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iView Author:
Neeraja
Bordeaux, France

EMAIL:
neeraja[dot]sigma[at]gmail[dot]com

Sunday: Not a Funday

So I watched ‘Sunday’ on Sunday. If I say that I was disgusted at the level of comedy in Hindi Cinema after watching ‘Sunday’, that would be an understatement. Felt like puking after watching the movie. So, I did. On my wordpad!
Here’s my reaction:
(If you find the writing style similar to someone’s here on PFC, thank you! that was the idea If not, then this is how I write :P)

One fine day, Robin Bhatt opened his wife’s orkut account and found ‘Beware’ message from a friend. It was about this woman who was raped but didn’t remember anything because she was under the effect of the drug Rohypnol. BINGO! Robin Bhatt knew this was the drug that will be the reason for his next success story. No! not in sex (like that’s gonna happen!), but in movies. That too a movie with an original story! how often does that happen?
So, he set out on the short journey of writing the story. In another 30 mins he had a screenplay. All he needed now was to sell his idea to someone.

That turned out to be the most difficult part. After 3-4 days of phone calls to almost every director in town, frustrated, he decided to take a walk. He went to the nearest pirated CD/DVD shop. Next to him was a guy renting Golmaal-Fun unlimited.
He looked at him, smirked and said “you know I can write better stories than that one”.
Rohit: “Sirji this is a movie not a story. Movie mein story hona zaroori nahi hai” (movie in story be essential no is)
Robin: “Ah! very true son. You seem like an industry man and you look familiar”
Rohit: “I am a director”
Robin: “whaaaaaaaaaat! you are Godsent! come I’ll narrate you a script. I live nearby”
Rohit, scared and unsure of what exactly this buddha wanted “err…no sir can you narrate it to me here only”
Robin: “Of course I can!”

After 10 mins, Rohit Shetty was on his way to finalize his next project. That night he sat on his desk thinking “comedy or thriller, comedy or thriller, comedy or thriller” while his dog kept moving his tail to the music.
He checked imdb for last year’s movies. It was a matter of time until he stumbled upon Bhool bhulaiyya. Yes! this is it, he will combine two almost non-existent genres of Hindi cinema. Thriller and Comedy!

Now, the only thing that remains is to decide the lead pair. But that’s Tiger’s job.
“Tiger tiger, hey puppy! come come wake up…time for work”
Rohit Shetty opened his personal folder and opened the pictures one by one, Tiger looking at every pic keenly. He didn’t seem to like anyone. Hung out his tongue as usual on seeing AB’s pic from Aag.

Ab kya karein?! (Now what do?!) Tiger didn’t like anyone. Same thing happened last time so Rohit had opted for Ajay devgan, only actor whose pictures he didn’t keep in his personal folder. He decided to do the same this time.
Female lead. He needed someone who looked like a girl and that too a girl next door. Now, who can that be? He looked here and there in frustration. There in the dustbin was the original DVD of ‘No Smoking’ with Ayesha Takia and John Abrahan on the cover. Bingo! Ayesha!
Tiger barked. Rohit looked at him angrily and said “What? haven’t you seen Hindi movies? They can cast Sonam for Salman, Sameera for Anil Kapoor, Nisha Kothari for Ajay and I can’t get Ayesha for myself…err I mean Ajay! bahut na-insaafi hai!!” (very unfair is!!)

Next day he set out to sign the actors. He first signed Ayesha and Ajay. Then he went to Irfan khan. It was easy to convince him. Rohit told him that this thriller will be a nice break after his comic role in Metro and anyway he won’t have to put in much effort, he has absolutely nothing to do in the movie!

Next was Arshad Warsi. “Boss you did my last film so you have to do this one. Also you need a break from serious stuff like Goal and that Gandhiji wali movie!” and Arshad was in.

On his way back home Rohit thought: Great so I have two well-known actors for character roles. All I need to do is to figure out something that they would do on screen. Irfaan ka kya karein? (Irafan’s what do?) He is such a good and critically acclaimed actor, what new can I make him do? Yes! he is a good actor, he can play a bad actor!

and Arshad? Sabjiwala, Paanipuri wala, Bhelpuri wala…nah! I need something solid.
Ummn…yeah Taxiwala, that too with a bad Kidney. Wah! wah! Rohit, tussi great hai yaar! (you great is friend!) comedy, thriller with a tragedy angle. Nothing can stop this movie from being a hit. Not even Ajay’s pathetic attempt at comedy. This is a clear winner.

PS: Didn’t know that it’s actually a remake before writing this.

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