The art of being shekar kapoor
The art of being shekar kapoor
N thundered- “Bloody Swine !!! Put in some money and go shoot it na !!! You dont even have 10,000 bucks or what ?? ”
Ramana nodded. His script was lying in front of him with the storyboarding and shot divisions planned out.
“I do” Ramana said.
“Then what is the problem???” N prodded…
“I don’t know”
“The cast is there.. the camera guy is there. You have done everything you could. Just rent a camera and sound system and go ahead”
“But where do i shoot it?”
“You have your own house don’t you? And the shady gully can be found anywhere. Heck mumbai is full of shady lanes which will suit your script”
“Permissions ??”
“I can go and jerk off/piss/shit for 2 hours in one of those lanes… and the police won’t do shit !!!”
Ramana thought about his next excuse.
“Even if they do. Pay them a 100 ruppee note and say you are making a student film. And get away with it”
“Yeah i will make it soon. Don’t worry”
Ramana hung up.
The words of Sumit rang in his ears “You can either talk about paintings .. or you can paint. You can’t do both.”
He didn’t know what the problem was. His friend and short filmmaker Ram had not just screened one of his short films at an international film festival, but also won a special jury mention.
“Your film is ok. But … hmmmm ..” Ramana had criticised Ram’s directorial debut.
Ram who was a good 2 years younger to him, had questioned ” But what ?? ”
“Shit ..it’s like one of those films which don’t make any difference at all to me. I don’t feel anything about it. The worst sort of criticism an audience can offer to a film is that ‘I don’t care’ what happens to your characters, your story, your camerawork. In short it is good .. but it doesn’t affect me at all. There is no soul… ”
After Ramana had monologued for a good 5 minutes, patiently Ram had waited for his turn to have the last laugh ” Why don’t you make one better than mine ? ”
“I will .. bloody well i will.”
Over draughts of Vodka, Ramana thought about his life. Minimal balance in his account. His IT job wasn’t paying much, he wanted to switch to the creative field, but being born in an orthodox tam-brahm family, rules can be beant (drinks, sutta, chicken, no Sandhya Vandanam, no Veebuthi), but they can not be broken that easily. There was so much to learn, there was so much to do. Not just Hollywood, but foreign cinema. Korean,French, Italian, German, Russian.
When his better off friends went gaga over Wong kar wai and Pedro Amoldvar, Ramana felt foolish to talk about Balu Mahendru and K Balachander. Whenever somebody talked about Kieslowski’s Colour Trilogy, the only reference Ramana had was Manirathnam’s Yuva.
The other script he had written, M had said “it better be shot well. If shot well it will be like those films by Godard. Otherwise it will fall flat”.
Ramana had almost expereinced an orgasmic delight at the statement, without having ever seen a Godard film, he was thrilled, that someone who knew more about cinema compared his script to the sort of films by Godard.
“Godard’s films must be good. Hence mine should be ok ok too” he assured himself.
He had a good 3-4 short scripts lying with him. All waiting to be shot. The resources wern’t there, but its not as if they could not be arranged. They could be arranged. The problem lay in his mind. And he knew it. The problem is that there is really no ‘real’ problem… its all imaginary…
“Ahhh that’s David Lynch and David Fincher coming in…. Surrealism” Ramana assured himself.
The Romanov bottle was empty now. Ramana slept off after watching the idiot box.
He woke up next day and got dressed quickly to catch the company bus and reach office on time. It was monday again !
???? ??????? ???? ?? ???? ????? ?? ?? ????, ???? ??? ?? ???? ?? ??? ?? ?? ??? ??? (????? ???? ????)
(Nothing is more dangerous than dreams dying a slow death. Going to work in the morning and coming back to home in the evening) – ‘Pash’ Avtar Singh Sandhu
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@kartik guru,yaar its story of 90% software engg. and your article is very true in nature.I am also feeling same agony whenever i return back from office and got that my roommates are still in office giving 24/7 support to foreign clients.One of the my roommate(he is from varanasi) use to say whenever he drunk “yaar bahut ho gaya ye sab main vaapas banaras jaa raha hu aur ganga ghat pe chai ki dukhan kolunga aur mast rahunga”.
short.sweet.autobiographical.self-reflective.painful.realistic.
thoda to magic realism daalte yaar!
Me too…. feel badly stuck in “subah kaam pe jaana, shaam to ghar aa janaa…” Kya Karein…don’t have the luxury of following dreams…dreams are many and time is fleeting by…
same here boss,i have given ftii,waiting for results,its been nearly 18 months nd frustration is there in IT job,nd the quote regarding monotonous nature of job is perfect,i m not sure wit to do if u dont get into ftii,as in u just can’t leave ur job nd go to mumbai to become a director,for ppl like me who have got no “contacts”,ny suggestions wit to do if u dont get into ftii,its my first try,i had read tht reema katgi(honeymoon travels director)gave it 3 times ,then she decided to go thr assistant director path,do post if u have nything to say regarding my Q
rahul…whatver lil i know…if ftii works out, great. if doesnt n u still want to try out, go for srftii(calcutta), jamia milia(mcrc) or land up in mumbai. the scene is not that bad…figure out few directors/production houses…u get film directories with all the contacts. keep knocking…ask them if u can assist them in anyway. trust me…if u can sustain something will work out for sure. its bad but its not that bad also.
RAHUL.. the only difference between you and me is that I was born and brought up in Mumbai. I also didnt have any contacts….Right now am doing Post prodn….atleast something….keep tryin…dream on!
So true, the biggest problem lies in the mind. Substitute the IT for a film magazine and Ramana could be me. 21 and burnt out. Guess sometimes you need to hit rock bottom to hear that wake-up call.
Kartik, are you by any chance the same Kartik Krishnan who worked at Magna as a journalist?
@Bhavani – No I’m not the same kartik krishnan. I’m the one working in IT… never worked as a journalist in Magna or any other firm.
http://www.flickr.com/photos/babasko/collections/72157600858917067/
bro sorry my yahoo is down here is the link to bollywood and beyond… enjoy brother….
KK aur kuch nahi “GUDDA HAI???” to chalang mar…..kisi ne teri gotiyan pakdi hui nahi hai!!! [line from one of your fav film....OMKARA]….take the plung
Bhavani, no he is the Kartik Krishnan who’s head almost made direct contact with the alcohol bottle in Sanjay Gupta’s hand.
KK don’t mind huh… raha nahin gaya. 
Oz bhai completely understandable :-)
Curiouser and curiouser… How’s the head, Kartik?
Bhavani – my head is still too big for my shoulders to bear its weight :-D
Kaanch ki bottlon sey Paththar nahi toottey jaani
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