WHAT WOMEN WANT [ or why women should make movies ]
Part Deux.
…Apart from a little respect, here goes.
The first time I was ever slapped was for singing
“ Aaraysu ko boi paaraysu kunnanu……kOkaythukeLindi konDagaali… ”
This song is basically a very clothes weary heroine’s ostensible lament ruing her blouse flying away leaving her bereft of raiment with a very eager hero.
Despite the breezy tune, All that innuendo!
At 5 I did not understand the seething anger that led my mother to award me with a
One Tight Slap since the whole of Barkatpura could be heard humming it.
My audience constituted of some neighbourhood friends, boys of course. At their egging, I went on singing and acting with a lot of feeling and emotion, hoping someone would notice my talent.
But for a very protective grandmother, I would have been beaten black and blue AND gotten locked up in the bathroom as would happen often if I made mischief [which was often enough] and these bathrooms were far away from the house so no one could really hear you if you happened to die while being punished. Film songs were banned at home after that. My talent was noticed alright. Next day ma put me in a Carnatic Vocal class.
Sa Pa Sa.. Lambodara lakumikara……..
Ragam Tanam and bloody Pallavi.
Though I was not allowed to watch films and did not want to anyway [being footloose and fancy free did not bode well with being stuck in a cinema hall for three hours]
One day I did managed to sneak into a theatre in Bheemavaram during Summer Hols with a cousin brother just to annoy the family. We were ‘running away’ from ‘tyrants’.
Now it is common in small towns to advertise one film and show something entirely different to keep up the pretence of an upright family cinema hall and so it transpires that in June 1981 when I walked in to watch
5 MAN ARMY, I was the only female in the theatre,for miles and more, there were rural men and towns people, all devouring the naked bodies on screen and all the love making that went on and on and on….
Maybe the whole idea was to show only Those Reels?
I am not even sure if that is the film I saw.
I am surprised that I was even given a ticket!!! I paid for it yes, from stolen money.
Krishna kept insisting that I close my eyes, he being older and all but I kept saying
“Enduku? Boys kay na? Naynu kooda choosta”
“Why? Is it only for boys, I want to watch too”
I had not yet heard of Feminism so don’t accuse me of following a trend.
I am quite shocked now looking back that no one protested at my presence, nor did I encounter any pedophiles but I am filled with fear nonetheless in retrospect but what Joy that day in fooling the elders! Not yet a teenager, maybe that saved me from a horrible experience? Who knows?
What it did establish however was that men were extremely gleeful watching naked women.
While women are extremely bored, at least straight women.
I mean for all my curiosity I did not get what the whole fuss was about. I was instead watching the expressions of the men seated next to me. It seemed to be a better pastime and would provide fodder for the stories I was constantly writing in my head.
After the ’No Films for Kids’ rule was abandoned in favour of you-can-watch-one-film-a year by my father, I managed to watch some movies just to be able to converse with my school peers, most of whom did not read anyway leave alone write stories, not Those boys at That age and I desperately wanted to be a part of their ‘gang’.
They either played football all day or watched films.
It is this love-hate thing with men if you ask me that has been the downfall of Eve.
For men it has been love all the way, especially her Body. No two ways about it.
While my classmates went gaga over Love Story or Hero I would find them disgusting.
[Did I mention that I get disgusted very easily?]
What I remember from Love Story is how Kumar Gaurav tries to remove a thorn from Vijeta Pandit’s back and of course the camera pans ever so sinuously along her back while the male audience is already drooling trying to sit still while catching sight of her black bra.
For someone who has to wear them all day it is not SO exciting. Really.
I refused all discussion with my mother regarding proper womanly attire.
Corsets were invented by men I assure her.
I will not be party to this conspiracy I decide vehemently but you see if I don’t acquiesce I am unwittingly attracting more attention. Damned if you do, damned if you don’t.
No I was too young to have heard of bra-burning harridans but I had an absolute dislike for something that would constrict me that would strangely, excite men.
In Hero, I found it very odd that a nubile nymphet in Meenakshi Seshadri would be left unmolested by Jackie Shroff and gang while soulfully singing Koel Kookay Kookay…..under a fabulous waterfall… I could kill for such freedom!!
I mean, I hated the day when I realized that I could no longer share a certain camaraderie with the boys, that I would forever be viewed with desire with no ray of pure friendship ever crossing my path. I have cried and cried over this, at 12 it is pointless telling a deliriously happy girl that she is a woman now and for all time to come she must remember to behave like a lady.
I kept pulling and tugging at my T-shirt for days, kept praying for a flat chest hoping for a miracle that would help me be one of the boys again.
We would routinely bathe in the pouring rain in Bengal you see, playing football, removing our shirts and shouting to ‘Pass it like Pele’ ……
[this was 20 years before Bend it like Beckham].
A sad rite of passage captured so poignantly in THE DAY I BECAME A WOMAN.
So after I became a woman and promptly fell in love at 13, I bunk school to land up at the Officer’s Mess to see flustered fighter pilots fleeing hither thither catching sight of me in my uniform,
shouting “TV! TV! Bugger where are you, K is here.”
I had inadvertently chanced upon a group of guys watching some film which was bluer than Saawariya and very sweetly inquired “TV kahaan hai?” without flinching.
TV being the fauji version for Tiwari.
[his mataji later married him off to a ‘nipun’ bahu from Ballia but that’s another story]
One thing I have to say I do not get the point of pornography given my limited experience in viewing them to the above mentioned two incidents.
As far as I am concerned it is an affront to my imagination and my skills that I would need outside help, as also the sad fact that maybe the participating adults might have been subjected to coercion.
I do think people with more knowledge on this subject should talk about this malaise.
[ of Porn suddenly become very ‘In’, like Oh she is my favourite actress etc….and I had no idea of who Jenna was, mistaking her for Baby Bush ]
So you cannot expect me to enjoy films which show women being ecstatic, withholding or dishing out sexual favours in the same manner as male viewers do. This is true of most women I meet and they belong to all age groups.DEAR MEN, Sex is just one more aspect of us you see, it is a pity that none of you want to explore more, the ‘rest’ of what we really are.
Come Ek Do Teen and I find Madhuri extremely cheap. What’s so great about the song, she hardly wears anything? And you call THAT dance? Don’t you have to study for Boards?
That’s the point my class boys assured me, we have watched the movie 17 times just for this song!! She inspires us to study!
It annoyed me no end if anyone so much as said Ek after that.
Don’t even talk about Choli Kay Peechay Kya Hai, like I said, I KNOW ki kya hai….why would I go about asking others?
This whole teasing the male into submission using one’s physical charms is anathema to any self respecting woman and there can be no worse compliment for me than
“You are Beautiful”, I am like “Accha NEXT”. You really want to compliment me
Talk to me, Play Football, Debate, Discuss, Listen to my problems, Share your stories, [Fund my Films!]
90s ka tho poocho mat.
You are suddenly very sophisticated and posh if you pull out a brassiere from a girl’s personal belongings and she will love you for it. If it was me I would have thrown SRK out of the train. Saala ill mannered lout. Everything got so crude after that there is no point in even mentioning how disgraceful things got.
I mean imagine me writing about all this, if I was not so disgusted with the state of things and having a need to vent publicly, because frankly you men need to Think, zarraa.
Aur agar mummy nay padh liya tho meri chuthi! Naani bhi mar chuki. Me in Musi.
This fascination with the female body and her ability to provide pleasure to a man has been thus celebrated in all our films, through story, music and dance, albeit crudely, but what is conveniently left unexplained or forgotten is that the female in question might you know like have her own take on things….her perspective, her view of the world and so on. She might actually have a Voice.
During college I came across a book that shook me with what it conveyed and its powerful visual prospects. BRUSHTE[Outcaste] by Matampu Kunjukuttan twisted me by my neck and forcefully dug me deep into female sexuality. Being a part of the prudish 70s I had maintained a very puritanical outlook up until then but I could not stop thinking of the heroine, the plot, the possibilities, also depicting all this on film made my head reel. Somewhere in 1995.
For the first time in my life I thought of making a film, just so that people could ‘see’ this book. I was totally stumped about how to go about it. Pity that, years later when I actually took my interest seriously and did enquire about it I heard that this book has already been made into a movie, in Malayalam of course.
Based on a historic event, this is a fabulous take on sexuality and a wonderful story of revenge by a wronged woman: she manages to lure 64, yes sixty four, village elders to sleep with her, just to punish the Panchayat which accuses her of adultery. Her revelations led to much needed reforms in the Namboodari Community which had extremely strict ex-communication rules. I am definitely thinking of all the love making scenes here, where she is quietly triumphant, what drama! No coy “Mujhay mat chooyo, main mar jaaoongi” for her.
Like Manet’s Olympia challenging the audience instead of being ‘gazed’ upon but provoking and participating, fully aware of the truth that she is, not objectified but existing as a whole.
Then there is Pratibha Ray’s YAJNASENI, again her recreation of the Draupadi myth. The predicament faced by a woman with five husbands, with none remaining totally hers. How she was desired by all those who met her, much molested, mistreated, maligned. She even admits to desiring Krishna and Karna without guilt.
A luminous intelligence languishing behind a fiery beauty that none wanted to admit.
The Filmi culture that prevails and pervades in art and literature these days is quite a shock even to me who was quite a brat growing up. We were not allowed in school, as an unsaid policy, to perform for film songs or sing film songs unless it was Aye Maalik Teray Banday Hum Or Hum Ko Man Ki Shakti Dayna. That too only if we had run out of local or regional or patriotic fare. There would be at least one teacher in school who could teach us the Bamboo dance from the North East or a Kolattam or Gidda. Now that folk music has been usurped by Ila Arun and her followers, and music videos can’t get enough of short skirted school girls, it seems that the death of variety is imminent. All songs will be clothed in sex henceforth.
Yahaan tak ki even Bhajans are set to filmi tunes, each and every competiton on TV is set around them, young girls who are not yet 5 gyrate to obscene songs applauded by their mothers, it saddens me. Who do I blame? Ma, Beti ya Bollywood?
Time to bid adieu to my innocent friendship with men and their tastes and go to war, to the battlefield now. Mantra to myself for my movies.
Addendum: Guys I have grown up. I think Madhuri is Beautiful, at 40, finally!!
For some fundas on women and sexuality:
A great read on female psychology/archetypes:
GODDESSES IN EVERY WOMAN by Jean Shinoda Bolen, M.D.
And for a very thought provoking debate on what constitutes a Virgin:
PANCH KANYAS by Pradip Bhattacharya.
All of whom are much married/adulterous: Kunti, Draupadi, Mandodari,Ahalya,Tara
Anurag Kashyap
Abhay Deol
Dibakar Banerjee
Hansal Mehta
Khalid Mohamed
Kundan Shah
Anish Kuruvilla
Jaideep Verma
Manish Gupta
Navdeep Singh
Bhavani Iyer
D. Santosh
Onir
Ashvin Kumar
Ramu Ramanathan
Sudhir Mishra
Pankaj Advani
Revathy
Saurabh Shukla
Shilpa Shukla
Sujoy Ghosh
Suparn Verma
Santosh Sivan
Shashank Ghosh
Shivajee
Pavan Kaul
Partho Sen-Gupta
Prroshant Naryannan
Sam Langoria
Satish Kasetty
bravo to this one! hope you make your film jaldi. good luck.
>-
wow!
“As far as I am concerned it is an affront to my imagination and my skills that I would need outside help” exactly my thoughts, in fact I said the same thing to one of my friends. He was of course surprised and has made it a point to somehow tease me about it now and then.
Yajnaseni! what a book! me and my friend read it back to back while in a summer school during my undergrad, we were both dejected and low-spirited for couple of days.
honest…one of truly in”sight”ful, entertaining n humorouswrite-ups i hv seeen in ling, long time…u hv a delightful way presenting little confusions of ur childhood n adolescennce through the lens of ur discerning mind…i truly felt transported into ur time n place…
n hey make that movie…!…we hv already seen a wonderful communicator on pages….will love to see her playing with the images…:)
=d> This has been the most wonderful and entertaining post that I’ve chanced upon at PFC. Looking forward to more!
Films toh okay hai madam, run for president/PM/whatever and you’ve got an assured vote from me!
^:)^ K3 u r da rockingsssss of da tonite ..
but which mallu movie are you talking about? (madampu Kunjukuttan’s story)
Finally someone let it out!!! Bravo! bravo!
And why everything for the eyes of men, need somethings for the women eyes too… besides John A.:d
K3 – thanks for the trip. 5 Man Army which I watched was a paler version than what you seem to have seen. Anyway, this deserves a riposte, sooner or later
Nazdarovia!!!
try Written on the Body by Jeanette Winterson(not a straight)…it may not be in the same category but it almost falls into the one you are talking about
Baap re baap ……..
No comments .
plz make a movie jaldi wahi dekhenge
:d
Well why dont you try and make a movie on your thoughts and experiences. I can say for sure it would be most entertaining and insightful look at life. Thanks for the post btw. It has made me see things differently. ;) from a female point of view
@Kavi,
Now that u’ve mentioned Brushte,I vaguely remember reading the story some years back.I had been to my Uncle’s place for 10th vacation classes and had stumbled on this story while scouring my sis’s texts during free time(she was studying B.A).
Doesn’t the story start with the woman appearing in front of the writer & narrate her story?Although I guess I was too young to realise the implications of the story,I remember feeling proud of her rebellion.Another aspect that I noticed is often people who were infamous for some so-called wrongdoings/crimes often turn out to be people who are misinterpreted & their side of the story deserves to be heard too.
Would love to see ur version of it!
appropos What Women Want:
Smriti:Dhanyavaad!
Neeraja:Philosopher/Mathematician/Feminist= WOW!!
And you have even read Yajnaseni,
what more can I ask!!
Anupam:It feels wonderful to be appreciated thus.
Kunal: You could not have given me a better compliment
Meri Kundali bhi yahi kahati hai..
Stick around and cast the FIRST vote!!
Dpac: Matampu Sankaran Kunjukuttan’s Brushtu
[ Outcaste ] was made into a film, are there TWO Madampus? One with a t and another with a d…you MAYLLUS I ZAY…..
Suchita: Female gaze haan? Since traditionally, the female is the ‘nurterer’ the said ‘gaze’ may have been absent, come into life in recent times just to spite the men:d
Subrat: Riposte kay intezaar may………..
Madhuchandra: I who took pride, in not having looked up a dictionary or googled a word, for the past 10 years have been humbly sent to the gallows for Nazdarovia!!
Nikhil: Did you attempt PFCOne? I think I saw something by you? Good try…keep going.
$iDs: yeh kaisa name hai baap? And why? Thanx though…
Ruchi: Am intrigued that you read Brushte, English? Malayalam? Yes, its about PAPIKUTTY
[ appropriate name what? ]….
Its all about perspective I guess.
@ k-3
nazdrovia is cheers in polish
Dabba:
Since I know of your love for Slavic women I will not doubt that a bit :d
Nazdarovia!
@ k-3
Zing! didn’t know others were listening in on that conversation between mainak, george and I. not that paavum anymore i guess.
dabba
i was torn between eavesdropping [ which I love ]
and leaving my bit on the ‘best’ men :d
for the record Portugese men ARE something else!
k-3
wish u had joined in and contributed. it was turning into a salami fest and would have been good to have a different voice.
its more of a ‘d’ than a ‘t’ when u say it in mallu…
so ‘Brushte’ was the name of the movie as well?? or did i miss something…
Dpac: www.cinemaofmalayalam.in
I know I know odd name but clean site with a lot of mallu film info.
Saw it somewhere there but now can’t seem to recollect the link:(
Not sure if it was called Brushte ……..
If you find out do let me know, likewise here.
K
unfortunately, that link’s been down for a while now…
ehehe, it wasnt ‘brushte’ …
it was more like ‘bhrasht’.. \( i was thinking all soviet connections with ‘brushte’)..
one mention of Madampu and brushte was enough for my mom and friend to figure it out…
the movie was ‘Parinayam’ by Hariharan..
he revels in doing doing adaptations of books
(a big minus in searching for this -life long ridicule for saying brushte instead of bhrasht- australia se aaya saala bhaaasha bhool gaya phirang ban gaya kind of ridicule)
Dpac in dh soudh it is aaLwayz Amruda,Krupa,etc no?
not Amrita/Kripa…….
pls convey zanks to your mother and ask her if it was made well!!!
ie if she would like to see a ‘better’ version :d
pooar mayllu’s bhasha iz BRASHT….
forget her… i would love to see a better version…
the movie was made about 5-6 years back…not really during her movie watching timesss
and nope it is amritHa and kripa…
btw Parinayam was pretty good. except for the main lead…
excellent !!!!!!!!
Manasulo vunandi rayagalagadam chala great andi. chala baaga rasaru. naa manasulo doori chadivi rasinattu anipinchindi..
keep writing. Hope to see/read more from you.
The site is www.cinemaofmalayalam.net
The novel ‘Brushte’ was one of tighter version which i’ve read in malayalam. Even its translation made it so simple but it’s names are not digestable to the north indians
dunno how i missed this gem. stumbled upon this by mistake. awesome post. brutally honest. salut!