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Hari Ananta Hari Katha Ananta

and that is so true about India also. India that is Bharat : That is Hindustan, That is this and that and what not.

What is in the world, that all can be found in India. India exists in contradictions because everything survives here. Entirely opposite faiths, facts and things easily grow here and entirely different thoughts and happenings exist at same time in this part of the world.

Here one can find all possible things available anywhere in the world. Every kind of person will be found in India. A person could be born in India but his habits can match with a person born and brought up far away in other parts of world.

Even if there is a trial to count people having sight only in one eye then they will end up in millions, same will happen to number of people who are bald, or blind or cynical or even mad.

India is unfathomable and its futile to define it in a single definition. Firstly, there is a dearth of words and if somehow one surmounts this lacking and uses his brain about a topic, entirely opposite event happens somewhere in the country and one loses its wit.

When developed countries were still busy in making fun of India that it is a country of magicians, monks and snake charmers, suddenly earth was trembled by whirlwind produced in Pokhran in the aftermath of five successive nuclear explosions.

On one side software professionals gift us the Super Computer and on other side, let alone ordinary mass, a large number of scientists were found discussing whether Lord Ganesha’s statues had milk on that day or not? Hankering after miracles is so much in vogue that when somebody claimed he has made Petrol from water and herbs, apart from naïve public, learned scientists forgot all the laws of thermodynamics and inculcated faith in the inconsistent claim and waited eagerly for the availability of indigenous petrol at a cheaper rate than mineral water.

On one side is the India that is shining and people have loads of money to spend daily on their luxury and on the other hand, farmers are there, burdened with debt and committing suicides. Producer of any damn thing can decide what rate he would fix for his product but farmers still give their produce at the rate which governments fix for them.

Ogling is a habit that is cherished by average Indian and people are so affectionate to neighbour that they keep constant watch what others are doing? And at same time we will find people living as a non-existent entity in a family and they don’t take any notice about others in same family, leave alone the neighbours.

We have a belief in saying “Ekla Chalo Re” on philosophical level and on another practical level we believe in team work (though with some different understanding) and coordination so we have this rationalization that most of the people are not working so we also have excuses not to work. Every other person thinks about development of country and dos and don’ts of government and they end up with a sigh “The system is hopeless, nothing can be done “.

West has become standard and we assess our images through their eyes. If its winsome its worthy for us too and we embrace it otherwise who cares for stones? Till West doesn’t recognize Ramanujam he remains mere Babu for us. We don’t pay attention to Yog but when it come back after recognition in west with suffix “a” we catch with zest this “Yoga” and engage ourselves in providing more blood to brain through topside down. Basmati, Haldi, Neem don’t draw our attention till multinational companies try to take patent on them.

Ayurveda, which was essential part of life of Indians get corrosion in its birth country and we hope that others should recognize its value. We don’t invent anything by reading Vedas but whenever something is searched somewhere in world many people, who even have not seen any Veda, react, “Oh! Vedas have mentioned this and people have stolen idea from there only.“

We are proud of Nalanda and Taxila while Universities and Educational Institutions of present days show their deplorable conditions that they are now arena of politics and hooliganism.

“Sone ki Chiriya“ of past is now reduced to pauperism and as an old sayings goes, “Take debt and enjoy life“ – our Intellectuals and Prudent economists follow the aforementioned saying.

We are well versed in disintegrating the geography of nation. With latent reasons we divided this nation in two parts in 1947, then we divided the states on the basis of languages and made linguistic provisions. Then again demands keep arising to divide the larger states into more states and the reason is always difficult to understand as it is beyond comprehension. Some say,” its difficult to manage big states“, some say, ”we need proper attention as this area has been neglected in past “, some say, ”this is political trick to appease the ambitions of local politicians“. Whatever the logic given, perhaps Indians have not yet overcome the old ages of Rajas and Maharajas, so enjoy having more governors, more chief ministers on their heads to rule!

We always talk about fraternity, uniformity in diversity and fight over the use of water of rivers, as if we are Bhagirathas. We make sarcastic remarks, cut jokes on each other and its common thing to see that if we are serving in other states other then our birth state then talk of no less then globalization but if we are residing in home state then other state-wallahs are outsiders. When one politician wants to become CM then other state - wallahs are almost untouchable and they should leave his state ASAP but if he has desire and his age permits to become PM then he tries to show him as a true deity of Bonhomie.

Chhota karke dekhiye jeevan ka vistar
Ankhon bhar akash hai, bahon bhar sansar.

All Indians resound with slogan “Vasudheva Kutumbkam“ and our society suffers from untouchability, communalism, casteism etc. We sing in chorus that no religion teaches enmity and its possible here that roads are irrigated with blood due to communal riots. We are enamoured of Non–Violence and it is not uncommon to see tandava of violence everywhere. We have become stooges of political parties and our interest depends on the fact that whether particular party is able to content well being of a particular religion, caste and segment or not.

Greats like Neta ji, Gandhi, Bhagat Singh fascinate us and everybody pray that such persons should take birth in our nation but not in our home but in the neighbour’s home because to praise Meera’s devotion is very easy but to bear Meera’s rebel is a difficult thing to digest.

Pujaghar mein murti, meera ke sang shyam.

We keep statues of Radha and Krishna in temples and many people of same society may punish if a boy and girl try to be Shyam and Radha respectively.

Who other than an Indian can create “Nari : Tum keval shradha ho“ and we are one of the biggest gender discriminators. A large number of women loose their modesty daily because of brutality and lust of men. Not only minor girls are abused but old women, like Bhanwari Devi, are also included in the list of victims. We proudly say that Raja Ram Mohan Rai abolished the practice of Sati more than 150 years ago and in the dusk of 20th century forced burning of Roop Kanvar capsized the boat of success of this abolition. India is the only country who percept God as “Ardhanarishwara” and here bill for upliftment of women doesn’t get respect in parliament even after 61 years of political independence.

Female foeticide has reached to an alarming stage. Day is not far when all men will marry each other or who knows union of men and female animals will create a new species.

We say ours is a shy society and we are sexually righteous people and this sexually diffident country is going to be blessed with largest population within few years in this new century only.

Bribery is the order of the day and if one wants to utilize its ability to serve nation one should have godfather/s besides a father. We don’t only import a large number of goods and technology we once imported dung too from abroad. People even often make fun of the country by singing “Sau mein ninyanve beiman phir bhee mera bharat mahan”. But at same time people can be found who are doing the works sincerely and who strongly believe in whatever they are doing. Not all are spoiling the water of Ganga and other rivers and few are involved in their purification and they know that perhaps their good contribution is almost negligible in the fields they are working but they are continuing their works.

Here its possible that after questioning about escalating prices of tomato, potato, onions, concerned minister can say in answer that only rich people eat expensive tomatoes and ordinary people should refrain as it can leads to stone according to Ayurveda.

Anyway it can go on and on.
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Literature has been creating around this line where we laugh on ourselves. Films have been made in the past also exposing the contradictions and stale rituals, doings and beliefs. Satire and humour have been great tools to describe the lacking of society and they have been existing very well since time immemorial and and people get the message in a joyful manner through these mediums.
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Villagers are normally filled with humour. They may not have higher academic degrees but that does not reduce their capacity to create and enjoy the humour. They are rather more humorous than city based people.
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Scene 1.
In a bus, a boy to a smoking man (in his 50s. Windows are closed because its winter time.
Aap band kar do ye beedi peena, khansi uth rahee hai dhuyen se.

Old man,” Achcha hum 40 saal se pee rahein hain tambaku beedi, haemin to khansi huyee nahin aur tujhe paanch minute mein khansi ho gayee dhuyen se? Hain !. Kal doctor ko dikha liyo wo batavega kyon khansi utha rahee hai”.
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Scene 2
In a village an old man is walking with his stick and he strikes a fat woman coming from opposite side with covering her face with a veil.
Woman,”Baba , dekh ke nahin chala jata tumse, takkar maar dee mujhe”.
Old man,” Dekh ke? Are tu jo tanon (Tons) ruyee (cotton) bhar ke chal rahee hai shareer mein, kahin rasta chhoda hai tune dusron ke chalne ke liye?”.
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It was a corner of the city and a truck was standing there. One could easily believe that it had taken birth only to rape the roads. Like truth this truck also had many facets. From one side policemen could say that it was standing exactly in the middle of the road while from other side driver could say that it was standing on the side of the road.
Following the current trend, driver had opened the right side door of the truck this opened door was increasing the beauty of the truck and simultaneously this act of driver was able to remove any danger of another vehicle passing through the road.
X saw the truck and started walking fast to reach there. He was cheated by Indian railway today. He had left his home by thinking that like every day, passenger train would come there two hours late but today it came just 1.5 hours late and he missed the train. He contributed in the history of complaint book and became ridiculous in the eyes of railway employees.
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Babu Ramadheen used to earn a lot from the opium business and there was no competition in this field. Only problem was that this business was a crime in the eyes of law. Whenever law was discussed Ramadheen used to say to his friends what I can do, law makers did not ask me before making the law.
He was arrested and presented before the magistrate where he said,” Saab, English government made this law without considering the facts. Opium is generated from a plant and when plant is grown then there are white flowers on it and its called Poppy. There is another breed of same plant and red flowers are blossomed and then there is third breed also and its called double poppy. Sir, this all is related with plants and flowers and what it has anything to do with the crime? Black seeds are obtained from white flowered poppies and they are used for medicinal purposes. This business can not be a crime.
Inspite of all his lecturebazi, Babu Ramadheen got two years imprisonment.
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Vaidya Ji showered his secret knowledge about the importance of celibacy on X.
First he told secrets of physical anatomy and how body works. After a lot of eating a juice is generated in the body and so much of this juice produces the blood and then something else and this something else generates one drop of semen. He proved that expenditure in generating a drop of semen was more than the total expenditure of making an atom bomb.
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