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I don’t watch horror films ’cause I live alone. At least, that used to be my excuse for the last three years. I had a nice little 3-room first-floor pad all to myself for just 3500 bucks a month in Guwahati. Visitors always asked why I needed such a large place. Well, I couldn’t find a 2-room place in time, that’s all. Unfortunately, even in those days of living alone, I did end up watching quite a few horror films – Dhol, RGV Ki Aag, Buddha Mar Gaya, Fool ‘n’ Final, etc.

I’ll never forget that I watched Bhoot in the very first row of 3 C’s in Lajpat Nagar, Delhi. I think it kind of masochistic to be a horror film fan. Personally, I don’t enjoy the prospect of getting miniature sample heart attacks every few minutes - I get enough of those when I see wonderful ‘performances’ by any new ‘dude’ with six abs and seven grey cells or a ‘babe’ with skimpy clothes and skimpier brains. (My dear acting classmates, I don’t mean you.) Plus, there’s the little problem of passing the night without jumping at sudden noises and your own shadow and reflection here and there. By a very bad coincidence, the day I watched Bhoot, I had to spend the night alone. I left all the lights on. Can’t remember if I moved like a commando on my trips to the bathroom.

I’ve watched three fantastic zombie movies over the past two weeks. I just thought I’d put down a few thoughts on what I’ve learnt from them.

28 Days Later

I’d watched this once before. So this was a second viewing. A fantastic beginning. Grips you straight away. The scenes of a deserted London were fabulous. I haven’t dug into my subconscious that deeply, so I don’t yet understand why I love dystopian or apocalyptic films like V For Vendetta, Strange Days, Reign of Fire, The Day After Tomorrow, Sin City, Terminator 3, etc. Maybe it’s a “thank God we’re not that far gone” feeling. The acting’s terrific, of course. I like the average British actor more than the average American. Maybe it’s the accent.

The music was fabulous, at the climax, especially. Being a bit of an amateur rock musician myself, I guess I loved the guitar-heavy work. Same reason why I loved the score of Iron Man.

I wasn’t consciously aware of this during the first watch, but one reason the tension in this film stayed so high is the odds were very heavily stacked against the heroes. I guess I could call this lesson ‘The Importance of Having Very Powerful Antagonists’. A city full of zombies isn’t good news on its own. Add to that a unit of trained, armed to the teeth soldiers and things get extremely hairy for our heroes.

Also, the sequences are structured almost like a road movie, yet seamlessly flow into one another. But there’s no pause for a breather. I don’t recall a single dull minute when something really bad might not happen just about now.

Shaun of the Dead

One of the most well-written movies of any genre. It ranks #233 on IMDB’s all time list. I’d heard a lot about it but got a chance to watch it only last week. I knew it was a zombie romantic comedy, but I had no idea it was this funny. There’s humour in a lot of unexpected ways and moments. The zombie part came in much later than one would expect. The romantic comedy aspect of it was so hilarious I nearly forget that there’d soon be zombies knocking on the door. I’m not sure what the defining elements of British humour are, but I love it. I’m a big fan of the Yes Minister series and John Cleese and Alan Rickman and a few others which I hope other PFCites will knock back into memory.

Maybe I’m just rambling here, but the LP-throwing-at-zombie scene was a good lesson in using highly unexpected and unrelated actions to add to the comedy. People who’ve seen the movie will understand what I mean. People who haven’t seen the movie, should. See it, I mean.

Also, the importance of a little bit of backstory for the people on screen. It’s not always necessary, but it makes characters more real.

Setups and payoffs. The front door and the ex-girlfriend being two prime examples.

Observation of life. Too philosophical, eh? There’re some remarkable shots in Shaun of the Dead which don’t come from using prescribed formulas but from just seeing something in life and being inspired. I allude to the shots of people at a bus stop all looking at their watches at the same time, and another group of kids practicing football, all already behaving like zombies. Never mind if you don’t understand what I mean; it’s meant to be a visual, just watch the movie.

Guys like Simon Pegg (writer-hero) and Mike White (School of Rock, The Good Girl, Nacho Libre) are a huge source of inspiration for me. Writer-actors, man!

A final word of recommendation. I haven’t watched Dawn of the Dead etc, the ilk of which provided Simon Pegg and Edgar Wright their inspiration, but Shaun of the Dead has quite a bit of the normal gore one would expect from a flesh-eating zombie flick. And it makes many so-called attempted ‘comedy’ films seem like Lady in the Water in comparison. And definitely watch the extras on the DVD. They are atrociously funny.

The Descent

I had never heard of this film before, which is a good exercise in watching a film with zero expectations. I had heard of nobody in the cast and crew. All I knew was that it was a horror film, and even that was in occasional doubt for about the first 20 minutes.

A gory accident and a couple of horror-like hallucinations occured in the first 10 minutes, which straightaway underlined that this was probably going to be a bloody movie. A good lesson in setting up audience expectations, and of having something happen if you need a little build-up before your main story starts.

Six (or was it seven) women with adventure in their soon-to-be-spilled blood and guts go deep into some jungle to descend into a really deep, unexplored cave. If I reveal any further, I’d be killing some of the fun for you, although I think the title of my little rant already provides a not-too-subtle hint.

Sure, we know that in a horror movie with a bunch of people strung together, only one of them, or one pair of them, is going to make it home with all their body parts intact (not even sure of that last bit - think of Frodo’s finger). The fun lies in watching how imaginatively the writers can channel their sick twisted imaginations and dreams into getting rid of the characters. I’m glad I don’t have even half of Stephen King’s mind, although I wouldn’t mind having half of half of half of his royalties.

The Descent is extremely bloody and very gory, but it’s kind of classy in a way. Do NOT let your kids or kid brothers and sisters watch any of these movies, by the way. I myself couldn’t practice what I’ve preached, though, ’cause my younger brother watched it. Because he was the one who rented the DVD. And also maybe because he’s 25 years old.

I wandered again. The Descent just doesn’t light up on the tension once things start happening. A great thing to keep in mind when writing horror. Or anything. Hitchcock said, “Always make the audience suffer as much as possible.” (Apparently, he was a big tharki buddha, according to Donald Spoto in his book The Dark Side of Genius: The Life of Alfred Hitchcock.)

Watching horror movies with the fairer sex

The fun of watching a horror movie increases if your companion is an excitable girl. (Is there such a thing as a non-excitable girl?) My bro and I were doing the asli-mard thing of not jumping at the shocks in The Descent, but what probably got to him more was his girlfriend grabbing his arm or throat at every ‘boo!’ moment.

I’ll never forget the second time I watched The Sixth Sense. It was with a female friend. Through the corner of my eye, I was watching and waiting for her reaction when the first ghost appears. Boy did she jump at least a few inches off her chair!

Hey, I just remembered, I’ve actually dramatized and filmed the reason I don’t watch horror movies in one of the short films I’d made for PFCOne last year. Maybe I’ll put it up on youtube when the stars are aligned right.