PROJEKT iVIEW : Angry Barabar Doctor
iVIEW AUTHOR:
Dr. Tushar Patel (Bombay, India)
email:
withheld
Hello everyone on PFC! I am Tushar. I am writing this blog after receiving overwhelming inspiration from watching a Yashraj blunder flamboyantly named Jhoom bara bar Jhoom. This is not my attempt to connect with members of PFC or independent cinema fans but is my direct feedback to the people responsible for making this waste of money and time. One of my film maker friend had advised me 2 years ago not to criticize directors as I have not directed a film myself so far….so now respecting his word of wise I am writing this blog as member of audience. …hope he wont mind this.…
Who the fuck I am .?????????? I am someone who has been brought up on the regular diet ( to the extent of becoming Obese because of it ) of so called commercial Indian cinema. Most of the people around me don’t even bother seeing anything that doesn’t have songs, dance and stars…. Not even on tv or dvd…. My childhood favourite films were those starring Mithun ( still my favourite actor). ….But who the fuck I am ??? well I am a monumental failure in my life so far. How and why is immaterial for this blog. The fact is that I am a fucking Big fat ass failure…this haunts me all the time with the following exception…..
Its when I watch a good film. It can be commercial cinema or the independent cinema. It doesn’t matter. They make me realize my contribution towards the making of good cinema. And what the hell is my contribution. U fuck! I am paying to watch a film. I am the biggest contributor to the cinema (my apologies for coming across a grandiose or narcissist but let me assure u all that its going to be short lived)…I AM THE FUCKIN AUDIENCE/VIEWER/JANTA JANARDAN. Take your pick. I thought they made films to entertain me. But all that grandiosity vanished in thin air like a fart from my big fat ass the moment film started….
Here is what I have to say to the people responsible for making JBJ with the grandiose hope that at least one of them will read this blog.
To the writer- I thought writers were sensitive souls…writers were responsible for writing great lines ….writers were the architect of a society…writers made entertainment possible… how can we do without writers… all horse’s shit… all this ideals went for a toss the moment your assault called JBJ began…Sir do u know what place Princess Diana has in the heart of billions of people irrespective of their nationality, colour and cast or religion throughout the world… probably not…because if you knew u wouldn’t have made mockery of one of the most sensitive and tragic incident of our times….. or is it that she isn’t Indian so it doesn’t matter to u… but sir you were writing a film targeted at british audience( poor Indian audience..YRF has forgotton them.. may be happened for the best if this is how they treat their targeted audience)….or is it that you don’t consider people living in Southall as britishers…now you will argue that they are Indians at their heart.. to that sir did you consider the negative effects of your insensitive rascial writing on the people in Southall… what about all rascist comments against Pakistanis… do u think that will bring these two warring countries closer… may be u do sir… ya may be… and what is your name sir ….I forgot…. And finally sir why were you so restrained while writing a line like…mera 11 bar sex ho chukka hai… you should have gone ahead and pushed the envelop and write MAIN 11 BAR THUKWA CHUKI HU…our censor board is more liberal now a days.. lot of independent film makers would have supported u.. especially those whose films were banned and whose careers were sabotaged because of references to masturbation in their film…..what do u know about all those writers…
To Mr Yash Chopra- You were our pride sir… you gave us salim javed’s Deewar and our own angry young man… you also made our very own romantic superstar known for his song delivery do a songless film at the pick of his career and more …u made our very own angry young man to do actionless romantic and complex films when distributors were shouting from rooftop for action in his films.. u also made most romantic films kabhi kabhie, lamhe, daag of our times… against the popular beliefs and conventions of their respective times… sir what made you create such a farce called YRF producing junkies like JBJ…one after another.. is it money … but you repeatedly keeps saying you don’t make films for money at this stage of your illustritious film career…Sir how can you produce a film so derogatory and offensive towards Pakistan after claiming Veerzara…sir people from Pakistan were leaving cinema half way through…my Pakistani colleagues in London are upset with me ….what wrong I did sir… sir I understand you have been honoured by British government and in coming years are likely to receive knighthood for promoting tourism for their country… so were you not aware what princess Diana means to British people…oh ! may be sir you didn’t read the script.. may be you are a good producer who gives full freedom to your writers and director… one advise sir- next time you give this kind of money to anyone kindly consider to give it to a youngster amongst thousands who spends their time and youth discussing cinema as if they had cinema in their veins and not blood at prithvi, barista, CCD ..or someone who at least know his ass from his mouth…
To Mr Aditya Chopra- get around this….AND GET IT NOW… By having all superstars ready to work for you without hearing the script , by producing many films at a time ..or by having the remote control in your own hand you cant become great film maker because cinema is not made for tv which can be controlled by remote control…get real… direct again…oops…not mohabatten…………did you really make DDLJ…
To Mr Shaad Ali—why were you absent throughout the proceedings.. oh!!!! I forgot you were busy dancing around… sir you have great legacy to live upto and so be responsible towards Indian audience…watch umrao jaan… again and again and again….. it’s a textbook in film making….to know where we come from is more important than claiming to be making a film with attitude…sir none of your characters have attitude so how the hell your film can have an attitude… remember films are about people and hence the characters…not the way around as u seems to be thinking … u just seems to okaying the cars , sets and costumes without paying any attention to the characters….sir they are to be selected according to the demands of the characters and the story and not other way around…assisting mani ratnam can expose anyone to the various techniques of camera and editing but how and where to use them cant be taught…it all comes from your story and more importantly by knowing what you want to communicate as a storyteller…sir what was the finale song sequence which repeats the same song in different versions for four times without any screenplay written for them… sir please watch some of the Nasser hussain films or Sooraj Barjatya’s HAHK which will teach you how story can be moved forward… don’t worry they are not art house cinema ..they are all commercial films …sir can u explain me why only poor Lara dutta’s character had to give kisses to both heroes and why not prity zinta’s character didn’t have to kiss despite she claiming to have sex 11 times in her 30 years of life…….daal main bahut kuch kaala hai…I also happen to read your statement in METRO( a LONDON DAILY) stating that in the film you have tried to explore the hearts of people living in Southall… no sir ..let me correct you you didn’t….. to explore heart means one has to explore lives of people…..possibilities in their lives…their aspitrations and dreams….what makes u think u did that sir…if you had tried to explore the hearts you could have won their and million others heart…and why the title JBJ ..I mean there is not a single descent dance sequence…oh! I forgot you set out to make a film with attitude…so much for the attitude……
To Mr Abhishek Bacchan-you recently acted in Guru and did well for yourself. We all know sir that the script of Guru was altered to avoid hurting ambani’s sentiments and writers were thrown out sir…Sir then why didn’t you do something similar to avoid hurting the sentiments attached with Princess Diana as mentioned above.. sir you broke the heart of my friend Nafeesa by mouthing lines derogatory and offensive to the people of Pakistan…a 17 year old who is aspiring to act opposite you…Sir may be u want to remind yourself of which family you come from……it is the greates legacy we other indians can not even dare to dream of … Grandson of Mr Harivanshrai Bachhan… one line from his poem has kept me alive till today..or I would have ended my life three years ago… son of Jaya Bacchan…our own mili..our own guddi…every week I see her performance in hazaron chorasi ki ma ……what an artist…simple and sincere…..
To Dear Mr Amitabh Bacchan- sir please retire..this is not meant to question your undeniable acting powers but a very painful request… why to make fun of yourself…u r very welcome to Jhoom but sir we dont’t seems to think JBJ is any showcase of your Jhoom Abilities….my main fear is that slowly but surely people will start putting u in a very offensive bracket of actors who refused to retire at a right time…I know u did the film for YC as he resurrected your career with Mohabbaten and your son’s career with Dhoom and BAB but sir don’t forget your responsibilities to your audience whom you have always held responsible for your success with great modesty………Sir think about your poor distributors who has to give higher price for your TAILOR MADE APPEREANCES IN VERY MUCH UNTAILORED COSTUMES…we still very much admire you when you support films like Swami, Lagaan etc by landing your baritone voice….hope u will understand my anguish…….
To the audience who went to see this flick including myself – we should be ashamed of letting YRF think that they can continue to make this kind of cinema and that they can do anything with our money. Of course its our money……. But seems gone are the days when commercial filmakers made films for us the audience. They are assaulting our sensibilities by making films to enable stars to travel around the world. And we lock our self in a cinema hall for precious two hours watching them travel around the world encouraging the world to think that we Indians are Cretins who cant distinguish between our ass and our mouth…… Personally I felt bigger failure than before after watching this assault on me and my fellow audience……After failing as a son, as a brother, as a friend and as a lover now I have achieved to fail my grandiosity as well… I am fuckin failure as a AUDIENCE…….I lost my cherry some years ago but today I lost my innocence about commercial cinema… they are not going to anything about this….the question is what am I going to about this………. I really don’t have a answer…..
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23 Responses to “PROJEKT iVIEW : Angry Barabar Doctor”
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agree completely..
story may be but treatment and approach towards the flick always remained same in Yashraj film.. Every film is unique because directed by special director..director gets respect if he takes his guard and creates solely different cinema (as visal bhardwaj, anurag kashyap n basu…and greatest satyjit ray. many more).. Whereas films comes from yrf never seemes as director movies call it ego of the legacy or dictatorship of aaditya chopra even of yash raj chopra.. whatever the inside story but sitting outside as audience we can easily guess.
In government official census, they had shown that no. of cinemagoers in India decreased around 30%; it is in millions (months back in yojna magazine)..Seeing as they started to understand real pictures and basics, hopefully when good films come there way they will back cheerfully. Coming years they will be more aware …Audience is the rule not fool. When they pay paisa, they preach some beautiful gaali too even little personal type.. filmmaker would love to work for them but not for dictators.
Tushar sir your review as audience is great.
My sincere apologies to Dear Gulzaar saab and Dear Piyushbhai for not mentioning your names. You two were the only saving grace of this unforgivable yarn…. Gulzaar saab your lyrics and Piyushbhai your dialogue deliveries were only thing that kept me inside the cinema hall for 130 minute of torture….i waited for your lyrics … i waited for your scenes …what else can i say……I BOW MY HEAD TO YOU TWO WITH UTTERMOST SINCERITY AND GRATITUDE FOR GIVING SOME RELIEF IN THE FILM.
Tushar,u said it all!And losing innocence about commercial cinema,well it can’t be expressed more poignantly than this..
Oye Dr. Tushaar…
I completely empathize with u buddy… but fuck JBJ for a while… One request… i dont know how old u r or what kind of doctor u r… but bhai ka request hain ke pls don’t call urself a failure yaar… Inshallah sab theek ho jayega… y dont you get into film making??? Its a superb medium to express oneself… and satisfying too u wont need anybody once u get freakin addicted to it, think about it…
And yes… Lets meet up… we need to drink and talk… winkkk…
Kya bolta hain Bhidu???
I think you are the biggest fan of DIANA.
I havn’t seen JBJ but I’m curious about this whole Diana thing. I think you are being over sensitive about it. Maybe some people hated her. They have the right to express themselves. Maybe the writer of JBJ didnt figure what was the big deal about Diana? What had she achieved in life? So he lived all his life pissed about it & let it out while writing JBJ. He has the same right to say anything as you have to love her to death.
BTW didnt anurag write this film with Tigmanshu? So who wrote those lines about pakistan & diana?
Tushar ko jawab chahiye!
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Last Film - UNDERGROUND (still watching…amazing!)
Music - SPINDRIFT (http://www.myspace.com/thewest )
Book- TWISTED CITY by Jason Starr
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Tushar- ur review makes me wanna see JBJ for pure sadistic pleasure
And i just hope the guys at YRF read this review of yours !!!!!!
“if they had cinema in their veins and not blood”
Awesome statement
I fail to understand how can an assistant of MANIRATHNAM make such an insult of a movie !!!
Why/How/When does this degenration happen ????
Tushar, your article give me one more reason to read PFC.:)
tushar, i havent seen JBJ .. and i assure you that i’m not defending the YRF genre of movies.
my only concern about your post is that you give the impression that you have something against the whole slapstick comedy genre.
i hope that wasn’t your implication, because i would still like to see a place in bollywood for such unapologizingly ridiculous, even crude at times, comedies like hera pheri, haseena maan jayegi or angoor.
frankly thats what i was expecting JBJ to be.
Make your film Tushar. Take out all this angst and create something that you wanna make…Go,Do, Be.
dear Anurag,
if you agree completely, why are you credited with story development? what kind of story dev. have you done with Dhulia on this one? I respect both of you a lot, but having people like you, Dhulia, Piyush Mishra associate yourselves with these kind of films is painful as an audience. I go from respecting you, to WANTING to respect you, since this is ALSO part of your work. We realise you guys dont make much on the insane side of this industry, but while you’re selling yourself, do rem, there is an audience which holds you in high regard - dont disrespect their feelings either.
On my blog http://www.kartickslongroad.blogspot.com, I’ve put down my thoughts on the film. I would be obliged if anyone would read through, and write back - agree, disagree (if you can on this one) - just open a forum of dialogue.
Dear Manish, I havent anything against slapstick comedy. Infact My alltime favourite is Amar Akbar Anthony, Andaz apna apna, etc. But JBJ is a shame on cinema. u will have to watch to believe. one suggestion use pirated dvd dont contribute towards YRF funds!!!!!!!!!by going to cinemahall…
Dear Mainak, point is not what Diana did OR not, point is respecting sentiments of billions of fans of her..they are throughtout the world
This is masala cinema, watch if you like, dont if you do not like. This is not to be taken seriously before, while and after watching. Its a shame that people spend so much time ranting on masala cinema.
Enough said about JBJ, but I fail to understand why has it generated so much cynicism all around. Its a free spirited film, moving through the roller coaster ride of referential cinema, it pushes the envelope for films which do not take themselves seriously, so why should we do?
JBJ does with elan what Jaaneman failed to do, I read it somewhere and agree with it.
Shaad Ali has smartly put in a lot of indulgent elements in this film which would strike you once the film is done,again it is not something revolutionary but done with a great deal of fun which comes across while watching it.
Watch the climax show down dance competition, or the scene where Bobby confesses that he was just a pawn in the whole scheme, or umpteens of refrences to the 70’s cinema of Manmohan Desai, or the way the narrative simply shifts to a non-story format and blends into a musical…
I might be sounding ridiculous but this film is not as bad as its painted to be. It leaves you with a smile,and if you are not pre-prepared not to smile, there is no point watching it.
Arre Tushar-Bhai (not Dr, but the other one) I too loved ‘Jaan-e-mann’ and i’m all for crazy, zany films.
I loved ‘Daud’ too, which faced alot of critisizm, although a few people here on PFC liked it.
But this film just bored me!
I even found Priety to be so mechanical in it, and i actually like her.
If anything, i would put it in the ‘Neal ‘n’ Nikki’ catergory, which was a film i didnt hate, but it was faltu time pass.
And sadly, i didnt find this film as entertaining as ‘Neal ‘n’ Nikki’ either!
It just didn’t do it for me at all…and by the time the ‘twist’ came round, I had already lost interest.
I know it’s become fashionable to slate Yash Raj Films of late, but that isnt the reason I say this.
I actually liked ‘TaRa Rum Pum’! (Damn, i’ll be hanged for that now, Lol!)
But no, I really wont be recommending this film to anyone.
A waste od S.E.Loy’s tunes too:(
Oh koi gal nai, Steve Bhai!
Good to see you hear after long
achi hai to achi hai, buri hai to buri hai…
I think I got carried away, I loved the film. no reasons. in fact I loved the fact that they didnt put in too many twists, and didnt care too much about ‘making’ it entertaining.loved the effortlessnes of Piyush Mishra and the way the flashbacks are executed.May be i got what i expected, a no brainer with cool songs n a wacky chracter track.
Guess I am biased towards films with no fundas.
Daud - One of the best zanny comedy from bollywood
Jaaneman - Good first half, trash second half
Dear Doctor,
You have vomited so much of poison that I have actually got interested in the movie. am now very curious to know how can any movie generate such extreme reactions, and one lesson for all film marketers that negative publicity actually works !! See am the second customer after kartik Krishnan.
Me too.. I am the 3rd guy so far who wants to see it after reading this blog…
Wondering if this is another marketing ploy of MR. Chopra (ADI). Did he pay Tushar to write this blog:-)
He was doctor for mad people who himself lost it after watching JBJ
Lot of people talking about Jaan-e-mann with reference to JBJ of late- it was certainly a good concept with potential, esp with the referential, Broadway-esque style, but I found the execution very lacking. It lacked enough flair- visual or otherwise, to sweep me off my feet, something very important in a film of this genre. Besides there is somehow always this somehow tacky element about Sajid Nadiadwala films. Ever noticed how despite the humongous amounts spent- his films seldom look good…and have the most awful publicity design? (to confirm take a look at the 1st poster for Heyy Babyy at indiafm)
Haven’t seen JBJ yet- wasn’t interested, but am curious now! I do feel Shaad can handle this genre well, but will reserve further comments till I see the film. And agree with Raja Sen (at rediff) when he talks about the botoxification of Preity Zinta- post KANK, the freshness is missing…
“Once young and bubbly, today’s Zinta looks heavy on both botox and frustration. Her lips might possibly have had one shot of collagen too many, and she pouts as if a boyfriend fawningly compared her to Ms Jolie, lying through his teeth.”
I think Dr. Patel has taken this comedy too seriously. I’m also one of the few people that seems to have liked the film and always surprised by the hatred that’s poured out towards it. I commented in another blog about JBJ that l’m from the US so I guess I’m not as jaded towards these movies as others who were raised on Indian films. I always find the cinematography beautiful on YashRaj and other big budget productions especially during musical sequences and this film actually made fun of some of those camera angles.
As far as the Diana incident is concerned I also found that quite strange but then when I thought about it “”"SPOILER ALERT”"” it was a fake story of a character that was a con man, so maybe the character thought that added a fake romanticism to his story”"”"”END OF SPOILER”"” .
I found Big B’s endless song appearances kinda boring , but other than that I didn’t find anything that upsetting. All the performers gave likable performances including Bobby Deol and Abisheck neither of whom I ever really enjoyed in a movie and I found Abisheck to be hilarious. Lara and Preity also did a great job and really put their all into the dance scenes…..AND as far as Preity saying she had sex 11 times “”"”SPOILER ALERT AGAIN”"” she was making that up to discourage an unwanted suitor”"”"END OF SPOILER AGAIN”"”"…and Preity DID kiss in the movie not just Lara .
This was one of the first Bollywood movies that seemed like it had an actual script, because I found some of the dialogue and situations really clever especially the whole Dance Contest sequence.
As far as the Pakistani insults, these were said by characters in a movie, not real people and the character changed her opinion anyway. Maybe since I’m not in India I don’t realize the impact,but it didn’t make me feel that Pakistani people were any less of a people.
…and Dr. Patel as far as failing in certain things in life , I am jobless and have no lover and deep in debt and suffer from depression, but when I watch a film like JBJ it helps to lift my spirits, so I am happy to have seen it.
be it cinema or life one cannot label onself as failure you of all the people was never a failure will never be so JBJ can be panned but a ‘Tushar patel’ can’t be here is wishing a great life ahead !!!