Thunderstorm 99 – Before Mundu there was Mindi
Happy days are here again. Back are the days of watching films at the CineMandir. The days of cheap thrills while watching the bewildered faces at the Box Office by asking ‘1 ticket each of 3 consecutive shows for the same film’. Aah bliss! ‘Mast naha-dhoke scent maarke’ reached Inox. Bought the tickets, bewildered the ticket guy & looked admiringly at the ticket. Read everything on it. Folded it and put it back into the pocket. Some more time before the first show started…
Got in a little early, pissed off, that the security guy took away my lighters. (I carry 2, in case one goes bust). Come on, I wouldn’t burn down my CineMandir. Anyways that done, I strolled in the alley up and down. Soaking in the ambience that I so missed for more than a month now! The smell of the popcorn. The lure of the snooty 50 Rs. bhelpuri wala. The MG Road hotties. Everything was there intact. Apocalypse ain’t here yet. Glory be to Lord CineIndra
Flashback: Friday noon my younger bro gave me a missed call. Usually if he calls on noon its either paise ka panga ya Dimple (his GF, name changed to protect identity) ka danga. I called him back and he was laughing hard. The real version of LOL. He said “Bhai Patrick is back”. I heaved a sigh of relief. Now to quote my fav PFC author ‘dabba’ here goes “To prevent mad hordes from coming at me in the comments section with rocket launchers and dried fruit, allow me to clarify” this is a review (nearly) of the film 99.
I LOVED IT. TOTALLY. In these times of recession, if someone watches a film thrice, you have to take his word. This movie 99 is significant to me in more ways than one. The year 99 was my year just outta school, just in college. I had the first entrepreneurial bug bite me. Too bad. Me along with a friend had planned a New Year Bash called ‘Thunderstorm 99′. Till 2 days to the event we hadn’t sold a single ticket. We had to pay 900 bucks to the hotel (that was the booking amount, which were to pay in case the event didn’t happen)
We called off ‘Thunderstorm 99′. In those days, for me, 900 bucks was an unheard amount. The place where I was an apprentice (read glorified peon), I was paid 250 bucks every 2 months, so that didn’t help. Asking parents would be blasphemy. They didn’t even know I was organizing an event. Had they known, I would have been thrown out. Pronto. So there was a guy I knew who was into betting. I didn’t know what he bet on & how, but he was the only guy who used to make ‘SOLID MAAL’ in those days.
My day would start by going to his home & making a sorry face. Then he would tell me “Bhai chinta nahi, aaj mil jaayenge tere 900 rupaye”. The routine continued for a week but his luck was fcuked or may be I was jinxed. He never won a rupee. I used up the little bit I had by buying Samosa-Jalebi for him. That was when I heard the word – MINDI. In betting lingo it meant ZERO. Now Mindi was supposed to be his lucky number, but not mine. When I totally lost my patience, I told him “Mindi ki ma ki, Nawwaa (9) pe laga”. He was taken aback. He placed the bet. We won. Problem solved. Yay. Such is luck.
That was then, now I am a God-fearing South Indian working as a bank executive as my parents would want. NO. Hell, I just don’t place bets. Despite the fact that I know that 9 is my lucky number. ;-) I am trying to be a nice guy you see. Whatever that means. OK, now the Y2K syndrome. I have to share this BIGGEST CON OF MY LIFE. I mean I got conned. My parents were worried sick about me. They knew that with a B.Com degree I wouldn’t get anywhere in life. Rightly so.
So to add aura to my resume, they asked me to do a computer course. I was scooted off to find out what course would be best. Those days the Y2K hype was too big and everyone knew that being in computers was akin to saving the world. I HATED I.T. from the bottom of my heart. I knew I was a misfit. Anyways, I landed at an IT Training Insti with hatred in my guts (towards myself, my parents and my life in general). And I saw HER for the first time.
I had never seen someone so beautiful. She was the counsellor. LOL. Love at first sight. She took me to a cabin and brainwashed me thoroughly and I was baptised. I went back home & convinced my parents that a “Higher Diploma in S/ware Engg” will assure me a fantastic career. They agreed as they knew for sure that I would end up a “Bekaam B.Com”. 40 Grands (course fee) gone down the drain. Sorry mom. Sorry dad. I hate myself for that till date.
SO Y2K was the buzzword then. While my batchmates struggled with C++ codes of making Airline registration s/ware, I was assigned to make a presentation to educate the whole of the Insti students about Y2K. That was the highest highpoint of that course. I made my first presentation in life & was on top of the world. Even the counsellor appreciated me. What to tell you darling kya hua… Anyways I left the course mid-way immediately after she left. Alas.
Back to 99. I don’t understand why people didn’t like the first half. The whole theater was laughing out loud. Really loud. Throughout. Its a totally mad caper. It’s laughter therapy. It’s a reminder to not take life seriously. Its a reminder that shit happens. Its a reminder that you must move on. Its a reminder that you must switch off your phones once in a while. The bastard at my right took 3 calls. I took revenge by stamping his toes thrice. Hah revenge!
Every performance was a delight. There were quirks sprinkled all over. There was Cyrus Broachasaurus Maximus Hillarious. There was Kunal Khemu (1st time I didn’t pray he never grew up). Of course there was Boman Irani. Soha Ali Khan (Thandi aahein. LOL). Sanjay Manjrekar at his bhaigiri best. Watch this movie friends. If you don’t it will go down / up in the league of Jhankaar Beats, Waisa Bhi Hota Hai and the ilk. Top class comic timing by all. And I’m spitting the truth, Patrick is back.
Tags: 99
Anurag Kashyap
Abhay Deol
Dibakar Banerjee
Hansal Mehta
Khalid Mohamed
Kundan Shah
Anish Kuruvilla
Jaideep Verma
Manish Gupta
Navdeep Singh
Bhavani Iyer
D. Santosh
Onir
Ashvin Kumar
Ramu Ramanathan
Sudhir Mishra
Pankaj Advani
Revathy
Saurabh Shukla
Shilpa Shukla
Sujoy Ghosh
Suparn Verma
Santosh Sivan
Shashank Ghosh
Shivajee
Pavan Kaul
Partho Sen-Gupta
Prroshant Naryannan
Sam Langoria
Satish Kasetty
The humour of the movie is outstandingly subtle, tounge-in-cheek and twisted, and hence may not be appreciated by people who don’t like Guy Ricthie kinds treatment.
It heavily reminded me of Lock Stock & two somking barrels, but the desi flavour was 100%, especially the Delhi stuff.
Dimple- Kuber is howlarious.
Read the article once again. 99% flashback, 1% review…;-)
I advise you carry one matchbox two and keep inside the socks in case both your lighters go bust of snatched :D
LOL @ mindi ki ma ki…
Awesome Awesome K! Kinda got to know you thru this, kinda get into similiar problems like you, haha. Loved the personal touch you add into articles man, btw its Mahesh Manjrekar, not Sanjay. Sanjay’s a cricketer!
Movie is amazing…
BTW…actor is Mahesh Manjrekar not Sanjay Majrekar…
Too good….ab toh dekhna hi padega….yea I miss the MG Road hotties too….both inside the theater and outside…..
Hey!Magik – this made for real cool reading.and yes gave me a lot of insight into your life too
I’m watching the movie in the next 2-3days time
( definitely before the 1st week run of the movie is over). BTW let me tell you an incident that occured last weekend- was @ another Inox elsewhere in the country & happened to carry a matchbox with me which I forgot to keep it away in my vehicle – to my surprise, it passed through the frisking- maybe its to do with the frequent visitor status that I have there
English of Kuber and signal search of Rahul are superb.loved this movie…..
Andhe Ko Aur Kya Chahiye, Do Aankhen!!! Bas Mil Gayee..
CineMandir is as lucky to see you…
Thanks for this Magik! I will see the film, pukka. You know, surprisingly, I was not finding company to see the film! I will now show some friends some reviews and coax them to come along!
@ ~uh~ : LOL. glad u liked it. Thanks for the maachis wala suggestion.
@ J: Thanks for the correction. i was so excited… so…
@ anand: Thanks for the correction.
@ vineet: hotties i tell ya!
@ Sethu: frequent visitor eh! sahi… movie dekh daal… frikkin fun…
@ yayaver: true man… cudnt agree more…
@ vee: thanks thanks thanks
@ Arati: take the whole gang & act snooty when they thank you for dragging ‘em to watch 99.
Thats wut i loved about your posts….not a detailed review, no gyan giving on direction and acting, no credit giving ceremony…yet tempted me to watch the movie.
Keep it up bro..
~Ashu
@ Ashu: Glad that you like it this way! do watch the movie. total apne type ki hai bhai. kickass mad mad fun!
koi aisa delhi waala/waali jisko ye movie dekhne ka bahut mann hai lekin koi saathi nahi mil raha kripya mujhe sampark karne ka kasht karein
aapka abhaari
anjaan vyakti
@ magik
“And I saw HER for the first time.”
Did any constructive thing happen with her ??
@ anjaan vyakti: aapko sampark karne ke liye koi doorbhaash kramaank to dete. LOL. And yes, like all my other love stories, this one flopped too! LOL.
ye comments gayab kaise ho rahe hain !!!
hahaha …. well the interested person can post a comment here
…. i just send the link of this post to a friend of mine and she thought i m the author ! …. we do have many similarities …. i was totally awestruck with a trainer of mine and guess what she has invited me at her place for dinner :P
@ Shatik: lucky boy you! hope it dint end @ dinner. LOL.
actually she is married …. and the dinner is tonight …. 1 of my list of flop love stories.
@ Shatik: May the force be with you bro!
lol …. great post btw …. was a fun read …. i should go now …. need time to plan and prepare …. dnt wanna screw up at the dinner tonight (pun unintended) …. ciao
Hey Magik.. Its such a fun to read this post of yours… not heavily loaded with lingo of cinema… yet enough to push the folks to theater.. make up my mind for watching the movie.. ur post helps !!
Maamu,
Banchpan ki jawaani yaad dila di!!! LOl! Real wala!! Jalebi ki kassam bahut din se itna funny life review nahin padhaa…movie dekhni hai aur zaroor dekhunga but your life review was funny as hell (heaven is too straight jacketed to be funny!) I hope you find the IT coaching wali bandi back on facebook or Orkut and start a whole new love affair that you can tell about to your kids (both legit and otherwise)!!
Keep writing…
@ ScrapManic: am glad you liked it. take a bunch of like-minded crazy friends and have a fabulous time laughing your guts out!
Oye mamu…hope you wont mind-eth if I call it the pakka-popcorn-post bringing back the lost charm of PFC…
We need such mix-hed n real stuff, wat else would you call cinema????
@ SM: thanks bro. the encouragement will help me write better. viva cinema!
99 Lovers and their large numbers put me in a “super minority.” Like Praja Rajyam I win just one vote and thats mine.
Saw 99. The three people I loved on screen
Amit Mistry, Mahesh Manjrekar ,ALL THE FAT ASS CHICKS THE STEADYCAM FOLLOWED (kuddos to the director duo for that
)
Off Screen – Rajeev Ravi. SOLID!!!
Desi Guy Ritchie – this is definitely not.
A few shots and the couches and and the wall colors.YES. That was as close to Guy Ritchie this got.
Kunal Khemu is no Jason Statham. Would have loved it if he was more of a smart-ass loser with a LOADS of attitude and style. Maybe that was the plan….but…..NOPES did not show.
Esp. the scene where he comes to steal JC’s mobile. That should have been more confident and some real cool body moves….not the bumbling snooper.
Cyrus – MTV VJs, bad actors.
Raja Sen – he shares his credits with others but still very neat ENGLISH to HINDI transition. Should hand that to them. Its a ENGLISH script, the fundamentals are ENGLISH but I think the dialogues were still in place for a hindi film.
Soha – what happened to her!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Boman – already “RIP” in my books.
Simon – wooohhhaaaaaa, she got hotter.
Dimple – great casting.
Hit Man 2 – good selection from action director’s team to mouth dialogues. That rarely happens. Good one.
Screenplay – I was sitting with a friend. Was asking “yeh scene kyon tha….” my friend “uske pehlewala bhi kyon tha…”
Thought it’s a everything connects in the end screenplay some scenes really were “WHY”.
OR the reason I was saying this was…..
Soha – Kunal – ice cold as Dilli ki sardi. What was happening there? Cold Coffee.
Cribbing – What could have been a COOLER and much SLICKER “Khosla Ka Ghosla” turns out to be a much better, tight budget CASH.
@ Veejay: thanks a lot oye… tere mooh mein ghee-shakkar, cranberry breezer daal ke.
@ Dr. Fu Man Chu: to each his own!
@ Dr. Fu Man Chu: To qoute AK Now is the time- All the cinema all at PFC has been waiting for…is here.. patronise it.. From 13 B, to Little Zizou to Gulaal to Firaaq to Barah Aana to Straight . All the indie, low budget movies are here, the kind we want to make or watch and noone is going to the theatres. Ignore the reviews, make your opinions, love it , hate it, discuss it later but first go and watch it.
.
dude am glad u watched it. thanks.
phodu article hai bhai !! actually vo tere y2k presentations abhi bhi ghar pe hai !!! never told me the real story before this ??!! anand aa gaya.. aur kuch acha naam hi soch leta bhai… dimple?????????? shit..
@ Kirtan: luv u bro. cudn’t resist the dimple dig. no offence. cheerz!
“To qoute AK Now is the time- All the cinema all at PFC has been waiting for…is here.. patronise it”
the idea is to talk about it and discuss it for its merits and demetits not just “patronise it”. I seriously think you did not really get what AK said. get into his psyche to know more
(kidding). I am here to talk my mind and am not doing anyone or any “movement” a favour by watching films. I watch them cause I love them. Not become someone told me too.
“dude am glad u watched it. thanks.”
are you the producer of 99? why thank me? Cinema Guardian? Who appointed you?
@ Dr. Fu Man Chu: didn’t mean to offend you… my gartitude to you, only as a humble fanboy of such films. lets just leave it at that. thanks.
magik nothing personal re….just that PFC sometimes becomes a preaching site for AK’s gospel. Why does it have to be an “AK says”. Why not what you wanted to say. i commented on your article as i want to know your thoughts? If not I would have commented on one of AKs post…If I wanted to know what he thinks. ….ok i’ll leave it at that.
Sorry, last dig
“All the indie, low budget movies are here,”
99 – “Screen” says was 14 crs. !!!!