Whats Going On…
You take…
The most charismatic directors of Hindi cinema a.k.a. KARAN JOHAR
+
Add to that the most famous bolly star ever…the legend of Indian Cinema i.e. AMITABH BACHCHAN
+
Most famous bolly star of current generation (and the only one to match Snr.AB Charisma) i.e.SRK
+
The hottest actors among the current crop of actors and the most eligible bachelor in India i.e. ABHISHEK BACHCHAN
+
The current best actress of B town…i.e. RANI MUKHERJEE
+
The current second best actress of B town…i.e. PREITI ZINTA
+
40 CRORES
+
The best locales of one of the best cities in the world i.e. NEW YORK
=
A 3.5 hr un interesting ,insipid non tolerant tearjerker (all fake tears mind you!!!) DUD called KABHIE ALVIDA NAA KEHNAA. (Alvida it is from my side).
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Now you take…
Most famous bolly start of current generation “I AM THE KING (Khan)” which he proudly says.
+
One of the hottest actress of B Town i.e. Priyanka Chopra
+
One of the most promising directors of bollywood i.e. Farhan Aktar
+
One of the most popular/ loved scripts of Indian Cinema
+
best technicians from all over the globe
+
Kareena Kapoor…Arjun Rampal…Boman Irani…to everyone in blink ‘n’ miss roles
+
35 CRORES
=
A super DUD called DON…dont think…dont feel…just see it and forget it…cause all the makers wanted was to get you inside your local multiplex and make that deep burn in you pocket.
Wether you get entertained or not is not the responsibility of makers or none of there concerns…
“Don ko jhelna mushkil hee nahi naamumkin thaa”.
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Now you take…
The most popular KHAN among the junta i.e SALLU BHAI
+
The most popular NON KHAN among the junta i.e AKSHAY KUMAR
+
The most beautiful actress in Bollywood…Preity Zinta
+
All the Dream locations of/in NEW YORK
+
One of the best producers of Bollywood…Sajid Nadiadwala
+
40 CRORES
=
A miracle called JAANEMAN…miracle cause it will put you to sleep without popping that pill.
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Wait it gets better…
The Baghban/baap of bollywood…AB Snr
+
Our mass appealing KHAN…SALMAN
+
Best actress among the current crop…RANI MUKHERJI
+
DUDE of Bolly land…our local BIKER BOY…JHON ABHRAHAM
+
HEMA MALINI
=
BABUL…naam hi kaafi hai…those of us who have had the unfortunate experience of watching this movie will sympathise with me.
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It aint over yet cause…
The most dedicated actors of the industry…HRITIK ROSHAN
+
The coolest of all…the most eligible bachelor in/of India…AB Jnr
+
Ex. Miss World…Indian Beauty…turned foreign babe…with Bikini,Smooch,Attitude…AISH RAI
+
Bikini…Beaches…Babes…Brazil
+
Bipasha Basu our desi Demi Moore
=
BOOM 2
BOOM2 is just like Aish and Bipasha “ALL BODY NO SOUL”…worthless/mindless peice of junk.
All the above said movies had everything going for them BIG BANNERS + BIG DIRECTORS + BIG BUDGET + BEST TECHNICIANS + BIG STARCAST…now you tell me “How can one even think of screwing from here…”
but…but our guys have shown the way by making the most pathetic/substandard cinema of all times…Waste of Time,Money,Talent,Resources.
Really I am amazed how can someone go wrong from the above said positions…the reason to this I will cover in a separate topic (but will that matter…I dont know.).
Please answer this:
Do all these big movies…having these so called awesome scripts really do require all these stars,budgets etc. etc. to tell a story???
OR
Is it cause of all these stars that they dont require a script???
Anurag Kashyap
Abhay Deol
Dibakar Banerjee
Hansal Mehta
Khalid Mohamed
Kundan Shah
Anish Kuruvilla
Jaideep Verma
Manish Gupta
Navdeep Singh
Bhavani Iyer
D. Santosh
Onir
Ashvin Kumar
Ramu Ramanathan
Sudhir Mishra
Pankaj Advani
Revathy
Saurabh Shukla
Shilpa Shukla
Sujoy Ghosh
Suparn Verma
Santosh Sivan
Shashank Ghosh
Shivajee
Pavan Kaul
Partho Sen-Gupta
Prroshant Naryannan
Sam Langoria
Satish Kasetty
the thing is people(audience) presume that those movies are going to be good or great so they watch it, but none of those movies are going to be good or great, ever! I would have thought people would have understand the jist of what those producers are trying to sell and hence not watch any of their films in future, but naaaaaahh…. And then, some Filmi Awards give those movies awards to make those movies officially great.
It is easy to please Indian audience as easy as making (English) tea. Also the media does not help; they neglect quality work/talented people.
anyway, we have battered those movies and stars before so many times and what have we got from that? Nothing.
Thats correct man…it leads to nothing…
But I do hope some of us from this very forum will make the difference…
Someone has to raise the bar and dont let these people make a fool out of us by giving us the most Substandard cinema of recent times.
Just a gentle reminder that mainstream movies are mass produced for the “masses” who have no other form of entertainment. Correct me if I am wrong, but the price of a movie ticket buys them 3 hours of fantasy which they cannot experience in real life. I am talking about the hard working, average education, blue collar folks who cannot afford fancy theatres, concerts and elitist entertainment.
The one’s who can afford that fantasy.. people like you and me……..probably( I am wincing in pain here, I don’t want to sound pompous), are a small percentage with above average education, maturity and a mindset that cannot digest the cheesy dialogues, make belief opulence and repetitive story lines. If the film industry starts making movies for the elitists, they will go bankrupt in no time.
At some point in your life or other you need/needed main stream cinema, no matter how elite, you want to make of yourself. So please, lets not bash and insult the intelligence of millions of movie goers, if you don’t like it, ignore it, else take it with a pinch of salt and move on.
That is my humble opinion and I am going to stick with it :-)
Yes that is your humble opinion and I respect that…but then tell me why are these movies not earning in India…as most of the above said movies have earned (whatever amount) from overseas.
Correct me if I am wrong but as far as my knowledge goes DON, JAANEMAN, KANK, DHOOM, BAABUL were not exactly lapped up by our so called average cine goers….then whats the point of making these films…
I completely completely agree with Cliff. Once in a Balaji meeting, someone argued with Ekta that this point is not logical. She Exclaimed, “Logic is for the intellectuals!And they are just a speck of dust in this country, who will always keep crying hoarse. I dont care about them. Bahadur,paani laao.” I was aghast! Moreso, because it’s a sad truth.
Shitij, I dont know whether I should be ashamed to say this or not, but I felt Jaaneman was a surprisingly decent commercial entertainer.Mind you, a decent ‘commercial’ film. Dhoom2 is a big hit in India as well. Don and Kank earn their moolah through first week opening,music and t.v. rights. Overseas collections is toh different ballgame altogether. God knows how much they must be earning there.
So how come up India is dubbed as a Brainy Hub? :-?
Anyway, majority of overseas audience is made of paanwallahs and rickshawallahs ;) They watch Hindi movies for costumes, songs, dance and of course for stars. Barely half of them understand Hindi so don’t think they would bother to watch a proper Hindi film.
- Chaitanya, Jaaneman is a decent film though let down by it’s own initial trailers (think I have a post on trailers somewhere here or on DT that mentioned Jaaneman as an example)… Heard Dhoom2 has made a 165 crores so far world over :o Never heard of an Indian movie crossing the 100 crore mark before…
All u single men have a choice of goin / not going 4 these movies. But poor married men have to toe the line where these movies are concenrned as women go ga-ga over all the above.
I am sure all these movies do well as the ladies of the house force all men to go to cinema to watch 3 hours of nonsene. Take any of the above you will find women eqaulling men in the cinemas.
Anyway, I have almost converted my ladylove and fortunaltely I dont have to go to cinema for watching these kind of 3 hours of crap.:d
jaaneman was a decent film… i think the director had a nice story 2 tell in a different fashion..but the star status with the movie myte have affected it..
it was a perfect example of technique taking over content… shirish even said in an interview that jaanemann was 20% of what he wanted… shirish’s capabilities were seen in movie.. infact i can say he is a nice director!!! if he weighs content over stars…
Don’t agree that Jaaneman was all that decent. Agreed, it was rather stylistically shot, but IMO the music let the film down badly. A film styled like a Broadway musical HAS to have GREAT music, and Jaaneman was not even close on that front. Not to mention Anupam Kher (who is soo good when he underplays, like in Khosla ka Ghosla) goes completely over the top as the dwarf (a gimmick that contributes to the movie nowhere), to the extent that even Salman Khan appears sober in front of him.
In one word, I prefered Don !!
muzzy, just tell her that if she wants to watch these movies and more particularly, watch them with you, that she has to pay for them ;) thanks to this rule, i have still not seen KANK, don, jaaneman, or baabul :D (although i’ll definitely end up watching don on dvd sooner or later)
I agree that most of the movies with big starcast gets very popular in US or other countries…mostly because the indian film industry keeps/helps the indian population in other countries connected to their homeland… and a huge portion is marketing… i live on campus with no other Indians(desi).. with no Indian stores and/or theatres near by but i STILL hear about karan johars next film…its sad that i never hear about some films that may actually be really good…
I have a different take on all that has been said earlier in this posts+ comments
KANK …..ROXS
DON……ROXS
JAANEMAN…ROXS
BABUL…ROXS
DHOOM2….ROXS…..
Why? Bcoz…If (even) I had to re-make them…they would have a story to it….And all the above said movies had everything to it…but…STORY
Cliff: you touched upon something that I’ve been thinking lately. Movies will be made just for entertainment and in fact, they should be. However, what’s sad about many of the aforementioned movies is that they throw logic to the wind and numb the audience’s minds with mediocrity.
Muzzy: I too sail in the same boat; but things are getting better over time.
I guess all of us have our seperate views to the above said…
…and I hope our movies change for better.
As for Jaaneman…I am amazed :o that this movie has some fans…yes I agree the teasers and all were interesting and new (Infact I had lot of interest in the movie)…but the movie was bad.
…my latest interest in SALAAM-E-ISHQ…the teaser for this movie is brilliant…I hope our desi LOVE ACTUALLY is actually that good…otherwise I will have to write another article like the above one.:-w:-w
Salaam-e-ishq is like Love Actually…for real?? :o
Shitij, you said it. Jaaneman was aweful. It started well and I liked the wat songs were placed, picturized in first 30 minutes. After that it was a free fall. Nail in the coffin was the typical DDLJ’ish family depiction ( Preity zinta’s). Complete downer. Sau dard and humko maloom hai were melodious.
And thats why I hate all those dumb NRI’s…if they are missing the country so much…please come back home…dont make sunil darshan, dharmesh darshan or karan johar’s movies big hit there….And even though Shahrukh is the biggest star overseas….swades didnt work there …DUMB!!! DUMB !!! DUMB!!!
phoniex … at the risk of offending many others..and digressing from Oz’s wonderful post … i have a slightly different viepoint to offer.
I do detest these NRI yuppie romance films …. but as far as the NRIs are concerned … these (Dharshans, Chopras, Johars etc) make films as Bhojpuri films. They are the ‘bhojpuri filmmakers’ for the NRI audiences.
If u see specifically in bombay, bhojpuri films (hey bhagwaan !!!) are a big hit among a few suburbs in mumbai specifically catering to the UP speaking bhayyas (no offence to anyone). Because of the large population of UP-Biharites in the city. Atrocius as these films …. they are usually housefull !!!!
Why is that ??? Because bhojpuri films remind them of their ‘culture’.
Similarly … masala – senseless tamil films are also a big hit in Matunga – a suburb in mumbai (thanks to the largely tamilians in that area) ..
While they may not appreciate a 7 G Rainbow Colony, Pudupettai (basically low budget experimental tamil films), whenever a Kamal, Rajni or any other superstar film (masala) is shown … needless to say what happens !!!
As far as most of them are concerned… ‘revisiting tamil culture’ is the major draw …
I’m not saying which is bad or which is good … Just a lament…. thats all…
Thats why an Omkara, Sehar, Khosla ka ghosla will have a lesser appeal than a kuch kuch hota hai … KANK …
international – NRI appeal i meant
oops … sorry i meant shititj in my first comment …. too many typos having today
erm, don’t you think Omkara and Khosla Ka Ghosla showcase our culture (in true lights) more than say Karan Johar type of films?
I completely agree going to New York/London wont help [-x and believe me it has been done to death :o …what we want is cinema which can relate to our culture…Omkara,Khosla Ka Ghosla,Black Friday,Netaji Subash Chandra Bose,Rang De Basanti…is the kind of cinema which will pave the way for future…
Lets capture the west (if that is what we want) with our culture…I am sure we have thousands of stories which have never been told…the only thing is that no one has explored them…
One thing which is never clear to me and is so Ironical is that…Why is our NRI audience (mostly in US/UK) so much interested in watching our actors romancing in their own land i.e. US/UK :-t ….
ugh.. it’s idiotic as to how popular crap films are with the NRI audience. i try not to contribute to the success of crap films.. i figure there’s plenty of other people that’ll do that anyway. but shitij, as weird as this sounds, i think there’s a “home” feel that NRIs get when movies are shot abroad.. like KHNH for example probably had its biggest intials in NY simply bc people were able to relate to where SRK and preity were in the city. ie. if preity goes jogging all over NY, locations which are impossible to get to in a single jog (she practically went jogging all over the state.. ridiculous!) will hit home for the people settled there. they get a feeling of “ohh i know where that place is, i was just there yesterday!”..
not saying this is necessarily THE reason behind the success of crap movies abroad.. but just saying it would seem to be one of them..
@ Striker…”not saying this is necessarily THE reason behind the success of crap movies abroad.. but just saying it would seem to be one of them.. ”
Good point..agree this is not “THE” reason for the success of the movie…but…one of THE reasons for a good opening
Kartik….agree. Have told this to Oz also once. But still I hate them, hate them, hate them… just for that simple reason. Nothing else matters. KANK n all other crap. Hazaroon Khawashein Aisi…doesnt make them nostalgic ??? I can hear ye jo desh hai tera from Swades….again n again n again….n not get bored. Simply love that movie. But those dumb(repeating again)NRI’s…god knows why…love only karwa chauth n what not. And now to make money, people make films for them.
Cough…cough…lot of NRI’s on PFC…ahem..lol!!!!
Not all NRI’s like all these big budget ‘blockbusters’!!
But,I am with Chaitanya Tamhane,Oz and Bhavesh Purohit re ‘Jaan-e-mann’.
It was let down by mediocre trailers, but as far as entertainers go, this was a decent effort by Shirish Kunder.
You simply cannot deny this man has a style of his own, and to be honest, the music can be appreciated only after seeing the film, and boy does it fit in!
And for all those who are blaming the N.R.I’s etc.. well, please dont forget that alot of the N.R.I’s have the values of an India from 30-40years back or so…they envisage an India from a diffferent era almost.. kinda like a time warp.
Thats why these films appeal to them.
In other words, india may have moved on a great deal from the 60’s, but sadly, the NRI who resides abroad and doesn’t go back home for whatever reason, is going to like these films as it reflects their sensibilities.
“But,I am with Chaitanya Tamhane,Oz and Bhavesh Purohit re ‘Jaan-e-mann’.
It was let down by mediocre trailers, but as far as entertainers go, this was a decent effort by Shirish Kunder.”
here here! I totally agree with that.
I think Cliff’s comments pretty much reflect what i want to say on this subject.
Yippeeeeeee! I am not the only person on earth who loves world cinema and yet find Jaaneman a decent ‘commercial’ effort! Don’t read too much into it.
striker & OM…I guess I somewhat agree with om about striker’s reasoning behind the success of movies abroad as not being ‘THE reason for the success …but…one of THE reasons for a good openin’….. but also like to note that the movies shot in areas such as NY would only be more appealing to Indian population living in NY area…not so much to others…On top of that, not a lot of low budget films are well advertised US; so people don’t hear about ‘em… maybe it’s different in NY or CA areas, so cant say how it works there…also i agree with chaitanya about janneman as a ‘decent comercial effort’!!
I guess Jaaneman has touched lot of mans(hearts)…
Dear B – as you were not knowing Salaam-E-Ishq is our desi Love Actually…I can for sure tell you 2 stories which are direct lift offs from the movie -
1. Anil Kapoor and Juhi Chawla Story – This is rip off of Ema Thompson episode of the film…where her husband falls in for a gal in his office – in our case Kapoor will do the same and has two kids and a wife,as was the case in the orignal.
2. Govinda and the Foreign Gal – This is the Colin Firth episode of the movie (It is my personal favourite, just awesome)…here Colin Firth doesnt understand Spanish and the gal doesnt understand english…but still they fall in love.
Now this will happen with our very own Govinda…where by he will be unable to understand english while the foreign babe aint know no hindi…cant wait to see what Govinda has done to that story (Colin Firth role was class act…just perfect).
oh wow that totally makes sense now…anil kapoor as alan rickman…hmmm that would be interesting… and yeah… it’s little difficult to imagine how govinda would do colin firths role… anyway I do agree that colin firth’s part of falling in love with his non-english speaking(portuguese) maid was the awesome… thomas sangster’s part was also adorably cute….
anyway thanks for da info!!