Subhash Ghai’s One Crore
Sirjee Sirjee Sirjee… we are going to becoming crore-pati… millionaires… Sirjee Sirjee Wake Up Sirjee…
Betelal… stop panting… tighten your nada, put it back in your pajamas, shut your mouth and speak slowly…
Sirjee, Subhash Ghai will make us crorepati… I will become a millionaire… a crorepati?
How Betelal… as far as I see, you can’t be a crorepati, or anyone’s pati… you are a 24/7 fati… and to my best knowledge Subhash Ghai isn’t gay, and hence is not sponsoring a TV show “Who wants to marry a crorepati?” with him as the crorepati… so that is out of question. Plus I don’t think people with any sexual preference - hetero, homo, bi, trans, animal, anime, or whatever sick thing exists out there - all of those would rather please themselves than marry you. So pray… tell… the connection between Subhash Ghai, one crore and the eggheaded you.
Sirjee, Ghai has just announced that he is inviting scripts from anyone and the best script he likes he will pay Rs. One Crore (Rs. Ten Million) for it. I have twenty scripts that I’ve written and I’m sending all of those to him.
Betelal, stand up.
Yes Sirjee
Come Closer to me
Yes Sirjee
Show your Right cheek to me
Yes Sirjee
SLAP
Sirjee!
Shut up. Now show your Left cheek to me
Yes Sirjee
SLAP
Sirjee!!! It hurts!!!
Shut Up
Ok Sirjee
Sit Down
Ok Sirjee
Betelal. Now ask me why I slapped you twice.
Why Sirjee?
Because you are an idiot.
That I know Sirjee… but Sirjee… The fact that Ghai has such high regards for writers cannot be denied… He has given statements to the effect that
Screenwriting is going to be the highest paid profession in media in the very near future . Hence now is the appropriate time for the youth of today to understand the importance of this profession and consider it seriously. The writer is the real creator of media - be it films, television or animation
Sirjee, it is imperative to finally realize that he worships writers in the film industry.
Betelal… who is your Sirjee… Ghai or me?
You Sirjee…
Good then shut up… just like Mr. Subhash Ghai had been mum on his “hero worship” for writers in the last 3 decades of his career… Never has he given statements to this effect ever before. Why now? That is what you should be asking.
Why Sirjee?
Betelal if Subhash Ghai has such high regards for writers, we should take a 9 inch nail and stick it up our ass so we can beg for forgiveness from the Lord Almighty in that we walked away from watching Kisna, Yaadein and other dumb shit that Ghai has made in the last 10 odd years of so. It means the writing was perfect. We were just stupid to not realize the grand intelligence behind those epics.
Question Sirjee.
What Betelal?
When we take the 9 inch nail to stick it up our ass, which end should take in first. The pointed one or the flat headed side?
Betelal… bend over and I will demonstrate it on you.
No Sirjee… I got it…
Good. Betelal, I have a few questions for Subhash Ghai. So what does he have in mind? This One Crore offer is for one movie? What after that movie? He stops giving importance to writers after that or what?
Perhaps Sirjee with the script he buys for One Crore, he will make sequels… One Crore Part 2 “The new beginning”, One Crore Part 3 “The newww new beginning”, One Crore Part 4 “A true turd storiee”
You may be right Betelal… question is why the fuck isn’t that One Crore being used to make something on the lines of the now defunct “Project Greenlight” which was started by Matt Damon and Ben Affleck, who invited writers to submit their scripts and they would make independent movies constantly from the scripts that were selected. This way more and more writers were rolled in, more ideas came through, more intelligent and amazing stories got to be told… but this One time One Crore deal shows Ghai’s short sightedness.
You mean Sirjee, he can only read tits and not scripts?
Shut up Betelal. What I’m saying is this is a gimmick.
How Sirjee?
Betelal, if you check Ghai’s Mukta Arts share prices at the Bombay Stock Exchange you will find that the shares have taken a bad beating in the last four weeks. The shares have dipped more than 16% after going up and up for about a year. The interest to trade in Mukta Arts seems to be on the decline. The last two week average of the volume of shares traded in Mukta Arts is a measly 11,000 approximately. Clearly to put the fizz back in the shit… this whole public stunt of One Crore is being broadcast on every channel, news, print and even on the ass of asses like you…
Sorry Sirjee… I didn’t see it that way before you told me… it all makes sense now Sirjee… if Ghai wants good scripts… why doesn’t he get them from his own Film Schools’ students? The ones at his owned Whistling Woods…
Good Question Betelal… it sends a negative message to the students. Now I’m not sure what the quality of writers is being produced at Ghai’s film school… but shouldn’t Ghai have first encouraged his own school’s students with the One Crore deal… there by encouraging them, motivating them… instead in typical Ghai fashion he walks over them - those who are paying out of their noses to graduate from his school - and looks elsewhere?
True Sirjee… if he himself is not looking inside his school for good writers, what kind of writers is his school producing? My heart is beating hard again Sirjee… I think I feel I am better than all those writers at Whistling woods… maybe I should go pitch my latest script to Ghai “I Have Wood, I am Whistling”
Betelal… with the shit that you write, Ghai may well like and accept your script except with his expert advise to change things here and there.
What would he advise Sirjee?
Perhaps change the one guy with wood, to three guys with wood. And when he stops messing with the girl sitting on his lap, while you are reciting your script, he may even ask you to come back with the changes 4 months later, perhaps even promising you that you are a strong contender for the One Crore clincher.
Huh? So Sirjee, it is only Ghai who will decide the winner of One Crore contest?
Betelal, at this point, I don’t think even Ghai knows, who will decide, how will one decide, where will one decide, where should writers send the script and all that shit. Hell, not even his own Mukta Arts website talks about the One Crore Contest.
Oh no Sirjee… I now see what you are saying… this may be a gimmick… thank you for saving me from all the trouble once again Sirjee.
No problem Betelal…
Sirjee, you mentioned about a girl sitting on Ghai-jee’s lap when I recite the script… maybe I should just go to Ghai to see the messy messy thingy…
Shut Up Betelal.
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[...] Originally published on PassionForCinema [...]
sirjee and betelal back in form..
well , wish they just paid writers the money and the respect they deserved and it still would have been a better place.. it’s eventually mr. Ghai himself who will choose what he thinks is the best script and we all know his script sense lately.. which was the last one.. GOOD BOY, BAD BOY.. before that, SHAADI SE PEHLE or some shit like that, before that KISNA.. the only time someone showed script sense in his mukta was probably IQBAL..
so be it
“I have wood. I am whistling”
wasn’t apna sapna money money by mukta arts too?
on another note, does anyone have any idea of how many suckers ghai has taken in at whistling woods? and has the media asked him why he’s not inviting his “students” to submit scripts first before extending this offer to the public?
its a stunt,nothing else.
we all know about the script sense of subhash ghai.:d:((
Its the best way to get accessto hundreds of great scripts. You pay 1 Crore to 1 script & copy the rest for free. Its a great fuckin deal I say. Years back Sulekha.com had done the same thing. Nothing happened to that contest. People like Mahesh Bhatt & Jahn Mathew were the judges. All these guys read fresh ideas & go home & write their own versions.
Its plain & simple.
Please don’t fall for this illusion.
***********
Last Film - SNAKES IN THE PLANE(5/10)
Music - www.pandora.com
Maybe, we should appreciate Ghai for realising, after his follies of the last decade or so, that what was really needed was a good script!
ye to public hai sab jaanti hai..aji andar kya hai bahar kya sab pehchaanti hai…dhandha hai sab dhandha hai
ghai is thinking we are chutyas.. go and give him your script then what the fuck will he do? He will giv it to some shit in house writers in Mukta arts who will probably turn your idea upside down and make it into a tasteless khichdi and publish it in their name………door bhago kyunki ghai ko neeche bahut khujli ho rahi hai…koi use itch guard dena bhai
i don’t know what’s cooking in ghai’s mind and what r his true intentions behind one crore contest. but i really liked the way the idea has been narrated. i m not very used to reading such big articles but could read this one without loosing interest till the end.
BTW i would also like to witness the messy messy thingy.
mainak, how dare you? it’s snakes ON a MOTHAF*CKIN plane! not “in”!! i loved it.. 11/10 for me!
oz, your post has repeat value.. it actually got funnier the second time i read it :))
last film watched: ratatouille [10/10!]
ozzie bhai….
Project Greenlight defunct?? i recently heard a bit about it in the aussie media.
some project they had greenlighted by an aussie guy is almost near completion or something like that.
No doubt this is all a publicity gimmick.. After all everyone has to agree that the guy has totally lost it. But he still has eye for good stuff. Remember.. Jogger’s Park?? Iqbal??
Hard to believe that this is the same guy who gave us Karma and Khalnayak…
——————————-
watching now - South Park (season 10)
listening now - Best of Yardbirds
reading now - the sundance kids
OZZZZZ…
ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha…
ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha…
ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha…
And to think of it, they are charging close to 20lakhs as fees from each student if I am not Mistaken… and One crore for all to compete, poor whistling wooders…
whistle whistle whistle whistle whistle…
Oz, this is the most hilarious post I have come across..
And whats the deal with sitting on lap, I mean whats happenning.. i mean does it really work..i mean isn’t it a bad boy thing to do.. i mean good boys no longer making good films because because half the time they are baby sitting..
oz,ghai ka toh dahi bana daala. ismey thodi si sev puri mila do, script taiyaar hai..ek crore ki..and deal is yours man!
lets send him scripts of spiderman3, 1408 n some other movies with character names changed…we will have good chance 2 win…
I am narayan from bangalore.I would like to present a story to Mr. Subash Gai Sir,
On sir’s interest we can proceed further. However please send the comments to my personnel E.MAIL id ;
bnnarayan@gmail.com and dothe needful.
The story was written not in the concept of money , since it is my hobby.
My story was born in keeping the star Amita bachan.
The hero ( Srikanth ) was a big film star in the story, But he worked very hard and came from the scratch. In the earlier days he got married to a girl (preethi )( Love marriage ) later once he becomes star he and his wife will have differences on his profession and later she will be shifted to London. Later she will give birth to female baby (Priyanka ) at London and at her teenage she ( priyanka ) flow to India and attacks to film industry. The father and daughter relationship will not known each other. And hence she will have a chance to act and attract towards the hero (Srikanth ) . But hero (Srikanth ) will not have any opinion on her and he lives morally.
The end of the day :
Hello,
i am mandeep singh sandhu from small village of punjab. i am writer .i have been written many songs and two hindi films script.but no one given me chance.i requested to subash gai ji please read my script once time and give me break.
mandeep singh sandhu
vpo- lakkarwala
district- muketsar
state - punjab(india)
pin - 152112
email - sandhulyrics@yahoo.co.in
sandhulyrics@zapakmail.com
T.phone no - 01637242610
I have a script for Subhas Ghai’s production .It is of it’s kind, everbefore.It will become hit globaly.May I get the right way to submit the sript.
I am prof. by profession Inter national & national awardee .I saw almost all film of bolywood some twicw or thrice .I think this identity will be sufficient for script writing
Pravin
Pravin and Mandeep..I don’t think there is anypoint in submitting your scripts to anyone if you don’t get to meet them personally..lots of people, not every … prefer to read scripts of people they meet or come through someone
Subhash Ghai Sahab,
Adab!
I am a writer and my writings are uncommen and different from all writers up till now I have read and also people toled me,a new way the fact which is untouched up till now from other writers.I hope you are in search for a new story
something new to give people,never showen before,so your search ends here,only once look my script.Thanks.
Musarrat Imam c/oIrshad Ahmad
C.M.P.D.I,Jaripatka,Nagpur,Maharashtra
Phone no.0712-2652536
Subhash Ghai Sahab,
Adab!
I am a writer and my writings are uncommen and different from all writers up till now I have read and also people toled me,a new way the fact which is untouched up till now from other writers.I hope you are in search for a new story
something new to give people,never showen before,so your search ends here,only once look my script.Thanks.
Zunira Parween c/oIrshad Ahmad
C.M.P.D.I,Jaripatka,Nagpur,Maharashtra
Phone no.0712-2652536
it’s official : PFC is now attracting idiots of the highest order… and what a great day to realize this than on PFC’s first anniversary… for those still confused with this comment of mine… please read the above two comments
@narayan (post no 19)
loved ur story concept. I can’t wait to watch this movie on big screen..:) may be RGV will direct this…
LMAO @ OZ!! They posted 2x under 2 different names, and put their phone numbers!!! Shit thats stupid!
“Hello… Kaun Musarrat Imam? Acha… Main Subhash Ghai ji ke office se bhol raha hoon, zara meri Zunira Parween se baat karvaiye… Haan Zuniraji.. Aap mujhe Whistling Woods mein milna, jab main whislte karoonga to aap woods mein aajana main aapko apna wood dikhaoonga aur apki whistling skills test karoonga…”
Somebody please prank call these morons! Seriously I would but they’re not worth the bloody long distance charges…
Ha Ha Ha instate of laughing what can one say for the sence of humor of such a great personlity.8->
bechara ye naubat aagai hai,mohan ka message kahan hai.:d
I have a movie story & iam sure about this ki meri story aaj tak kisi bhi movie se hat ke hai this is a love story.if you purchese my story please contact my cell no.-9893000759.thanks
sir me apni script kis address par bheju mujhe kuch samjh nahi aa raha hai. plz reply ans.
i have sent my two scripts to you.please!send me response letter on my address.
hallo S.Ghai sir actully i was send my 3 comments just in last month they were not found in this list. actully i have to creat a one story. in that story, hero makes complit his dads dream.how he had MLA, this is a subject of my story.actully i bilive on human fillings. and love relation of familions actully i visited yours taal viewers website and submit my coment when this page was not found in this website actuly i want to make a film on subject of papas love many directors did a film on mothers love but no anyone did on fathers love actuly both are great but dad never tooked soft corner in public mind and film is a that media who touch the poples heart and mind iam interested to do work with you sir plese contact me on my e mail id i am waiting for your reply. my email id is. udayanraje.more@yahoo.co.in udayanraje is not my orignal name i wrote story by that name and i learn to net surfing just 3 month before ,to got your address.have a nise day
@Oz
Hope Mr. Ghai reads it and feels the requisite (and much delayed) shame.
And did anyone (even) see (the promos of) his last - Khanna and Iyer? Looked like a film that gave him too many ‘bangs’ for his bu(tto)ck.
@Poor-souls-like-the-one-above
Mr. Ghai deserves you and vice versa…
kya hua sir aap comments padhate bhi ya nahi i am waiting for your reply your lovingly….. udayan more
Hello sir,
i have a very good story and it sreally fine about one guy who is struggling har to get a job…
sir can i cite it to u
I WRITE A SCRIPT
THIS IS VERY LOVELY
I WILL SEND YOU
halo sir kya aap siriusly nahi lere mere story ko i am waiting.
sir, i want to send you a unique story.
priyeshojha [at] yahoo.com
i will soon send you my story
@Oz bhai you could be really funny. The post is hilarious. I think PFC should copyright this and make a movie…
namaste ghai sir sarkarraj dekhi! usase to kai better meri story hai par aap hai ki jo na jane kaunse story ke intjar me hai!sir maine aapke address par khat bhi likha tha, aap ko mila ya nahi malum nahi 1 caror ko lekar kafisapne hai manme jo pure karne hai sochata hu ki kash aap kab ye comment padhenge aur kab muze email karenge vada karta hu meri story,acting,aur directing 3bhi acchi hi hongi bas ab jata hu your fan UDAYANRAJE MORE
Sir I Am Bacially A Pakistani please make a remake your film saudagar by taking amith ji and daram ji as main
roles it will be a super Hit
dear ghai sir kya aap kud pe hi vishvas rakhate hai ya dusro par bhi just give me a 1 chanse aur fir dekhe ki hamari filmo ki kya demand hongi koi bhi aadmi paripurn nahi hota hai sar isliye dusro pe bharosa karna bhi sikhna chahiye jab koi team 1 hokar kam me lag jati hai tabhi o apna dhyey sadhya karti hai mana ki aap 1 man show hai par uske piche bhi kisi na kisi ka bharosa rahta hai mai to ye manta hu ki har kisi ka 1 wakt hota hai jis wakta me wo 1 badhiasa kam kar jata hai aur bemisal ban jata hai lekin wakt mekam nahi kiya ta 1 aam aadmi ki tarah rah jata hai isliye sir plz give 1 chance thik hai sir college jana hai chalta hu aapka dost udayan
aslam o alakam,
sir kya hall hai.main ap ka bouht bara fane ho.ap ki sari filmay mujhay bouht pasand hai.khas kar BAGBAN.ye jub bhi tv pay chalti hai tu main bouht pasand karta ho.
6th October, 2008
I am a writer writing songs, poetry and film scripts.Like every good writer I feel that whatever I writer should be different from others.Knowing the declaration of Sri Subhash I Ghai offering 1 crore for an outstanding script,few months back, I called up the office of Mr.Ghai.I was told that the Company of Mr.Ghai was over booked with a good deal of film-projects.On my insisting I was asked to email the concept of my subject.Since I personally feel that email containing one or two pages concept can not communicate the theme properly I did not send any thing. I place on record here that if I am given an opportunity to pitch the entire script personally, I am confident, my script would be considered as one of the best script in Bollywood.
Regards,
Tushar
sir i have writen a story about a daimond mine docaits, sumgglers,vallegers,and heroes .the story is very interesting .i hope you will like it .my email adress kundansingh.542@rediffmail.com phone 9305221992
namaskar sir mi udayan boltoy bahutek marathi lekhakanvar tumcha bharvasa nahi aahe. mi tumhala patra pan pathvel jyat mazya kathech swarup tumhala kalel aani kadachit hi mazai tumhala shevtchi patrapatri asel tumhi valu che sponsership kele hote mhanun vatle hote ki tumhala marathi lokabaddal vishvas aasel pan aata nahi vatat thik aahe shubh sandhyakal sir mitumchya aashevar tar jagnar nahi maza paryay mich shodhel punha ekda shubh sandhyakal