The TRULY TRIVIAL
Prejudice is opinion without judgement.
Appreciation is a wonderful thing: It makes what is excellent in others belong to us as well.
I disapprove of what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it.
Voltaire; French author, humanist, rationalist, & satirist (1694 – 1778)
I take this opportunity to begin this super-frivolous post on a somewhat more serious note. I am truly appalled to see the horrible backlash on reviews that are in any way critical of Taare Zameen Par, including the ones by Kavita and Kartik Krishnan on PFC. While it is a fine film and a brave effort, is being critical of TZP a crime? If I did not totally freak out on it, should I be hanged?
I admit I am often quite opinionated myself- however, I think it is time we at PFC learn to respect others’ views. PFC is a great forum fuelled by lots of passion and diverse opinions. My request to everyone out there is simple- feel free to agree or disagree with what anyone says- argue; try to convince others or make thenm see your point of view- but do not condemn an opinion- unless it is based on prejudice or lack of knowledge. For example, while this review of No Smoking by Raja Sen is one you might disagree with, this one by Prithviraj Hegde is realy the one that should be condemned strongly. Hope to see more healthy and sensible discussion on this wonderful forum.
And now, I give you- the most ridiculous awards of the season- bring on the rotten eggs and tomatoes!
The TRULY TRIVIAL® Awards- 2007
-Cinematic event of the Ear- To a Disco ball Falling on Bobby Deol’s Head in the ’so bad- it’s good’ masterpiece Shakalaka Fuck Fuck (lovingly rechristened by Shri Anurag Kashyap) and he consequently going deaf. Hear, hear, I say.
(Honestly, am tempted to take out a whole list of awards dedicated to this landmark film with such deliciously bad direction and performances)
-Super Straightforward title Award- To Dus Kahaaniyan and Good Boy, Bad Boy
-Satyanash Bhatt Award for Horrible Plagiarization- To two totally derailed films- The Train and Fool ‘N’ Final- whose makers have truly carried forward the grand Bhatt tradition in full spirit- even snatching the taglines of the original films!
-Navjot Sidhu Award for Verbal Diarrhoea- To Cheeni Kum- for being a very irritating repartee contest between Tangri Kebab and Ghasphoos (for God’s sake, STOP!) and for being the very definition of an overwritten film. Also gets the dubious Unintentionally and Grossly Pornographic Title Award.
-Love thy Enemy Award- Sanjay Gupta, for immediately snatching the er, credit (read: blame) from Apoorva Lakhia for Shootout At Lokhandwala. (He also gets a special mention for proving that 10 films for the price of 1 do not guarantee paisa vasool and for the weirdest tagline of the year- ‘Based on True Rumors’)
-Ek Chunari, Teen Daag Award- To Rani Mukherji (for 3 stains on a strong career namely, Tara Rum Pum, LCMD and Saawariya), who also earns the special Tere Naam Trophy for most Hideous wig for Tara Rum Pum and ‘under probation’ status from the Fashion Police.
-Healthy Item of the Year- Urmila Matondkar. After seeing anorexic Kareena Kapoor in It’s Rocking and Starved Six Pack Khan in Dard-e-Disco, it was positively delightful and refreshing to see Urmila’s jiggling tummy and thunderous thighs in her Mehbooba number from RGV Ki Ugh.
-Bole Mere Lips Award- To Nisha Kothari for possesing the most amazingly elastic and expressive lips in the world (their massive expressive range includes a scared pout, a sad pout, a sweet pout, a seductive pout and the I’m Super Dumb pout). She also gets the coveted Aa Khushi Se Khud Khushi Kar Le Award for making us want to kill ourselves every time she appeared on screen in RGV ki Ugh.
-Huggies Diaper Award + an endorsement offer- To Sajid Khan, for recognizing the importance of giving dirty diapers more screen time in Heyy Babyy, which was a shitty film in more ways than one .
-Impossible is Nothing Award – To Himesh Reshammiya, for being seduced by Mallika Sherawat and spurning her, for getting Auto Rickshaws in Germany and finally, for proving that a singer who can’t act can still deliver a hit at the BO.
-Unconditional Love Award- To Subhash K Jha, who despite blue-eyed boy Sameer Dattani’s ten-thousand failed attempts at launching himself, still thinks the boy’s gonna be a superstar some day- sigh… (He also gets the Most Outrageously Funny Statements by a Film Journalist Award- “Life Mein Kabhie Kabhie- my favorite episodic film of the year.” and “What was so wrong about Marigold? Could we not see a gori take away an Indian lad?”)
-Shilpa Shetty’s Bade Bhaiyya Award- To Vipul Shah- for being super-racist giving it back in the same spirit to the bloody goras in Namastey London.
-Corny Dialogue of the Year Award- “Daag? What Daag? Tum to mere liye Ganga samaan ho.” – Abhishek Bachchan in Laaga Chunari Mein Daag
(beating out close competition from ‘You have gone on to the dark path, my son.” – Dharmendra in Johnny Gaddaar- intentionally unintentional hilarity, was it?)
-Most Superbly Ribald Dialogue of the Year- “Kya? Tumhara Sex ho gaya?”- Abhishek Bachchan in Jhoom Barabar Jhoom -also closely followed by “Naughty Pussy!”- Shahrukh Khan in Om Shanti Om.
-Most Horribly Ribald Dialogue of the Year-Cricket? I love Cricket- gyaarah aaadmi ek ball ke peechhe…aur aaj-kal to ball- tampering bhi hota hai…haw haw.”- Suresh Menon in Partner.
-Ram Gopal Varma Bravery Award- For all those who suffered RGV’s insanity unleashed in theatres- give yourself a huge hand of applause- you have successfully passed a trial by fire, quite literally.
Anurag Kashyap
Abhay Deol
Dibakar Banerjee
Hansal Mehta
Khalid Mohamed
Kundan Shah
Anish Kuruvilla
Jaideep Verma
Manish Gupta
Navdeep Singh
Bhavani Iyer
D. Santosh
Onir
Ashvin Kumar
Ramu Ramanathan
Sudhir Mishra
Pankaj Advani
Revathy
Saurabh Shukla
Shilpa Shukla
Sujoy Ghosh
Suparn Verma
Santosh Sivan
Shashank Ghosh
Shivajee
Pavan Kaul
Partho Sen-Gupta
Prroshant Naryannan
Sam Langoria
Satish Kasetty
lol
i read this somewhere else !!!
this is funny….:d
I second george.. i have been feeling deja vu while reading the article.. have u mentioned this elsewhere on PFC
@ Sudhir, George-
Yes I had written some of this as part of my earlier article, however since it became too long and I had a lot to add, I posted it separately. Hope you enjoyed reading, though…cheers!
Ha ha ha ha…:d Good ones! Disagree about Cheeni Kum, though. At what point would one consider a film overwritten?
phunny Jahan!
thanx for showing support, much appreciated.
@Kenny- Though it is purely my personal opinion, I found the non-stop trying-to-be-too-smart lines in Cheeni Kum tiresome after a while, and the reason I call it overwritten is that I was actually DYING to hear a ‘normal’ conversation without smart-arsed lines from ‘Ghasphoos’, ‘Tangri Kebab’, ‘Sexy’ and the like.
Life Mein Kabhie Kabhie- my favorite episodic film of the year.
Superb Jahan..
I totally totally agree with you
and
“Life Mein Kabhie Kabhie- my favorite episodic film of the year.