i think, sumeet meant tapori Chandu (Snehal Dabi) in Satya. He played Rickshawallah in Mast, or that fake filmi agent in Love Ke Liye Kuch Bhi Karega.
thanks sumeet, i had a good diwali. hope you and everyone had a blast of day as well.
back to the review… neither of you nor faltu have (in details) have said anything about Khaike Paan song. So my question is, does this version have that naughty feel to it? Cos it does not sound like it and the way it was pictured – it seemed like a party song!
Today was watchin Hera Pheri..and this Snehal fellow…gosh…his antics at the bus stop when he says “mast photu wotu dikhao na and yahaan to saala idli chai se garam hai…are hilarious” He is damn too funny!
The probem with watching a movie in theatre is you cannot forward the songs and the advantage of watching the movie on DVD is you can forward the songs. I watched Don (78) on DVD and I did not forward the songs and I watched DON (2006) in theatre and I so badly wanted to forward them.
Khaikee paan banaras waala is not a rocking song in DOn (2006).
-Punds
Yes i was talking about the Chandu guy in Satya who gets killed.. the guy who tells the Joke of Ram and Shyam..
@HG… It is better that both me and Punds didnt mention about the Khaike song… too fucking pathetic.. everyone was just going thru the motions SRK included… Priyanka had a look on her face ” just get it over with”.. that is what i was thinking too.
Moreover the lyrics go… “Nikale the halwa Khane..muh he jal gaya hain”
There is no fucking context of SRK/Priyanka going out to eat halwa… Imagine Khaike in Malayasia.. fuck man.. See the movie.. see the ending.. and try to figure why the Fuck SRK does the song the way he did.. How the fuck can he do that? Just fucking doesnt make any sense.. Damn.. fuck forget it.. if i continue i ma waste my beautiful sunday morning
@Fourthwall… I do not have any problem with the sexuality of SRK in personal life.. he can be whatever he wants to be.. But, Don wasnt portrayed the way everyone had imagined Don to be. DOn..DOn..DON…DON… just try thinking of this word..name.. what image do you get in your mind? An alpha male.. a male who conquers the whole world and gives shit about anything else.. right? Now go watch the Don 2006 movie and let me know what you felt.. Fuck my review.. dont even care about it.. Just think of DON…DON…DON….DON… and then tell me what you felt.. would be eager to know your opinion
I never saw the original Don, so I can make no comparisons between the old and the new, nor do I have enough time or care to write my own post. So, here are some random thoughts about the movie.
First, as Sumeet pointed out, SRK just looked bad. Was he sick? Did someone beat him before the shoot? And, when he first appears as Vijay his skin has a sickly pallor, on occasion he looked just as white while playing Don. How is it possible for one of the world’s most beautiful men to look so bad? During the second half he looked great, as if he either dialed in the scenes he filmed for the first half, or he really was sick and only recovered during the second half. Maybe someone just switched his makeup artist?
And, I did point out to Sumeet that I felt I saw two movies; SRK wasn’t the only person who just showed up on the set for the first half of the film, so did the entire cast and crew. The first half was painfully slow, the second picked up the pace. There was little character development in the first half, only an introduction to stereotypes. Only in the second half did some of the actors warm up and begin to do something that resembled acting. Only in the second half of the film did you get the slightest idea that you were watching an action flick, and that is only because there was fighting and explosions.
Which leads me to another thought. What is the point in filming car chases and action shots in slow motion? Car chases are supposed to be fast, not day-dream inducing. And, the fight scenes were lifted directly from my last game of Mortal Kombat. Dude, that only costs me $1.00 at Dave and Busters….
I love what Japanese and Taiwanese filmmakers are doing in stretching the limits of digital technology, especially in their horror films. But, why does every filmmaker think that lifting the stuttering camerawork first really used to good effect in “The Grudge” is creative and new. Not only is this a technique I am tired of seeing, whoever is to blame for using this throughout Don really needs to take some elementary filmmaking classes. These scenes reminded me of Ray Harryhausen’s stop-motion techniques and not some new and exciting development in digital film technology.
I was polite throughout most of the film by not laughing out loud on the many, many occasions that I wanted to. One of the funniest scenes in the film was the song Main Hoon Don. First, the use of badly designed 1970’s costumes throughout the film was TOTALLY distracting to me. But, Don walks in wearing purple velvet, Roma and Anita wearing badly designed 1960’s inspired dresses and dancing to badly realized 1950’s dance steps, and Don, singing a song about how tough he is with a flirtatious smirk he doesn’t look dangerous, just silly. And, I kept waiting for Heather Graham to dance in with her white go-go boots. That said, I also kept wondering who let Mike Myers do the costume design for this film.
I finally let out a loud snicker toward the end when the helicopter appeared. Because, throughout the entire film, watching a thousand clichés, I knew the helicopter had to appear at some point, and when it did it was introduced badly, and I was thinking the only reason helicopter made an appearance is because the producer figured every action film needs one, not because it served any purpose.
I could go on and on, but I will spare you. I will point out that I loved the story, too bad that it appeared that no one else associated with making this film loved the story as well – only their egos, the profits, and in the case of the director, his showcasing the fact that he watches too much American TV (really, he lifted so many shots directly out of “24”) and too many American action films to care about story development or all the wasted talent associated with this production…
Copied 24? Kya besharam log hain. Koi kasar nahi chohdi. Who have we left?
Hey Sumeet.I understand what you are saying man.But I guess Farhan’s interpretation of Don is completely different.He gave an early glimpse of how his new Don would be,remember the small ballet stint by SRK in the opening scene.Or when he says -the phone is mine- to Kareena obsessively.Definitely he doesnt want it to be like old Don,but whether it worked or not,is all together diff thing.I feel SRK as Vijay failed but as Don he saved the film in his own way.
Well believe me,people in the theater went ga ga when SRK re-entered as Don.And remember this is a single screen theater in Hyderabad.Whether ppl might have really liked him or the common man of India suddenly realised his sexual orientation :-? Just kidding.;)
Movie as a whole,I am neither disappointed nor satisfied.I mean we shouldnt blame Farhan also, man.Its just that his sensibilites doesnt work with this kind of movie.He made the movie more realistic and believable than the original,come on, the original is just a masala pulp fiction sans AB.(I dont know,but I feel the twin towers footage through out the movie was Farhan’s visual homage to the concept of the movie and I really liked it).On a whole,its not that bad movie either as projected in MSM or in blogosphere.Worth a watch once.
Honhaar, I don’t read Hinglish or speak Hindi….translate for me please!
well didn’t get to watch Don – missed the showing by 15 min so went along to see Jaan-E-Maan instead .. anyone interested in a quick review can read mine at http://fluffyslippers.blogspot.com/2006/10/film-review-jaan-e-maan-2006.html
@Fouthwall
“.He gave an early glimpse of how his new Don would be,remember the small ballet stint by SRK in the opening scene.Or when he says -the phone is mine- to Kareena obsessively”
My little mind couldnt get what Farhan was trying to say i guess.. What do you think Farhan had in mind as the interpretition of Don? A feminine? A Metrosexual? A hyper-Narsscisist?
None of which made sense to me.. if anyone helps me understand Don..the persona.. I promise that i will go back and sit though the movie all over again(which is like asking myself to sit on fireballs for 3 hrs..but will do it.)
sorry t!, i meant,
How shameless people can be! They have not left any efforts in copying.
This is funny.. I just got a message on my Orkut… where this cousin of mine was asking
” Did you see Don? Heard Farhan didnt make SRK look like a DON but DONkey”
=))
though i havent seen the movie i thought i would just comment on the review given by sumeet.its the first time i have read ur review and trust me , it is a very good one. and i think that the phenomena of giving a new treatment to an old subject whether it stars shahrukh khan or aamir khan rarely succeeds. the bigger the star , the more severe is the fall. personally from what i have heard from my friends and the new Don is miles away frm the old one and that the plain truth.
In reality Farhan Akhtar has made Shahrukh Khan a
DONkey
Thanks Adwait.. I cannot say about other Re-make projects.. but this did have a severe fall. Confused mind at work…Farhan
i was watching Chor Machaye Shor (1974) and I found that in one of the song Shashi Kapoor is wearing exactly same as pink SRK
jeeez, i bet if we put our all minds together we would find that each seconds of the movie is copied from…
Did you see DON twice?
It might be fun, as this article seems to suggest:
http://www.indiafm.com/features/2006/11/06/1794/index.html
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