• kartik krishnan

  • Published: on Sep 25 2007 @ 4:33 am
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The New Wave or Bubble ? Is Hazaron Khwahishein Aisi a porn film ?

The New Wave or Bubble ? Is Hazaron Khwahishein Aisi a porn film ?

Some time back I remember a dear friend and fellow cine fanatic Sammy telling me about an incident which truly summarises this article.

Samy (to his friends) : Chal na aaj Hazaron Khwahishein Aisi dekhtey hain (Lets watch Hazaron…)

Friend 1 (average guy): What ???

Samy : HAZARON KHWAHISHEIN AISI !!!

Friend 2 (more average-er) : Dude is that a porno film ??

Samy: What the $&%%&&&#$^#$^ ????

Friend 1 : You know just confirming … the title sounds porno …. never heard of this film..

CRAZY INSANE LAUGHTER from the friends .. with Sammy having a mind fucked expression on his face

In case you didn’t get it, let me illustrate. The day after I had come from the premiere of Manorama 6 ft under, I told my co - workers (normal software engineers …. with 35 years before the ears turn into wax)

Me : Sorry for coming late yaar… Last night i had gone for the premiere of Manorama …

Colleague: Don’t tell me Manorama the MAGAZINE has a premiere as well ???

This is a humble reqquest to all those directors/wannabe directors/ cine fans to forward this article to as many producers/production houses / marketing execs / distributors as possible.

I’m not against the directors of good films (Category 1) like Haasil, BBlue Umbrella, Hazaron… Ek Chaalis … Sehar … 1971 .. Parzania … These are not “groundbreaking” films/cinema or masterpieces. …

Agreed they are no Satya … Sholay … Guide … Mughal - e-azam.

Ranvijay Singh might be a 1esser known Gabbar Singh. Bhiku mhatre and Kallu Mama became an adjectives. Raju Guide was immortalised … Chatri Chor Khatri is no Shehzada Salim … The Category 1 films do not belong to this collection of masterpieces…. Agreed .. point taken …

Now take a look at Category 2
Bhagam Bhaag, Don, Janeman, Honeymoon Travels, The Killer, Jhoom barabar, Gandhi my father, Partner

Basically the “crappy” films of the year..

An autowallah may not know who Ranvijay Singh/Maqbool is …. but he will vouch for familiarity with Irrfan as “arey yeh toh wahi ‘Emraan Bhai’ waali film mein tha… Bahut solid Actor hai… uska naam yaad nahi aa raha “

Anupam Kher acted in a brilliant Khosla … But the “crowd” will notice him more in a mockery of a role like Jaaneman..

My simple point to the producers of Category 1 is that NO. You havent done justice to the films…You had the content.. you had the friggin content you’ve been screaming hoarse about… But you guys friggin killed the film…

The film is now appreciated by me.. few PFCwaalas…. few bloggers…. and some few people out in the streets.

The average cine goer hasn’t even heard about it… let alone seen it…Because it wasn’t marketed well….

Don’t give me that jackshit about “Audience wants masala” ..”audience wants stars” … You might be having a point .. but so do I.

Audience wants to be enticed … want to be given an experience… wants a promise .. and a promsie fulfilled.

The average cinegoer’s idea of “method acting” and “different cinema ” is still Rahul Bose. An “editor’s delight” and an english speaking actor whose all acting capapbility lies on his urbane personality with a dead pan face. Pyaar key side effects is the truly “different film” they say. I’ve given up arguing with my colleagues.

When i raved about Omkara.. they said it so filled with obscenities .. and they couldnt look beyond them. When i wanted to see Ek Chaalis…they said that the movie has only two shows .. the 5.45 pm show (impossible to attend for an average guy) and the 10.45 pm show(be prepared to catch the last local home then)

Here’s a simple request. Your film is made in 5 crores ?? Excellent Great !!!

Beg Borrow Steal… Get 2-3 more crores from somewhere.. any fucking where… Flood the idiot box with the trailers (enticing the audience)… and the newspapers with amazing posters…. Because the 2-3 crores will get you back a good 10 crores… Even if your film is 1% of a Cinema Paradiso or City of God.

I might be wrong/arrogant with facts and figures… and I know it is easier said than done… But then that might pave way for producers and distributors to invest more in such films. Some of them might do well… some of them may not… But then again it might lead to more “pushing the envelope” in a country like ours… where a Rajnikant’s Sivaji 75 ruppees ticket is sold for 750 (and is recently also been accused of copying the story from some struggler… and the industry joke is that there IS NO story in sivaji)

Ask my office security guard if he has heard about the Category 1 films… No he hasnt… but let alone Category 2 .. he will even tell you who is dating whom in the cine world.

AND NO …IT IS NOT ABOUT BEING STARSTRUCK… IT IS PERHAPS GOTTA DO WITH MARKETING

India’s very own Scorcese - Manirathnam knows it… See how he made a brave Dil Se .. then Yuva and even braver Kannathil… All of them flopped ..and as a result - the cowardly lop sided commercialised sold out Guru.

Remake king and director of Gems like Saza-e-kalapni and Gardish(Majrooh sahib and SPB will always be remembered for Hum na samjhey they) knows it too…. Heck even Hera pheri is a remake…

Mr Vishaal ‘Bard’waj … Blue Umbrella was mercilessly killed and destroyed by the UTV guys… Though i had some issues with the film.. but still… UTV didnt market the film properly at all. There was no buzz… there was no “from the director of Maqbool and Omkara” tag in it.
My heart wept to see my fav director’s film with less than 10% hall occupancy in the first week of its release.

Sir … even Govinda’s SSukh was marketed better ….

And yes …. there is an audience beyond the 200 bucks @show Cinemax Versova Andheri West.

There is an audience in Sion… in Mulund … Kanjur marg .. Vashi … Bangalore (not just the multiplexes) .. Delhi’s Shiela and Paras (50 ruppees balcony ticket) and the entire northern belt. Delhi doesnt just have PVR Saket and Chanakya.

Did anyone say US/Europe/Australia ???

A rooted film like Manorama couldve been better marketed. When was the last time u heard “Maalpua” in a hindi film ???? Parzania - Gujrat (No Mr Modi, don’t send the karsewaks yet… I didnt complete the sentence).. Ek Chalis was a tribute to all pulp films but went out faster than a Virar local. Sehar - one of the best recent Cop thrillers I’ve seen ..genuienly brilliant .. But no marketing noise anywhere….

Am I talking sense or is Hazaron still a PORNO film ???

How many more friends do i have to drag to such films which fall in Category 1 ???

Is it really the new wave ? Is everyone really aware of it ? Does the audience care ?? Does the auto wallah care ? Is he still watching Aapka Surror in the shady theaters of Kurla (where normally Mithun, Kiran Kumar, Jackie shroff and Raza Murad and even Manoj Tiwari/Ravi Kisshen rule the roost) ? Will I be asked questions like

“Shoonya - Oh is it based on Arya bhatta’s life ?”

“Frozen - is that the new fridge you are buying ? Or a new beer brand in market ? ”

“Black Friday - is it an English film ? ” (yes some of them did ask me)

“Johnny Gaddar - Is it one film or are these two different films ? ”

In that case .. give me Mehul kumar’s Jaago and Tanveer Khaan’s UnderTrial anyday.. . so that i don’t have to pin my hopes on the new wave…

Now If you will excuse me, I have to go and see the 10.30 am or the 6.15 pm show of Manorama at Huma adlabs MULTIPLEX and then the following day catch the Loins of Punjaab for the 5.30 pm show !!! BECAUSE THERE IS STILL DHOL AND DHAMAAL THAT IS PLAYING AT THE PRIME TIME SHOWS !!!

P.S: Some more resonating thoughts here and here (thanks OZ).

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32 Responses to “The New Wave or Bubble ? Is Hazaron Khwahishein Aisi a porn film ?”

  1. Dipankar Giri on September 25th, 2007 4:38 am

    kartik…one of the important reasons why hazaaro failed in boxoffice is that the it is an english film not hindi(one fourth of the film). the crux of the film is in english..i can remember the day when I was watching the film with eight -nine other friends in a 15″ comp screen…they all slinked one by one before the first cd..obviously I was hooked with the movie…and i saw the movie repeatedly…I had not seen this type of film in my life…I related myself with vikram’s character but my friends did not….so what’s the conclusion…see the problem is not with films ..the problem is the distribution..we are never used to see this type of cinema…the whole taste has been changed…what bother me that this is the same audience who has loved tv serials “buniyaad” n “humlog” and rejected Gulzar’s serial “Godan”…I think a woman lives in jhuggi prefers to watch saas bahu soaps than “godan”…or any other tale which tells their own story….garib bhi garib ko nahi dekhna chahta…our audience loves to see Shahrukh as “rahul” than “mohan Bhargav (swades)…now ranvijay singh …or the film “saher”…”haasil” and “saher” has been liked by my those friends..these films were appreciated by the people but could not reach at the small cinema halls of small towns…how could u expect a better result..So the distribution process need to be more expansion…

  2. kartik krishnan on September 25th, 2007 4:45 am

    Dipankar- then forget all the new wave .. lets all make happy go lucky wonderful Music video films ….. like Jhoom .. Om shanti… Partner

  3. Phoenixnu on September 25th, 2007 4:58 am

    @KK…so much contradiction. First u say that ppl dont knwo about category 1 films. and then u say…And yes,there is an audience beyond the 200 bucks @show Cinemax Versova Andheri West. There is an audience in Sion..in Mulund…Kanjur marg…Vashi..bangalore…No,as of now no. 2 b personal,just cz u n few others stay on that side. And ask Sammy’s freinds to fuck off. they will not get it. not trying to b elitist but would not even like to be in that compnay.
    something similar happened with me…hav written about it earlier. had seen HKA at its premiere. that sunday, few freinds were wonndering which film to watch. they also genrlly dont go for HKA kind of stuff but anything hollywood n all that. they called me…how is HKA. said…good, very good, brilliant. Ok ye bata…out of 10, how much will u give…8. what 8 ? no..even 9. kya baat kar raha hai? ya,go watch and if u dont like then u will talk. 5 of them went for HKA n they all loved it. that nite we sat together and daru party went on n on with HKA n bawra mann talks. about ur other points….there is nothing new n yes the word is ….”hopefully”….things will cahnge

    @Giri…agree with u.
    And yes HKA is one of my all tiem favourite film. hav seen it god knows hwo many times and can see it god knows how many zillion times more…..

  4. Dipankar Giri on September 25th, 2007 4:58 am

    no…there is a way like khosla ka ghosla and ardhasatya…all we need a sensiblity from the distributors pov

  5. Subrat on September 25th, 2007 5:07 am

    Kartik,

    Sigh. Couldn’t agree more. Category 1 might not always be great cinema but that’s doesn’t mean we should be stuck with Category 2

    Were we having the same thoughts over the last few days? I mean our articles have a similar point and end on almost similar lines

  6. kartik krishnan on September 25th, 2007 5:10 am

    Phonix - that exactly is the point … people do not know it because the category 1 films are not marketed well !!! .. If they are marketed better … and intelligently .. the other markets will open up too !!! .. you think a Manorama can only run in Andheri and not Sion/Mulund ???

    Or for that matter in the local theaters in delhi .. haryana ????

    Where was the marketing ?? the publicity ???? who heard of these films on these locations ????

    For the “distributors” everything begins and ends in andheri …..

    And Giri - nothing personal against Hazaron .. i love that film too … though i would’ve wanted these films to go beyond … to truly “cross - over” …. ok fine hazaron was in english …. point accepted …. but wat abt the rest ?? dnt u think they all couldve been better marketed ???

    Heck The indian team wins a 20-20 World cup and they show visuals set to the backdrop of Chak De india song …..

    The point is … the struggle doesnt end when the film ends !!! whats the point if only few pockets in a part of the country have seen the film and appreciated it … that’s not a WAVE then .. Its a BUBBLE ….

    I hope im proved wrong .. but … just voicing my thoughts on what we seem so quick to term as a WAVE

  7. dubey on September 25th, 2007 5:32 am

    Thts the same question I asked to Mr. Manish Tiwary (in response to his post) that why isnt the movie being publicized aggressively. I cant see Hey Babyy opening 80-90% without the excessive publicity that was behind it. Dont blame the junta as fool and they want mediocre stuff. Junta want good stuff but kindly show them whr to find it. The easiest way to promote a movie nowadays is via these TV talent hunts. Every housewife (and the poor husband) watches them. Go to news channels and pour your heart out…every husband is glued to news channel whenever his wife allows him to do so :P
    Most recent example is how Farah Khan and SRK are promoting Om Shanti Om. Mr. Tiwary or Mr. Shriram if you are listening then pls do something atleast for ppl like us who want to see such movies collecting fortunes at the box office

  8. Dipankar Giri on September 25th, 2007 5:38 am

    kartik…not only chake de..it’s “kandho se jab kandhe milte hai” or the lagaan songs…or ‘haari baazi ko jeetna “…
    The process of new wave was very innovative but it executed so badly that the whole attempt went stuck..first there were filmmakers who just used the oppurtunity and presented fuckall films in the name of new wave cinema..secondly a major lobby from popular cinema tried their best to stop the movement…The fact is that this could had changed the whole scenario…but I still confused how can a govt takes an initiative and doesn’t take intrest after all..why not govt tries something more innovative..Why don’t govt. make cinema halls to end this fucking distribution process so that filmmaker’s able top show their films directly..why the govt is so disintrested in this attempt…no..they will not take any initiative which could interrupt their commisions….this is why Indian Cinema is still in his childish days as sudhir says

  9. Phoenixnu on September 25th, 2007 5:48 am

    SRK is good/bad/fuckall/whatever actor but one thing is for sure…he is producer’s delight. he will make sure that he is visible evry posssible way with his film….the man will give 100 interviews…will repet everything with his great sense of humour and still will try to make d copy intersting. and the new guys…they get bored n restless after five questions. don vs jaaneman was claasic case…SRK was everywhere. one SRK made more news that sallu, akki n preity. the film may be whatver but he will make sure that the buzz is there.
    UTV did a terrfic job with KKG’s marketing,i think. no stars nothing but so much buzz about the film.

  10. Ruchi on September 25th, 2007 6:30 am

    Even I faced a similar question from my mother while persuading her to come with me to see Haazaron(read my friends didn’t agree).It was the first “A” labelled movie I saw;having turned 18 that year.She liked the movie but obviously said itna english kyu bol rahe the.
    The same story repeats this year with friends choosing Dhol over Loins of Punjab & Manorama.
    I don’t say mainstream movies should be boycotted altogether.Instead the category 1 movies should be brought into and eventually become the mainstream.But then the level of understanding & appetite need to be created………

  11. jahan on September 25th, 2007 6:57 am

    “There was no buzz

  12. kartik krishnan on September 25th, 2007 7:00 am

    jahan - see if u can get free early morning at 10.30 am show for either !!!
    or may be the 10.45 pm show in the evening ..

  13. ashwin on September 25th, 2007 7:33 am

    couldnt agree with u more KK..

    and can someone pls tell anurag that the promotion of NO SMOKING is not upto the mark. I understand that the release is a month away but so is the case JAB WE MET…..the number of trailers of NO SMOKING on air appear to be paltry when compared to JWM…..n ive not even heard of a music release event for it yet..

    serioulsy its disheartening to find that a fellow classmate has not even heard of the movie which for me is the most awaited release of the year….

  14. turrtle on September 25th, 2007 8:19 am

    @|@ Kartik Krishnan

    Why do films like ‘Loins’, ‘Hazaaron’, ‘Ek Challis’ don’t make tons of money, whereas mediocre star-studded films do ? Is ‘marketing’ the simple answer to that question ?

    There has to be a deeper analysis of this than the writeup above. But, good that you have started this discussion.

  15. turrtle on September 25th, 2007 8:26 am

    Incidentally, I think ‘Loins’ is going to be a sleeper hit a la Khosla ka Ghosla.

  16. Sammy on September 25th, 2007 9:34 am

    one lil correction Kartik..those werent my friends but a colony acquaintance who coincidentally is big Himesh Reshmiyya fan(he watches Thursday premiere shows of Dhol,Heyy Babby and likes)…As for my friends,they were initially reluctant when i had asked them but finally after watching all of them thanked me for showing them HKA..as for the article i seriously dont think marketing or less number of screening venues r real culprits…its just the general indifference towards these movies due to either (a)plain ignorance (b) lack of stars,glamour,etc. and most importantly (c)lack of conventional plot…one of my friend thinks i m a complete retard cos i wud prefer watching Loins over Dhol…its only here on PFC that everyone is talking excitedly about all these ‘new wave’ movies..but if u go outside and ask the junta u ll find that they r least interested and completely unaware even about the release of these movies..dude i really dun see any new wave or even a friggin bubble anywhere….its sad but true

  17. Gurpreet on September 25th, 2007 9:45 am

    Well said Sammy.
    Can’t agree more with you. The only way this so called new wave can make an impact is if it makes an impact globally where it has to jostle with the best in world cinema and compete with the global art-house/cult cinema audience.

  18. krysh on September 25th, 2007 10:28 am

    @Kartik,there has always been mainstream and so called off-beat/arthouse cinema travelling together for decades..And imo there is no category 1 and category 2..It is just arbitrary..There is a well made film and a well crafted film..And audiences have this uncanny knack of smelling the winner(inspite of promos and media blitzkreig)!

  19. striker on September 25th, 2007 12:07 pm

    kk, funny how we live in different parts of the world yet reactions from our friends are the same.. to take the example of manorama, i’ve been seeing the trailers for it on b4u’s “first cut” and sony’s “chartbusters” and all those other shows well before navdeep even came on board PFC.. the trailers didn’t do anything for me.. the marketing was there, but yes, it wasn’t good.. and my initial reactions were that i didn’t feel like watching it.. and the teasers and trailers kept coming, but they didn’t show me anything compelling.. again, we can’t just want marketing.. but good marketing.. would love to hear from navdeep how he would’ve chosen to market this movie had it been upto him.. and after seeing the PFC buzz about it, though i’m curious to watch the film, i doubt i’ll get any takers to watch the film with me.. how would i watch it anyway? it hasn’t even released in the theaters in washington.. but that’s a whole other topic for me to get angry at..

  20. Navdeep Singh on September 25th, 2007 9:40 pm

    Striker,
    Your question deserves a long answer, so later…

    but have a question of my own; How does the economics of the industry work in places like Iran, Korea, etc? I’m not very well versed with the business side of things, anybody have any idea?

    In case the question’s a little unclear, what I mean is; Do they rely on a domestic audience or international? Is the funding strictly commercial or state or foreign?

  21. Sourav on September 25th, 2007 10:00 pm

    @kartik..so very true..i second every opinion of yours. Just a thought..no one will relish a lindt bar or ferrero rocher wrapped in a crappy piece of paper. But dole out shit in tetrapak..it shall be bought.
    Rahul Bose is one of the most overrated actors with this pathetic hindi which he tries very hard to make it sound english-ised. Liked him in Mr n Mrs Iyer..otherwise he is not worht it.

  22. Sourav on September 25th, 2007 10:08 pm

    typo::: everyone will relish a lindt bar*****

  23. striker on September 25th, 2007 10:09 pm

    no prob navdeep.. take your time.. might i suggest you write a post on it.. hell, now that the film is released how about you go back and cut your own trailer just for the hell of it? now THAT i’d love to see!

  24. Mainak on September 25th, 2007 10:10 pm

    I think some of these new wave filmmakers should try to get funded from arthouse production houses in Europe. Make sure the film makes its money just by the TV deals from all the countries of Europe. They will promote it at festivals also. There will be no pressure from dhandawallahs of bombay.

    But publicity is a tricky thing. Its very very expensive. Sometimes more than making the film itself. So it will take a very ballsy producer to gamble & go all out on publicity of a indie film. Junta has not given him enough confidence.

    ************
    Last Film - The Three Burials of Melquiades Estrada (7/10)

  25. Ashish Shukla on September 25th, 2007 11:02 pm

    Yes KK infact I kicked myself but I got to know about greatness of HKA through a friend and that also when movie came out of the theaters…I must be tiedup at that period but yes its poster didn’t say anything about the film…the movie shows Independence period and the poster is somewhere similar to ‘Paanch’ or ‘Plan’ with three non starcast characters facing the camera with the actress holding a revolver…It wasn’t provoking the concept of the film…

    and frankly speaking I wasnt happy with the BF promos either…ppl saw it just because it was talking about the facts behind 93 blasts…the TV promos were flat…what wud a common viewer understand with “saamaan to saamaan hota hai bhai, saamaan ka kya naam hota hai”…I liked the earlier promos better, before the ban…

    and the same goes to all your category-1 films…I gave the same comment when PFC launched the exclusive promo of Manorama…I feel even if we hate all the category 2 films…we need to learn about such marketing gimmicks from them…we cannot always cry by saying, marketing needs money, its all smart advertising nothing else…a complete director is who also knows to sell his film rather than just to make it!

  26. Surya on September 26th, 2007 1:24 am

    Machcha Achcha Sochcha…

  27. DPac on September 26th, 2007 1:32 am

    Well, there NOW is one good small budget way to market your film and create a ‘buzz’. Alas this is not a massive marketing medium, but it sure as hell turns the head of a decent cinephile.

    For starters that is great!!

    for those of you who still havent got what i am talking about scroll up to the top of the page to see the big banner :-)

  28. fanatic on September 26th, 2007 3:19 am

    Gurpreet…cut out ur global film shit in evry reply. get a foreign writer to write and do this and that. why are you so obsesd with verything that is foreign. ya,i know that u feel ashamed because of so called bad indian films. but dear dear, looks like u havent seen some of the greatest indian films that have competed and made mark worldwide and m not talking about hindi films.check out the regional ones from kerala,west bengal,assam,tamil n many others. how many hav u seen ? the old and the new ones. and dont think that your freind circle where you feel ashamed about indian films also have heard aur seen all thses many gems. or give me your address. will send few ones to start with. so, plz now stop these firangi gyaanbazi.

  29. shailee on September 26th, 2007 5:22 am

    i very much agree with your article…

    i asked most of my friends if they could acoompany me for the 10.40 show at PVR juhu (i had to ask for company because i didnt want to be the onli one in the theatre.. it being a morning show.)

    and to my surprise … i had to tell them which film was i talking about…and all the reference you can give is abhay deol… and then the usual no for he is not shahrukh…

    one girl happened to know a lot about the film… she had noticed the promos.. read reviews.. likes abhay … yet refused to come …saying..

    “isnt it a very dark film… i guess they call it noir?”

    “ya ”

    “i am not in the mood to see a dark film… it then disturbs a lot..”"

    and i was like “”" what the fuck!!!!~!”"”"

  30. Arijit on September 26th, 2007 11:39 pm

    The article raises a valid point but that is perhaps not the only point. Somewhere down the lane the new wave filmakers have to accept the fact that they cannot move all the audience….there would still be a majority audience in India who after a hard day’s toil will want to be entertained by a musical potboiler. Most of the new wave movies that have been successful are comedies which shows that majority audience still wants to be entertained (even in pretty serious matters like land grabbing) — “Khosla ka Ghosla” and “Bheja Fry” being two of the cases that come to my mind right now.

    However, sometimes the media hype is unbearable. Case in mind is “Om Shanti Om” — the only USP of the movie being SRK’s 6 pack abs — and our news hungry media is touting that as the best thing to come for Indian cinema this year ;)

  31. krysh on September 27th, 2007 11:53 am

    @Arijit..you said it…a la common man.

  32. Harish on November 23rd, 2007 3:22 am

    “Gandhi My Father is up there with Dhol, Dhamaal and qualifies as a crappy film!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

    *Absolute shock*
    :o

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