Veer Zara..sa
Print
Veer
Cast: Salman Khan, Mithun Chakraborty, Zarine Khan, Horses, Beer Mugs
Director: Anil Sharma
Rating: Two stars (and I’m being generous)
A battle’s on, followed by much prattle. How they rattle on about the British Raj and a desert-principality presided over by a king, mostly garbed in outfits which are crow-black. Quite tack.
Indeed, here’s Anil Sharma’s magnum bogus, which turns out to be an exercise in vacuity, unless you’re partial to watching Salman Khan’s range of expressions (light grin, heavy frown, heavier frown). Or his national treasure of a chest. Or a plot that’s a goulash of ingredients seized from movies as diverse as Ivanhoe (1952) , Braveheart (1995), Gladiator (2000) and even dear old Manmohan Desai’s Dharamveer (1977). The story credited to the actor, also ransacks plenty of material from Hollywood’s Taras Bulba (1962), which incidentally, once upon a time Salim Khan had frequently announced his desire to adapt. Ay, time doth fly.
Be that as it may, this horse epic just doesn’t have any style, tension and dare one use the word, sense. Here the warrior tribe, the Pindaris, whom history notes describe as ruthless bandits, come off as cutie-pooh martial folk who have just stepped out of a cottage emporium, outfitted in colourful pugrees, rough fabric shawls and mirrorwork tunics.
The Pindari chieftain’s eyes blaze like bonfire. The second-in-command (Mithun Chakraborty) delivers thunderous speechlings and what do you know? His darling son grows up to become the eponymous toughie (Salman Khan). Since Johnny Lever and Rajpal Yadav have been busy, he’s accompanied by a comedy-attempting brother (Sohail Khan, natch) who contributes zilch to the narrative, except for making goggle-eyed faces. Believe it or not, once he even winks at the camera. Tweet, is that sweet?
Get the picture? The Pindaris booze (from quaint wooden mugs), live, love and seethe somewhere out there in Desertpur. At another sandy stretch , that mean monarch (Jackie Shroff, hello hello), in black, hangs out with such sad-looking Brits that you wish they’d bring back the far more lively Tom Alter in those colonial roles immediately. And of course, he – meaning Jackie, not Tom — has a chubby eligible daughter (Zarine Khan, sleepwalking). She could do with work-outs with the gym, but then that era didn’t even have treadmills. Instead, the lady is bathed in milk, which evidently isn’t skimmed.
Next: Toughieheart and Milk Princess fall in love, never mind if there’s as much chemistry between them as a pair of paperweights. By the way, Toughie and Comedy Bro also go off to London so that they can wear jolly hats and hiss at a Brit professor who insults every multi-racial student of his, including orientals and Afros. Heavens! Now since the screenplay is going nowhere, there’s no story left, Sharma and Co merely observe Toughie Veer take on one opponent after another, including his own father, Daddoo Kool. Plus there’s a Giant who resembles yesteryear’s Bob Christo. And hey, there’s a swayamvar to win the Milk Lady’s pasteurised hand. Suffice it to say, the ending is a hoot; if you stay through the end credit titles, you deserve one of those wooden booze mugs as a reward. If not, a certificate for bravery at least.
By comparison, Anil Sharma’s earlier work seem masterpieces, particularly the intimately scaled Shradhanjali (1981) and Dharmendra’s bone-breaker Hukumat (1987). Vis-à-vis the politically questionable Gadar (2001), let’s just say it was an enormous hit. The director does have a signature of sorts (hyper-commercial with a penchant for kitschy sets and sweeping outdoor locales). Here that is wasted on a period piece that has little else to hold it together but Salman Khan’s physique and hair extensions. The actor looks right for the part but is emotionally inert. You want to shake him up and shout, “EMOTE, man!” His scenes with Daddoo Kool are patently cliched. Mithun Chakraborty is okay but that’s about it.
Technically, like it or not the computer-enhancement shows up in the battlefield sequences. The sound recording is A-grade but the editing’s doggedly old-fashioned. Sajid-Wajid’s music score is not likely to hummed or hawed over. The costume department needs a wake-up call..the Milk Princess wears a sari and GLOVES! Ooof, what would Bhanu Athaiya say?
In effect, then, Veer is a waste or resources, talent and of course, our time..and ticket money.
Tags: Braveheart, Dharamveer, Gladiator, Jackie Shroff, kahlid mohamed, Mithun Chakravorty, Movie Review, Review, Salman Khan, Sohail Khan, Veer, Veer Movie Review, Zarine Khan
Anurag Kashyap
Abhay Deol
Dibakar Banerjee
Hansal Mehta
Khalid Mohamed
Kundan Shah
Rahul Dholakia
Anish Kuruvilla
Jaideep Varma
Manish Gupta
Navdeep Singh
Bhavani Iyer
D. Santosh
Onir
Ashvin Kumar
Ramu Ramanathan
Sudhir Mishra
Pankaj Advani
Revathy
Saurabh Shukla
Sachin Kundalkar
Shilpa Shukla
Sujoy Ghosh
Suparn Verma
Santosh Sivan
Shashank Ghosh
Shivajee
Pavan Kaul
Partho Sen-Gupta
Prroshant Naryannan
Sam Langoria
Satish Kasetty
Khalid saab- I think you’ve probably nailed this one right.I seriously wonder what made Salman and Anil Sharma go so wrong this time with this one.Just like his ( Salman’s ) previous attempt @ writing/story telling- Chandramukhi ( Salman-Sridevi ) which was a big dud, this one is likely to see history repeat again as per the feedback.I’ll still find out later tonite for myself – how wrong have they gone with this attempt to make an epic!!!
loading...
i wonder how prod/dirs get fooled into making movies written by actors; that too half-baked actors, not even thinking actors. previously too, vivek oberoi tried his hand at writing in ‘kyon ho gaya naa’ and failed miserably. these guys should stick to their prime responsibility of acting and try to excel in that, rather than making gimmicky attempt at writing.
loading...
Absolutely hillarious sirji…but pains to see so much money wasted in making this movie, and pains more to see some youngsters come out of theatres and say they loved this film cause of salman khan’s physique…its about time, such bad movies start loosing money and good movies start earning money…then maybe it will change.or atleast hope so.
loading...
i don’t know to what extent your review is accurate, but it IS pretty damn hilarious!
loading...
@ chintan – me thinks the movie was made solely for the critics to thrash – its been universally panned.
Why cant India have something similar to the Raspberry awards..
loading...
Welcome back Khalid! I googled for your 3 Idiots review only to be disappointed. Have you done one? Please post the link.
loading...
nice read… the review is better than the movie!
loading...
Khalid,
I had expected that the movie would not be up to the mark but had not expected such a hilarious review from you. Thanks for such a lovely piece to read!
loading...
Well how about Sylvester Stallone writing not just one but two sucessful ventures and then go on to make sequels, so much for thinking man’s actor. Alas, Salman could not do the same here.
loading...
It is not that bad. Many people are enjoying it. If people liked ‘Wanted’, they should like this one too.
loading...
this is a great movie which gives a mesg to bollywood dont try to copy hollywood.this is a great movie which gives a mesg to viewers dont waste yr time nd money in watching epic movie, this is a great movie which gives mesg to writers like salman dont waste ur 12 year to write a booring script & this is a great movie which gives a mesg to salman pls quit acting.
loading...
FYI – From boxofficeindia.com
“Veer had a bumper first day at single screens with 80-100% collections while multiplexes had average collections on day one. Multiplexes in metroes like Mumbai and Delhi had first day collections of around 50% while Bangalore was worst with 30%. But multiplexes in places like Jaipur, Kota, Nagpur, Agra and Indore were very good with 70-80% collections.”
http://www.boxofficeindia.com/boxdetail.php?page=shownews&articleid=1453&nCat=box_office_report
loading...
Sir
I have been reading your reviews for last 15 years. I have tracked ur reviews from Times of India,Mid day,DNA,Hindustan Times and now Passion for cinema. Just one question wz eagerly awaiting your review on 3 Idiots but it dint get published Why?
loading...
Hey Khalid…I want to ask the same thing…Where’s the 3 Idiots Review…??
loading...
I personally feel that Khaled Mohamed is the most biased reviewer ever. I too am not a big fan of Salman Khan’s acting (??), but this isn’t only about this review. Khaled’s reviews smack of personal animosity and I wouldn’t be surprised if he already writes 80% of his reviews even before watching the movie, filling the remaining 20% with some tid-bits he picks after watching the flick, to give it some credibility (read his 3I review which he posted on his Facebook profile). There should definitely be a retirement age for film critics, esp when the senile decay kicks in, as is evident in Khaled’s case.
loading...
Totally agree with you mate. PFC risks losing a great deal of its credibility by accommodating biased reviewers like Khalid Mohamad.
loading...
One line for KM: Either You Die A Hero Or You Live Long Enough To See Yourself Become The Villain..
loading...
PFC is an open forum for all to blog. Notice that many readers (myself included) enjoy his posts. I don’t think that one contributor can cause the site to lose credibility, and in fact having him here shows how open PFC is to divergent ideas and voices. I think PFC would lose credibility if it blocked people from posting, not because it allows KM to post…
loading...
Biased? Mate, you are entitled to your views but so are others. 3 Idiots may have been a super duper hit but i too fail to understand the not so commensurate merits of the film vis-a-vis its success!
‘Credibility’ is not a function of liking everything that is a HIT (or a ‘BLOCKBUSTER’!)
Veer is indeed a crap and KM is spot on in his review.
People bashed up Raja Sen too for his review on 3I (on another site) just because he did not share the extraordinary hoopla over the movie!!
Let’s stop taking ourselves too seriously!
loading...
spot on bawra_mann…..cudnt agree more!!!
loading...
ROFLOL! loved the milk jokes and references.
wooden booze mugs! cottage emporium! saaree with gloves!
lol!
loading...
Why didn’t you review 3-Idiots?
loading...
excellent review – loved the comments abt heroine
“Instead, the lady is bathed in milk, which evidently isn’t skimmed.” hilllarrioussss
and “a swayamvar to win the Milk Lady’s pasteurised hand”
awsummm
loading...
I am not sure if KM is officially writing for any print or electronic media. Those who reviewed 3Idiots and given it 2-3 star rating like Raja Sen of Rediff and Rajeev Masand got bricks. Raja even had to arrange for a web chat to justify why he has given 2 stars to 3 Idiots. It was wise for KM to keep quite and reserve his comments.
loading...
Khalid Saab!
whare had you been? It is really a treat reading your movie reviews. I have tried, indeed unsuccessfully to find your review of Guru though I quite agreed with Nikhat Kazmi of TOI. At times I still wonder what you wrote about that movie.
loading...
Mr Khalid is the most HONEST critic I have ever read in my life.He has praised Salman’s performance number of times – maine pyar kiya,tere naam,and london dreams.It is that he is like a headmaster with a stick , never praise unless it is worth the price of the ticket.
My reading of Meaning of Mr Khalid’s star ratings only for popular feel good bollywood cinema -The school of
Karan Johar,Aditya Chopra,Sooraj Barjatya,Yash Chopra,Raj Kumar Hirani,Sanjay Leela Bhansali,Raj Kumar Santoshi,Mansoor Khan etc
Two and half stars – worth one time watch
Three stars – definitely watch,worth price of your ticket
Three and half stars- go for it,see the movie with popcorn
Four stars – donot miss
Four and half stars – donot miss even if you have to sell your chaddi and banayan
Five stars- Such movies are rarely made.Watch it to Cherish your memories in your old age,when you will see it again and again holding your beloved’s hand on television.
Keep writing.
Kind Regards,
Arvind Thakur
loading...
C’mon guys. It’s a simple, earthly tale of ‘Shaurya and Veerya’ (excuse the pun) from our very own desi ‘Earn-old Show-urge-n-eagar!‘ . If Keanu Reeves defied logic in Matrix, so has our ‘Keanu Veer’ in ‘Mota-Risk’ (That’s what Veer is). :yahoo:
loading...
Khalid Mohammed is in full form. Great fun to read this one.
loading...
Boss, ‘national treasure chest’ and ‘pasturized hands’… WOW. That’s veer-y veer-y cool!
loading...
LINK for Khalid Mohamed’s 3 Idiots review of sorts in Khaleej Times -
http://www.khaleejtimes.com/weekend/inside.asp?xfile=/data/weekend/2010/January/weekend_January10.xml§ion=weekend
Usne is article mein ek teer se do nishaane maare hai…samajhdaar ko ishaare kaafi hai
loading...
Most of the people writing here haven’t even watched the film and they are just commenting about the review. How warped can discussions get? I don’t know whay people have their noses in the air and start looking down when it comes to discussing Salman’s movies. They are happy to discuss garbage like RNBJD, Billu, Chance pe Dance, Rann etc. But a different attempt like Veer? They are not even ready to check it out and see what makers have tried to do.
loading...