Spiderman 3 – Fultoo Timepass
Bhidu (Buddy): Thank god it’s over! I had such high expectations from this film.
Apun (Me): Eh dimaag ka dahi mat kar. Subhe ka teen bajela hain. (Don’t make brain into yogurt. It is 3 in mornings)
Bhidu: It just went on and on.
Apun: More fillum. More timepass.
Bhidu: But I wasn’t feeling the punch.
Apun: Bak bak mat kar nahi tho Spiderman 4D mein parde ke baahar aake kaan ke neeche bajaayenga. Phir punch ka feeling aayenga tereko. (Dont talking too much. Spiderman coming in 4D out of screen and punchings. Then you feelings)
Bhidu: But they went on and on with the love story!
Apun: It is masala yaar. Like Hindi fillum. Love, emotion, jealousy, badla, and action! There has to be good mixings, otherwise no fun.
Bhidu: Well, I guess the action was quite cool.
Apun: Arre it was deadly yaar! Maar dhaad between moving trains with the Sandman, end climax fight in Venom ka web.
Bhidu: The tranformation into the Venom character was very interesting wasn’t it?
Apun: It was fundoo. I shocked! Good twist.
Bhidu: But I wish they played more with the Spiderman being his own enemy thingy. You know, the dark side of his character creating the conflict as he is consumed by a thirst for revenge.
Apun: Chalta hai yaar. Abhi aur kitna dikhaayenga? Spiderman saala khud ka gaand maarenga kya? Hero hai woh. Do, teen villain mangta hai todne ke liye. (It’s ok. How much more you can show? Spiderman cannot kick own ass. He is hero. We needings two or three villains to bash up)
Bhidu: But they really could have internalized that conflict. What was the need to attribute it to this strange black substance that just miraculously lands from outer space and consumes him? They didn’t even explain what the source was. It just falls to earth!
Apun: Why you care where it coming from? That thing making deadly new black suit for him. Spidey looking ek dam jhakaas!
Bhidu: It’s not about looks! You have to focus on story and logic!
Apun: Arre fantastic ishtory yaar. Boy and girl in lowe. Besht friends fighting like Amitabh and Vinod Khanna. Then memory loss. Then fighting again, then besht bhidu’s becoming beshtest enemies because of lowe triangle. Ek dam like Hindi filmi drama. Even Nirupa Roy mother sentiment there with that buddhi.
Bhidu: Buddhi?
Apun: Haan yaar. Spiderman ki aunty.
Bhidu: She didn’t bother me. The other two women did though! Why was the talented Bryce Dallas Howard even in there? And Kirsten Dunst is starting to get very annoying!
Apun: Arre item ka zaroorat hota hai aisa pichar mein. Do item hai tho jalan hota hai. Dramatic effect! Aur woh gaana bhi gaati hai! (We need chicks in fillum like this. Two chicks there, then there is jealousy. Dramatic effect! And she sings also!)
Bhidu: That was getting on my nerves. It was so ridiculous! With Peter Parker dancing and so on. So illogical!
Apun: Teri maa ki aankh! Uska haath se saala makdee ka jaal nikalta hai, lekin woh naachenga tho tereko khujli hota hai?? (Eye of mother! Spider web coming out of his hands is ok, but if he is dancing, you think it is illogical?)
Bhidu: But it’s so out of character!
Apun: But it was funny. Peter Parker being bad man, dirty mind. Doing comedy. All part of the mazaa!
Bhidu: I dont know. I had issues with it. I guess I was looking for something else with this film. More than it being a mere thrill ride. Performances were so cheesy.
Apun: Haan. I agreeings on acting. Not very good. Lot of overacting and melodrama. Item hero ko rulaati hai tho bakwaas lagta hai. (When chick making hero cry, it is bullshit).
Bhidu: I guess it humanizes him in a way. Shows his soft side. Girls love to see that!
Apun: But hero cannot cry yaar.
Bhidu: I didn’t have a problem with it. The script could have been tighter. Editing could have been crisper. A few unwanted scenes here and there.
Apun: You want to write English paper on this fillum? No na? Then eat popcorn and enjoy. Akkal nikaal ke dekhneka kya? (Remove brain and watch)
Bhidu: If everyone has that attitude, films will never improve!
Apun: Chalega! Apun public hai public! Apun pichar timepass ke liye dekhta hai. (Its ok. I public. I just watching fillum for timepass)
Bhidu: Hopefully Spiderman 4 will be better. I hope they get better writers, maybe a different director for a fresh take on it.
Apun: Jo karna hai karne do. Bas pichar mein do, teen gaane daal do yaar! (They can do what they want! I just want two, three songs in the fillum)
Bhidu: Songs??? Why??
Apun: Lamba pichar hai yaar! Bahut suspense bhi hai. Jaake mootne ke liye mauka hi nahi mila! (Long fillum, lot of suspense…I not getting time to piss at all!)
Tags: Acting, Direction, Editing, Production, Special Effects
Anurag Kashyap
Abhay Deol
Dibakar Banerjee
Hansal Mehta
Khalid Mohamed
Kundan Shah
Anish Kuruvilla
Jaideep Verma
Manish Gupta
Navdeep Singh
Bhavani Iyer
D. Santosh
Onir
Ashvin Kumar
Ramu Ramanathan
Sudhir Mishra
Pankaj Advani
Revathy
Saurabh Shukla
Shilpa Shukla
Sujoy Ghosh
Suparn Verma
Santosh Sivan
Shashank Ghosh
Shivajee
Pavan Kaul
Partho Sen-Gupta
Prroshant Naryannan
Sam Langoria
Satish Kasetty
Mazza aa gaya boss. Going to watch it today.
Apun: yeh spiderman 4 5 aur 6 sab milaake spiderman 3 mein daalne ki zaroorat kya thi? (why stuff spidey 3 with spidey 4 , 5 and 6 content?)
Koi aUR: kya pata
Saala… i demand retribution for all the 10Rs and 20Rs that i used to spend when i was a kid to buy the comics…
They had no right to do this to spidey man… abs no right…
Maakki salo ki…makki kirkiri…
Makes history with $148 Million opening gross!
by far, this was the worst of all spiderman movies.
An awful film that I had the misfortune to watch. A film that was so poorly made and so ferociously marketed will leave many people disappointed, whether they choose to acknowledge it or not. Tobey came across as this ultra sensitive superhero pansy going through problems that most audience members face in their daily lives. I’m surprised he didn’t develop a drug problem and shave his head in front of the Daily Bugle..and why was he crying so much???
Crap, crap, crap…that’s Spiderman 3 for me.
will someone post his views on makda manav,who spaks bhojpuri.