Unregulated Independence
In no other field of work do you witness such a plethora of posturing, a surfeit of self-serving delusion as in the realm of Independent cinema. There I have said it!
After I had been hired, following yet another terrific round of auditions by yet another Independent Producer/Director all set to make their Film Festival Circuit movie, I got the dreaded, rather by now, expected phone call saying shooting was canceled indefinitely due to production schedule conflicts. A chain e-mail went out to the remainder of the cast, informing them of the same. Men and women who had spent their time living in these roles through auditions and callbacks and second callbacks, table reads and rehearsals in some cases even wardrobe fittings, only to be told politely but ambiguously – wait until notified. Indefinite in this case means strictly indefinite. In the abundance of indifferent writing and over ambitious budgeting (just a hunch), all connection with reality was temporarily abandoned in a rush to production! When came time to write that first check (once again just my guess), judgment day had arrived.
Funny how, not one of those independent movies ever got made till this day. At last count, I had booked around eight of them.
All this, while continuously being commended on my craft. Complimented on the complete ease with each role was executed and the range that I had shown. Perfectly complimentary. But alas one cannot take compliments to the bank nor can you post it on IMDB nor produce a reel. Last but not the least; you have to sheepishly capitulate to friends and family that you’ve been had by yet another prankster out there! Little do they know of the inner workings of the movie business! This is how it goes, OK! There is nothing unusual about this. Neither is it a comment on my prowess as a skilled practitioner of the trade I so willfully chose over all others available to me following years of sharpening my training, my self-awareness and re-ordering my life around that what I can agree is what I do best.
Who am I kidding?
Grow up, I am told. A sucker is what I am. Get a real job I am told, and see that you are surrounded by individuals out to make a fool of others more trusting than them.
This is when you say enough is enough. Soul, meet woman in the mirror. Take a good hard look at yourself. Is this your worth? Wake up, you do. You decide to create your own space, order your own life around your own talents. You decide to wait no more. Wait not, want not.
My wake-up call was when I met my alter-ego at yet another audition playing a Persian or Arab or Middle-Eastern or Pakistani or East-Indian woman/mother/doctor (nearly always with an accent – more created than actual) caught in a turmoil in a Western world not quite her own…
Welcome to my world. If it IS my world then I AM my destiny. I create, I execute, I project and I produce.
CUT TO – Two years down the road I hold in my hand, my original screenplay “CHOOSING SIDES” – an Action Drama. My own creation, my labor of love. Now, it is time to bring my baby out into the world.
The first draft. A few days later, I give it its first makeover. My baby is out of diapers and now a toddler, sweet and innocent. I am proud and happy but admit it has miles to go. Next step teenager, some hard edges creep in, some amount of deep angst reveals itself. I am shocked by the metamorphoses, but I love my baby. I take a good hard look at it. What it has lost in innocence it has gained in worldliness, still delightful to watch in full action, but truer than ever. Not out to please everyone. It now has a distinct personality. A second look reveals a small sense of self-consciousness a trifle insecure. I bide, as time passes – several workshops, seminars and classes later (after all, nothing is more repugnant than unschooled outpourings without the containment of a styled craft) maturity starts to show in my budding young adult now ready to take its place in the world – speak and be heard from. More makeovers in the form of a couple of re-writes is followed closely by some very heart-warming coverage from the pros, a script-writing competition, even one award and now my child is just about ready to face the challenges of a consumer world into which it will now take its first steps. Confident yet without the brashness of the early days, let it walk through the throng and find its place in a world full of stories. I have watched it shed its virginal vulnerability and grow strong and assured of its own value. Let it now go forth and fulfill its ultimate task – to entertain – to stand tall defined by its unique character and its quality. Sans the separation anxiety that once plagued me, I am ready to see it face its created destiny in the harsh light of tender possibilities that is Hollywood – magic of the movies!
Tags: action, Choosing Sides, drama, feature, festival, film, game show, Hollywood, imdb, Independent, LIVE, Los Angeles, magic, Movies, Production, Screenplay, Script, Stories, terrorist, Tori Roy, TV, WGA
Anurag Kashyap
Abhay Deol
Dibakar Banerjee
Hansal Mehta
Khalid Mohamed
Kundan Shah
Anish Kuruvilla
Jaideep Verma
Manish Gupta
Navdeep Singh
Bhavani Iyer
D. Santosh
Onir
Ashvin Kumar
Ramu Ramanathan
Sudhir Mishra
Pankaj Advani
Revathy
Saurabh Shukla
Shilpa Shukla
Sujoy Ghosh
Suparn Verma
Santosh Sivan
Shashank Ghosh
Shivajee
Pavan Kaul
Partho Sen-Gupta
Prroshant Naryannan
Sam Langoria
Satish Kasetty
Tori Roy, you rock!!! Rule Hollywood, girl.
Ah, even with the disappointments, would you ever disagree with the magic of seeing yourself on screen , by name or frame??
And the only way one gets there is by the nether world of indie cinema.
Its worth it. You shall prove yourself so. All the very best!
i just loved ur cribbing!!
crib here means manner of complaining!! i hope i got the word right!!
I hear from everyone who matters and living right that achieving doesnt matter, doing it does. And you are!
Thank you for reading, guys. Thank you for the kind words.
Hi Tory..highly appreciate your styled craft..sad to know about your experience with the indie world scene..but then life is not easy..
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Have read the synopsis of ‘Choosing Sides’ at massify..very interesting plotine with great potential..quite sure the script would be wonderful also, seeing your wonderful writing style. All the best with it!!
third line: plot-line not plotine..