One night at the cinemas – What If?
It was April 2003.
I was on a 2 weeks vacation – away from all the blamestorming project meetings, chaotic production moves, war-rooms and the midnight VoIP calls – visiting my in-laws and parents.
They both live in the same town – makes scheduling stuff easier for me – and that place is the most movie maverick town in A.P. besides Vijayawada.
Most of the old school and senior movie dignitaries hail from, or have contacts with, this place. As the legend goes – the fate of a new Telugu cinema, especially if it is burdened by star value, is decided here. The opinion of the people from this town is THE WORD.
Anyways, that April, one evening, I tugged my Dad out to watch a movie – I love watching movies and deconstructing them later – especially with him (flames).
And I picked one with an obscure nevertheless intriguing name. Curiosity used to be my middle name.
Wading through the snail paced traffic we arrived at the theater (cinema hall, as it’s called there) a bit late – the tickets were still on sale.
I got the tickets and we stepped in – the teethy gate guy tried to let us in without tearing the tickets – some more time wasted there making him rip the tickets and give us the stubs.
Rip it! Up yours!!
The poor door guy was pissed – hated my guts – gave up – gave me the torn stubs – and wouldn’t come in with his torch to show us the seats.
Unperturbed by the darkness and the narrow steps we groped our way in like zombies and parked ass at the first available seats we could see/feel.
Rambha was strutting on the screen, shamelessly promoting some “pattu” saree house.
The movie was yet to begun. As our eyes adjusted to subdued lighting inside we noticed that the theater was empty but for us – no wonder the gate guy was reluctant to tear the tickets.
My Dad tugged at my sleeve and asked me if I am sure about wanting to watch this movie – there are no crowds and that in my home town means that the movie is no good.
“Yes. It has Pavan Malhotra.” I really love his acting. But was I thinking right?
I picked a movie with the most obscure name trying to avoid the folks (read my mom and wife) who would want to join my Dad and I on our “intended to be a boys only” outing.
What if this the two wifes’ curse trying to catch up?
I refused to be discouraged – told myself “no, yo, let’s watch it,” and pretended to be engrossed by Rambha’s never ending saree collection.
She is trying to look captivated by a wall decoration – which by the way looks like a tchochki art gallery piece – wearing a blue silk saree (with a shimmering green pallu) and a “very strategically on-display” green blouse.
Hmmm! Some blouse!! I wonder if she’s holding her breath??
Sandalwood Brothers (makers of these saree-wares) – my my… these crazy guys apparently have shit loads of money to burn – and fetch Rambha to showcase their silks!! I wished I was in the saree making business instead of IT.
Why the hell didn’t I choose textile engineering??
That extremely glamorous and utterly stupid ad, for whatever reason, was being shown again – the second time.
Rambha was acting shy and coy – trying to woo the invisible and/or imaginary husband (played by the camera in this case) – in a suhaag raat room.
A strange thought – nothing unusual for me, I am famous among my friends for these – crossed my mind. What if Hugh Hefner was hired by Sandalwood Brothers to make this ad?!
Can’t help it people – White is my color!
My Dad apparently didn’t like the Rambha ad as much as I did. He pulled at me again – “we should have gone to watch Okkadu (one man) again.”
“Poof” – my dirty thoughts and the associated mental imagery disappeared up in the air like a thin wisp of smoke – I mumbled back – “You know I’ve already watched it, Dad. Twice!”
“Ottesi Chebutunna (cross my heart – hope to die) seems to be a good comedy as well” – the movie was released at the same time as this one and Dad I guess is trying to throw me a bone, give me a lifeline, show me a safe exit, or whatever the damn expression is.
“We’ll watch it later” – we did, the very next day – this time with our spouses in tow. More about this later.
“Gangotri has had some good reviews”, Dad apparently is not so sure of watching this movie anymore.
Arrgh!!!! “I really don’t want to talk about Gangotri, Dad” – I know he knows what I meant.
Ran out of options and movie names, he left me alone and started trying to read his book in that darkness – he always carries a book with him whenever he is outside, and reads it everywhere, even if he gets a five minute respite doing whatever task that he is doing, even when that task is “watching a movie” – phew! Glad my mom is not here. She hates it when he does that.
The projectionist took pity on us and started the movie, after running the Rambha ad three times (God bless the man!!).
Dad closed his book, got all attentive . Finally!!!
Title credits are done with – so far so good.
Pavan Malhotra is planning something. He is playing Irfan Khan, a mafia boss. Great!
There is a skirmish – shoot out at airport. Well shot!
Oh! Sivaji Raja is playing an Intelligence Bureau agent – and, surpirise surprise, he talking like one. Intelligent. Not silly! No extras! Now, who wrote the dialogues again?
“Alright“, I tell myself “screw the analysis already – let me just watch the movie faggawdssake!” BTW, what was the name of the director?
And suddenly – dinchuk dinchuk daa – it was INTERVAL!
Man, can’t wait for the second half to begin.
However, time to step out and sneak a quick smoke – puff, puff – and a stingy squirt of that mouth freshening spray (yuck!) to camouflage the tobacco aroma – and yes get some samosas and feel guilty later for eating them.
Back in my seat and the slideshow is on – “the seat in front of you is not a foot rest” pontificates the theater management on a 8×8 hand written glass slide – yeah right!
The movie is back with a sudden whirring sound and a jarring shake.
I lost myself in the story until after THE END!
WOW! Holy cow! What a movie! Gotta watch it again.
Thus, I went home, determined to double dekko the movie, this time with wife.
Went home talking about the movie – sold the movie to my folks by endlessly raving about it during the dinner and went to bed thinking about the similarities I have noticed between Suicide Kings and this movie.
Next day I returned to theater with my wife and my parents only to find that the movie is no longer there.
A star brother, who is a mega ticket himself, has a new release scheduled in a week or so and his fans have taken control of the theater already – to make the place all glittery; good enough for their star’s directorial debut.
Disappointed we went and watched another movie (Ottesi Chebutunna) playing near by.
And I had to listen to my wife’s never ending nagging about this episode – as if it’s my fault that they’ve stopped showing the movie – until I bought the DVD of the movie, an year later. That is a different (and somewhat personal) story though.
Aithey (what if) is a master piece, different, path breaking, and true to its tag line – anni sinimaalu okaelaa vunDavu (not all movies are same).
Too bad! That awesome movie went unnoticed by the people in my home town – and that’s when I reminded myself yet another time to ignore the vox populi – as it was with Star Wars, Indra, etc – and trust my own instincts.
[Next Related Post : Yeleti, Aithey, AOR]
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really liked the manner in which u built it up …
Yeah when it comes to good and unnoticed movies .. which are removed within the first week… trust me WB .. been there ’seen’ that !!!
Yes i have seen pavan malhotra acting in some south indian films… Wats more … so have ashish vidyarthi, sonu sood, Ayesh takia .. etc etc
Paison key liye kuch bhi karega????
- WB, Your post itself is a great platform for a screenplay… what if? what if Rambha jumps from the screen….. sits in your lap and starts painting some fida kinda painting… :d – adding the movie to “must watch list” – now only if there were any subtitles. :((
Liked your take, a hat-ke article on PFC.
While still on the theatre film viewing experience, I have had few:
-GUPT, first day first show, a loser gets up in the interval, and starts shouting(in broken language) , “murdarr KAJOL ne kiya hai!”
-Deewangee-same as above- “AJAY DEVGAN NAATAK KAR RAHA HAI, YAHI VILLIAN HAI!”
-The Ghost & Darkness(in a halloween retrospective), a 20-something love-bird romeo juliet whispering ,”shit! so many ppl r here, by the title it sounded like a sleazy B grade horror film noone wud go for”
-Dil Se(!), a stinking rickshaw wallah sits next to me, casually takes off his shirt(no sex follows) and taango-fies on the next empty chair, and lazily asks while yawning, “picture shuru ho gayi kya?! pata nahi kya bakwaas film lag rahi hai….baahar badi baarish ho rahi thi isliye andar aa gaya(!!!)”…and it goes on, til the END, which obviously is followed by humble showering of abuses from our man, “b*&@c*&d! kya c&%*#a film hai, pata nahi kis g@#$%u ne banaayi hai!”
-more recently, yesterday i am watching World Trade Centre, n two uberkool NIKE-sporting yo dude’s keep commenting like all they did all their lives was watch CNN…”dude, this didnt happen”…”dude, how come there is no traffic jam on NY streets”…”dude, this is so dumb, why is CAGE walking like a cowboy when he is playing a cop”….”fuck! why didnt they show the plane crashing into the towers!”
“Aithe” was sure one master piece..I liked AOR too..especially songs “Evaraina choosuntaaranadise nakshatranni”..amazing.
@OZ why don’t you watch it with Sumeet..I am sure he will be of some help. I am very confident you will ike this movie
“Aithe” is definetly one of the best telugu movies in recent times. tight screenplay and gr8 acting by every one(I think most of them were acting in their first movie). If you have liked this movie i recommend you to watch “Annukokunda Oka Roju” (Achanak Ek Din – I guess thats hindi equivalent of the title) its a nice movie hope you will like it.
Ohh wow WB… this a unique and entertaining presentation you have given..loved it.
I didnt like Aithe though… Too legthy…too draggy most of the times, and Pavan Malhotra iriitated me. Though he was magnificient in Anukokunda Okka Roju. AOR is a must see for everyone… The film doesnt have a language..even without subtitles you can follow the the movie..The movie talks about itself…it doesnt need characters to speak the “obligatory” dialogues…Some funny-ass comic incidences in the movie…Waiting for you next post on AOR
KK – Thank you, boss. I always get upset at the “masses” when good honest movies go unnoticed. I was really ticked off when they removed “aithey” and in fact stopped playing any movie for one whole day for the sake of a “big” movie – Jhonny. More so when I saw that movie after a month.
I am actually okay with Pavan Malhotra, Ashish Vidyarthi, Sonu Sood, And Ayesha Takia acting in South movies. They bring good acting and or glamour to the party and get criminally fat pay checks. Money is not everything – but money, a lot of it, can be real useful, if you have it. Let’s take Prakash Raj as an example. Big name in South today. He accepts and acts in every movie that comes his way. He charges big time. He then channles the money into producing good “sensible” movies to satiate his passion. Good strategy – Robin Hood style! I have a full pager on this guy – in the pipeline.
BTW, one confession – I really envy you… for your “command” over the bard.
Oz – what if Rambha jumps from the screen… starts brazilian waxing me, and then decides to leave it half done because she thinks that the patchy blotchy mess looks like a hairy mural?
My copy of Aithey has subtitles – “All your bases are belong to us” style. Helps if you have a Gult – Sumeet, may be, as Sudha suggested – standing close by to give you the drift.
Tushar – Thanks for the kind words. The theater experinece seems to be a good thread for our forums.
=)) reading your Dil Se experience.
Sudha – I loved the song “righto lefto” – especially the way it breaks and spans over two episodes.
varun – You’re right! Most of them were acting for the first time. Shahshank, one of the boys, acted again in “Achanak Ek Din”.
OM You are a good man – too kind! Thank you. One of my friends, who recently read my scribbles on PFC, opined that I am not being myself. Just thought I’d loosen up a little bit. Was kind of scared that it would turn people off. Relieved to know that I am excused.
BTW, I am surprised to hear that you felt Aithey was too lengthy. But, sorry mate, looks like you gonna have to watch it again ( :p zzzzz) for Oz.
Wonderful WB
Yeleti is another Engineer turned Director.
Hey WB which town was that? Guntur??
@FOurthwall…I think it is Nellore…Huge mass following for Chiru..And as WB pointed out..the other movie being Johnny of Pavan Kalyan.. I guess the town is Nellore
hey WB, this stuff needs more footage!
lets start documenting our theatre (ad)ventures!
i dont think many even read this stuff :((
Fourthwall – Yeleti is an engineer too?!! Good karma! :-” May our ilk grow! BTW, the town, as OM mentioned, is Nellore.
Tushar – :(( :(( :(( Dekh WaBira roya!
;)
i can only say u took me on a ride, a long smooth ride into my childhood days in my village near rajahmundary…ma oollo cinemalu kuda thisaru telusa??:p (films are shot in our village, u know):d/..
and speaking about “aithey” i went for that film just for the sake of the producer(gunnam gangaraju), i liked his little soldiers movie and it’s songs so much that i cursed our audience for not lapping it up, this time i was hell bent to cut atleast 100 tickets in my name, fell short though…
making this kind of movie is a tough task…only people who has the courage and conviction can attempt…the screenplay and the intelligence with which it was edited was amazing…got to give it to yeleti for this plot and treatement, his next was even better AOR…
the moment i got out of the theater, some of my cood dude, yeappie friends asked me “hey, howz the movy”, i can say only one thing instnctively….u identified urself with ‘dil chahtha hai’ which i immensely enjoyed but i identified myself more with ‘aithey’
btw..pls. don’t get too professional in ur writing, keep that touch of ur’s, that way everyone is happy..
btw..prakash raj, “have a full pager on this guy” waiting for this and ur take on AOR..
no rush though…
jai // thank you. will write sooner than later.