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With due respects to Gulzaarsaab even if Woodstock Villa was named Pathar ki Haveli, Sheeshe ka Gharaunda or Tinko Ka Nasheman, how would it matter!

What exactly White Feather Films wanted to make? (Or has the production house been making anything of substance of late anyway?)

Story credited to S Farhan and then screenplay team of three headed by Sanjay Gupta himself, film was handed over to Hansal Mehta to direct, it seems(or that’s the plea my honorable colleague is going to take henceforth)..What exactly it is..whodunnit,mistaken identity,mystery,thriller,action, horror or a launch pad for Sikander Kher and to a lesser extent Neha Uberoi?

I get creepies when any movie opens with dance number or has anything to do with gyrating and wiggling bodies..It happens here also..I wont take much of your time to narrate the story as there is hardly any story except some pegs to hang on the technique and glitz..

Arbaaz Khan does not like his wife Neha Uberoi spending her time dancing on disco floors..And then she has a grouse that he does not love her..And then she is kidnapped or stages her own kidnapping..The sucker is Sikander Kher who has not given rent for six months to none else than Sardar Shakti Kapoor..As Sardar pesters him for rent, there is Gulshan Grover with his sidekicks who wants back the money loaned to Sikander..Now why a guy like Sikander Kher back from USA who felt that everything out there was too cool and wanted some hot and spicy stuff ( hence he comes down to India) owes money to a gangster Gulshan Grover without having any draining habits of drugs or gambling beats anybody’s sensibilities..And why an arrear of six months of rent..Again no explanation..But for the writers it provides enough motivation for Sikander Kher to go along Neha Uberoi staging her own kidnapping…

And from here-on-wards it is anything and everything going awry like the camera movements in this staged ‘thriller.’ Neha Uberoi is found dead..Her body is disposed of by Sikander Kher..She resurfaces as a wannabe star in Bollywood..How?..Well the rest of the story is mainly devoted to finding out this only through Sikander Kher..And towards the end the sucker Sikander turns out to be a winner as he pips Neha Uberoi at her own game..Obviously he could not loose.. As Gulshan Grover is made to say something to the effect “Hai toh aakhir Hero”..

With all the ammo available in the editing arsenal, Hansal Mehta goes to spice up the show with jump cuts, flahes, quick dissloves, ramping..But what’s the point of flogging the dead horse(pardon the cliche but there was no choice to describe such a cliched scenario)..

Sachin Khedekar and Daya Shankar are the cops on trail and can’t decide whether they are a duo of Danny Glover-Mel Gibson, or Wel Smith-Jackie Chan or Naseerruddin Shah-Om Puri..

Performances are functional..surprise occasional..suspense and thrill null…

Sikander Kher could have chosen a better launch pad or gone Neil Nittin (Johnny Gaddar) way and become out and out anti-hero..Though he has a voice to carry him through..Watch out him making a mark either in realistic stuff or negative roles(imho)..Neha Uberoi..well she has to really get out of wood-stock expressions.

With due consideration to all the problems that a director has to face to redeem himself, i feel Hansal Mehta lost out on an opportunity..In Chhal he was raw but authentic..Here he has acquired polish but is fake..In Chhal i felt comfortable and at home..In this spooky Woodstock Villa i feel cheated..

Woodstock Villa ne Chhal liya!

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