Zindagi Jhandwa, Phir Bhi Ghamandwa
e•go - egotism; conceit; self-importance: His ego becomes more unbearable each day.
We all are created for a reason. We all have some duties to fulfill, to achieve something, to live. Every child knows or it is hammered down his brain how his future should look like. “I want my son to become an engineer!”, “I hope he fulfills my husband’s dream of working in the states”, “Now we just want to die after seeing our grandson’s wedding”.
Most of the time, everyone is trying to live someone else’s dream. Sadly, most of them just do that. There are so many things that we want to do, don’t want to do but we are just forced to follow the way it is supposed to be done.
We don’t want to get married so soon. But you approach your thirties, everyone psyches you out that you are getting old and you will not find perfect brides if you delay anymore. “You will have less choice with women”, “Your kids will have to introduce you as grandparents to their class mates”, “and you may not see your grandchildren”.
It’s almost the same for everything. Your family, your society, everyone tries to bully you to follow the path what they feel is right. Okay, okay…before this sounds like a Taare Zameen Par review, let me get to the point.
It takes a lot of courage, almost to the point of suicidal to chase your dreams in the entertainment industry.
“What?! You want to join films? Which girl will marry you?” “Listen to us and join your uncle’s software company in the US”, “you were much happy when you were doing that job and had lots of money”.
Yes, sometimes you do get second thoughts about everything. You remember the time when you suddenly wanted to visit a friend in Delhi and immediately took a taxi to the airport, bought the tickets with your credit card and landed in Delhi, had lunch with the friend and came back in the evening. Now you have to think twice about going to Bandra and wonder whether to take the car or the train.
That who survived the society’s brainwash and did manage to get through into the film industry, the ride has just begun. These are the lot who has decided to sacrifice almost everything in their life for something better. These are the tough guys. Well, things are going to get much tougher that the journey in the industry almost makes them lose their own selves. They become something else. I guess this is the price one must pay in life.
Those who make it in the industry definitely have gone through a lot. (Forget about the star kids) They have faced horrendous situations in life to reach where they are right now. Nasty comments, insults etc does not really bother them anymore. To imagine that at one point of time, we used to get upset with just one tough word from our mother and throw a tantrum.
Almost everyone have egos here. That too huge ones. The bigger you become, the bigger your ego grows. It almost looks like that you are taking a revenge on life. A life that has destroyed so much of your true self.
I once read in a newspaper that Sanjay Leela Bhansali had thrown hot coffee over an assistants face for something she did/did not do. Would a Sanjay Leela Bhansali, if he did not chose to join the film industry and was working in a traditional job do the same thing to his junior?
Every time you read a report about Nana Patekar slapping someone, you just brush it off as it’s nothing new anymore. If Mr.Patekar had not chosen the film industry as his profession and had gone on to become, lets say an engineer in the BMC, would he still behave the way he is doing now?
So, if all this grind in life that we go through in the film industry ultimately leads to a point where we do get everything, but lose something very precious from within, is it worth it?
Let me tell you my first brush with the film industry’s ego. I started working as an assistant when I was barely 18. I was the youngest in the team and everyone used to treat me as a kid but also with respect. We were shooting in some godforsaken but a beautiful town and were there for almost a month.
The heroine of this movie was also around my age and we hit it off quite well. We used to hang around together, go to movies after pack up and even the heroine’s mother did not have any problem but guess who had? The hero! He started making my life a hell on the sets and finally someone told me the reason that he is jealous to see the heroine so friendly with me!
Later in life, I have come across many people with inflated egos and attitude problems. I pray that I never become like one of those ever in my life.
Sometimes the ego starts even before they become something in life. “I am Ram Gopal Varma’s assistant!” “I am Ekta Kapoor’s close friend!” These kinds of people generally have more attitude than their mentors/friends. Is this frustration?
Agreed that we in the industry make lots of sacrifices, we are allowed to be quirky and crazy but I don’t agree/want this success and fame if in the process, I lose my perspective, my inner goodness. With bigger egos, we become intolerant to criticism, we become petty, we lose focus of the bigger picture. In fact, we film makers are supposed to provide the bigger picture to the masses. Do we really do?
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22 Responses to “Zindagi Jhandwa, Phir Bhi Ghamandwa”
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Man you nailed it ..awesome ….
:)>-:)>-:)>-
=d>=d> Fantastic and how true.
I think in the film industry ego gets inflated because people at the top are surrounded by lots and lots of yes men. And when the junior / yes man gets higher then he remembers how he was treated and starts dishing out the same stuff while being more egoistic about the fact that he can do it the others now..a never ending cycle.
@Srinivas N
Mast likha hai yaar,
@Sudhir
Exactly,. a never ending cycle
Like ‘Saas Bahu’ ki kahani
A receptionist or a watchman at a big production house like a chopras camp thinks he is the man himself:d
a quote i remembered.. which though not fits into this situation talks about power, “its true that power corrupts,but its also true that power attraacts the corruptible”:)
i am a s/w engg ..will be leaving this very soon to try hard in mumbai …man you post added to my insecurities
Srinivas N
Great post,=d>. The sensitivity and the goodness is the treasure of an artist, from where we dig the contents to paint them on to the screen, and slowly they die…if they don
srinivas N…a great post as usual frm u…filled wid insights..
just a minor correction…
it should be..
zindagi jhand baa…
phir bhi ghamand baa..
(this is how we speak in bhojpuri n “bhauji”wood…my native lingo..)
:d:”>
@zoombash,really i also read PFC for thoughts,Views,information and movies.
@srinivas N,fantastic article…
^:)^^:)^^:)^
after a long time…..Srinivas N back in form…in a new avtar….:)>-
Bravo! You have raised a very good topic.Everything has his/her share of ups and downs.Myself also from industry still striving hard to get my foothold.If i make it after 10years i will not change as a human being too a large extent.I am here beacuse of choice not by chance living/sacrificing fancy things of life.
@Animesh: I hope and wish that you remain the same all your life. But each passing day takes away something from us, each failed relationship makes our heart more hard, each failed attempt makes us more cynical so we do change and evolve, but if we lose our core goodness, then nothing ain’t worth it.
Thanks everyone for your kind comments.
@Anupam: Thanks buddy and also for the correction
Will keep it in mind…
@Zoombash: Well, thanks for your kind words, I do understand what you are trying to say…See, After reading this article, someone asked me to write more about movies, reviews etc…I told him that everyone writes reviews and I am not so great at analyzing and putting it down on paper…I definitely wish PFC should be more than a movie review site and to a large extent it is.I will write what I am good at…Sometimes you get shit and sometimes, non-shit
@Anand Kadam: Buddy, dost…Once you decide, don’t have second thoughts. Just jump. No looking back. All the best in your life!
very heartfelt Srinivas, hope this is the ‘real’ you:)
would you mind telling us ‘where’ this beautiful town was and ‘who’ the lady in Q is?
What a title,Srinivas.
I guess this roughly translates to - my life is a mess,but WTF,my pride is intact!
It starts with pride,then developes into ego and finally into arrogance.
Egoism is’nt unique to the film industry, you’ll find it in all fields which are dependent on creativity to sustain their growth.The fashion industry is one example,politics is another.
Life is a great leveller,Fridays takes care of a lot of inflated egos in the film industry:d
@Sudhir: the treatment is cyclic,like ragging in schools and colleges.
@ Suchita: power corrupts,but absolute power corrupts absolutely!
^:)^^:)^^:)^
Well it gave me an idea in which wrld i am trying to head in..Thanks man
Im 18 and similarly ive just started doing some work small work here and there
i can sense what you are talking off….people dont value people…theyre treated as pieces of flexible material that can shape into anything you want at whatever time you want,that can give you whatever emotion you are looking for and at the same time go get your cup of tea…
@Kavita: Kavita, the town is “Ottapalem” in Kerala. It’s a very beautiful place and I loved the time I spent there.
About the heroine, well…she is happily married now but went on to become a big heroine in the south ;)….
Arun, I agree you find people with inflated ego’s in all walks of life but its much more in the entertainment industry…”You took that person I have a problem with? I am leaving your project!”….Every day, these people hold the producers/directors at ransom with their threats.
That’s the most truthful I’ve herad about the Indian film industry. When I went to search for an internship, I got the rudest of responses. Hell, people didn’t even want to reply back. It’s a shame. Guess it runs in our blood.
@Srinivas N, Simran, Arshad Warsi(though i doubt it), Tere Mere Sapne? But according to imdb, she was 20 back then…
Or could it be Anari No.1 with Govinda…
@rbehemoth
There are other ‘Woods’ besides ‘Bolly’, I doubt if Tere Mere Sapne was shot in Ottapalem.
@Sri
I understand why you cannot name the lady in Q!
striker i took ur advice and checking all old articles and this is the only one that interested me. fantastic mr.srinivas, i like reading more about thoughts and not what these geniuses think about released movies.
srinivas can u pls tell us who that heroine is? it must be nice feeling to have a big heroine as good friend?