Salam-e-eeks
Salam-e-eeks
Just dread to write about this film. Kal Ho Na Ho seems like Milestone cinema in comparison. Instead would like to list the films I would like to watch instead of Saalam…instead of the six stories these are the six films I recommend you watch….3.5 hours of Salam-e-eeeks=18 hours of these
1] Awal Number – For the inimitable Dev Saab..urf Vicky Saab. Apart from the wonderful anthem like “khel hoga shuru poune gyarah……yeh hai cricket….”
Plus the Vicky interrogation of Kundi [Kulbushan Karbandha's name……and in Tamil it mean the behind.] and Macmohan…… “wohwohwohwohwohwohwohwohwohwohwohwowhowohwohwohwohwohwoh……..baarud kahan…..hai…..” created ham history. Awesome cinema…..You may not have “Guide” in your DVD collection but you need to have this.
2] Aag Hi Aag – There was just one reason. Chunky Pandey. It was his debut and how can any cinema fanatic miss this one. And yes it also had Darma Paaji….the budget of the film was…….1 crore…..10 lakhs shooting and post budget rest for Bagpiper……consumed by one soul…..kamineeeeeeee
3] Tarzan – Illeleileleaayoaayoillelee……… Illeleileleaayoaayoillelee Illeleileleaayoaayoillelee Illeleileleaayoaayoillelee Illeleileleaayoaayoillelee Illeleileleaayoaayoillelee Illeleileleaayoaayoillelee Illeleileleaayoaayoillelee Illeleileleaayoaayoillelee Illeleileleaayoaayoillelee Illeleileleaayoaayoillelee …
Hemant Birje was my fav after Amitabh. He was the only one who could win if there was a one to one…man to man fight we thought as we used to so heatedly debate when in school……I used to even say that AB could beat the hell out of Bruce Lee…..but Hemant Birje…..no ways….Whatever happened to my star…..where is he????? I bet he would be a great KBC-4 host too…….even better than AB and even SRK…..for those raving about SRK…….you have not seen Mr. Birje in action……Watch Tarzan and watch him fondle Kimi Katkar……
4] Inspector Dhanush – ….this was “The” Kanada Superstar Vishnuvardhan’s Hindi debut. Sorry solo Debut he had tasted “Hinthi” cinema before with Aatank [sorry someone correct me if I got the film wrong] I guess….he shared screen space with Akshay Kumar and Pankaj Dheer [Karan of Mahabharat by BR Chopra]……this was a remake of Black Rain…it had a great song….. “ek second mein ek tik…aur kabhi ek se bhi addhik….had se baad jati hai jab mein dhekun koi beautiful chi….tik tik tik tik…..dil ki ghadi baje har ghadi….najane kahe kyon tik tik tik……”……it was Kumar Sanu…..for those who unduly credit Himes for the nasal revolution…..screw you…Sorry…..I am taking stealing Vishnuvardhan’s thunder……watch Vishnuvarshan jiving with Sangeeta Bijlani to “mere bhi maan mein hulchal…..tere bhi maan mein hulchul……tak dhina dhin…..” with the awesome….SPB crooning. It was an Honest Super cop taking on the System…….by the way what is this system….even in Shiva there was a mention…….when the system itself is….whatever
5] Zalzala – It had all my favs….Dharam, Shatru and the very talented….a thespian who never got his due Karan Kapur. Many might remember him from his ad with Lisa Ray for a clothing company. Watch this for the 37 th Chamber of Shaolin lethal fighting technique…….which could send Jet Lee back to play school…..”One finger fight”…of Dharam. He single handedly…..sorry single fingerly with which he stirs his Bagpiper……buries a goon wait deep in muck……and yes it also has Joginder in a very very very very special appearance…….
6] Aranyaka – Donno who directed it ,,,,donno what language…Oriya I guess….but happened to catch this gem on a Sunday afternoon on Zee Cinema. All I remember is a man dressed as a Maharaja….in super noir lighting menacingly takes a huge sword out and run insanely as the camera follows him….and his sword land….and cuts thru a watermelon…have been hunting for a DVD……PFCiets…please if anyone has a copy….please………
BONUS
7] Dubbed Appu Raja [Aboorvasagodargal in Tamil]– Just for this Kamal Hassan moment. He has done “Abhinaya” in all Indian languages…..but seriously…….with this he beats Ghalib…Khusro…..or any Hindi/Urdu pandit……
“abhi abhi to apun saath hua hai aur tum bichud ne ka baat kartai”
What is “bichud”? some “Kannamapetai” [Chennai suburb] slang for bhen^&%$
What is “kartai”….is it Marathi for “I will do Sister [tai=sister in Marathi and Kar to do in "Hinthi"]……..or Some female for Kartar……like singh and kaur.
I have to share this Salam-e-Salman moment as I was dragged by my friends to watch this at Plaza near Shivaji park .Plaza was one of the 13 Blast spots in 93 [FYI]
Salman removes his shirt [So?]….one true blue “Bandya” [like bunty,rinku,guddu,babloo…whatever your name is you can be called Bandya] from Lalbaug a life member of Vitthal Vyayamshala [Vithal Health Club/Gym] remarked “chyayla……hichi body utarli”
[Sub : English : his mother ….his body stepped down]
[Sub: Hindi : isski maa ka…..isski body utargayee]
If at all you watch it….just record this on you cell phones….
Salman sorry Raooolllll “cheers everybody…sab ko khushi ke aanso “mubarako”[read = NY Hindy]” …but come what may….I blow the loudest citi at his entry…..he is awesome
Loved John in the film….call me whatever but this guy has put in a lot in this film.
Govinda…….just watched him dance….he is the best….Makhan….and his tod-fod…climax…..10 page dialogues……Back with a bang….chichi….
Akshay Khanna has the best line and I have always liked him…I am ready to brave the rotten eggs….if anyone wanst to throw any…..I like that guy….cheeky…he is awesome….
Anil Kapoor….ok he shaved his “Muchi” again after Lamhe….aur kya kahun mai…..?
Sohail “Haryanvi” Khan……the crowd cheered him then most….his was the hit track….but there was something I heard….while we dragged ourselves to the parking lot. “bloody this film had only 5 stories….Salman might have insisted the 6th one just for his brother…otherwise Aaryan ke baad…..kaun jurrat karta….”
Oh sorry the girls…..Vidhya [Guru Hangover…no to be fair : good...from confident to vulnerable....], Ayesha Takia…a personal fav…..this girl can do no wrong for me……Priyanka…wannabe Madhuri/Sridevi in the film….no ways….not even close…only those 2 could have pulled this off. Juhi..was she there? Firang….with Govinda in the frame….she reacted ok….Govinda gave her tough competition with his 45-45-45 stats though…..
Sad, have heard so much about Nikhil Advani from the people who know/knew him….this just did not work for me……this is not what I expected hope I am proved wrong very very very soon….
PS : I am willing to have a battle to death with my friends…no more giving into any peer pressure….
[the above mentioned 7 films have nothing to do with salam-e-ishq]
Filed Under
Movies
 2 readers recommend this post  Loading ... |
 Email This Post To Friends
|
|
Related Posts No related posts. | |
15 Responses to “Salam-e-eeks”
Leave a Reply
(Ref smilies)
Our Comments Policy : The following kinds of comments are troll capped, blocked and/or commenter's identity reported publicly: Verbal abuse, personal attacks, hate statements, spam, trolls, advertising. Please assist us in keeping the comments clean. Use the contact form to let us know if you find unwarranted comments on PFC. Thank you.
-
Advertisement
-
- Dev.D- Emosional Aty
- Sorry Bhai R
- Irresponsible medium:Shame on me to be an aud
- The assault on our intelligence, no pun int
- SORRY
- Do Hanky
- Bollywood Bombed?
- Dev.D- Emosional Atyachar
- The assault on our intelligence, no pun intended
- Catherine Deneuve in India - Win World Cinema DVDs
-
Advertisement
Hottest Today:
Recent Posts:
Well these are like 2 posts combined into one but what the hell, it’s fun! Specially for a lover of ‘(f)arty’ cinema like Tarzan and Awwal number.
KNow what??
I really dont think I like ‘Salaam-e-ishq’ either!
First half is just a waste of time… they should’ve stuck to three stories instead.. the juhi, Vidya balan and govinda story.
They were the best.
Especially the govinda track, i wish that was just one whole movie.. loved him in it.
Vidya balan is a wonderful actress…
Overall, dissapointed with this!
Akshaye khanna is great, but i dont like his story!!!
Glad that you loved him Steve. He always has been one of our finest actors. How I wish david dhawan had not happened to him.
You pay 150 rs… (different depending on how much you spend in the popcorns) What you get ?? 13 stars(actually 12 , 13th one is lil’ wanna be ) Plus 6 stories in one film !! Wow what more you want ……But , twist in the tale….
By interval you are trying to figure out what was Nikhil trying to show, What is the story of the film ??? Does he wanna apologise to Karan by mentioning his name so many times, or he wants to make fun of him????
But then you understand he is trying to same something very near to Love actually !!!! Well The total masala film more than confusing you …tires your brain so much , that by the end you are just left discussing , tere ko kaunsi kahani pasand aayi , rather than asking tere ko film acchi lagi kya ??
So if you want a sleepless night , full of head ache , please do watch this film , and speciallyt if you want to get confused in just figuring out what makers wanted to convey in the film !!!Do watch it !!
aaaaah wasan .. tera sense of humor … is as great as the movies u mentioned. Classic .. but merey sar key uppar !!!!
saleeeeee…kartik….sahi vaar kiya re……:((:((:((:((:((:((:((:((:((
Sorry, but I LOVED it! I thought it was gorgeous to look at (loved the different colours and fabrics used in each thread) and fantastically romantic and charming. Acting - especially from Anil, Juhi, Govinda, John and Vidya all top notch.
Oh, and my Auntie loved it too. But hey - what do WE know?
I think you have forgotten/missed a couple of really interesting movies: Love at Times Square, and Superman. (Check out http://www.stomptokyo.com/movies/s/superman-indian.html for a really funny review of Superman.)
Hey Anand,
Love At Times Square just skipped outof my mindbutso did Mr.Prime Minister. But Dev Saab after 70 films maaff….During Awal Number I think he must be around 65.
Super I did not know….sahi tha
Hey Venetia ,
I do agree I might have went overoard with my comments. There are worse 3.5 hour packages delivered in the name of cinema [and 6ofthem have been mentioned..Appu Raja is a classic for me]. Just that it was a very very very very rare case where the actors have done well and the film bored me. Where the director was tactful enough to handle so many actors….the film as a whole just could not hold me. It draged on and on…and the Priyadarshan like climax …..Resolution story A then B then C…and all in one frame….just could not take it.
And please what do I know about anything.This was just my reaction to the film as an audience…nor do I know anything about making a good film….maybe when i make one…some one writes something just like this..or worse….OUCH.
@Vasan:
‘Awwal Number’, along with ‘Police Public’, remain the highlights of my first Delhi trip !!! What a scream of a movie ‘Awwal Number’ was, with apna Dev-saab playing retired-cop, cricket-coach and anti-terrorist head all-in-one. Brilliant. Aamir Khan, at last report, still has nightmares of this one
!!
Well I left out the King of Deadpan Vijendra Gadge’s performance in “Veerana”…..
Vijendra knows the rather boxum lady in front of him is not his lover but a “chudail”..I knaow thts enought to blow the daylights off anyone….but Mr. cool just stands his ground and delivers…super deadpan “badzaat zeherili nagin…mai jaanta tha ki tu ek chudail hai…… “..u have to watch it to believe it.
BORING, INSIPID & PAINFUL !!
One of the most boring movies I’ve seen so far. It was a torture !
Firstly, which land does salman khan belong to coz his accent is totally fake ! He is so irritating and so is priyanka!
Whats with John and Vidya…..yawn!! so boring…seems like they sleep walk thru the film. Quite annoying, feel like shaking them up. AND WHAT’S WITH HER CLOTHES!?? Which century does she belong to!
Anil and Juhi are just ok…..but anil kapoor’s makeover (!!) is a nightmare….thats probably the biggest jolt u get and u almost fall off your seat with shock!! At least that made me wake up from my sleep.
Who else….yes..akshaye and ayesha are quite ok…only akshaye needs to tone down his overdramatic facial expressions a little….they’re really in-your-face
then there’s someone called sohail khan and isha … i dont remember…must’ve been sleeping during their story (if at all there was any)!
YES!! The movie or whatever u can call it, BELONGS to GOVINDA & SHANNON! They are simple, effective, funny and very charming! THANK GOD for them…..! It almost seems like someone else directed their story. Nikhal Advani was on a holiday for sure!!!!!!!!!!
Thanks Vasan for giving it atleast something nice..the name for it! SALAAM-E-EEKS.
Perfect!
Disappointing is the word. Salaam-e-eeks and of course the excruciating length of over three and a half hours!
But that could be true you know.. the point you mentioned about Sallu miyan givin Sohail the chance..varna usse kaun lega..hrrrrrr
And yes, you got competition coz even whistled loudly at Rauul’s entry. It was total dhamaal..his entry!!
i saw this film today …heard people complaining aboout its length …and heard it had been trimmed …so i guess i watched the trimmed version …and i m complaining about the length of the film …i slept during the film ..when a film fails tomove u when it should , something’s wrong with the film …it had all the karan johra cliches and yet tried to package itself differntly …it was trying to be this and that all the time and thats wher the problem is …and i think its right to call it slaam e eeks …and i put the blame on the director …totally !! :((