The Torture Series 1: Mehndi Rang Layegi
It’s out of control. Everyone is on the streets waving their laptops and desktops, furiously typing in their next blog to kick ass. Every Friday with every new movie. It’s as if all the frustrations and anger and whatever acid they pour in their morning cup of tea, coffee or brewery - all of it comes out in a yellowish to red puke form on the reviews of the latest movie.
I tell ya. It’s out of control. Bloggers? HA! My foot!!! What do these itsy bitsy tiny minnows know about bad movies? These post Gen X midgets who call themselves film fanatics… what do they know about bad movies and the horrendous torture? They can’t suffer more than 20 minutes into a movie and are writing their next blog over Old Monk and coke with spicy seeng-dana even before the movie inside has reached it’s Interval point.
All of these puny, have it easy in life, armchair quarterbacks!!!. Air conditioned theaters, best munches and drinks right outside the theater and above all the Internet to vent their anger out.
Does this entitle them to anything? Can they last beyond 20 minutes or even three hours of torture?
Good for nothings who claim they are “tortured” by bad movies. Well I’ll tell them what… kiss my ass!
You’ve seen nothing, borne nothing, the torture you claim is fact of the matter ticklish compared to what us Gen X and pre Gens had to go through.
From the late 1970s to the 1980s to the late 90s and beyond - more than 20 years of torture. Which was secretly planned by Bollywood and any other intelligence agency (including Indias) to see that people’s brains were fried bit by bit, 3 hour by 3 hours, Friday by Friday. Until they would either die or bow down to the powers that be and say “I’VE HAD ENOUGH… KICK MY ASS FUCK ME UP… I’LL DO ANYTHING YOU WANT!”
And the results are for all of you post GenX to see. We are a badly scarred to the bone generation. Do you think you little sensitive souls could take more than 20 years of torture every Friday? HA YOU FOOLS!!! Only the Brave survive and survive we did. In non A/C theaters, Cushion springs going boing boing right inside your ass, the wonderful rangoli of pan spits over which you jumped to reach your seat and sadly sat on one such rangoli, theater samosas that sent you to the bathroom rather than the post interval session, bed bugs that would bit your ass and when you reached home you wondered “Where the hell did I forget my ass?”, Black Marketers, 4 hours lines for Advance Bookings and so much more.
And I wonder why would anyone be so spiteful inspite of getting the best comforts and luxuries in this day and age in these wonderful multiplexes. What torture do these punks talk about!!! Seeing a movie that they did not like in a wonderful a/c theater, nice seats, clean plexes, under a bag of popcorn and coke??? MY FOOT!!!
You wouldn’t last a single day of the 80s, you blogging punkers!!! Take That! Stop Wailing…
Last night God appeared in my dream and offered me Moksha. Then like God always does… he put a condition. That I have to spread the torture me and my generation of brothers and sisters suffered through movies from the 80s. Once the present generation has suffered enough and cries for help… God shall appear, and give me angel wings, though HE won’t be able to do much for my ass that has has been beaten and tortured by the movies of the 80s and which now shits pancakes.
MEHNDI RANG LAYEGI (1982)
It was 1982. I was still in my half chaddis (Hinglish: half pants).
Jeetendra in his career of ups and downs was again back in business doing anything and everything that came his way. 1982 saw him as many as 13 movies. I don’t remember if his produced disaster “Deedar A Yaar” had released by the time we saw Mehndi Rang Layegi.
DAY and Star were the two big releases - probably the most expensive films of that year. Both flopped miserably. Biddu who made Star went back to where he came from (England, Mars, wherever). Kumar Gaurav after Star lost his star status. And Jeetendra was again like many times in his career, in doldrums. But in one year Jeetendra’s life would change. And we gullible people did not know what disaster lay ahead for us poor film lovers. Himmatwala was to come in 1983, become a super duper hit, and we for many many years would be shedding tears of blood thereafter.
Mehndi Rang Layegi (MRL), was directed by Dasari Narayana Rao who made tear jerkers in the South and for some odd reason had begun to do the same in Bollywood. Those were the days when I think the legend Lata Mangeshkar, may have seriously thought of visiting a psychiatrist to help her depression, considering the number of songs she sung that had her crying in it.
So the song “Mehndi toh Mehndi hain rang layegi”… is the song that was the title track of this movie.
The film also had Rekha and Anita Raaj. Rekha by this time had perfected her gracefully stern on screen personality while Anita Raaj would secretly go ahead and join the Public-ko-Torture-Karo Club (PKTK), and torture us for another 10 odd years.
Jeetendra with no relation to Rekha, stays at Rekha’s house. Who of course has a big palatial bunglow facing the ocean and has a rich dad (not sugardaddy please). Now I don’t remember why Jeetendra ends up staying at Rekha’s place. I’m guessing it was either to teach Rekha singing, or doing jhadu-katka in the the house. Anyways it’s not important.
What is important is Jeetendra and Rekha love each other but do not express it to each other. Meaning Jeetendra doesn’t know Rekha loves him. Rekha doesn’t know Jeetendra loves her. If it happened today, the whole world would know courtesy MMS. But it doesn’t. It’s 1982 and cellphones will take another 15 years to enter our glorious country.
So one thing leads to another and Jeetendra decides to talk proposal to Rekha’s dad. No DAMMIT. He doesn’t want to propose to Rekha’s dad. He wants to propose his marriage to Rekha to Rekha’s dad. Since it is the 80s, some achcha bachchas (Hinglish: good diaper wearing boys) still existed in those days.
But Heylo!!! The heros of the 70s and 80s suffered from “I do not talk first” syndrome. So Rekha’s dad speaks first. And talks about Rekha’s proposed marriage to another man. Jeetu-ji silently cries keeps quiet and leaves.
Enter Anita Raaj who falls in love with Jeetu-ji. Then after some snoring and snaring, Anita and Jeetendra get married. Shubh Vivaah. Wait a minute. They were about to get married… hell I don’t remember. But it’s not important.
What’s important is Anita Raaj realizes the past love of Jeetendra and Rekha. She fills guilty. Enter Tik20. Suicide Attempt. Anita-ji taken to hospital, which HEYLO!!! belongs to Rekha-ji who is a doctor and saves her life.
All’s well that ends well. Rekha-ji becomes a doctor-sanyasin, says she will never marry. Anita-ji and Jeetendra live happily ever after.
If you think you have seen such similar stories a 1000 times before… please let me assure you that in 1982 I had watched similar movies 500 times before this one and saw the other 500 after this when they released which you claim to have watched today.
If you think Singh is Kinng is a bad movie and some of you snobs wonder how it is such a massive hit… try or atleast make a decent attempt to walk to your video store and ask them for a copy of MRL. The shows on Sunday of the week of MRL’s release were houseful. We had to buy tickets in advance to be able to watch this movie.
My family gave up watching movies after this while I was tied, gagged and bound like the rest of my lot of that generation and dragged to theaters week after week for torture and more torture. Take that for a torture at movies, 80s ishtyle.
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Hillarious..every bit of it..what was wrong in the 80s..seriously
Dekhte hain ke aapki yeh article kya rang laayegi
Oz: A good series to start. What do the nayee umar ki nayee fasal know about the sacrifices we made in the 80s. But those pains resulted in lots of gains as well.
For instance, even today when I get into an argument with someone, my “brahma-ashtra” (which silences the other party) is ‘bak bak mat kar naak tera lambaa hai’. Himmatwaala always wins. Poor sods have no idea what hit them.
I remember this film distinctly. It must be one of my earliest memories of Hindi films. There is a suffering mother in there too. She was there in the earlier part of the film. And there was a song which went like
Daali se naata tod ke
apna ras rang nichod ke
suni hatheli pe khil jaayegi
mehndi to mehndi hai rang laayegi
All I remember in the film is this mother grinding mehndi throughout the song (it made us very envious, what a nice mom. We would collect mehndi leaves and bring them home with great hope everyday but 8 out of 10 times mom would shoo us away).
I also remember in the evening when the electricity went off we would all go outside and the kids in the coloney would narrate stories of films we watched recently. I remember graphic details of this song being passed around. The memories are so remote and vague, but suddenly on reading about the film they cropped up.
Thanks for reminding me of it, nostalgia is a fascinating thing, it makes even torturous things wondrous!
Hilarious read. Unable to stop laughing. Someone seems to be pissed off with nearly every movie buff critising SiK. If thats bad, well then, take a dose of this! Ha!. Well written Oz.
But one the other level, those times were different I feel. Such films were churned out regularly and the audience liked them. They expected to see such stuff on screen. (It was the ‘pot and pan era’ - most of the songs couldn’t do without these ‘necessities’ and Jeetu-ji was at the forefront of this.) But at the same time the 70’s and more so in the 80’s wonderful realistic cinema was also there that give gems starring Farokh Shaikh, Nasseer and their ilk. And these films were commercially successful too if I’m not wrong. So I guess its just like picking one of the many and ripping it apart left right and centre and in a way rightly so.
Similarly, today too. We have films like SiK, Welcome etc that do well because these kinda escapist - something like I just want to go and have 3 hours of fun. No brains used. Nothing taxing for the mind. Its something i don’t relate too but there are people who do and hence we get the audience for such films.
I really don’t know what would be worse for me - SiK / Welcome or MRL. I cant sit through both but you know what , if I see some parts of MRL, I’ll go with the mindset that ya - such really crappy stuff were made in those times. I don’t relate to it. Period. But SiK is like - what the hell! What was the script -writer doing? Was there one?
What was the director thinking when he made this!! I guess each period churns out its quota of trash and good films. Only that there are different kinds of ‘trash’ as MRL and SiK prove. May be I’m wrong but jut wrote what I felt.
But this is one funny article you’ve written..
But for me the “mother of all suffering movies of 80’s” is still Tohfa.
Oz Bhai,
that was typical ‘daddy talk’
hamare zamaane mein… & all dat!
anyways, thanx for the eye-opener.
waiting for the next in the torture-series
the worst torture for me was SRK’s Ram Jaane (1995 i guess)at a rundown single-screen theatre called ‘Regal’ @ Indore (MP). swear, the bugs did bite the behind!
classic post yaar….seems like you’ve taken away my thoughts and put it in here……80’s…wow…..
Excellent post oz bhai!
I do remember standing in advance booking row for 2 hours for Watan ke Rakhwaale, Nigahein, Maqsad, etc. etc. in theaters of Fatehpur (UP)
Lets keep this 80’s torture series permanent. Look forward to more stuff
Thanks
@Oz,
Please dont give Sanjeevani to this Devil Period. In history it can find competition with Concentration camps of Hitler’s regime.
This HELL has gone in to oblivion and let it lie there buried “100 gaz zameen ke neeche”.
Stupid, Nark Ke Saudagar, with no talent at all, are still alive in Hindi cine Industry who are able to make films because of the hands of few stars on their heads. Dont give them chance to bring the hell again.
Rememberance means, few or may be many will go to look for these POISONOUS products and those Rascals who control the market will take it as the clue that such films have demand in the market.
Dont wake up the Bhasmasur. Evil is died, let it sleep.
100-200 years later, Stephen Sommer’s family child, will come to make a film on this subject and some child having DNA from Brendan Fraser will awake this devil.
This material is suitable for making a horror film so that children can be scared.
Film can be called “Mummy Papa”.
@rk haha. how true. let sleeping dawgs lie.
Whoa!
Even now some of the mentione thetre hall exists…
Waiting for your second post in this series!
@Oz u hv opened a pandora’s box…
Bravo!
Zee Cinema shows these a couple of times in a day…….
Oz..Please..Justice Chaudhury next..please..I wanna know how this Gen Next bachchas will squirm when you come out explaining that exquisite form of torture..Tohfaa was way good..too easy a torture!!
Oz, PL review a few more of these 80’s ke superhits/superbores . You think any of them are worth remaking? Any brave film makers around?
Hey, Insaaniyat tops the chart!!!!!!!
Oz, its a can of worms(literally!)…you’ll find “ek se badhkar ek” gems in late 80s and the beginning of 90s and believe me, most of them star BIG B–Ganga jamuna Saraswati, Toofan, Jaadugar, Indrajit,Laal Badshah, Mrityudata…
As someone who watched every Jeetendra-Sridevi release in the 80s,my vote goes for Dharmadhikari - the biggest ham fest ever. Dilip Kumar and Jeetendra compete with each other in taking hamming to new heights. It was also probably the film from where Ekta Kapoor got the idea for her now patented camera-gone-crazy shots. When Dilip Kumar gets angry in this film, one gets to see such an amazing display of coordination between the actor, the sound, the lights and the camera - all going ballistic in unison! Masterpiece!!
Boy O Boy… welcome my clan brothers and sisters from the 80s… Most of what you have listed, I’ve been through.
Aditya, Dharmadhikari… wow… I though I would have been the only one to have watched it… “Ek aankh maroo toh padda hut jaye… dooji aankh maroon kaleja cut jaye… Dono aankhein maroon toh chori pat jaye chori pat jayee”… that song from Dharmadhikari, truly taught me the art of pataoing.
i was born in 1987…..so havent seen any of those in a cinema halll….but some of the worts movies iv seen in a cinema hall are : Judai, Biwi No.1, Hum Aapke Dil Mein Rehte hain, ……pick up most Anil Kapoor movies and they’ll make the list
Trust me, I’ve seen a LOT of crap films from the 80’s… I was very young, and my Mom was addicted to these melodramatic family fares… she used to MAKE me sit there and watch them… now THAT’s torture… the sun would be shining, all my friends would choose MY front lawn to play on, and I’d plastered against the window staring at them, wishing I could go outside… but there was still HOURS and HOURS of this crap to endure…
It’s all become one big blurry memory for me now… the odd Ghar Sansar and Swarag Narak sticking out for Kadar Khan/Asrani’s crude comedy.. but beyond that, all these seem like parts of one whole family-filmathon of crap…
Thank you Oz for redeeming us lost souls… for now when we say shit like “Namaste London is a Good film”, you know where we’re coming from…
oz: A correction: Ek ankh maroon was a classic from Tohfa.
Tony Mera Naam: I guess you’re confusing Swarg Narak with Swarg Se Sundar. Swarg Narak was a comparatively a bearable film and did not have Kader Khan. Jeetendra-Jaya Prada starrer Swarg Se Sundar had that gem of a song:
Apna Ghar Hai Swarg Se Sundar….Swarg Mein Kahan Se Aa Gaye Machchhar
Oz: Dharmadhikari had “jab ladaki seeti bajaaye aur ladka chhat par aa jaaye”.. another one was “aankhein do, kya karoon”
There was another one titled Kaamyaab with Shabana Aazmi in one of the most challenging roles of her life.. With Jitendra and Radha singing “Ek baar kiya to ho gaya qaraar, do baar kiya to aankhein huee chaar.. ”
and to me Mehandi Rang Layegi looks like a classic when I discuss films like Dharmadhikari, Kaamyaab, Maqsad or a Pataal Bhairavi
Also Jumping Jack’s Sentimental Classics like Mehandi Rang Layegi, Maang Bharo Sajna, Judaai, Raste Pyar Ke have seems to be churned out again in Amrit Manthan by Ekta Kapoor and her contemporaries at the time when the saas bahu serials were in infancy as Ramola Sikand had not arrived then and the females were not that negative and horrible.. I have heard (and observed) that many a times the serial makers used to “Copy and Paste” same scenes from the classics mentioned above, keeping even the same dialogs..
This makes me wonder if we can list some duds of the 70’s. I am sure there were enough of them.
kcp: some of the ‘gems’ from the 70s that innediately come to mind are Bundalbaaz, Karmyogi, Nagin, Bin Phere Hum Tere, Sajan Bina Suhagan…
I may not have had the ‘joyous experience’ of watching these films at the dodgy cinema’s in India, but boy did my mum make up for that or what?!
I completely see where Tony Mera Naam is coming from.
My ‘Nirupa Roy’ mum, would play these films ALL day long!
So the showtimes were 9-12, 12-3, 3-6, 6-9 etc!
If you ask me, i’d much rather have seen just the one show on a larger than life cinema screen
The effects aren’t as severe as having the video tape at home with a melodramatic mum
Steve, oh man.. I think you had it much worse than me… only 1 show a day of that stuff (with some Ramayan thrown in for good measure)… but that’s how I got so into Hindi films in the first place… My Dad would rescue me by only playing good films when he was home… so I got exposed to some great films from the 60’s & 70’s…
Aditya… yup your right… I meant Swarg Se Sundar… like I said, its all a blur for me…
Another supergem from Dharmadhikari:
Tune apne gharwaale
Mohre bana daale
Tera dharm toh jeet gaya
Tere paas bacha ab kya
Charnon Ki Saugandh, Mard Ki Zabaan, Hum Farishtey Nahin, Dariyadil, Jeete hain Shaan Se - this is the stuff you see bathed in a white light just before you die.
oh my god… this series has potential!
amazing!! swarg se sundar was such a torture, as were all thse movies. it had another stunner of a song- patjahd sawan basant bahar- ek baras ke mausam char!!! paachwan mausam pyar ka- eeks, one cud puke at those lyrics. some more gems- Justice choudhary, tohfa, and masterji- anyone remembers masterji? rajesh khanna and jeetendra?
Brilliant……..loved it…Please do a review of Mithun-Dimple’s Bees Saal Baad…That one is a classic!!!!
Paritosh @ 32,
That song is from Sindoor - Shashi Kapoor, Jaya Prada, Govinda, Neelam, Rishi Kapoor, Jeetendra et al.
I recently watched a Mehul kumar(krantiveer fame) classic called Jungbaaz while travelling in a VIdeo Coach and man it was a trip to remember..remember a song.. ganga jaisa man tera.. dhincak dhinchak..gore mukh pe sawera. dhinchak dhinchak.. I plead guilty..all my jarmush, takishi mikke watching hasn’t washed away my sins.. I still enjoyed those movies..there were some gems.. Dariya Dil, Jeete hai shaan se, jaisi karni waisi bharni and Swarg which was a GREAT GREAT movie. and the CLASSIC “Dance Dance”..I still remember every sunday evening giving my parents great pain to get the VCR and Color TV on rent.. I feel sorry for those directors..mehul kumars, shibu mitras, ismaeel shroffs, and those ones which churned out movies like a printing press and are lost in wilderness nowadays. Anees Bazmee is of that ilk.. Lucky bugger..one of the few old world guardians of bollywood in this age of over educated but still talentless directors.
oh yes, its from sindoor!
baap mana gaye aapko Oz bhai..it takes guts to watch but more guts to admit that u hv gone thru such brutal molestation
Happened to watch the climax of MRL on TV today…Rekha’s final dialogue is a masterpiece. “Mrs. banne ka avsar to har aurat ko milta hai, leking umr bhar ‘miss’ rehne ka saubhagya bahut kam auraton ko milta hain” and she walks alone into the sunset. Sorely miss such profound dialogue riters today!!
[...] retrospect to Oz’s posts on the tortures of the 80’s, I was thinking of a few names of good movie of the 80’s. Most of them ( the list of names [...]