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Being the only child, never had the pleasure of growing up with brother or a sister, so had to do with cousins and imaginary brothers. Always wondered how cool it would be to have an elder brother, about 5-6 years older than you, and you following and rooting for him in his adolescent age, where he moves from one aspect of his life to other.
Tried to find that in my cousin who was 4 years younger to me- ruled out.

Tried to find that in my dad- 28 years older than me- ruled out.

Tried to find that in a guy who lives in a hut behind my house-then realized he robbed my bi-cycle- definitely ruled out.

When it was getting really tough for me to find some inspiration in real life, find someone who would try everything that I didn’t know of and did know of, I was drawing a blank. I wanted someone to have a jolly good time and still not get the thrashings from parents, Someone who would fail in exams and still a get a pat on his back saying “ you have really maintained our family heritage”. Someone who had tried this and knows the in’s and outs of it, so that when I try it I don’t fall flat on the face. I had almost given up hope and one day out of blue I wanted to join Military.

Courtesy my brother Shah Rukh Khan.

Loved him when i found him in Fauji uniform, the happy go lucky guy who finds the meaning of life by failing at each hurdle, loved the naughtiness in him. Yes here it is, I wanted to join Military and follow the foot steps of my brother. But, he went missing. Was he missing from the fauj? Some one told me he had joined Circus. I didn’t see him there, and with his loss I started feeling afraid of facing the opposition army and still act cool. Naaahhh , I don’t want to join Military.

Mom: No problem beta, what do you want to become then?

Me: I want to be a kid of rich parents and marry a widow.

Mom: WTF????????

Me: Bhaiyya did it, why not me? I want to become Deewana.

I wanted to have the energy like my brother, how could he turn up so fresh after making me wait for him to return from the Military, and not show any remorse, yet have the fun of his life riding motor bikes super fast, doing wheelies, etc and falling in love with a widow. I want to do that too. After all he has never ceased to inspire me, yet!!

Then came a dull period in Bhaiyya’s life, nothing great was happening, or maybe he was lying low because he knew I was in class 10th and had to study hard. So, this was his way of saying “Dude, don’t look elsewhere, I will be there for you, but you study hard now”

That is why I looooved my bhaiyya….right after I finished my Boards, he shows me how to fail in exams, not only how to fail but also gain that “all required” sympathy from your parents, never think Bansi is Lakdi. But I also appreciated SRK Bhaiyya, as he was showing me the pangs of adolescence. How even if you ask with full conviction and manipulation you still don’t get the girl, he taught me life is all about Kabhi Haan Kabhi Naa…and cream rolls and Gaana aur doston ki bajaana ( sing and friend’s bajao’ing)

But my brother SRK would soon show me another side of his. Won’t take “NO” for an answer, even if u are kicked around…If you don’t get it, snatch it. It’s worth killing people and/or dying for your cause, which could range from taking a revenge for your dad’s suicide/death to kill your girl’s boy. He had created Darr. Darr for all the Baazigar and the Anjaam: only Raam Jaane. I was seeing HIM grow from being my Bhaiyya to a heartthrob of a billion.

My neighborhood all of sudden became wet.

He had reached the peak, everyone knew who my brother was, infact he became the bhaiyyan and saiyyan ( bro n ho) for many. I was no longer is only kid brother. He was graduating. I was still loving him. I knew he didn’t have time for me. He didn’t have time for 1, he had to meet everyone rather than anyone. I still respected him, after all, he had set path for so many dreams that I could follow. He had set the path with pro’s and con’s and it was for me to pick the right one, though I wanted to take each and every path.

I was about the age to start taking my own decisions, I had to. I was a grown up kid, I didn’t need to keep asking my brother for guidance every time. But this was the time, when I had set aspiration of going to a foreign land, until I saw Baiyaa and Babhie in London, then Bhaiyya like a crazy nut followed her to Punjab. I guess he had some hidden message in all these escapades. No matter how often you kill people or kill yourself, true love happens only once, and when you kill people it is not for love, it is just lust, right Senorita? This was the time when I realized it is utmost important to respect your parents and snub about your parents-in-law, still making it believe that you love them. That was my Bhaiyya at peak. There was no way I could have come out of his shadow, there is no way I would overcome the impact he had on my life.

Untill he started searching for Maya…

I was not able to understand him then, neither do I understand him now. Why would he search for Maya and Tina and Tina’s Maya when Bhabhi was there at home to take care of him. Bhaiyya was turning naughty at forty. No wonder Bhabi found solace in Omkaara and other aunties in Krrish.

I would have expected bhaiyya to wise up after bhabie left him, but not to be. He was teaching young kids, three of them to be precise, doing a one-on-one course with them on what love is and fighting with dad-in-law ( the seed was sown earlier), now that was it for me. Bhaiyya definitely had a mid-life crisis, which he didn’t understand or still doesn’t understand. Should he listen to his “original” brother or to Krissh haters? This was the turmoil time for brother, I wanted to give him shoulder, I wanted to help him start a truck business as by then I had become an NRI and had dollars which I earned Chalte Chalte but then never did I realize that brother had other “sautele” brothers in NRI land. I guess he too didn’t take notice of it, but bad influence has stuck him hard. Maybe this also was a way of my brother teaching me, you can have a bad influence even after you grow old. That friend of his in the Jo-Var fields of Punjab( who helped him run from London to Punjab) had cast his evil eyes on him.

He wanted to suck everything Bhaiyya possessed, even tried to kill him by giving him cancer. Check the balls of him, giving cancer and saying “Kal Ho Na Ho” I was crying for him, I literally cried when he cried for Krissh with dad-in-law and had got back to bhabi momentarily. But, yes that was momentarily until the Jo-Var field friend had to strike back with evil plans of poisoning bhaiyya’s mind and cutting his leg making him look for chicken outside, cause bhaiyya was bored of dal inside. I was crying bhaiyya tussi na jaaa…plsss Kabhi Alvida Na Kehna…but he wouldn’t listen. He has started loving his friend more than his kid brother….this is not my bhaiyya…this is not my bhaiyya…is it the right time for me to raise to the challenge and help bhaiyya out of this rut, just the way he had shown me direction, shown me what energy was, showed me how to fall in love, showed me how to respect parents, showed me how to be an alpha-male. I owe my bhaiyya a lot. But if he is not listening, what am I supposed to do? I need my Bhiayya back…this is not my bhaiyya, this is not my bhiayya…..