The death of a movie critic..
The brilliant thing about ‘The inevitable’ is that you can’t stop it from happening. You can try, but you wont be successful. That’s probably why they term it ‘the inevitable’. You cant put the brakes on ‘the inevitable’ by raising a show-cause notice or prolong it for the fear of a rise in excise duty or simply the presence of a callous attitude. ‘The inevitable’ doesn’t stop at a grocery shop and ask for change. But ‘the inevitable’ here had a distinct smell of gunpowder associated with it. The room on the fourth floor of ‘Prakash Towers’,Andheri(w) was impregnated with the smell of gunpowder. “Noted” film critic and trade analyst ‘TARAN ADARSH’ was dead, shot at point blank by a 23 year old. Lean built, with broad shoulders, black hair and brown catty eyes, the murderer had surrendered himself to the police after having stayed back at the spot of murder. As he was taken out of the room, he kept chanting, “LONG LIVE GOOD CINEMA, DOWN WITH PREJUDICE, DOWN WITH POOR CINEMATIC SENSIBILITY”. For people who didn’t know Sudeep Nair, his act of crime seemed to have no logic or sense of purpose attached to it. “Rash and just an act of trying to create unwarranted sensationalism”, the pragmatic lot declared. “Why a movie critic??”, some remarked. “The guy’s a maniac”, the others dared to say. Those were the realists speaking. They demanded a reason. But that’s probably where the realists differ from the idealists. The idealists don’t seek reasons. So what did ‘the idealists’ say after all??
‘The Mother’ Said:
Sudeep hardly spoke a word till he was four. But he more than made up for it in the coming years. We always talked, talked our way out of the most cumbersome of situations. I had at a very early age, taught him that ‘a dialogue’ was the best possible way of resolving a conflict. I didn’t know he could even pull a trigger. Maybe it never seemed like a vice to me. As far as I know, he didn’t smoke or drink. Movies were his only passion. In fact he often described himself as a ‘budding film-maker’ trapped inside a ‘software engineer’s body’. But for an ultimate movie buff that he claimed to be, Sudeep never really reacted seriously to the ‘emotional content’ in a movie. I remember watching “Mother India” on his recommendation. We sat on the couch unmoved. At the end of it, he turned right and saw me all ‘moist-eyed’ and sulking. Our eyes met. I braced myself in anticipation of a heart-felt speech waiting to unfurl itself. And he quipped lazily, “Chill mom, its just a movie”.
The ‘First Girlfriend’ said:
The fact that he never had a proper dressing sense hardly mattered to me. I always saw our relationship beyond that deficiency of his. And it wasn’t like he left me. It was a mutual break-up. There’s no hurt, absolutely no remorse. They say every past relationship needs a reason to end and that you learn something from every broken association. In our case, the lesson I learnt was deeply connected to the reason why we decided to part. But I thank you Sudeep. It was only because we parted over me not being able to grasp the essence of “Pather Panchali” that I took the pain to watch it another time.. and another. And my first documentary, “Satyajit Ray: The Master and his Movies” is solely dedicated to you.
The ‘Best Friend’ said:
There are one-dimensional people who come into your life and turn you into schizophrenics. Sudeep was that person in my life. He introduced me to the world of Kubrick, Fellini and Polanski . I had little liking for their works even after I saw them. But I couldn’t resist faking an admiration for them. After all, I didn’t want him to feel that his enthusiasm was being left unappreciated. Wait, or was it the fear of me feeling like a complete idiot?? I don’t know. He hated most of the movie critics in town. And he loathed and despised “TARAN ADARSH”. But professional inadequacy seems to me like too small a reason to kill someone. But like his taste in cinema, his motive behind the murder too seems pretty arcane and distorted. Your actions might not be completely justified, buddy. But I promise, the day I pay you a visit in jail I would still be flagging off our conversation with our regular greeting, “HAIL KUROSAWA”!!!!.
The ‘Pan-beedi shop’ waala uncle Said:
Well I thought “TARAN ADARSH” was lucky. A slow painful death was what he truly deserved, but an instant one was what he eventually got. His reviews still continue to evoke a nauseous feeling in me every time I read it. Someone had to do it. Maybe Sudeep was the chosen one. For the guy was bright. And he loved movies. He wasn’t a versatile talker but he knew exactly what he was talking about. We met over a cigarette everyday at this very shop and talked endlessly over movies. The business of a movie hardly seemed to matter to him. I once happened to express my dislike for Adoor Gopalakrishnan’s movies terming them as ‘too self-centered’ and ‘tough for the common man to comprehend’. And Sudeep shot back vigorously, “Sir, who is the common man? I am a common man, but I still endure”. Our cigarette meetings soon graduated to meeting in the bar over a couple of drinks, but our topic of discussion hardly deviated. “Mani Ratnam’s IRUVAR, now here’s a movie that appealed to me beyond the neo-realistic premise” , his words…. I just rolled my eyeballs and nodded in support.
The ‘second girlfriend’ said:
A great kisser. And an even better toucher. And I was probably the only one who knew how to keep his ‘movie mania’ in check. The day he would go over the top with his love for cinema, I just wouldn’t “slip in the tongue”. And it worked.
The “Personal Diary” said:
NOVEMBER 22ND 2006: Just finished watching Martin Scorsese’s “Taxi-Driver” for the 23rd time. And I feel like “Travis Bickle” again. I am the nemesis here, and I know my prey. So what’s stopping me?? Just have to go through his reviews stored on my desktop. That should be inspiration enough I guess. Maybe killing “TARAN ADARSH” wont put a check on the grotesque pieces of art they release in the movie theatres every Friday. Maybe I would be deemed as an eccentric in times to come. Maybe people would still continue churning out biased, naïve and irrelevant movie reviews and “pseudo cinema pundits” would continue singing their praises. But what the hell??? If I cant afford good cinema, maybe I’ll just die for it.
Anurag Kashyap
Abhay Deol
Dibakar Banerjee
Hansal Mehta
Khalid Mohamed
Kundan Shah
Anish Kuruvilla
Jaideep Verma
Manish Gupta
Navdeep Singh
Bhavani Iyer
D. Santosh
Onir
Ashvin Kumar
Ramu Ramanathan
Sudhir Mishra
Pankaj Advani
Revathy
Saurabh Shukla
Shilpa Shukla
Sujoy Ghosh
Suparn Verma
Santosh Sivan
Shashank Ghosh
Shivajee
Pavan Kaul
Partho Sen-Gupta
Prroshant Naryannan
Sam Langoria
Satish Kasetty
brilliantly written …hilarious..
especially this bit
The
= You have a great imaginative integral drive… loved the segmented structure to forward the story…
=))=))
Now the real comment; I wonder if we’re giving undue importance to TA by always bashing him…
Fantastic, Sreehari, amazing creativity.
=))
Nice one. What I hate most is that his followers. There are going to be a few dimwits here and there but followers of them?! We do live in Kalyug.
nicely written sreehari
I am sorry to digress but you mentioned Kubrick in your article. I would really like to know your take on Kubrick’s work from an Indian point of view. I have lived abroad for many years and have admired and interpreted Stanley Kubrick’s movies from the perspective of western civilization. I believe that every movie is open to one’s own interpretation and would love to know yours.
superhari…..
In your so called satire, is eliminating Taran Adrash the best solution? You can disagree with him, but in trying to show your so called intellectual superiority, the best you can come up is have an article that kills him. Is this some kind of
the death of one taran adarsh will give birth to many more.i hate that guy’s attitude towards cinema he along with komal nahata & rajeeve masand think they are the final authority on films. mayank shekar is also getting there.
//In your so called satire, is eliminating Taran Adrash the best solution?//
i donno how seriously u relate to the content in a film…or for that matter any creative piece..all i can do is put forth my longitude of approach..and its simple,i approach the content in a film with a heavy degree of non-chalance..call me a “capitalistic bitch”,but the story of a film hardly matters to me..becos i strongly believe that even if u have the sharpest of brains, the most razor-sharp knowledge of socio-political issues,or superb management skills..but if your cinematic approach is flawed u end being a mere commentator and not a film-maker..and i dont want to end up being a mere commentator…this piece isnt meant to do that.. if i can in any ways trace human psyche thru various phases of my story in a subtle yet true manner,i guess my job is done…this piece is just a work of fiction and shud be treated just that way…taran adarash was just incidental to my story..it cud have been a che guevera, an idi amin, a zia-ul-haq a saddam hussein or whoever..the issue is whether u enjoyed it or not..whether for u, the piece in its various phases did even slightly bring out some truth or not..
i guess that answers your rang de basanti part..cheers!!!
=d>=d>=d> Hey great yaar. Very intersting. But hang on…Sudeep…dont surrender now. U need to shoot few more people and few more filmmakers as well before surrendering.
BTW,what do we do with all those who made Dhoom2,KANK, Krish n other craps a big hit!!!!
Too good!!!!!!!!
Are you writer ?
well boy! AARE YOU A WRITER!!!!
Am I the only person on this site that actually thinks pretty highly of Taran Adarsh?
The guy knows commercial cinema very, very well. And you can’t deny that he does a great job identifying what will click with which type of audience (aam janta vs. hi-fi gentry vs. the youth vs…) If after being in the industry for so long, and doing his research, talking to filmmakers and getting the facts right, he acts like he knows what he’s talking about I think he’s damn well earned that right!
And I don’t think he’s really all that biased one way or the other, else how could you explain Salaam-e-Ishq @ 1.5*s and Black Friday @ 4*’s?
Not agreeing with someones opinions or sensibilities is not reason enough to loath the guy.
Be sure to check out the latest filmi news/reviews exclusively at indiafm.com
:d/
//Are you writer ?//
you mean professionally???hmm..no..i make up pseudonyms and alter-ego’s for myself where i imagine myself to be a screenwriter cum director..but on a more realistic level.no,i am not a writer..
//The guy knows commercial cinema very, very well.//
he started out being a total crusader of anything that was different..but later he did try reformation and started talking highly of RGV’S movies using the oft-repeated phrases like “his movies when compared to the others r as different as chalk and cheese”..so cheesy..
he even gave D 4 STARS to confirm his resurrection..now if he truly understood the business of movie making D, wud have gone onto become a big hit..poor child,it didnt.
he gives paheli 4 stars..and hows this for an observation…”the settings r pretty rural,but remember paheli is no matrix”..what a load of crap!!!
(to be continued)..
he thinks lagaan wont do gud business becos those who go expecting a “typical indians fighting the british” kinda movie wud be disappointed on watching whats in store for them..hmm..pretty incisive i must say..
he thinks dil chahta hai is too urban and drags its feet….hmmm..surreal..
he is the same brand of movie critics…”grew up on subhash ghai,heard of kurosawa,tried watching fellini and finally weeping incessantly over a karan johar movie”
and just for the record..in these times of “big movie house’s monopoly” predicting that a yashraj movie or a dharma movie wud go onto good business isnt a sign of gr8 clairvoyance…
ohh and i forgot.. hows this…”kaal is new age cinema…it entertains and enlightens”..now what enlightenment did kaal provide???bad religion,i must say..
Sreehari.. u rock man !!!!!!!!!!!
but, I have seen/read u “rocking like ahurricane” much before
but, I have seen/read u “rocking like a hurricane” much before
Good read Sreehari!
I liked the
JRV,
Well Sudeep is definetely not my alter ego. I mean I have troubles withstanding my kid brother who gives me “rock bottom” three times a day. So harboring nihilistic thoughts is well outta my domain..
But, I think Sudeep’s character can actually be compared to Travis Bickle in many ways. Cos like Bickle he too wants to stir up a minor revolution and he wants that revolution to be wired thru him. Like the protagonist in Dostoyevsky’s “Notes from the underground” he too feels disturbed for reasons he himself is not aware of…
And all those miseries and misapprehensions of his he starts to blame on “Taran Adarsh”… like Bickle who calls Sport the “the scum of the earth”( in my view, a dialogue that is more iconic than the “You talkin to me” bit from the movie) Sudeep too represents a low on spirit protagonist and this story is about his naive search for relievement